Wonkette
Ha ha ha, everyone gets a good laugh when newspaper design people make weird placement choices. Look at the Washington Times here: its website shows a photo of the Obama kids — probably the click-thru is a story about how cute they are! — right above a different article about Chicago children being murdered all the time. WACKY! It looks like the girls’ photo goes with the death story! Good thing that’s not the case at all!
For those of you with poor vision: “ASSOCIATED PRESS PHOTOGRAPHS The Obama daughters (above) - Sasha, 7, and Malia, 10 - attended the private University of Chicago Laboratory Schools. This school year 36 of the city’s school children have been killed.”
Why is Liz Glover doing these terrible things?
The Obama daughters [Washington Times]
the fuck
They also have this tidbit:
Dijon: Spreading appeal of an elitist condiment
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/may/13/dijon-spreading-appeal-of-an-elitist-condiment/
If the Obama girls weren’t so ‘elitist’ they’d get themselves shot as well.
ACK!!!! Strike-thru alert!
Gee, the AP couldn’t find a generic picture of kids? Those billfold & picture frame people don’t seem to have any trouble finding images of generic people. Is this Ron Fournier’s secret death wish for Barry’s daughter’s since he stomped his man Walnuts?
Is that a flute case or where they keep their Chicago gangsta gun? Also, that pink hankie contains pig flu virus.
jesus fucking christ.
Too bad they didn’t have a picture with Michelle in it too — they could’ve tacked it onto the story about how single motherhood is on the rise.
Those sweet girls are totally packing — they learned that from their mom, a true Chicagonian.
Sasha clearly thinks it’s funny that those kids are getting killed.
You don’t suppose readership is in decline due to… i dunno… laziness?
In my neighborhood (specifically Belltown, Seattle) violence is getting stunningly bold. On Saturday evening I saw I guy pull a gun out in front of the bar and run into traffic pointing it at cars. Three hours later on the same corner there was a stabbing incident where the victim and perp fled. An eyewitness pointed out an innocent man standing in the alley. Two deputies in all black yelled at him and he gave chase. After realizing they were law enforcement he stopped. He was blindsided (and this is all on tape) by a cop that barreled him into a concrete wall at full-force shattering his skull and leaving him comatose. He was completely innocent.
Welcome to Belltown! Crack, Heroin and Crystal Meth at BASEMENT prices! If the drug dealers don’t shoot you the cops will crack your skull open…
what a town.
Oh, there’s a whole lotta scum in high places, just raining down on my head all day long.
Boo hoo…
Skanky sooothern lawyers, and them moony timesy editors, in the sinkholes. Oh yeah…
I think there is a country song in there someplace. I will work on it.
Come here a minute: Those sweet innocent children have to be prepared for the sort of reich-wing religiotard ReThuglican bitterz that ‘read’ the Moonie-Tune Nooz…
How about asking Ms. Glover to find space in her paper for a picture of the Rev, Moon with the following caption: Suicide is the fourth cause of death in South Korea. A government report released at the end of 2006 stated that South Korea’s suicide rate was the highest among the members of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development
Kev-O-Tron: How’s the new gig working out?
It doesn’t make sense. What’s the point of this picture/cutline combination?
How about bringing back the whole - “you are an enemy combattant if the president says you are” just long enough to apply it to whatever idiot chose that picture and disappear them into some CIA hole in Latvia.
chascates: Very good, thanks! I have been busting my ass but I’m really enjoying it. Bartending is a fine life. I swear my sex life gets better and I get better looking when I work a bar shift. Given the recent events I just detailed I’m a little nervous about walking home with $200 bucks in cash at 1 AM. I pity the idiot that tries to rob this hobo. I’ll put some stink on ‘em.
Kev-O-Tron: Don’t worry — Richmond VA was like that in the late 80s and it got better after a while. All that had to happen was for Bill Clinton to get elected and put 100,000 more cops on the street. Oh — sorry — guess you’re screwed.
The kids are black. Obviously a life of crime awaits them. Why wait until they actually kill someone to associate them with murder? Makes perfect sense.
That is vile. What a rag.
Kev-O-Tron: That’s why I stick to living and drinking in Tacoma. We can even jaywalk without getting a ticket down here!
