Hooray, we made a Jonah Goldberg post on The Corner! Time to break out the sparkling cider HMM? Jonah simply does not care for this website’s devastating investigative “reporting” (got an e-mail, determined the source was credible enough and the content was harmless, posted it as gossip — JUST LIKE B. WOODWARD), and says that he DID stand for the President… briefly… barely… shouldn’t even have to stand for that fucking guy… and that the problem was boredom. He went to a black-tie Washington reporters’ banquet but wasn’t expecting to be bored.

Look guys, here’s the fact of the matter: when Jonah Goldberg parks his ass in a chair for the night, he doesn’t take kindly to some Democrat President making him stand up all over again.

Wonkette has some report saying I didn’t stand for Obama when he spoke at the White House Correspondents Dinner. My recollection is this is flatly untrue. I may have been slow to rise since I couldn’t see the president from our table save on a screen on the other side of the room and I may have been quick to sit since my inclination to sustain a standing ovation was less than powerful. And, as for the rest of the “report” I think it’s pissy b.s.

Meanwhile it was just K-Lo who was acting so visibly dissatisfied — Jonah and his buddy Ramesh Ponnuru were playing with the iPhone Fart App and “whispering” among themselves so quietly that, hmm, everyone in their area could easily hear them.

Anyway, this is not true either. I didn’t have my shaking head in my hands. Kathryn did as she was legitimately upset with the course of the evening. Me? I was mostly bored because Sykes wasn’t, you know, funny. To the extent my head was down it was probably because I was looking at my iPhone or leaning in to whisper to Kathryn or Ramesh so as to not bother others at our table.

And that dumb Wonkette should go drink a jug of AIDS.

But enough explaining myself to Wonkette of all places. What I like about this is that the loser doing the “reporting” was so invested in Wanda Sykes to turn violent at what she/he thinks is an affront to Sykes’ dignity. Ah yes, because attention must be paid to her fabulous kidney failure jokes and stirring calls for higher teacher pay! No wonder this sleuth has nothing better to do than report for Wonkette.

Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.

Sometimes angry people use that kicker as the ultimate insult towards us, and they are always lying. What a whiner this guy is. Why did he even bother going if he knew he would turn into a whiny baby after hearing an offensive joke, or a call for a political idea he opposes? What kind of child does he have to be to respond to the vulgar, anti-American Wonkette blog?

Wonkette’s “Reporting” [The Corner]

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  • Ken Layne

    Oh my god Jonah is such a crying baby fag.

  • Custerwolf

    “Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.”

    Sure. Next you’re going to tell us that you didn’t know K-lo had a lap till you found your face buried in it.

  • Custerwolf

    And as far as being “slow to rise” maybe you need to jerk off to better porn.

  • Judas Peckerwood

    Note to Jonah: half-hoisting yourself out of your chair to reach for another stick of butter is NOT the same as standing for the Prez.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=314896]Ken Layne[/re]: Yes. He is a crying baby-eating fag.

  • mdotsota

    Oh man up and grow a pair of TruckNutz already Jonah.

  • Joshua Norton

    “Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.”

    Ha! Can you believe the utter uninformedness? We’ve known Wonkette was a site for at least several hours now. So there!

  • Custerwolf

    [re=314896]Ken Layne[/re]: Ken, I think you’d better call in the Calvary.

  • SmutBoffin

    OMGOMGOMG do you think that Jonah may have read one of my comments? Cuz I really REALLY respect the writing that he does and would like to meet him and the rest of the NRO Krew someday and OMG maybe he could get me an internship or something at the Corner JONAH CALL ME.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=314905]Joshua Norton[/re]: I’ve already fucked it twice.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=314902]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Someone please kick this crying baby-eating fag in the nads.
    So he has something to cry about.

  • kthxbai…also

    HAHAHAH. I like how the tipster is called a “reporter”.

  • A Harlequin Bromance

    Since when does Wonkette “report” news? I thought the “DC Gossip” subheader was a clear indicator of this. Furthermore, I demand a response to this egregious claim from The Corner. Blogwar amyone?

  • southpaw

    “My recollection is this is flatly untrue.”

    Jonah Goldberg and Alberto Gonzales, separated at birth.

    Seriously? Your recollection? This was less than three days ago, Jonah.

  • A Harlequin Bromance

    [re=314904]mdotsota[/re]: or at least borrow them from K-lo.

  • ManchuCandidate

    To be “fair” to Jonah, I didn’t know K-Lo had one either.


