Wonkette
The number one problem facing everyone in the Republican party right now is that they cannot bring themselves to foot the bill for their own clothing, and this ends them up in terrible scrapes. Like Sarah Palin, the amiable Alaskan parasite whose popularity plunged after it turned out the money-soaked Republican National Committee was paying for all her suddenly tasteful clothes.
Now Norm Coleman and his wife find themselves in similarly difficult straits, except worse because the FBI is looking into it, because some guy allegedly bought him a suit and stuff:
The source, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the matter, said the “main topic” of the two agents’ questions surrounded an allegation that Bloomington financier Nasser Kazeminy paid for suits and other items Coleman and his wife shopped for at Neiman-Marcus in Minneapolis.
Jesus Christ people stay away from that Nieman-Marcus place, it is a Republican graveyard of the damned.
This Kazeminy character is also the guy whom lawsuits allege tried to direct $100,000 to Coleman via Laurie Coleman’s employer.
Last semi-humorous comedy note: Laurie Coleman’s lawyer is named “Earl Gray.” Teabagging!
FBI inquiry on Coleman reportedly expanding [Pioneer Press]
All Normie needs is to be caught in a gay tryst with a underaged teenager wearing a diaper for $20 bucks then he’ll have a piece of every GOP scandal for the last 5 years.
Links not working for twincities.com!
You don’t understand. It’s a lot easier to get teabagged when you’re wearing a nice, expensive suit.
I’m really starting to worry what Norm will do for money once his appeals are exhausted sometime around 2015.
It’s not the GOP’s fault! Can’t you see - it’s all a Jewish plot to bring down the Republican Party and establish Socialism! Glenn Beck was right!
Whatever happened to good, Republican cloth coats?
Where is Michele Bachmann when you need her? OK, I will jump in for her, Norm Coleman used to be a hippie democrat, and now he is making the goopers look like shit, what with his worse fake teeth than Joe Biden. Coincidence? I’m just saying.
Is Earl Gray hot?
I ain’t yo bitch, nigga. Buy your own damn clothes.
I’m thinking if Norm got fitted for a nice orange jumpsuit and grew his hair out again, he could have it all: cigarettes, ice creams, escorts through the yard to keep away the shivs…
The kilo of iocaine and powdered baby skulls sewn into the lining of each coat probably didn’t help either.
I was going to suggest that Republicans just go naked, but then I thought, eww.
It was a fursuit, right? Lemme guess, Norm’s fursona is a small, burrowing creature — perhaps a raccoon?
Mahousu: Mine is. I’m enjoying it even as I chuckle at the particulars of good ol’ bumbling Norm’s “Suitgate.”
Two things that make me feel human in the morning: A nice hot cuppa tea and an icy cold splash of Wonkette. I can now face the day.
*shakes his fuzzy little fist at those damned Republican raccoons*
SmutBoffin: I’d say a ferret.
hobospacejunkie: Ha, I made the original into a ringtone.
Norm’s good enough, he’s smart enough, and gosh darnit people buy him stuff.
BillyClubb: I hope you don’t spend too much trying to explain it’s context. Especially to those annoying and clueless do-gooder liberal types.
Nasser Kazeminy? Sounds suspiciously Muslim to me.
Damn, Norm. For $100K you could’ve racked up at the Men’s Wearhouse. I guarantee it!
What, with all these closeted repubs, you’d think these guys would shop for their own, tastefully tailored suits.
Also! Norm refinanced his house 12 times in the last 14 years. Who the hell does that?
The rumor that Sarah and Norm have the same Iranian Me-man Mucus Sugar Daddy has been around for awhile
http://phoenixwoman.wordpress.com/2008/11/06/did-norm-colemans-sugar-daddy-finance-sarah-palins-shopping-spree/
SmutBoffin: Hopefully he took the furry personality test to be sure. And I love the blingee.
And the dumb sumbitch still won’t quit with the courts. He will fight to the last drop of somebody else’s blood as long as he doesn’t have to pay for it himself.
I, for one, do not give a fuck who bought goddamn clothes for the former senator from Minnesota.
momus: Checkers peed on them all.
Judas Peckerwood: Hey! Lets not get personal now! Oh yeah Wonkette, never mind.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Win!
“Jesus Christ people stay away from that Nieman-Marcus place, it is a Republican graveyard of the damned.” The Republican pary IS the party of the damned. I have free sharpened wooden stakes for all.
SmutBoffin: Naked Bunny with a Whip:
Racoons don’t burrow. And leave them out of this. Racoons are decent people.
http://www.twincities.com/ci_12364759?nclick_check=1
I am pretty sure he is a naked mole rat.
Charlie Crist’s personal lawyer must be Orange Pekoe.
Mad Farmer Manifest: Neither do ferrets FWIW. But that bunny (maybe without a whip) would make a nice ferret lunch.
If the GOP wants to appeal to Walmart voters, perhaps they should start purchasing their clothes from Walmart.
Mahousu: Make it so.
Actually, I am a little worried for Norm. He has a Midwest lawyer named Earl? That’s not going to go well.
SORE LOSERMAN !
how quickly they forget …
Racoons are decent people.
Even the Republican ones? Well, at least Republican raccoons are cleaner than Republicans of other species.
a nice ferret lunch.
Eaten by a ferret? Hawt.
ManchuCandidate: I think you need to throw in a bag of meth to make the scandal ensemble complete.
mad props for tha blingee, yo
United States Congress
U.S. Senate
From the desk of U.S. Sen. Arlen Specter, Pennsylvania DEMOCRAT
May 14, 2009
Hey, Arlen here! Just a quick note to say that I’ve always bought all of my own clothes myself–and I’ve paid for all of them from my own pocket!
Now that I’m a Democrat, I find myself shopping at the cooler, hipper stores, like the Gaps, Old Army, and Abernathy and Felcher.
Gotta’ go vote on something!
–Arlen.
ManchuCandidate: Norm’s straight, as far as anyone knows - he’s been known to get blowjobs from women on the corner of 4th and Wabasha in St. Paul from time to time…
momus: Whatever happened to good, Republican cloth coats?
I did a search at niemanmarcus.com, but alas:
We weren’t able to find any results for “cloth coat”.
That wasn’t very promising, but I followed their suggestion and checked out their Burberry collection. And there’s a nice all-cotton piped jacket for only $1,350. So don’t give up hope.
I guess I’m with Kazeminy here. When you pay good money for a Senator, you like to be able to dress them up and pose them. That’s what the ownership society is all about!
ManchuCandidate: Only if he does this in the Larry Craig Loo at MSP.
Monsieur Grumpe: Norm refinanced his house 12 times in the last 14 years. Who the hell does that?
Eh, everybody needs a hobby.
ManchuCandidate:
9 years, even! Trying to get the courts to name him to public office is trademark Gee Dubs wackiness! Ahh…contempt for the will of the voters. GOP, I love you.
momus: These days they’re made in Italy only from the finest Mexican.
Any asswipe who claims that God wants him to be a Senator DESERVES an FBI investigation. I’m just sayin’.
Norm Coleman - hey, wasn’t he behind some sort of airplane crash in 2002? We should ask Wanda Sykes.
If a man is buying another man a suit it tells you something.
It’s kind of like buying silk undies for someone.