THAT WAS FAST  2:28 pm May 14, 2009

Keith Olbermann Denies This One Particular Instance of Jackassery!

by Ken Layne

Ha ha, sure.Remember when we posted that thing about an hour ago, about a CityFile report claiming Keith Olbermann missed his show for three nights because of some Rachel Maddow/Ben Affleck business? MSNBC just sent a DENIAL to your Wonkette, including a Prepared Statement from the teevee host. You will surely want to read it.

Hey there- The Cityfile people, charmingly, posted the story today 4 minutes after they left me a message asking for comment. Here’s a statement from Keith– his days off in April were a week after his mother passed away.

“That was my first opportunity to take even a long weekend to mourn my mother’s death and deal with the many sad logistics subsequent to her sudden passing. The source of this story is a liar and those who spread it without seeking confirmation or refutation are beneath contempt.”

Alana Russo
Director, Communications

Whoo hoo, does this mean Wonkette is now “beneath contempt” in Keith Olbermann’s mind? Self-important much?

We now await a statement from Jennifer Garner.

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

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gjdodger May 14, 2009 at 2:31 pm

“The source of this story is a liar and those who spread it without seeking confirmation or refutation are beneath contempt.”
So the source was Dick Cheney?

TGY May 14, 2009 at 2:32 pm

“those who spread it without seeking confirmation or refutation are beneath contempt”

You go, Olberboyy!

magic titty May 14, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Hrrrrumph! And stay out!

Advocatus_Diaboli May 14, 2009 at 2:32 pm

hmmm, I always thought of contempt as a bottom.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Well, usually I prefer to be on top of contempt, but I’m game.

Dave J. May 14, 2009 at 2:32 pm


Texan Bulldoggette May 14, 2009 at 2:33 pm

Then I guess Wonkette (not Shuster) will be tonights Worst Person in the Wooooooooooorld!

JMP May 14, 2009 at 2:33 pm

Ken Layne, tonight’s Worst Person in the World? It would be a more high-profile “award” than Pig of the Day, anyway.

ManchuCandidate May 14, 2009 at 2:34 pm

I’d believe a dead mom trumps Ben Aflac, but to be blunt an annoying hangnail can trump Ben Aflac.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 2:34 pm

[re=316724]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I spit coffee both times.

The London Rich May 14, 2009 at 2:35 pm

There are a lot of reasons to mock Keith Olbermann, but this is not one of them.

rambone May 14, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Is Wonkette now worst person in the tubes?

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 2:35 pm

I’ll be in the shower scrubbing the shame off.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 2:37 pm

And completely snark-free
….my sincere condolences.

TGY May 14, 2009 at 2:37 pm

[re=316731]The London Rich[/re]: He does sorta pompously rock.

bored with gravity May 14, 2009 at 2:37 pm

If Wonkette and its legion of bloggers were above comtempt, I wouldn’t be here. Also.

Joshua Norton May 14, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Ben Aflac

I didn’t know the duck’s name was Ben.

DoctorCulturae May 14, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Probably not World’s Worst, but on his new feature: WTF?!

Oh dear Overlord Ken. What mischief hast befallen you? Quick, switch to Dame Nooningtonbottom.

tonytonytony May 14, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Oh you can be guaranteed Olbey will have a field day with this, because it’s about him. I predict 16 of the actual 32 minutes of non-commercial time during his hour will be devoted to projecting spittle over this one. Perhaps Newell will be deemed a fascist?

Joshua Norton May 14, 2009 at 2:38 pm

[re=316732]rambone[/re]: Oh lordy, I hope so. When all else fails, lower your standards.

tonytonytony May 14, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Newell, Lane, Sara, they’re all the same.

Joshua Norton May 14, 2009 at 2:40 pm

“those who spread it without seeking confirmation or refutation are beneath contempt”

Isn’t that like 99.9% of cable news?

bago May 14, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Does this mean we are being teabagged by contempt?

bored with gravity May 14, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Hey Shortsx3, does Olbermann pay you royalties for stealing your “Daily WTF” feature? Because he should.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[re=316731]The London Rich[/re]: Agreed.

JMP May 14, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=316724]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Damn, beaten by seconds to the obvious response.

June Cleaver 2.0 May 14, 2009 at 2:45 pm

I only have love for Keith. He was the first (on these talking head shows) to call out Bush. Then, after that, Bush is a fool to everyone.

zenferret May 14, 2009 at 2:48 pm

That was beneath Alana’s contempt since it was her letter. How much lower than that is Wonkette to the Keith himself?

Mr Blifil May 14, 2009 at 2:54 pm

I’ll accept Keith’s opprobrium if he guarantees me that at no time during the period when the sad logistics subsequent to his mother’s sudden passing were being figured out did he once scarf scoobie snacks with the game on in the background.

arclight May 14, 2009 at 2:55 pm

I believe you, Keith!