Hey, that is one shoestring operation they’ve got over there. I did PR for the military’s part of the inauguration, and they covered NOTHING. I don’t think anybody on their city desk is under 90, and they can’t afford elitist things like “photographers,” or “AP subscriptions.” That was probably the only Chicago schoolkid photo they had.
This could be an attempt to intimidate the President of the United States in a time of war (two wars, in fact).
And the Washington Times is owned by a known cult from a suspiciously foreign land.
I say we torture the Mooney Times editorial staff to find out what they are really up to. It is OK because we who wish to kick some A are very convincingly using the pretext that we are very Concerned About the Safety of our Country from suspicious evil-doers in A Time War. So, we can do anything.
drrty martini: but you’re sentenced to a life in Tacoma!
drrty martini: I heard a bar called The Swiss reopened. Is that true?
Ha. Malia plays the flute. The Obamas ARE Ward and June Cleaver.
I never have read the Washington Times on purpose before, so I scanned it a little, checked out comments from some of the readers. So now I think I understand…..The Washington Times is a newspaper for douchebag rightwing soreheads. Am I close?
Bearbloke: From where I came, it’s a step up. Besides: the bar is set a little lower there, so I can be the smartest and sexiest person in the room. Tacomans make for some hella fun drunks.
But seriously: WTF with the Times? The commenters all sound like they’re trying to impress K-Lo and the picture and caption are so? Not. Appropriate.
Kev-O-Tron: The Swiss reopened during the first Bush administration.
drrty martini: Oh… A friend was raving about it yesterday. I guess he explained that it reopened a long time ago.
entirely unrelated, but is anybody watching the house on cspan right now? this joker ‘todd akin’ (r) {the show me state} is giving an absolutely hysterical historical re-creation of ‘dreaded scientists’ and their findings re: the climate over the last century. the guy is saying ’scientists’ with such disdain you’d think a band of lab-coat clad, bespectacled men and women went straw dogs style on he and his wife. moron.
boinggg: It’s a vanity press funded by Rev. Moon, intended to be a Fox-News-like counterweight to the lib’rul propaganda at the Washinton Post. Nobody buys it other than a few cranks at the Pentagon.
Ha-ha, that reminds me of that weird photo placement of Charlie Crist’s photo next to the Craig’s List ad for an anonymous gay encounter.
Wonkette got the story yet on the sinister mystery pix? Is Wonkette torturing the Washington Times? A skeevey retard Senator says it is OK. What’s the hold up?
thepriceofriceinchina: you misspelled “moran”.
Each time the Times does something insulting, I remember that Moonie made one of the absolute worst “flims” of all time, Inchon, which had the badly miscast Sir Larry Olivier as MacArthur (no, seriously) and cost him some $50 mil to $100 mil and I smile.
sezme: It is not a flute case. It is a portable teleprompter.
shanemacgowan:
Ha Ha WIN!!
This is mere ineptitude. Some ninny did an internal pix search for “Chicago kids,” this came up, he/she hit insert, and voila: a newspaper looks as cogent as Sxephil. I’m sure Our Insider Gal Liz G. will smother this fumblebutt with décolletage.
While surely stunning, the PTSD of Chicago inner-city school children must be nothing compared to Manhattan-ites experienced during n00bma’s Photo-op of Terror. LOW FLYING PLANES PEOPLE!!1!
Sorry, but I won’t even read blog posts about newspapers.
Kev-O-Tron:
I live in Westlake and we have almost no crime. It just looks sketchy at night. But you know what the difference is? LIGHTS. Its bright as shit at nighttime and people are watching…always.
Its crazy the difference a few blocks and a well-lit corridor makes.
Those Moonies…what a bunch of jolly jokers.
JesseJB: Having 9 big dogs and a .44 ruger doesn’t hurt either.
Kev-O-Tron: Belltown is really going to shit. Not that my neighborhood is awesome, but yeah.
JesseJB: Belltown is well-lit. It’s just full to the brim with crack.
Rev. Moon-bat is 89 years old so who’s going to be Kim Moon Il?
Hyung Jin Moon, aged 30, so he’ll be the successor to the True Parents.
Kev-O-Tron: Sounds like NY in the late ’70’s early ’80’s.
