Joe Barton Hard At Work, Being An Asshole

  fightin' the gorillas

Opossum-eyed Jesus geologist Joe Barton, Republican Congressman from Texas, signaled his intent last month to stop the liberal Waxman-Markey energy bill — the one with cap-and-trade, which is about hamburgers — with traditional adult methods of opposition: “I’m going to be the sneaky little guy that pops up from behind the bush and fights the guerrilla. But guerrilla warfare does succeed sometimes.” (Fortunately for him this world has professional transcribers, because he definitely was saying he wanted to fight a gorilla.) And now he is popping up from behind the bush with a reasonable plan to block the legislation by proposing 450 comical amendments — four-hundred-and-fifty — that will simply be rejected, one by one, during an exhausting process that will embarrass the United States around the world and in Heaven. HAW HAW HAW.

As the Washington Independent points out, hundreds of the amendments are along these lines: WILL A SWING STATE LOSE JOBS? (Probably!) (But they’ll lose more when the EARTH MELTS in 20 years though!)

* #30: “Suspends the act should more than 1,000 jobs in Indiana be lost due to the implementation of this Act.”
* #31: “Suspends the act should more than 2,000 jobs in Indiana be lost due to the implementation of this Act.”
* #32: “Suspends the act should more than 5,000 jobs in Indiana be lost due to the implementation of this Act.”
* #33: “Suspends the act should more than 10,000 jobs in Indiana be lost due to the implementation of this Act.”
* #34: “Suspends the act should more than 50,000 jobs in Indiana be lost due to the implementation of this Act.”

Congress!

And here’s Joe Barton saying Henry Waxman “doesn’t have the nuts” to, uh, ignore Joe Barton. Does he know Henry Waxman?

And the Guerilla War Begins… [Washington Independent]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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