Mahousu May 14, 2009 at 2:56 pm

I’ve been awaiting various things from Jennifer Garner, none of which, alas, are likely to happen. So don’t get your hopes up.

proudgrampa May 14, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Yup, I see another “WTF?” moment coming up on his show – real soon!

spymoose May 14, 2009 at 3:01 pm

Who is Keith Olbermann and why should I care?

Gorillionaire May 14, 2009 at 3:02 pm

To further refresh mammories, here – Affleck did a skit on SNL in which he did a Countdown satire which was actually pretty funny for a couple of minutes, and he signed the cue cards and sent them to Keef and on some of the worst gags he wrote “hey KO I didn’t write this!” and Keef had them on his show and it was cool. But since wingnuts don’t “get” good natured sillyness like this they all assumed that there was some bitter freaking animosity going on and for a nanosecond tried to scare up some girly gossip over it.

DAmicosonegoodyear May 14, 2009 at 3:03 pm

The fact is, though, that he’s enough of a pompous douchecanoe that it was believeable that he would have thrown a tantrum over the booking of Ben Aflax. Love ya, Kedo, but eat a bag of dicks.

Koolaid May 14, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Ya, that’s way sad. Now I feel guilty for chuckling. Also though “Hey there” from a news Communications Director? Why has the internet completely obliterated grammatics!

hobospacejunkie May 14, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Perspective, people. For all KO’s many faults I’d much rather have his pompous ass telling me what the White House was/is up to than those professional stenographers, AKA the White House correspondents. They’re the ones who cheered the march to war(s) and went out of there way to smear Gore & Kerry.

At the same time, if Wonkette, a gossip/politics site, is getting under the skin of both the right (NRO) and the left of center: UR Doin It Rite

crapistani May 14, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Yeah, Olbermann is a pompous gasbag (why should the Right get ‘em all?) but a break to deal with his mom’s death is more convincing than a snit about Ben Frickin’ Affleck.

Olbermann abused his soapbox to pay tribute to his mom when she died, but he did so with humor and sincerity. If you had the chance to eulogize your recently-deceased mom to a national audience, would you let the opportunity pass?

We now return to our regularly-scheduled snark.

Kingbee May 14, 2009 at 3:11 pm

Wonkette is now flying under the contempt radar screen!

SomeNYGuy May 14, 2009 at 3:11 pm

I guess my bringing up Keith’s dead mother on the previous thread didn’t do the trick.

By the way, who and what is CityFile?

DAmicosonegoodyear May 14, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Oh, and Keith- You’re what got me through the Bush years. You, beer, kush, and wonderful Oregon feminist/whores. So no hard, k?

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 3:14 pm

And just for the record, Keith, I would never spread anything without proper conformation or restitution, as you said.

VeganBolagnaSucks May 14, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Wonkette has long been beneath contempt.Just ask Ron paul.

As for Olbermann,who knows?I mean the guy’s a bag of dicks,but he’s no Glenn Beck.

A Better American Than YOU May 14, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Damn, why didn’t Ken post his own photo above. Isn’t he the one who looks like the badly-hungover Ben Aflac who hasn’t been getting any Garner?

This could have all been easily handled if Ken L. had appeared on MSNBC’s front stoop, pretending to be Ben A. Tweety would have had first dibs, talked over Ken L., and Olbermann — not knowing the difference — would have named Tweety “worst person.” Now that’s conflict I like.

proudgrampa May 14, 2009 at 3:24 pm

[re=316851]SomeNYGuy[/re]: “I guess my bringing up Keith’s dead mother on the previous thread didn’t do the trick.”

OK, so we’re slow…

chascates May 14, 2009 at 3:25 pm

Well I say he had a tryst with K. Lo and that’s beneath my contempt. Now let’s hear him deny it.

S.Luggo May 14, 2009 at 3:26 pm

BTW: what actually is beneath contempt? Coal? I’ve always wanted to look.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 3:26 pm

I’m betting the only one who gets a good tongue-lashing out of all this is Maddow.

DAmicosonegoodyear May 14, 2009 at 3:28 pm

[re=316883]Custerwolf[/re]: I would proudly administer it.

Accordion-o-rama May 14, 2009 at 3:40 pm

I don’t think Wonkette is beneath contempt.

Mustang May 14, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Sorry about your mom Keith. That’s one of the hardest things in life, but I still think you should go away and calm down.

RoscoePColtraine May 14, 2009 at 3:50 pm

It’s that goddam David Schuster’s fault that I was snarky and mean to Keith! I hate David Schuster. I didn’t really believe you were a prima donna egomaniac, as I said in the previous post. I love you, Keith, don’t you go changin’ at all! Oh, and Wonkette should eat a bag of dicks for “making” me be mean to you.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 3:51 pm

[re=316909]Mustang[/re]: You copied that from one of his sympathy cards didn’t you?

Serolf Divad May 14, 2009 at 3:52 pm

does this mean Wonkette is now “beneath contempt”

Come on… Wonkette’s been “beneath contempt” for ages… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tommmcatt May 14, 2009 at 4:00 pm


Kinda like that London Symphony Orchestra version of “The Wall”.