    I’m usually on the toilet when I read Jonah’s column and I had a Pavlovian response just now. Ooops.

  • WABishop

    “Pissy b.s.” is something of a mission statement for Wonkette, no?

  • doxastic

    He must not be familiar with Wonkette. Why else would he use the immanently mockable explanation that he was simply “slow to rise?” I bet it’s “just a glandular problem” too.

  • loquaciousmusic

    Mommy! The fat man is mad!

  • Custerwolf

    Okay folks I’m teeveeless and I don’t read anything but Wonkette, so fill me in here (and there, when we have time). Does the person who wrote this –

    “But enough explaining myself to Wonkette of all places. What I like about this is that the loser doing the “reporting” was so invested in Wanda Sykes to turn violent at what she/he thinks is an affront to Sykes’ dignity.”

    actually make a living at writing? It’s a serious question.

  • The Cold Sea

    Jonah, Jonah, Jonah. Didn’t even know Wonkette was still a site. Google Reader stats, or as we say in the sporting world, SCOREBOARD MOTHERFUCKER! The Corner: 4,778 subscribers. Wonkette: 10,650 subscribers. Jonah why don’t you and K-Lo get gay married and go to honey your moons at a Mexican Pig farm.

  • Skwerl Nutz

    Is Brian Lamb to interview Jonah Golddouche?

  • Harvey Birdman

    This is really just delightful.

  • tunamelt

    This is such a passive-aggressive way to respond—“here’s why you’re wrong, and yenno what, I don’t even care about you so I don’t know why I’m responding.”

    Okay, douchebag.

  • lmj

    One would think that the fate of Denby would be warning enough for these people.
    Whatever happens… it is on their heads now.
    They were warned.

  • Custerwolf

    Jonah, you ignorant slut.

  • loquaciousmusic

    I’d hit that.

    With a two-by-four.

  • Custerwolf

    The WHCD was a complete disappointment to Jonah because, after all, he’d only attended the event in order to hear Sykes’ latest comedy routine. And since she wasn’t nearly funny enough his whole night was ruined. The end.

  • A Harlequin Bromance
  • whiskey tango foxtrot

    Why did he even bother going if he knew he would turn into a whiny baby after hearing an offensive joke, or a call for a political idea he opposes?

    oh oh i know this one! *gesticulating wildly* It’s an ego thing!

  • LittlePig

    [re=314919]WABishop[/re]: “Pissy B.S.” is also the mission statement of the National Review.

  • lmj

    Could be the weight factor. Some kind of physics thing: mass time acceleration in functional relationship with time to get yer butt up out of the seat if you are a super lard-ass, or something. I studied stuff like this in school, but forgot it all, so somebody should do it for me.

    I suggest the worthless tween sex gossip rag Wonkette show them who is who by conducting a scientidic study, with numbers, to determine whether the slowness of ass-upness for the Prez was due solely to sorry-ass obesity, and boredom factor. Or, was there a RESIDUAL, the indicates something else, that something which could be imputed to a serious bad ‘tude on somebody’s part.

  • magic titty

    Haha. Why does he keep saying, reporter, as if Wonkette sent the fucking person in there with a press pass or some shit. Ignorant slob.

  • ragecupcake

    Forever the idiot, Jonah.

  • chascates

    Jonah, I hope for the sake of the nation you haven’t been doing the nasty with that disgustingly obese hair pile.

  • bfstevie

    So is pissy the new snarky?

  • kthxbai…also

    [re=314933]loquaciousmusic[/re]: zing!

  • Noonan

    I just spent an hour and a half drinking with “colleagues” only to return to this news. Let me tell you, it makes me very laughterful.

  • jfruh

    Seriously, though, do we actually have to stand up when the president comes into the room like he’s some kind of quasi-divine priest-king? How long has that been going on? I would resent having to stand up for Barry O and I like the guy.

  • lmj

    The real issue here is who in their right mind would take the idiotic and generally gross press dinner thing seriously enough to even resond? That is a very lame thing to do, and indicates lack of ‘soundness’, and seriousity, in general.

    So, yes, I do question the judgment of the distinguished NRO editor!

    Also, he took a Wonkette post seriously. That is another strike against him.

    Sometimes parts of Wonkette posts are indeed serious, but the editor always provides a warning to the readers in order to flag the offending paragraph (I alwasy skip them, and take this opportunity to thank Wonkette for its courtesy and thoughtfulness). No such warning was provided for the Wonkette post in question. Case closed.

