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Mark Shurtleff is the Attorney General of Utah. He will challenge Sen. Bob Bennett in the 2010 Republican primary. He Twittered this news last night, mistakenly, and now he looks foolish. “Time to rock and roll!” You just can’t vote for anyone who writes that. “poos showed tim losing.” OMG Twitter. Jesus. [The Hill via Gawker]
2:01 PM
on Wed May 13 2009
By
Jim Newell
2094 Views
Wonkette
Putting the twit in, oh, fuck it.
Poos? Who runs this poos and takes the time to, er, count it? Charmin? Ex-lax?
You just can’t vote for anyone who writes that. “poos showed tim losing.”
True a Republican to look for divinations in his own excrement.
Only twits use twitter! Haw Haw!
(nobody’s made that joke here yet, have they?)
Earlier this week he was caught trying to unring a bell.
Lazy Media: Dang, even lil’ Abner is a quicker wit than I!
I wish Ted Stevens were alive to twit today. RIP.
I’ve been ‘pulling it off’ all morning.
Old GOPers would do well to leave the intertubes alone until they figure ‘em out.
“Poos showed tim losing.”
Yeah, why not try copromancy at this point? It makes as much sense as any other Republican strategy.
WIDTAP: So, right, sort of like the Romans and pecking chickens, except with people and shit. What other ancient Roman customs might Republicans have, I wonder…?
Wingnut fight! Wingnut fight!
The whole Geocities -> blogs -> MySpace -> Twitter progression just demonstrates one overarching principle of the web: There are tremendous amounts of money to be made by making the mechanics of internet discourse stupider.
If anyone has any ideas for more retarded forms of communication (e.g. Twitter but with fart sounds), please let me know, and we’ll throw together a startup.
Doglessliberal: They eat both snails and oysters.
A star is born.
The proving once again that the only thing stupider than the long-standing tradition of politicians pretending not to be interested in running for office is a Utah Republican on Twitter.
twat.
SmutBoffin: Srsly, Web 3.0 is going to be nothing but webcam video. 99 percent of all human communication will consist of “‘Sup, yo?”
Clueless, loudmouth pols vs. Twitter!
Come on Sarah, you can top this.
twink.
SmutBoffin: I think “discourse” is an overstatement, frankly. Twitter and most other internet “commentary” and alleged communication are electronic loggorrhea.
Noodle Salad: What is that “the” floating at the beginning of my comment? I just realized that I made a typo, I’m going to pull it off immediately.
SmutBoffin: Hey, I have an idea for a faster version of Twitter. Instead of actual text, you’re only allowed to twit emoticons (Oh, and LULZ, etc.). It has a ‘Hello Kitty’ appeal. Er, instant winner, yes?
Lazy Media: They like nubile young intern [slave] boys, too.
That was Bill Clinton’s problem. He was always consulting the poos.
But does AG Shirtless have Magic Underpants©?
How many public figures need to go down before people realize Twitter doesn’t really help? Amazing.
He got a shirt on in the picture, but he is Shurtleff; he texted a message, but he was witleff. Which raises the question, “Does Utah really want Sylvester the Cat as their next senator?”
V572625694: Oops, just got a call from an intellectual property attorney. Make that “Mitt Romney® brand™ Magic Underpants”.
SmutBoffin: Whaddya mean, ideas for more retarded forms of communication? You just came up with the best idea ever - Twitter but with fart sounds. Call your attorney, the venture capital should begin pouring in immediately. Worry about monetization later.
I’d vote for a poo-reading AG.
He watches the toilet bowls of the state to predict crime waves — that’s commitment to duty!
Now let’s not all jump on twitter, Wonkette. My hero and idol extraoridinaire Gavin “Gay Buttsecks” Newsome was all about announcing his run for governor to me personally via the twit.
No shurt leff behind? HAHAHAHAHA.
The poos have spoken!
TGY: Holy crap that’s a multimillion dollar in VC funding idea right there. GET ON IT, MAN! I’m a coder, I’ll write it for you in exchange for options.
TEH INTARWEBS WLIL FERE US FORM TEH PORBLEMS OF CONUMIMCATION!
Today we are all poos.
Tell twitter about the bunny farm one last time and then fucking shoot it.
Violenza: When I first heard his name, I thought a guy with a lisp was talking about a guy with no shirt.