Mr Blifil May 14, 2009 at 4:08 pm

[re=316859]Custerwolf[/re]: The advantage with you is that you rarely need to be asked more than once.

S.Luggo May 14, 2009 at 4:12 pm

[re=316909]Mustang[/re]: Mom departed this earth two weeks before Keith took his “mourning/flu/allergy” leave. They must have kept her in the family fridge until KO could take time off.

irisheyesagain May 14, 2009 at 4:13 pm

I thought everyone realized he took the time off because his mother died. Who is the “source ” for this bullshit story? O’Reilly? Beck?

Mustang May 14, 2009 at 4:16 pm

[re=316928]Custerwolf[/re]: I gotta copyright that before Hallmark rips it off.

krustysfather May 14, 2009 at 4:22 pm

[re=316909]Mustang[/re]: I don’t want KO to calm down. He’s most fun when a fine froth of spittle’s a-flyin’…
I hope he ends up blaming Karl Rove for the story.

Sussemilch May 14, 2009 at 4:24 pm

“And you might have fooled Wonkette, but you didn’t fool my mother.”

Bruno May 14, 2009 at 4:33 pm

Keith, I too mourn your mother’s death. Can you go on attack now to the Dijon Cornell professor please. He deserves a solid kick in the trucknutz

dave666 May 14, 2009 at 4:43 pm

Ben Affleck was the star of Gigli.

Bowdoin May 14, 2009 at 4:53 pm

He ain’t maddow nobody and he denies the aflecion. Case closed.

bitchincamaro May 14, 2009 at 4:54 pm

I like Keith.

I like traffic lights.

Bowdoin May 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm

Wasn’t Afflict the star of that old timey teevee western where the riflers aboard the coach warned his troop, “Aim low, boys, they’re ridin’ shetland ponies!”?

Bowdoin May 14, 2009 at 5:01 pm

A Child’s History of Walk-Offense.

Jack Paar, sometime in the early sixties. They wouldn’t let him do a `water closet’ joke.

Regis Philbrin, sometime after. He began his too-long career as a Ed Backupman to Joey Bishop. Yes, Joey Bishop. And he walked off due to some contrived offense. And Joey Bishop kissed his keester, and the rest is hysteria.

Dan Rather, after that sometime (these dates are not exact). He was miffed his gloriously awesome news broadcast had to wait some seconds for some game to run its course.

It’s exactly like the starlet falling into the pool during a Hollywood party. Usually somebody gets laid, is all, but sometimes there’s a Regis.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 5:06 pm

[re=316982]irisheyesagain[/re]: Mothers are off limits in my book. They are the sacred cow. Well, K-lo’s anyway.

Itsjustme May 14, 2009 at 5:13 pm

[re=316724]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Or the WTF? for the night. Bad Wonkette, no soup for you!

jetjaguar May 14, 2009 at 5:19 pm

anytime I hear of ben aflack, I think of the jimmy kimmel/ben aflack music video, and I chortle softly

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 6:01 pm

[re=317077]Itsjustme[/re]: Hey there’s no such thing as bad publicity amirite?

louisev May 14, 2009 at 7:06 pm

any publicity is good publicity, Wonketteers, lay your bets on Worst Person.

EdFlinstone May 14, 2009 at 7:35 pm

Well Fox and friends has their lead non-story for tommorow.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 7:40 pm

[re=317204]EdFlinstone[/re]: Will Carrie Creamedjeans be guest-hosting?

DoctorCulturae May 14, 2009 at 8:20 pm

[re=317195]louisev[/re]: Nope. Keith’s response will be on ‘WTF!?’

So Mr. Ken, looks like there’s a trip to the woodshed with a handful of switches in our future.

Of course, there are plenty among us who will enjoy this. I call drinking game!

DustBowlBlues May 14, 2009 at 8:22 pm

Wonkette, I mean “our wonkette” shouldn’t get chastised on KO. Those cityfile people, they’re the guilty ones. Besides, I trust wonkettek as my secondary source, only after the CSM. I don’t want to have the editors called lying dickwads on the teevee. Fuck, if I can’t trust Ken, Jim and Sara, who can I–

Oh, shit. I’m really in trouble, aren’t I?

Hart88 May 14, 2009 at 8:23 pm

Snark aside, that’s a pretty dickish move Ken.

Itsjustme May 14, 2009 at 8:35 pm

[re=317135]Custerwolf[/re]: I suppose Carrie Prejean has proven that. Also.

prototype May 14, 2009 at 8:41 pm

Oh dear, now KO is pissed. Will I defend our wonkette at the great orange satan or not?

Itsjustme May 14, 2009 at 8:44 pm

[re=317262]prototype[/re]: This is not going to be pretty!

Itsjustme May 14, 2009 at 8:48 pm

Oh dear, this is going to be a double. Worst person and WTF? Moment.