  • imissopus

    Oh how I wish the Corner had comments so I could go over there and piss all over this poor fat crybaby.

  • Noonan

    Also, if J-Glo had any nuts our fancy Wonkette sleuth could have even kicked, he would allow comments on his “weblog”.

  • IceCreamEmpress

    Ah yes, because attention must be paid to her fabulous kidney failure jokes and stirring calls for higher teacher pay!

    Oh, honey, you don’t want us to be paying attention to YOUR hilarious comedy routines, do you? Because you’re not going to like it when we do that. Don’t forget the “THE ONLY REASON MUSSOLINI GOT CALLED A FASCIST IS BECAUSE LEFTIES ARE MEAN” laugh-riot. Oh, my sides.

  • charlesdegoal

    Can we change the subject? Is anyone still interested in this clown?

  • ragecupcake

    so, wait.
    wonkette posts that this guy is a fatass notalent. he doesn’t argue.
    wonkette posts that he is-horrors!-doing the nasty with K Lo, he’s fine with that.
    wonkette posts nasty pictures of them morphed into one evul being, he’s happy,
    it’s just when wonkette suggests he can’t lift his weight out of a chair he’s bothered?
    does that mean the rest is unarguably true?

  • boinggg

    Well, Jonah! You’re a fucking masochist, aren’t you? And now you’re hooked on Wonkette. You’re right where you belong.

  • Cicada

    Jonah, Jonah, Jonah. You just don’t get it, do you?

    *shakes head sadly*

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    “But enough explaining myself to Wonkette of all places.” Then why is he? Maybe he thought/hoped(?) his mommy would spank him if he didn’t show good manners??

  • x111e7thst

    [re=314950]imissopus[/re]:I’m guessing that’s why they don’t .
    Though Jonah looks kind of like he might pay to have you piss on him.

  • chascates

    Join Jonah & K. Lo on a National Review Mediterranean Cruise!

    While the two love hippos sun themselves thrill to the pronouncements of Dick Morris, Karl Rove, Tony Blankley, Cal Thomas, and that fucking Indian guy (Ramesh Bonnaroo?). Be careful though, as this ship may travel through the ‘Greek’ isles!

  • IceCreamEmpress

    Maybe he thought/hoped(?) his mommy would spank him if he didn’t show good manners??

    You are forgetting who his mommy is. Good manners would burst into flames if they came anywhere near her, just like Bibles and Satan.

  • sati demise

    [re=314957]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Wonkette is a place?
    where is it and how do you get there?

    and yea, Jonah is a crying fag baby.

  • ragecupcake

    [re=314960]chascates[/re]: oh my god! the cruise of doom!

  • assistant/atlas

    “Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.”

    Frankly, you are a lying asshat. It took me about 10 seconds to find numerous references to Wonkette in your “writing”, a number of which were quite recent.

    Seriously, just because you mouth-breathing, bible-thumping, hypocritical plutocrat apologists are too retarded to work the innertubes and refuse to acknowledge how wrong you are, constantly, about everything, even when we have video, does not mean that the rest of us have IQs lower than Cheney’s approval rating and will swallow it. That’s what the 20%ers are for.

    Of course, it’s hard to stay mad at people who are obviously physically deformed.

  • IceCreamEmpress

    [re=314960]chascates[/re]: National Review Mediterranean Cruise!

    Okay, who knows any Somali pirates?

  • imissopus

    [re=314960]chascates[/re]: Must be on a Nimitz-class carrier, as a flight deck would be the only ship deck on the planet with room for both Jonah and K-Lo to lay out.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=314960]chascates[/re]: Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ, Pete du Pont, K-Lo, and Jonah on the same cruise? Somehow they’ll fit in a lecture about how credit cards will resurrect the nation’s economy just like they did Delaware’s back in 1988… which was great for abt 15 years until the big card banks got eaten up by bigger banks and pulled out of the state. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.

  • lmj

    In response to commenter above about having to stand for whatever goof-ass who is currently the Prezidentator: No, I do not believe one is required to stand up on one’s hind legs. The military is required to do that because of serious commander-in-chief boss-man issues.

    But, the press is stupid and they do stupid things, and the dinner is stupid. Thus: stupidity ensues.

  • Tommmcatt


    I’d call them, but there’s no profit in hijacking failure and despair…

  • Custerwolf

    [re=314970]lmj[/re]: Weren’t invited, eh?

  • El Pinche


    I’m going to H-E-B tonight to buy a Holy Saint of Iceberg candle, and light that bitch up tonight.