TGY: When poos are outlawed, only outlaws will have poos!
So I guess poo is taking Nate Silver’s place? Or is this Nate Silver’s poo? Who’s poo is it anyway? Boo-poo.
Welcome to Twitter, the new social media service that will help you with high blood pressure and obesity. We are the only social media service that has a money back guarantee if for any reason you are intellectually encumbered enough to realize that a response to a “tweet” on your personal mobile cellular device will be seen around the world in seconds. Twitter, the new innovative social networking medium will give you and your “followers” hours of pleasure as they watch you type out intimate messages, without the help of spell check. All hail the new regent of all media, Twitter!
Now we just wait for Rush Limbaugh to mistakenly twat that the GOP is dead.
Also, we got our first Twitter from space today — proving that it only takes 140 characters to make the most exciting trip in the solar system look stupid.
Politicians should be banned from twittering… It makes them all look like fucking morons…. Oh wait…
Pols should be REQUIRED to twitter… is what i meant.
I think he ment to say ‘his boo’ (Lindsey Graham)
Doglessliberal: De consuetudibus non disputandum est.
Schurtleff is a douche. He’s the guy who proposed passing legislation for Utah that would let the LEGISLATURE decide whether a person accused of a crime could APPEAL.
I can only hope a decent Democrat candidate is fielded, because the brainwashed republican ultra-right will definitely bail on Bennett who’s not extreme enough, and there might be a chance of seating a new senator.
One can hope, right?
SmutBoffin: I work in staffing and nobody is hiring so my office is Very Quiet. Thanks for making my officemates wonder if I was choking to death as I tried in vain to stifle the LOLs.
So what does the Gallup Poo say?
… the poos showing tim losing …
Finally, some insight into recent Republican electoral strategy!
No, I just realized I was responding to a text from u. I’m going to pull it off immediately
Shades of Mark Foley.
I haven’t yet read the other comments - if no one has send this, this is why the GOP “owns” the Twitters
Also, “Shurtleff” is shirtless pronounced with a full mouth.
Shithead.
x111e7thst: true enough
rev_matt_y: Hm, it’s a stupid, idiotic idea…but it just might work.
Mormons are allowed to use twitter and say “poos”?
“God will strike thee down thems that use the devils’ txt and speak of fecal plurals.”
Ezekiel 17
OH SHI-
Spelling aside, this guy has no chance of winning in Utah. His reason for running is logical and doesn’t involve god coming to him in a dream with a list of shit to do.
So he’s gonna win in the 100 Acre Woods; big deal. There are much larger, more populous districts to contest.
Fuck!!! Karl told me to use this fucking Twitter all the god-damn time. Motherfuck! That fat fuck better make this right or I’ll blow the whistle on his cock smoking fat ass! I was happy using the god-damn cocksucking telephone!
Hell, I still have colleagues that embarrass themselves on email by accident. Where they should really be embarrassing themselves is on Twitter so my fucking inbox can stay empty for 15 seconds.
Are there any Republicans who know how to use Twitter?
Mr Blifil: Blagovich is twittering?
SmutBoffin: Oh you haven’t seen the webcam “chatrooms” have you?
Idiots can watch other idiots not have anything to say.
Turks and others from somewhat more repressed countries can tell anyone that even looks vaguely female to “show teats” or “show tanga”
Yeah that is where the people too stupid for twitter go.
DoctorCulturae:
http://www.NumberTwo.com
It’s a long way to election day and the poos can still turn.
Also:
Twitter is to politician as Tar pit is to dinosaur.
zenferret:
“Idiots can watch other idiots not have anything to say.”
That’s the corporate motto of Pajamas Media.
Withholding judgment until I see the exit poo…
SmutBoffin @ 2:12 -
“If anyone has any ideas for more retarded forms of communication (e.g. Twitter but with fart sounds), please let me know, and we’ll throw together a startup.”
*ahem*
http://andywibbels.com/2009/04/twitter-your-farts/
Marky was bedazzled and confused by ambition and by the chance to exchange holy scriptures with Congressional pages. Before his declaration, he had failed to achieve mind-meld with the Mormom Elders.
As punishment, he must now associate with Mexicans.
kthxbai…also: In the Bee Hive state, “poos” is Mormon for “his children, sold by him into white slavery”.
Lazy Media: North east Atlanta; ex-reporter. Working on a book about Dillinger?