DustBowlBlues May 14, 2009 at 8:54 pm

Hey–they nailed cityfile insead of wonkette. Whew. I know Ken’s a douche, but he’s our douche, and we’re protective of him.

DoctorCulturae May 14, 2009 at 8:56 pm


rocktonsammy May 14, 2009 at 8:56 pm

No wonder K O’s ratings are tanking, pussy.

DustBowlBlues May 14, 2009 at 8:57 pm

Oh, shit. He nailed Ken, after all. And now I’m officially posting to a “lousy website.” But getting sanctimonious comments about Wanda Sykes is pompous. Maybe now I’ll be on his show.

Itsjustme May 14, 2009 at 8:57 pm

[re=317271]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Spoke too soon!

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 8:59 pm

I just want to know how that interview with the duck went.

RoscoePColtraine May 14, 2009 at 9:00 pm

Having been spanked numerous times, sometimes a little too hard, I recommend a bag of frozen vegetables placed over your bare, red-spanked ass.

Feeling your pain,

DustBowlBlues May 14, 2009 at 9:02 pm

If he’d been saying that on wonkette he could’ve gone ahead and said “fuck.” I guess some of us sort of live-blogged this moment.

I think it’s going to be on Rachel, but I’m recording Grey’s Anatomy for my daughter so it’s nitey-nite for me.

Nedrick May 14, 2009 at 9:03 pm

He misses the goddamn point. How dare you attack My Wonkette!

URFucked May 14, 2009 at 9:07 pm

Wonkette is as pathetic as they come. Who will mourn YOU next week?

wilmydickfit May 14, 2009 at 9:12 pm

Come on… his mother died. I know he is a blow hard, but please.

URFucked May 14, 2009 at 9:13 pm

[re=316864]VeganBolagnaSucks[/re]: And I’m sure that he’s DAMN PROUD of that fact.

prototype May 14, 2009 at 9:14 pm

I kind of like how KO posted a tip jar!

RoscoePColtraine May 14, 2009 at 9:14 pm

I’m just so glad Ms. Cox never lived to see this day.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 9:15 pm

[re=317287]URFucked[/re]: No, they come much more pathetically believe me. For instance, when your mom comes she sounds like a mouse caught in the blades of furnace fan. Not that I would know personally, I actually read that in citylife.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 9:18 pm

[re=317294]Custerwolf[/re]: which is a subsidiary of CityFile.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 9:21 pm

[re=317290]wilmydickfit[/re]: Ah…the voice of reason. You have no place here.

blesscurse May 14, 2009 at 9:25 pm

Had Cityfile bothered to consult KO or the MSNBC publicists, they would have learned the actual chronology of his mother’s death, his illness, and his time off. And maybe something about the funeral and the interment. But of course, Wonkette can now add itself to the likes of Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly, who never let the facts get in the way of a bit of disingenuous smear dressed up as “reporting” or “journalism.” Television personalities are “absent” from television for all sorts of reasons, and sometimes things like deaths in the family or a biopsy are not precisely identified or described in full as the reason. It’s called privacy. And though almost anyone can now be ambushed by one of Fox’s juvenile hacks, and a microphone shoved in his or her face, even “celebrities” are entitled to have a life beyond television.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 9:36 pm

[re=317301]blesscurse[/re]: As an investigative journalist I’m appalled that CityLife did not in fact take the time to find out exactly what stage of decomposition Keith’s mother was in while Ben Affleck was talking to Rachel Maddow.

Ye Olde Fap-Smith May 14, 2009 at 9:42 pm

[re=317310]Custerwolf[/re]: Usually I enjoy your comments, but not tonight. You are on every thread venemously defending Wonkette, even though Wonkette truly was in the wrong. I love this site and spend a lot of time here lurking and laughing. You’re reminding me of a cult follower, perhaps you should try looking at things from a different perspective, but you’ll probably continue to rabidly attack anyone who criticizes this site’s mistake.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 9:53 pm

[re=317313]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: Never take anything – ANYTHING – too seriously, that’s my motto. And since I’m not here to entertain anyone but myself, your combined flattery/chastisement is an understandable but fruitless attempt to get me to quit having fun. Everyone needs to lighten up. KEITH’S MOM DIED. I GET IT. I don’t feel the same way about death as 99.9% of you folks do. That’s your cross to bear. However, if it’ll make you happy, I’ll go kill my own mom.

vkladchik May 14, 2009 at 9:57 pm

you guys are never above contempt. that’s why you guys are the beautiful bottomfeeders you are. look at the ur-bottom feeder, cocks, swimming away, just swimming away as fast as she can, trying to reach the surface of contempt, so she can be above it, and be respectable. with cocks.


Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 10:01 pm

Let me put it this way, I feel VERY bad for Keith because I know it must hurt deeply to have his mom gone. I feel for him, that is the absolute truth. And that is an absolutely SEPERATE issue from all of this other ballyhoo. Where the truth lies in all of that mess is anyone’s guess.