  • wickedlittledoll

    Jonah Goldberg, the name sounds dare I say, Jewish. Gasp!

  • Bearbloke

    [re=314955]boinggg[/re]: Does that mean he too is wearing a HUGE Black dildo and another latex suit under the one he’s wearing in the picture?

  • imissopus

    [re=314970]lmj[/re]: No, it’s tradition for even civilians to stand when the Prez enters a room, particularly at a formal event. So you = FAIL.

  • lmj

    This particular issue fascinates me. I guess because my mind is going.

    The real scandal here is that JG was bored at a very distinguished and very stupid and very corrupt and asinine press function, AKA, the crappy annual press humor dinner, or whatever it is called. And this Goldberg guy was bored.

    That is insulting to the press, and hurting of their feelings.

    I ask you all, what if a liberal journalist had insulted the WH press corps so. Huh? What would have happened then.

    This should be a major press/NRO scandal that occupies that press for days, weeks, nay, even years. And that puerile gossip rag Wonkette, with its evil snark, is the unlikely spunky little hero, what with its original, undercover, investigative reporting. Right?

  • Holding Out for a Hero

    Do we need to prepare for an invasion of right wing flying monkeys or will they lurk and cry into their pillows because they’re not the cool kids of teh internets?

  • Jobu-ty

    Isn’t this the genius who wrote that since Hitler was a vegetarian, and most American vegetarians are liberals, American liberals are like Hitler?

    Jonah Goldberg. Rush. Glenn Beck. Michael Steele. Ann Coulter. Billo. It’s becoming WAY TOO EASY!

  • Crow T. Robot

    One thing I love about Goldberg is you can often get a response–he’s starved for attention, even negative attention.

    Just Sayin’

  • Joshua Norton

    “K-Lo, and Jonah on the same cruise?”

    Yes, but passenger safety requires they stay on opposite sides of the ship at all times. Otherwise it tends to, you know, tip over.

  • rachelv


    This is a fact: only lie-tellers use words like “recollection.” We’ve known this since Watergate at least.

  • WABishop

    [re=314937]LittlePig[/re]: It may be pissy b.s., but it’s OUR pissy b.s.!

  • ExecutorElassus

    Can someone with some M.U.G.E.N. skills make a K-Lo/J-Glo fighting duo, and feed them into the requisite game/YouTubes? Because I really want to see them getting the shit kicked out of them by the Donald/Col. Sanders duo, wielding hamburgers and giant chicken wings.

    Ran Ran Ruu!!, etc.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=314982]lmj[/re]: You need to drink more.

  • Dave J.

    “Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.”

    “Honestly, honey, I don’t know how showed up in my browser history, seriously. I don’t even know what that MEANS.”

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=314962]IceCreamEmpress[/re]: I do remember who his momma is & on second thought, you’re right. Lucianne sure burped out a winner just like herself!

  • sati demise

    [re=314965]assistant/atlas[/re]: Oh!

    so Jonah is a fag baby LIAR?

  • Custerwolf

    [re=314991]rachelv[/re]: That’s right because recollection is a subjective phenomenon. If you recollect something wrong, you’re simply absent-minded not a dog-fucking liar.

  • hoosiermama

    Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.

    Ho, SNAP! J-Glo totally pwnd you! Or, Cheney pwnd J-Glo when he totally said that to Colin Powell first– about being a website that he had not been aware of until a few moments ago. Yeah, I think that’s it.

    I liked my Hunter S. Thompson reference from last night, better.

  • RationalMan

    “My recollection is…”
    Translation: Just in case I get caught lying about this…

  • OffTheRecord

    [re=314933]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Which would promptly snap in two from the sheer force of coming in contact with Jonah’s lard ass. May I suggest a steel beam instead?

  • chascates
  • Mad Farmer Manifest

    Stop. Stop, all of you. He likes the abuse. Think about it. Our verbal beatings make his tiny, syphilitic peen hard (sorta, lots of cholesterol for that blood to work through). The point is the Jonah is fapping to this page RIGHT NOW. Do you really want to be getting that… thing off? Say nice things! Quickly! It’ll be a boner-shrinker for him.

    (throws up a little in mouth)

  • loquaciousmusic

    Jonah Goldberg is the future of the Republican party.

    Or did he eat the Republican party?

    I can never remember which one it is.

  • loquaciousmusic

    I just received a “tip” that someone overheard Jonah’s conversation with K Lo. It went something like this:

    JONAH: Hey, Katherine, why is our waiter on stage?
    KATHRYN: Um, Jonah, that’s the President of the United States.
    JONAH: You’re kidding! Make him get me a martini.

