Wonkette
Look everybody it’s Randall “Rand” Paul, who sounds exactly like his dad, and looks a fair amount like him too except with adorable curly hair! He has officially formed an exploratory committee to look into running for Jim Bunning’s Senate seat. (Bunning says he’s absolutely running for re-election, which means come on, he’s totally not running, which leaves this Republican seat open.) Dr. Paul has a handsome web site, and he’s already raised, what, nearly $14,000. He’s basically Barack Obama plus Ron Paul divided by Christopher Reeve’s Superman. [Rand Paul 2010]
I’ll bet he drives a blimp to work.
What teabaggery is this?
but did he ever throw a perfect game against the Mets??? Hmm???
YES!!!! Oh god this makes me happy. What doesn’t make me happy is that Bunning is totally going to drop out at the last minute to give Grayson the nomination. But until then it shall rain comedy gold on my homeland.
I want to make a comment about teabagging, surgeons and curling irons, but… nah.
Gay.
He says “mojo” all funny-like.
Is his either middle name “Ayn”?
He and Rahmses have the same thyroid eyes, but his hair is much dreamier. Too bad about his ill-formded DNAs.
His name indicates that he is the secret love child of Ron Paul & Anyn Rand. But, yeah, he’s almost as cute as Bo the Dog.
Is that Rand as in Ayn Rand or Randall as in Tony Randall? Either way, pretty ghey.
After he said “moe-joe” twice, I melted. *sigh*
Perhaps the best part of this announcement is the name of the youtube clip is written out “Rand Paul ANNOUCES Senate Bid”. The poor frothy-lipped Paultard was too excited to double-check the spelling on his uploaded video. Or he’s COMPLETELY retarded.
That curly hair may be libertarian, but it’s not real. It’s a rug.
MOJO!!! MOJO!!! let’s see now where’d i put that mojo,was here a minute ago.
Also Rand.
Pray… For… Moe-Joe…
Zadig: Or the fact that he is not even announcing a senate bid, he is announcing that he is forming an exploratory committee to decide if he is going to run. He probably will cause god knows Kentucky is full of idiots who would follow him, but still, jumping the gun Paultards.
Zadig: A little from column A and a little from column B.
Pray. For. Mojo.
That should be “Queen” of the Paultards.
SmutBoffin: Moew-Joew!
Rand and Kelley. Double name fail.
So his platform is that Pizza Hut is overregulated?
Stinky: One day he’ll be President. Of the company. That calls itself “The Hair Club for Men.”
Gun-toting Progressive: Dammit…and with better punctuation too.
King of the hair gel, too, apparently.
So why does he need to repeat everthing? Need to repeat everything a second time?
Fuckin’ Randroid.
He should hire professional web developers instead of dumb assholes.
nappyduggs: Rahm’s eyes are purtier. Also, Rahm wears a smirk to match and has good carriage, like a dancer-boy should.
So is it just SKS that is now friends with MSNBC, because the K.O. man had a sad for wonkette
or is a girl thing because its Rachels show.
Rachel rocks also
Another generation for another rEVOLution. This is going to be good.
Gayer than a pair of size 12 ruby slippers.
If anyone is driving around DC, SKS’s house is the one with the steamed-up windows.
Ch-ch-ch-chia!
Another OT Public Announcement (obviously I have no life)
EXCITING PUBLIC GATHERINGS: Hey people! If you are anywhere near San Francisco this Sunday, our chapter of the Wonkette cult is meeting up. Essentially what this means is that there will be drinking and it will involve Bay-to-Breakers, somehow. E-mail shorts@shortsshortsshorts.com for the details.
No Exercise Required.
MORE DETAILS:
To make this work, we will have to be drinking— heavily. So we’ll be loading back-packs with cheap beer and meeting on the park side of the corner of Hayes and Scott (Alamo Square) at 10:30 a.m.
Bring booze, guns and plenty of hookers, if you’d like. We probably won’t be walking very far (all of us will be drinking at a bar a bit later after walking). That’s the extent of the plan. I (skinny, awkward looking blonde dude) will be wearing a t-shirt that says “God Bless America” and a green hat.
MY FATE IS SEALED.
Also, he’s going to try to get to the Senate before his dad? Is that proper family protocol these days?
Someone stole the tail off that nice man’s Davy Crockett cap
shortsshortsshorts: but will you be wearing shorts?
He needs to strongly condemn his father’s derogatory use of the word ‘queer’ in Bruno’s new movie. I will also need to see him without his shirt before I can comment further.
Crank Tango: Obviously.
I went to a gay bar for Happy Hour last Friday. That’s what this thread reminds me of. So if you were ever wondering what it was like to go to a gay bar, now you know. Plus you don’t have to dress nice to be here. Or go to a gym. Or do the buttsecks.
But other than that, it’s just like it.
shortsshortsshorts: skinny, awkward looking blonde dude
*sigh*
Shorts sounds like a dream boat. If I weren’t already opposite married I’d want to gay marry you, Shorts.