Ye Olde Fap-Smith May 14, 2009 at 10:09 pm

[re=317321]Custerwolf[/re]: awe fuck it, I’ll come back to the darkside, usually I’m cackling at fetus, dead mother jokes, etc etc with the rest of the pack, if not louder. I took a coupla vicodin so I guess KO’s rant got to me, but I’m easily swayed haha! Continue as usual, I blame my moment of maudlin weakness on the painkillers!!

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 10:16 pm

[re=317325]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: Your heart is in the right place, so continue being the imperfect human being you are – anything else is a cover-up.

Wonkoff May 14, 2009 at 10:18 pm

Hah, you publish a story that’s wrong, MSNBC denies it, and you mock them! If there was ever a clearer example of how blogging has utterly killed journalism, I’ve yet to see it.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 10:22 pm

[re=317328]Wonkoff[/re]: You obviously need to get out of your mother’s basement more often.

hobospacejunkie May 14, 2009 at 10:25 pm

[re=317313]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: How exactly was Wonkette in the wrong? For linking to CityFile without doing CityFile’s research for them? Should Wonkette not post links to any news story unless the editors can independently verify the facts themselves? Read the masthead, Wonkette is a DC Gossip site. This was gossip published by another site. Wonkette linked to it. Where’s the crime?

The editors don’t need me to defend them, so I’ll link you to Jim’s comment from another post. It succinctly explains what happened.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 10:25 pm

Ken you do realize from the tenor of these comments that this little fiasco has completely destroyed Wonkette’s reputation as a serious news outlet. We’re fucked.

Ye Olde Fap-Smith May 14, 2009 at 10:31 pm

[re=317331]hobospacejunkie[/re]: You are correct, perhaps it was the alt-txt at the end that I felt was a ‘lil too dickish. This is a DC gossip site and I should not have taken it so seriously. Opiates turn me into a pussy, what can I say?

Jim Newell May 14, 2009 at 10:33 pm

[re=317328]Wonkoff[/re]: Did you see on the show and in the Kos article how he omitted the statement he’d sent us, where he called anyone who linked to this CityFile article “beneath contempt”? He omitted that to make it look like Ken was calling him “self-important” for caring about his mother, when really it was because he had immediately DAMNED US TO HELL for linking to a news report.

But if Keith was able to manipulate you into thinking we made fun of his dead mother, for fun, then I can see how you’re upset.

Bowdoin May 14, 2009 at 10:38 pm

[re=317313]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: Reminds me of the mocking which rode out over the canyon like Rufus Coyote in August of 1969. Some didn’t know if they should laugh and clap about four dead in LA. Is this funny? Is it still us against the pigs and stuff?

Answer came back, no, and the sixties were over.

hobospacejunkie May 14, 2009 at 10:55 pm

[re=317328]Wonkoff[/re]: Ha ha ‘wonkoff.’ I get it. I think. Something about Wonkette wonking off, or wanking off, or something. Comedy genius this oversensitive mama’s boy (wonkoff, not KO) is. And people wonder why liberals are lampooned for lacking a sense of humor.

So let’s recap. Wonkette linked to a gossipy item about KO. Turns out that gossipy item wasn’t true. So Wonkette posted MSNBC’s denial in full. Wonkette also commented upon the final sentence in the denial which seems to imply that anyone who links to any post from anywhere on the web should research that item themselves, independently, before linking to it.

In other words, all blogs should follow the rules of journalism. Which is just silly. Not least because so many journalists obviously fail to do so themselves, but more so because it equates blogging with newsgathering and illustrates quite clearly ‘real’ journalists’ contempt for bloggers, when in fact bloggers are one important leg of the stool upon which the future of journalism uneasily sits. Without bloggers linking to news sites the audience for said news sites and newspapers would without doubt be even smaller.

Blogging is imperfect. Bloggers make mistakes, or in this case accidentally propagate an untruth. But the debate stirred up by good blogging, and the humor engendered by funny blogs like Wonkette, far outweigh the occasional accident like today’s, which has been given far too much attention by KO, who appears to mistakenly believe Wonkette is a news gathering or publishing site, or believes, unrealistically, that Wonkette should act like one. Enforcing this belief, say, by law, would pretty much put bloggers out of business, something butt hurt people who hate blogs might actually wish for. But be careful what you wish for, because in the very near future no blogs = even more quickly diminishing audience for ‘real’ journalism. Don’t bite the hand that propagates you, even if it occassionally errs.

However there is a happy ending in this case, proving once again that there really is no such thing as bad publicity, because all the humorless butt hurt KO fans (I’m a fan, but I’m not butt hurt) will now visit Wonkette, increase Wonkette’s traffic numbers and (we hope) increase Wonkette’s income.

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 11:03 pm

[re=317340]hobospacejunkie[/re]: “Ha ha ‘wonkoff.’ I get it.”

I don’t.

Oh wait – NOW I get it!!!