  • Uncle Sam

    All us commie libz should just re-watch that part in the West Wing where the blond bitch doesn’t stand up for the POTUS, then beat off when M. Sheen bitch slaps her with the bible.

  • Crank Tango

    too bad for you mr greaseberg, a wonkette operative will be watching you every time you crawl out from under the trash in the krispy kreme dumpster where you live. Henceforth, every time you neglect to pry your fat ass out of a chair out of respect for our president, the intertubes will know of it, and you shall be mocked mercilessly, just like every other time in your life when the cool kids got together.
    Also, there are people jizzing in your food besides the ones jizzing all over your face. I’d stop eating out if I were you. Also.

  • 4tehlulz


    /college republican

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=315008]loquaciousmusic[/re]: There aren’t any Republicans left to eat, but if there are, surely Goldberg will pounce on the opportunity.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=314994]Custerwolf[/re]:We all need to drink more.

    [re=314980]Bearbloke[/re]: Look in his eyes and I think you will agree that this guy is into creambaths (or at least cream facials) not latex.

    the huge dildo maybe. but I’m betting his is condom free

  • Servo

    Jeez! You’d think Wonkette snapped his bra.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=315011]Crank Tango[/re]: “besides the ones jizzing all over your face”
    you got there first

  • iolanthe

    [re=314996]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Ooo, yeah! I just read up on Jonah’s Mommy, Lucianne Goldberg.

    You can, too:

    Here’s her deathless blog:

    She even has a snarky anti-empathy cartoon today. Kle-vurrrrr ….

    And here’s an ancient blog post in which she gushes over Cheney (long page; search for “Lucianne”. There’s a pic, too, which is a win.)

    Lucianne on Dick:

    “Dick Cheney, the Uber Daddy: Maybe it’s the sly, knowing smile that hides a teamster’s vocabulary that makes this man so macho. To me he is the essence of cool. I cannot imagine him raising his voice, getting flustered, angry, or non-plussed (even when someone runs in front of his shotgun). He is the kind of man you call if you are picked up for speeding and need bail. If you are sick as a dog or can’t get home or find yourself alone in the last grinding pangs of labor you call a Cheney kind of guy. When every other authority figure tells you “no,” Dick Cheney, because you are a woman and he seems to like them, would tell you “yes.” I always liked him, but two incidents sealed the deal. I was first introduced to him at a reception and, even though he didn’t know me, he leaned over and kissed me. Right then I was hooked. But, when it was suggested to him that a certain arrogant New York Times reporter was, in so many words, a fool, and he responded, “Big time!” I was cooked.”

    So being a sycophant with bad taste in people and politics really runs in the family.

  • Gopherit

    But he has heard of you. I never heard of his elephantine ass until i came here.

  • dijetlo

    Frankly, I didn’t know that national review was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.

    I thought they all moved to France when we tossed most of the Republicans out of the Congress and elected Nobama.

  • WadISay

    Jonah, if you are reading this, eat a massive bag of flaming dicks. Kthxbi.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315011]Crank Tango[/re]: As an outdoor wonkette operative I’ve caught a couple of juicy scoops myself.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315027]Custerwolf[/re]: I don’t think I have to tell you which of those two guys I actually fuck.

  • sanantonerose

    Ohhhhh that picture. Is it Harry Knowles under there?

  • sanantonerose

    Haha. Got him to acknowledge your existence AND refute you. Way to go, Wonkette!

  • Autochthon

    Wow. I guess the fat lady *DOES* sing. Shrilly, but still…

  • Bearbloke

    [re=315027]Custerwolf[/re]: good gawd – where is that foto from?

  • x111e7thst

    [re=315034]sanantonerose[/re]: Either he thinks all “ink” is good. Or he enjoys the abuse.
    I think you can guess what the Wonkette majority opinion on that subject is

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315039]Bearbloke[/re]: Right up the highway (pun NOT intended). Believe me, he’s much cuter from the front.

  • Tra

    What I like about this is that the loser doing the “reporting” was so invested in Wanda Sykes to turn violent at what she/he thinks is an affront to Sykes’ dignity.

    Gaze upon Jonah’s deathless prose, ye mortals, and despair.

  • chascates

    [re=315042]Custerwolf[/re]: You mean you live where you can jerk a salmon (or is it a steelhead) right out of a crick!!?!! I’m jealous. Got apple/pear trees?