Crab1: Yeah, some relief for the poors, some for the owner of the Pizza Hut franchise. A typical hands-across-the-aisles hermaphrodite. “A little too much of both and not enough of either.” - Archie Bunker
The tune goes
I got my Mojo workin’
But it just ain’t workin’ on you …
Speaking of blimps, TPM pointed out that Xe (what Blackwater is calling itself nowadays) is apparently advertising its blimp capabilities. (They’re also getting drunk and shooting people up, but that’s nothing new.) Anyway, Rand may want to see about getting them onboard with his campaign.
His wikipedia page shows he’s pretty gullible, falling for various internet con jobs:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randall_Paul
Rand Paul? I think all libertarians just creamed themselves at his name alone. Wonder which extremist group they’ll have to sheepishly apologize for with this character.
pondscum: Aw dammit. If not “Ayn”, Paul pere could have gone with “McNally”.
Mojo, huh? I really hope some Powerpuff Girl imagery is used against Mr. Objectivist K. Twatwaffle.
ReLOVEution, Jr.?
Hart88:
Up and a-coming from Ken-Tuck-ee
Most inbred state in the land of the free
Wants to switch to Ameros and legalize the grass
Too bad he looks like he takes it up the ass
Randall, Randall Paul
King of Paul-Tard-ia
FUCK! This guys some ideas…if he gains traction he might distract people from the elephant sinking into the tar pit…We need Boobies on TV, right now. Perhaps an “abortion cam” website. Does anybody have a brain dead relative they can lend us? Quick people we need to get the bitters howling nonsense and there is no time to loose.
Crank Tango: Randall Flagg
Hair. Club. For. Men.
He certainly seems excited about all those young kids cumming . . .
“Rand Paul is a career doctor …”. Thank you, baby Jesus. For a moment I thought that he practiced medicine as a hobby.
Purdy wife, and I like that she spells her first name the traditional way: with two E’s.
I’d do it, but then I’d do a lot of things. Please god, don’t let this be the topic for Weekend Wonkette.
And his ‘business’ web page shows as much imagination as he & his father’s ideas do:
http://www.randpaulmd.com/
I respect the Paulites. They are an intelligent enemy.
Randy co-wrote the new blues song, “My Mojo Is Not Working, But Collecting Temporary Disability.”
“Democrat primary”
Well, I’ve seen enough.
His full name is Rand McNally Atlas Shrugged Paul.
His hair is so thick and curly you hardly notice his eyes are totally fucking crooked.
“has been married to his loving wife”
So you’re saying he’s not a fag?
Mojopo! Where are you?..link to your blog… Link to your blog!!
Custerwolf: Now don’t you go spoiling this for me, Custerwolf! That peculiar drawl, and sexilicious ‘graying at the temples’ have got the “Whose your daddy, tha’s right!” playing quite nicely on the ol’ mental reels. And I don’t need the likes of you to go messing it up okay? His eyes aren’t crooked, see? His head is slightly mis-shapen due to a bar fight…yeah that’ll work.
RoscoePColtraine: Usually I make those kinds of ajustments unconsciously, but I was just too goddamned tired this time.
As a matter of curiosity, has it ever happened anywhere that a wannabe politico’s “exploratory committee” has EVER come back after doing its thing and said, “Sorry, Jack, but the vast majority of voters really just want you to STFU and go away…”?
I met 2 other doods name Rand today.
Hes got Dr. Perry Cox’s hair.
Just goes to show you, some people will do anything to get the fuck out of Kentucky.
Next time, on “Paultards - The Next Generation”…
Rand’s hair looks damp because of the Fountainhead.
So Randall = Rand?
I thought Randall = Randy. Which means he’ll get on quite well in the UK. I recommend he introduce himself as “I’m Randy” to as many dominant husky macho male types as possible.
I would like see a debate between Randy and Michael Steele. I think the talk of ‘Mojo’, ‘Baby’ and ‘Hip-Hop’ would add a lot of flava to an ordinarily insane Fox News broadcast
stormkite: And how does one get a job on one of these exploratory committees. Because that sounds like a real easy ride.
Amazing, now the paultards have another failed cause to latch onto.
Joshua Norton: Look no further…
I suspect improved relations between Kentucky and Syria, with ophthalmology as the icebreaker/touchstone.
The sons of despots (or potential despots) are always eye docs…
Wait…Isn’t he “love child” Ron and Rue Paul? Also.
“Rand Paul”? That’s his Saturday Night name, right?
“Hi I’m Dr. Paul. Rand Paul. Butt you can call me Dr.” - bet that makes the boys swoon.
Mojo, also.
What’s this guy, a Republican Austin Powers?
Blech.
It’s going to break the heart of many a Paultard when they find that “Rand” doesn’t accept contributions in the form of liberty dollars.
So, who’s the dude interview him?
A little late (Ayn) Rand Paul. Ryan Freeman wrote this piece in January http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/blogs/YeasandNays/Its-Operation-Missing-Mojo-for-GOP_013038656317.html