Wonkette
Ha ha remember this little flapperoo last week? The Washington Times’ secret Korean Jesus Picture Robot auto-selected a terrible wire photo for the newspaper’s story about young children dying, in Chicago. Call it a “WTF Moment,” in the parlance of our times. And perhaps because of this, and other flaps (constant lies, or at least a reputation for!), mean editor John Solomon will now be instituting PERMANENT RECORDS and DETENTION forever.
From: John Solomon To: twtnews Sent: Mon, 18 May 2009 10:31:00 -0400 Subject: Accuracy and Fairness
Folks:
Accuracy, precision, fairness and balance are our essential coins of credibility in the marketplace. As we expand our product line and our workload, we cannot allow these pillars of journalism to be compromised by shortcuts, sloppiness or deadlines. To ensure we all live up to the promise, I am instituting the following reforms effective immediately:
1) Any reporter or editor who makes an error in a story that requires a published correction must submit a letter to the Executive Editor and Managing Editor explaining the mistake and what corrective actions were taken. These letters will be placed in your permanent personnel file.
2) Any reporters or editors who submit stories or content without fair comment or adequate balance will have their stories bounced from the lineup until they are corrected.
3) All reporters who have had stories with published corrections in the last year and any editors who inserted errors into copy will be required to take a mandatory class on accuracy and precision to be held the first week of June and led by Carleton Bryant.
John
Well that’s… a good policy and stuff! But still, “Carleton Bryant,” stop being such a brown-noser.
MORE FUNNY ERRORS PLZ.
From the Office of Disciplinary Action at TWT High [Fishbowl DC]
If they have TWO published errors in a year, then they’ll have to sit in the corner!
Since when does the Moonie Times have “credibility in the marketplace”?
I guess this spells the end for the “Obama Builds Abortion Ray, Beams It at Arkansas” story.
“…will be required to take a mandatory class on accuracy and precision…” I thought they taught than in Journalism 101. Oh, it’s the WA Times, nevermind.
Whatever happened to the gold old days that when you fucked up, you got FIRED!? (Looking at you MoDo.) Now everyone just gets a sad face sticker in their personnel file.
1) Translation: FUCK up regarding the Obama Girls and our Dear Leader Rev Moonie will be deported to South Korea strapped onto a Tomahawk Cruise Missile.
2) Translation: Rahm has threatened to remove my thumbs and break my kneecaps if you guys fuck up again.
3) Translation: Anyone who behaves in the Times USUAL manner will be forced to listen to Dear Leader ramble on about his bowel movements for 8 hours or till their ears bleed. As I have spoken. Moonie 3:16!
Fuck. I was waiting for the photo of Sarah Palin above the “CRAIGSLIST CLOSES ‘EROTIC SERVICES’ PORTION OF WEBSITE” story.
Assholes.
This is the Washington Times. Their version of errors or a lack of fair comment would be a story stating,”Obama was born in Hawaii” instead of “Obama was allegedly born in Hawaii, but still has not released the super-special secret copy of his birth certificate”.
This is the sort of pettifoggery up with which I will not put!
Upon your third error in any two-year period, including any positive comment about any Obama or any Biden, the Demorat Socialist Party, or secret-gay Lindsey Graham, you will be required to marry a total stranger in a mass wedding performed by his Holiness, the Rev. Kim Ill Jung Jumped Over The Moon.
I wonder who leaked the memo? If only we had Sherlock Holmes on the case . . .
Take care of the coins of credibility, and the notes of right-wing hackery will take care of themselves.
Carleton Bryant is dead…
Vice Admiral Carleton Bryant, USN (Retired), (1892-1987)
Elevated to the rank of Rear Admiral from Vice Admiral when he retired in May 1946, Carleton F. Bryant died at Camden, Maine, on 11 April 1987.
I’m sure that keep the payroll overhead down.
dijetlo: Since the Moonie Times gets its marching order from Ronald Reagan and Lee Atwater, it’s only fitting that their class on accuracy and precision is run by a dead admiral.
I hope that class is like the one you have to take when you lose too many points on your drivers license - the bloody brutal results of your failure that can only be saved by the ‘jaws of life’
Hey stop being such a damn Carleton Bryant and get back to work!
dijetlo: Oops, it was supposed to read - “a mandatory class on accuracy and precision to be held the first week of June and led by Admiral Halsey”
“stories or content without fair comment or adequate balance”
That’s pretty much all of them.
Carleton Bryant, *Rear Admiral* snicker, snicker.
Hey, maybe he’s that guy who was Ross Perot’s running mate. He starts the class on accuracy by asking each Moonie Times flunky, “Who are you? Why are you here?”
gjdodger:
Like RAdm Bryant, Stockdale’s dead.
I get confused: are they “pillars of journalism” or “essential coins of credibility”?
Visions of loveliness? Captains of Castille? Oils of Olay? Wisdoms of Solomon?
A Better American Than YOU: .. a murder of crows …
Those bitches looked like stone-cold killers to me. Now they’re asking me to adjust my stereotyping? FU, TWT.
I listened to the new Dylan record and the prospects for Sasha and Malia don’t seem pretty.
Too bad they don’t have some ‘edit person’ to go over and make sure all the pictures match up with the stories. Until such time as this ‘editor’ might be created they should crack down on the lousy stinkin reporters who compile everything into the final copy that gets printed.
dijetlo: Uh, shouldn’t that be “rear” to “vice”?
Carlton Bryant is fixing to have one sore butthole come June.
Oh if I had a quarter for every “letter put in my permanent personnel file” I would be a hell of allot richer than I am today. HA! I laugh in your face!
This Tims stuff is bizarre–and completely uncalled-for, as well as just strange, and odd, and slightly crazy, and Draconian, and unprofessional, and a bit childish, as well as unbalanced itself. What punishment is there for unbalanced memos?
Oils of Olay!
A Better American Than YOU: What’s really at stake here is the Times’ precious bodily fluids.
Johnny Zhivago: It was originally planned to be led by Commodore Perry, but he’s been waylaid by the North Koreans or something. They know objective journalism when they see it.
Has anybody mentioned the whole “Sets Record!!!!” thing kind of makes it look like a competition? I don’t know about you guys, but I’d rather there not be a mass-murdering competition going on all around me.
But why did the Obama girls murder all of those other children in Chicago? Why are the Moonie Times and Flox News covering up for the little socialist muslins?
What applies to the comments section of the Moonie Times, because that’s where the law really needs to be laid down, Hard. With me to start. I need severe punishment