Custerwolf May 14, 2009 at 11:05 pm

[re=317340]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Okay. So you’re a great fuck AND you’re really smart.

hobospacejunkie May 14, 2009 at 11:27 pm

[re=317345]Custerwolf[/re]: My wife would agree with you, I hope. But even those two attributes, which we’ll consider true for the sake of argument, may not make up for the many horrible and embarrassing parts of my personality which have not aired in discussions here. To name just one, I was a junkie not long ago. Though a 12-stepper might say ‘once a junkie always a junkie.’ Another reason I haven’t involved myself in a 12-step program. Though it would be a helluva lot cheaper than 2 psychiatrists & a therapist & the long list of legal drugs I ingest daily.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I’m smart & great in bed. Well, who would argue with that?

OffTheRecord May 14, 2009 at 11:32 pm

Okay, I stepped away from the internet for a day so let me see if I’ve got this. Wonkette links to Cityfile story. Is not heinously insulting in the retelling, at least by Wonkette standards. Makes the grave mistake of not knowing every fucking detail of Olbermann’s life. And runs a correction when they are notified that the Cityfile story is wrong. Yet we are the ones who are beneath contempt? Perhaps the blame should go on Cityfile? I love Wonkette, but it is, you know, the DC gossip, so maybe people should chill the fuck out? It is not like you ran a story mocking his mother.

dungheap May 15, 2009 at 1:15 am

hobospacejunkie: “And people wonder why liberals are lampooned for lacking a sense of humor.”

Wow …. unconscious much? And nice logic, Confucius.

Seriously though — if your butt hurts, u might wanna give that thumb a rest.

Luuuuv the avy, too! Here kittee, kittee, kittee ….

Suds McKenzie May 15, 2009 at 1:17 am

I was just amazed he worked the days surounding his mothers death. Most working american mortals take the opportunity to take a week off.

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 1:18 am

[re=317404]dungheap[/re]: And you call yourself a dungheap.

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 1:25 am

[re=317406]Custerwolf[/re]: I’m going to bed you guys. Cover me.

hobospacejunkie May 15, 2009 at 1:52 am

[re=317404]dungheap[/re]: Funny how people like you only come out of the woodwork to attack people from the behind the curtain of the internet. You have nothing substantial to add to the discussion, just name-calling and ridicule. I’m sure you’ll disappear now, never to be heard from again, too cowardly to actually get involved and expose yourself a little by trying to show me what problems you have with my argument. This is why people like you don’t ever stick around Wonkette. You can’t handle the give & take that comes with expressing yourself and dealing with the reactions of others. You just hit & run and giggle to yourself about how clever you think you are. Well good for you. You really showed me. And the dig about my cat? What’s that supposed to mean? Show us how cool you are by coming back to explain yourself. Otherwise you’re just another boring coward afraid to engage.

daphne May 15, 2009 at 2:35 am

Humor? Show me the humor in this story. Show me the humor in your coverage of it. Of all the salient remarks in tonight’s WTF segment, the most sharp – and cutting – was to disavow you of the notion that loud, taunting language equals funny. What, because one of the many bogus stereotypes about liberals is we have no sense of humor, I’m supposed to laugh at your distinctly juvenile, not remotely humorous post lest I reinforce the stereotype? And that doesn’t begin to address the issue of truth, which is you were suckered into accepting an entirely bogus report and running with it.

hobospacejunkie May 15, 2009 at 2:45 am

[re=317429]daphne[/re]: If you don’t like it go the fuck away. And I extend that invitation to every butt hurt crybaby who registered only so they can say how awful Wonkette is. Of course Wonkette is awful, that’s kind of the point. So if you don’t like this peculiar brand of awfulness, go the fuck away. No one will care. But if you have half a fucking brain and actually read the fucking posts you will see that Wonkette did nothing unusual, did nothing to ridicule KO’s mother’s death and that misunderstandings created by blog posts are just that, misunderstandings. Perhaps CityFile maliciously intended to smear KO. Wonkette only linked to their story. Then they published MSNBC’s denial. What the fuck else do you want them to do? If you don’t like the humor here, go somewhere else. It’s even easier than changing the channel on a television.

lawrenceofthedesert May 15, 2009 at 2:53 am

[re=317301]blesscurse[/re]: “Even ‘celebrities’ are entitled to have a life beyond television” is not close to being accurate. People who make their living from the public trough pay a price in privacy. The courts have consistently ruled in this matter that the public’s need to know about public figures outweighs much of public figures’ right of privacy, especially in the area of libel and slander. When a regular performer on a network suddenly misses work, it’s news and should be reported; if anyone was remiss, it was the network for not issuing a statement, which led to inaccurate conjecture and humorous and satirical speculation. Olberman’s statement was an attempt to cover for his own flacks’ incompetence. I hope he has learned his lesson and puts out a press release the next time his mother dies.

velvetsmog May 15, 2009 at 2:56 am

Knock knock! Who’s there?


HAHAHAHA. You’re right. You guys are funny.

hobospacejunkie May 15, 2009 at 3:26 am

[re=317437]velvetsmog[/re]: Hey, who let velvet smog in here? The sign clearly says NO CUM-GUZZLING KID-DIDDLING BUTT HURT MULE-FUCKING MIDGET TROLLS ALLOWED. Now lock the door and let’s get out of here.