I honestly wish the high crime rate would come back. Now my city is filled with yuppies and bistros and no one interesting can afford to live here any more. (well me but I got lucky)
Even the Hells Angels are getting squeezed out. The HQ of the NYC chapter (E 3rd ST) is between the NY Law school annex and some boutique which sells crinoline, lace and velvet.
x111e7thst: I’ve never been there but I subscribe to New York and Time Out New York to see what’s going on. One of the last issues (can’t remember which mag) had a thing about one of their reporters talking to a biker outside that headquarters. He was saying he preferred the criminals to the yuppies that moved in.
Kev-O-Tron: And how about some ‘weird nights ot the bar’ posts at shortsshortsshorts.com?
chascates: I used to live not far from there (111 E 7th St to be precise).
Now I live on Riverside Drive near Columbia U.
Point is yes. Criminals much preferable to yuppies. And they have better music and drugs.Also.
x111e7thst: I once risked life and limb one night at Riverside Park screaming at a junkie who was mistreating a poor little puppy. I thought the guy was going to kill me, but as luck would have it, one of our boys in blue just happened to drive up.
Haha! Black people are violent!
Are the Obama girls just a couple of regular looking joes or what? They never cease to impress me.
Custerwolf: I’m thinking that junkie would have had an unpleasant surprise if he had actually attacked you.
x111e7thst: I appreciate that.
Custerwolf: He meant that the junky would have caught syphilis from beating you to death.
x111e7thst: Seconded.
Look out, those darling children have paper and pencils! Do you have any idea what they can do with those things when they grow up?!??
As annoying as Yuppies can be, the criminals are worse. For starters, the guys that run drug sets as just as business savy as the guy who runs your local WalMart, only they treat their employees even worse. I lived in Newark during the initial stages of gentrification. Believe me, the yuppies were a blessing. If you think the Georgetown set is annoying, drive 170 miles north and spend a day in Camden. It will be an eye-opener.
Bison: And thanks to brucellosis you get your abortions for free. Ya cum-guzzler.
Bison: And for the record, ‘junky’ is what your house looks like - ‘junkie’ is the cunt who lives with you and refuses to clean it.
Custerwolf: and just who got NYPD’s ‘plunger up the ass’ treatment first - you or the bum?
Custerwolf: Ha ha, awesome! A lady living in a trailer with her nine dogs just called my place a pigsty. I love this place.
Bearbloke: The bum got the plunger then Custerwolf took it ass-to-mouth.
Before we skid into the sex ditch again, let me return briefly to the topic …
The Washington Times is being taken over by editors who learned their craft at The Onion.
TeddyS: I think that we can all agree that we’ve exhausted that topic. But let’s hear more about these skid marks you were mentioning.
Bison: I’m no lady fuckface. Now climb back under your rock before I have to send your mom out to get you - and believe me she’ll be pissed since my boyfriend ain’t done ass-fuckin her yet.
Bison: You’re furiously jerking yourself off right now aren’t you? Well, hurry it up so you don’t take up so much room here. Thanks in advance schlongmonger.
TeddyS: No, wait. The Onion is actually funny.
Bearbloke: See what you started?
Custerwolf: Custerwolf: I’ve been lurking here enough to expect more from you. Not your best work. Not by a long shot.
Custerwolf:Where do you find these peopleBison: Don’t put words in my mouth.
Bison: You obviously haven’t been lurking here long enough to know how to work the ‘reply’ button properly.
Custerwolf: Why is that lovely fellow here instead of out stalking one of his ex-wives?
SayItWithWookies: Well, they’re probably unlicensed and if they’ve bit someone it’s a mandatory 10 day holding period at the shelter, so you can understand his loneliness.
Custerwolf: Who brought the troll? Not me!
Bearbloke: No you just brought the plunger. Sometimes that’s all it takes.
Bison: bored now.
Um - so I’m pretty sure the lab schools private, so I’m guessing ZERO kids from the lab school have been shot this year… but hey.
Give the Moonies a break. Whose photo did you expect them run? Those are probably the only black girls they’ve ever photographed.
The article ended with this sp: “Sasha and Malia Obama are highly unlikely to attend a Chicago school for at least four years, but you never know. RFK was assassinated in June.”
womanhattan: great. fucking. screenname.
