Wonkette
After a frightening round of campaigning in nearby Virginia, Bill Clinton has been given a long list of weird destinations, in hopes he will “keep busy” for the next eight years, far from polite Washington society. First came word of his appointment as special UN envoy to Haiti, which is known for its lack of TMZ and Politico reporters. Then we got the exciting news about Bill’s weekend trip to Austria, for the big transsexual sex festival, “Vienna Life Ball,” to raise money for the AIDS. Next up? A six-month diplomatic tour of Antarctica’s subterranean lesbian ice-sprite colony. [Gawker/Washington Post]
somewhere, larry craig is reading this and saying, “god, i wish that was me …”
“…subterranean lesbian ice-sprite colony.”
Someone insert the obligatory Hillary Clinton joke near this phrase.
Thank you.
Do they have spank-fests in the subterranean lesbian ice-sprite colony? Cause I’m so there!
Be careful Bill, in Austria guys lock girls in basements and sex them for years . . .
. . . oh, I see.
wheelie: well done.
Amuse-gueule at Haitian state dinners? Mud cakes and grass meringue!
Ken, You forgot. He’s being sent as special bratwurst-eating envoy to the October fest in Munich… from June ’til December. That should keep him under the table for a while.
Bill, please learn the easy way what an Adam’s Apple is, lest you become like those of us who, in a state of drunken stuper, made a “big” mistake.
Bill, damnit, learn what it is, don’t follow in my footsteps, that $5 dollars was not well spent!
But the Austrian trannies heart Bill SOOOO much!
FUCK THE AUSTRAIN TRANNIES! We need him as a special envoy to Alaska, that place needs another sex scandal ASAP.
Did any trannies arrive in blue Gap dresses with semen stains? Did any trannies leave in blue Gap dresses with semen stains?
I think there is some confusion here. The Austrian Tranny Festival is regularly stop on Bill’s and Ron Burkle’s annual summer European vacation tour.
facehead: You KNOW Bill would gladly impregnate Bristol or Sarah.
Why does he look like he’s about to trip over some titties and ass?
“I’m here to help the tsunami victims.”
“Uh, Mr. President, this is Austria — there’s no tsunami here.”
“Well close you eyes and smile, darlin’, there’s about to be.”
Doglessliberal: Or a moose if it would hold still for a couple of minutes.
Doglessliberal: nah - neither Palin is chubby enough yet, altho’ Bristol’s giving it the ol’ junior-college try…
The only other guy thats loves being on the road more is Willie Nelson.
The surface lesbian ice-sprite colony is so Paula Jones.
But srsly, this level of isolation means Bill is on the permanent poontang tour.
Antarctica’s Subterranean Ice-Sprite Colony: Was this not a Bob Dylan song???
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/90917262-SPRING-SPRITE
I’m worried about what global warming will do to the ice-sprites. They’ll have to come out - so to speak. And why didn’t Al Gore mention this in his film instead of just talking about polar bears? Is it because he’s homophobic?
DoctorCulturae: but man, he’s a happy happy happy permanent poontang tour man.
Was this an “appointment” or a “banishment”?
Subterranian Homesick Blues. Oh, Bill will be homesick when he’s in the Haiti.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-xIulyVsG8
DoctorCulturae: Nerdalicious: Perhaps it is The Poontang Exile, a new novel by Robert Ludlum.
DoctorCulturae:
“Perhaps it is The Poontang Exile, a new novel by Robert Ludlum.”
You just wanna be on the Death Puppet Shrunken Head Show, sayin’ “Robert Ludlum”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK6qcvrF-4I
Playas gotta play.
DoctorCulturae: How ’bout The Poontang Itinerary. Or maybe The Slish Junket. The Fellatio Expedition.
ALT TEXT: oh shit, that intern has a bigger ‘cigar’ than I do
SayItWithWookies: The Trim Agenda? The Quest for Strange?
obfuscator: The Cohiba Peregrination.
And on a slightly related note, it’s odd that thesaurus.reference.com comes up with not a single synonym for vagina.
Next!!!…. Bill goes to Cuba!!!!….Where the cigars are made!!!…
SayItWithWookies: Bill’s post-presidential memoir: “Pecker Tracks: Tappin’ It Across the Globe”.
WhatTheHeck: Haw haw haw!
SayItWithWookies: huh, I cun’t believe that.
Lesbian ice-sprites..? HOT.
No,no wait. I mean cool.
No, wait. I, I don’t know what I mean…
“Come Mister Taliman, …”
Oh, wait.
Maybe Hilary has decided to re-model that porch it was so hard to keep him on….if ya know what I mean…..
“Im an ex president, get me out of here.”
What, no Vince Foster jokes?
O.K., all you smarty pantses, let’s just see in about 4 years, when Haiti is at peace and undergoing an economic miracle, I wanna hear all these jokes about fat, black, sweet Haitian poontang then.
Laissez les bon temps roulez.
Once Bill addresses this latest task, I hear he’s been asked to help Joe Biden look for Michael Rockefeller.
Somehow I’m reminded of Graham Greene’s _The Comedians_, about a retired presidential candidate in Haiti.
Zhu Bajie
Antarctic Lesbian Ice-Sprites?
Where do I sign up?
Well, yeah, they pretty much have Bill’s number. Anything to prevent CLINTON-CLINTON 2016, the BATTLE FOR THE TOP (OR BOTTOM) OF THE TICKET. All the odd gods of the galaxy have mercy upon us.
Can’t help thinking of Bon Scott(original lead singer), belting out TNT, that great old Aussie rock song from AC/DC:
“So lock up your daughters,
Lock up your wives,
Lock up your back door
and run for your lives!”
Just seems to fit somehow…
Amanda Lapore took her body with her. I believe they reassembled it shortly before her arrival. There must have been some mix up, because the face she was wearing wasn’t real. Oh, wait, ewww…
“I did not have sexual relations with that zombie!”
thefrontpage: The living dead are better than Hil’.
WhatTheHeck: Bill keeps his bratwurst under his desk where interns can…. nevermind….