Ye Olde Fap-Smith May 15, 2009 at 4:05 am

I just woke up from taking the nod. Like I said earlier, I realize this site is DC gossip and since I’m here lurking and laughing daily I fully understand we all have a twisted sense of humor. What I do not understand though is why some people are so vehement in defending this site with cult-like veracity. It’s a bit unnerving to think that being part of the commenterati is such an integral facet of one’s life that one will cut down anyone who come’s here to offer a differing opinion on the KO misreport. I do not claim to have much of a social life myself outside of boozing and pill-popping with an ever shrinking circle of friends, but I don’t understand the viciousness with which some here seem to appear on EVERY thread as if their entire lives revolve around the comments section of Wonkette. Warblog!!11!! Also.

hobospacejunkie May 15, 2009 at 4:37 am

If you want to address your comments to me you can just hit ‘Reply,’ or continue in your passive-aggressive ways.

I’m not defending the cult of Wonkette. I’m annoyed by people swayed by an emotional pseudo-argument that says posting a link to another website, then posting a denial by MSNBC = smearing KO’s mother. If I felt Wonkette was clearly in the wrong I’d have no problem saying so. But that last sentence of the MSNBC denial was just crying out for a reaction because it is simply wrong.

It’s also annoying to have trolls sign up just to express their butt-hurtedness about an issue on which they obviously do not have their facts straight. Contrary to your impression, it is not a matter of opinion. It’s a matter of fact. CityFile may have smeared KO & his mother, but those thinking Wonkette smeared KO & his mother do not have the facts on their side. If that makes me a cult member, you have an odd idea of cults.

I tend to post on Wonkette at night because I sleep all day. So my posts will tend to stack up at the end of threads. If that = my entire life revolves around Wonkette and that unnerves you, well, whatever helps you sleep at night.

One question — how does one appear with viciousness on a thread, this or any other? Regardless, I have made arguments this evening on several threads. I have not set out to cut down anyone unless they attacked me first. I’m a big fan of KO. I watch him every night. I think if people had thought first instead of reacted first this whole thing could’ve been avoided.

Ye Olde Fap-Smith May 15, 2009 at 5:34 am

[re=317444]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: My comments were directed to you among others. Who is the butt hurt one here?? Internets is surrrrrious bidness. I’ve lurked on Wonkette for years and post rarely so I’d hardly consider myself a troll. I have no problem with you and often laugh at your comments, I am just a fan of more than one p.o.v. and the KO defenders are just as entitled to be here as everyone else IMO, and none of us are bringing the funny on this thread. Besides the editors, I don’t think anyone should be able to be the arbiter of taste around here. And I have mixed feelings about KO lately, he DOES seem self-important of late with all the special comments etc, etc. I prefer Maddow’s more nuanced approach to exposing the anusfaces on the right. And has been shown I was initially one of those who reacted emotionally in my pill-addled state but then after examining all the info I agree Cityfile is the culprit and not Wonkette, but it just seems Pavlovian to automatically snarl at fellow libs, from what I deduce most of the people who are taking up for KO are not new, or at least have a good working knowledge of the type of bastards we are who lurk/post here. Sorry if that was pedantic, I can’t really bring the snark howitzer when I’m feasting of benzos and opiates at 5am.

Ye Olde Fap-Smith May 15, 2009 at 5:55 am

[re=317449]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: Fuck I replied to myself, meant to reply to hobo. Time to call it a night haha!

Itsjustme May 15, 2009 at 7:24 am

[re=317418]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I, for one, think the cat rules….

Rary Guppert May 15, 2009 at 9:47 am

i saw keith’s special comment this morning on youtube and went, daaaaaag.

actually, i think eventually KO and Wonkette will end up being the best of friends. till then, hey… you got mentioned on television. surely that ain’t all bad.

El Pinche May 15, 2009 at 9:48 am


knock knock knock, who’s there?

Publicity for both Countdown and Wonkette!!

We’re all winners! Welcome unfunny newcomers with trenchant viewpoints!

djs May 15, 2009 at 10:13 am

To answer your question; yes, it does mean that the ass hole who wrote this article is “beneath contempt”.

El Pinche May 15, 2009 at 10:21 am

Comeon Keith, a 10 minute monologue could have been reduced to a split second containing a classic yo-mama joke and a Fish Called Wanda reference:

Hey kuh kuh kuh Ken, keep my mama out of this, and I’ll keep this (holds crotch) out of yours.

shortsshortsshorts May 15, 2009 at 10:21 am

[re=316753]bored with gravity[/re]: Yes. Let’s sue him.

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 10:26 am

[re=317437]velvetsmog[/re]: Why don’t you head on down to the cemetery and pop open a cold one.