This was the last sentence of the article: “Sasha and Malia Obama are unlikely attend a school in Chicago for at least four years if not more, but anything could happen in that time. RFK was assassinated in June.”
womanhattan: It was funnier the first time.
Kev-O-Tron: Jesus fucking Christ. My band buddies and I used to go hang out in Belltown after work (KOMO-TV) and sit out on the curb drinking Rainiers until we decided to go check out all the stupid harmless hippie ‘Art” galleries, get some teriaki or go to band practice in Ballard if we felt like it. I once left my ‘66 Chevelle parked overnight near the corner of 4rd and Bell (or somewhere around there), top down, keys in the ignition, and came back the next morning (exceedingly hung over) and drove it slowly home.
My guitar was still in the backseat.
And damn it feels good to be a Gangsta.
Lascauxcaveman: They have caves in Seattle?
hobospacejunkie: Yeah, but Seattle’s got a more liberal display of paintings. And let’s face it, those artists over in Framce were really shitty.
Custerwolf: Sorry France, it appears I was channeling Mushmouth there for a sec.
Um hmm, the implication being that Obama’s kids wouldn’t be exposed to the dangerous public schools because he sends them to private school, so he’s an elitist and BTW, vouchers are a good idea. Typical seize-every-opportunity-to-drive-wingnut-talking-points bs. Obama was a U of C faculty member, so the kids attendance at the Lab School was free or nearly so, and a perk nobody passes up.
Yeah. Clearly a photo of a school in Chicago wouldn’t make any sense.
chascates: “About 70 percent of people who use Grey Poupon use it on things like sandwiches and hot dogs and other simple sandwiches: bologna, ham, turkey, etc.,” Miss Crouch explains.
??? What do the other 30% use it for?
Custerwolf: Umm? I was replying to both of your anemic retorts. Fancy, I know! Got any good recipes to share for the next Anal Chili Cookoff?
Bison: “Anemic retorts?” Yeah, I suppose you’re right, that does sound kinda fancy. I wasn’t actually aware we served those here, but they sure sound delicious and non-irony. As for the Anal Chili Cookoff - it’s actually “annual,” dear, not anal (I know, the mind sees what it wants to see), and although it’s pretty taboo to ask another for their recipe, you seem like a nice enough guy, so here’s a tip: first, you’ll want LOTS of meat (don’t we all) and as you’re taking that slowly in, just relax and open the back of your throat and let it kind of slide past your tonsils. If you do it right, there’s very little gagging.
Anything else you need, just let me know.
“What do the other 30% use it for?”
Things so sinful, so wrong, that to even allude to them here would cause your head TO EXPLODE. Also.
Custerwolf: If that’s how you folks abbreviate “annual” in your parts, I’ll take your word for it. I was giving y’all the benefit of the doubt and assuming it was done intentionally for a few laughs. Intentional or not, at least it injected a little levity into my drives back home to MurderTown.
Bison: “Anal” brings up alot of memories of good times, eh? Well, thanks for sharing. And next time you pass by, please do.
Umm… Can’t we all just get along????
Elm Hugger: Don’t look at me, the buffalo started it.
Those Moonies–they’re such kidders!
What the hell is up with the Times’ freakazoid web site? It’s gotta be one of the worst, most cluttered, most un-user-friendly, most idiotic and most bizarre newspaper web sites on the planet. In other words: it’s awful. Check it out–but don’t stay there too long, you know.
Well, this casts my decision to put Obama on the cover of my “History of Chicago Gangters” in a somewhat negative light. Damn you, Moon!
hobospacejunkie: Not that I know of. This was 20 years ago when I was a rock star.
Rock stars don’t live in caves, silly, they live in Seattle.
Lascauxcaveman: you were a rock star 20 years ago? deaf yet? i played drums 25-30 years ago can’t hear a fuckin’ thing, not so bad (there’s lots i don’t care to hear) but the cicadas in my head drive me nuts!
engulfedinflames: What?
Lascauxcaveman: hhahahhahahhhahahahahhahhahhahahahhah
The 36 must have only been killed by the Secret Service Death Squads providing protective services to the girls
sezme: gangsta gun?
Those kids have access to alien technology from Studio 54. Its a disco death ray of course