Keith Olbermann Skips Work Because Rachel Maddow Got Ben Affleck

It's time for the TeeVee Personality Newz here at Wonkette! In today's first-and-only edition, Keith Olbermann acts like a jackass! According to New York'sCityFile, MSNBC's "Wost Person in the World" stomped off the job for three nights because his pal and protege Rachel Maddow had movie star/ Web traffic expert Ben Affleck booked for her April 16 show. But Olbermann decided Jennifer Garner's husband needed to be onOlbermann'sApril 16 show. When MSNBC executives refused to grant his wish, Keith stormed away and didn't return to work until three shows later.

During this crisis, David Shuster filled in for Olbermann on theCountdownprogram. And nobody would've ever known or cared about the micro-melodrama, save for Shuster's important "Twitters" during the tragedy, when he sort of let on that Olbermann maybe didn't really have the flu, but Olbermann was still a "great guy."

Now, go look at yourself in the bathroom mirror and repeat after Wonkette: "If I didn't watch cable news, I wouldn't know who the fuck these people even were .... If I didn't watch cable news, I wouldn't know who the fuck these people even were ..... If I didn't watch cable news, I wouldn't know who the fuck these people even were."

 Meltdown with Keith Olbermann [CityFile]