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 10:29 am

[re=317449]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: “but it just seems Pavlovian to automatically snarl at fellow libs.”
Here’s where your confusion lies. I am not a “lib,” and I have no “fellows”. I am not part of any group, my allegiance is to myself and the soil beneath me. That’s it.

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 10:31 am

[re=317429]daphne[/re]: “Show me the humor….”
Daphne, surely a broad even as dim as yourself understands the ridiculousness of that proposition.

El Pinche May 15, 2009 at 11:46 am

[re=317429]daphne[/re]: Why do you hate the Constitution ?

Monkster May 15, 2009 at 12:11 pm

[re=316731]The London Rich[/re]:

Indeed, I am ashamed for you Ken.

RationalMan May 15, 2009 at 1:03 pm

You do raise some valid points of discussion, but they’re mixed in with so much emotional baggage it’s hard to address them. I had viewed Wonkette as a fun, irreverent news-feed, but it is apparently just a gossip site. Unreliable gossip sites are a dime-a-dozen. Defending this demotion of Wonkette doesn’t seem very smart.

The responses by you and some other Wonkette posters suggests a cult following, which is OK, but it limits the potential audience of the site.

“I have not set out to cut down anyone unless they attacked me first.”
Well, whatever helps you sleep at night.

pintoirish May 15, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=317433]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Perhaps CityFile maliciously intended to smear KO. Wonkette only linked to their story.

Did you work for intel during the “yellowcake era”? What a lame defense. Take 5 minutes from your busy, busy day–archiving mama jokes and the like–and check-out the tone of the CityFile site. No fault on Wonkette’s part, huh? I frequently link to star-fucking sites with the fact-checking acumen of Carrie Prejean.

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 1:32 pm

[re=317683]Monkster[/re]: Be ashamed for me too, while you’re at it. I’m sure as hell not gonna waste time on it myself.

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 1:34 pm

[re=317769]pintoirish[/re]: It should be a crime to take yourself so seriously. Lighten up Frances.

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 1:36 pm

[re=317744]RationalMan[/re]: What is your goddmaned obsession with cults??? Fuck you’re annoying.

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 1:39 pm

[re=317744]RationalMan[/re]: “I had viewed Wonkette as a fun, irreverent news-feed, but it is apparently just a gossip site.”

You catch on quick. Which is why it’s not called “Wonkette: The DC fun, Irreverent News-feed.”

RationalMan May 15, 2009 at 2:38 pm

[re=317813]Custerwolf[/re]: My relatively tame remarks provoke such virulent responses. Interesting.

I admit that I was slow to pick up on Wonkette being a gossip site. If you’ve always known Wonkette is a gossip site, why do you come unhinged when I say I’m reaching that same conclusion?

It’s also interesting that you think I have “obsession” with cults, considering that I made exactly one (mild) comment regarding cults, and I was actually responding to hobo’s comments about cults.

Itsjustme May 15, 2009 at 2:50 pm

[re=317744]RationalMan[/re]: “Well, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Loads of sex for me and I am out like a light! Or is it Like the light?

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 4:29 pm

[re=317955]RationalMan[/re]: Oh honey. You have obviously never seen me come unhinged.

Delicious May 15, 2009 at 4:48 pm

[re=317293]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Ana Marie Cox is rolling over in her grave!

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 6:49 pm

[re=317454]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: I enjoyed reading your point of view. Just for the record.

lulzmonger May 15, 2009 at 11:32 pm

Follow-up fail in full effect! “Self-important much?” Well, golly, I’m sure nobody ever notived that about Keith “Stentor” Olbermann until now! Good one!

I come here for the lulz, & this does not disappoint – & this time, Wonkette gets the lead role as the lolcow. That big furry thing that’s attached to your wang? Yeah, that’d be the proverbial pooch. Sorries. Noone is immune, EVAR. Suck it up, kids!

PS: More posts on this, please.

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 11:41 pm

[re=317813]Custerwolf[/re]: I just hope that guy has enough of a sense of humor to at least have laughed when he read “goddmaned.”

Custerwolf May 15, 2009 at 11:42 pm

[re=318424]lulzmonger[/re]: Uh…could you please use that comment in a sentence?

louisev May 16, 2009 at 2:31 am

@Delicious: I think Ana Marie Cox is rolling over in her guest seat on MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow Show.

Custerwolf May 16, 2009 at 10:10 am

[re=318474]louisev[/re]: oooh that sounds magically delicious. I’ll be sure not to miss it. Oh, that’s right, I have no teevee.

Brickem May 27, 2009 at 10:48 pm

Seriously… Some peeps around here need to grow up.

Yeah, I’m cranky! And yes, I think KO has his moments of such behavior; but at least he makes some spiffy arguments. The story implying that KO got huffed off about BA and angry at RM had to come from someone’s posterior area.

SERIOUSLY! I know you can be better than that.

Gwenny August 7, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Folks, my mom died on Wednesday night. I was at work on Thursday morning. I’m at work today. I don’t get paid to stay home and be sad. Must be nice. I’ll cry this weekend.

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