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315049]chascates[/re]: Steelhead. It’s not actually the river we live on, it’s about 1-1/2 miles from here (Skykomish river). We have apple and plum trees.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315049]chascates[/re]: Actually, Joe’s buddy is only cleaning the fish. They caught it going down the river in the driftboat. Joe’s the only one with balls (in fact, you may be able to see them) to take a boat down that particular stretch, so the fishing’s always pretty good for him.

  • Autochthon

    I thought I recollected this usage correctly. Per the Oxford English Dictionary:

    jonah (v. trans.) to bring ill luck to; e.g., 1887 BLACK, “Sabina Zembra,” p. 282, “I seem to Jonah everything I touch.”; 1897 R. KIPLING, “Captains Courageous,” p. 97, “A Jonah’s anything that spoils the luck…”

  • Red Zeppelin

    Question: Do Jonah and J-Lo change each others’ adult diapers? If not, then, who does? Just interested here.

  • EggplantParm


  • Que miras, cabron!

    Is it really necessary to remind us that Jonah is the bottom and K-Lo is the top?

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315058]Red Zeppelin[/re]: Depends.
    You were expecting Luvs?

  • gjdodger

    “…and furthermore, my tits are bigger than Liz Fucking Glover’s, and your so-called reporter didn’t even mention it! Sob…”

  • Servo

    Depends are too small. They use mattress pads.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315071]Servo[/re]: Oh SHEET!

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315049]chascates[/re]: This is actually how it’s done.

    Looks like fun, eh? It is.

  • chascates

    [re=315096]Custerwolf[/re]: That looks like a pretty nice way to spend some time. And the prospect of some smoked fish is pretty appealing.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315105]chascates[/re]: It’s a toss up between the fragrance of a fish in the smoker or the smell of a fresh caught seared filet. Joe always give thanks to Mr.Fish for providing his deliciousness.

  • blogslut

    Poor Jonah. His momma neglected to teach him public behavior vs. bubble-boy douche behavior. How many times did Mr. Man bemoan the “disrespect” of the left towards his cosmic cowboy hero? I grow weary of wingnut hypocrisy. Too bad, that’s all they got.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315112]blogslut[/re]: Love your user name.

  • daphne

    There is a bigger insult than “never heard of them” or “didn’t know they still existed,” and Jonah used it: I was bored. Think about it, there is no greater dismissal.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315114]daphne[/re]: I disagree entirely. If you know how to engage with life you will never be bored. Boredom is simply the by-product a dull, distracted mind.


    This Jonah is the Whale character is just too pathetic on so many ‘banes.

    But when I see the phrase “pissy b.s.” my mind reels at the possibilities…

    German porn?

  • jagorev

    Ha ha, Fark picked up the original post:

    Now Jonah Goldberg is ruined, RUINED I say

  • iolanthe

    [re=315118]Custerwolf[/re]: As my Mommy used to say, “Only boring people are bored. Smart people can always find something interesting about any situation.”

  • glamourdammerung

    “My recollection is this is flatly untrue” means “I am full of it, but not sure if anyone has film showing that I am a liar”, right?

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315143]iolanthe[/re]: You’re Mommy is very wise.

  • AKAM80TheWolf


    Were you stalking them from a distance?

  • El Pinche

    No one loves Jonah. 320 lbs of swamp ass and K-Lo’s scrot-like giant flaccid labia tickling his tongue does not count as love in any universe or dimension.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315164]AKAM80TheWolf[/re]: Of course I was.

  • PsycGirl

    [re=315143]iolanthe[/re]: Jeez, you must be my husband’s long-lost sister. Can you babysit on Saturday?

  • iburl

    “Still Around”

    Yes, blogs and websites have much lower costs associated with them than ye olde Reading-paper offices do. I expect Wonkette to be blogging about Jonah’s demise one day, long, long from today…. unless Barack IS the Anti-Christ, then, of course the laugh will be on all of us. Jonah will be seated at the right-hand of the son and we will be chugging Cheney juice in the abyss.

  • PsycGirl

    I may have been slow to rise since I couldn’t see the president from our table
    Hmm, this brings to mind the common childhood defense when accused of running on the pool deck or in the parking lot “Well, I wasn’t really RUNNING…”

  • joezoo

    “Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.”

    Yeah, Jonah stopped reading when it wasn’t about buttsecks anymore.

  • iolanthe

    [re=315175]El Pinche[/re]: Jonah turns out to be married, to some conservative (Jessica Gavora, formerly John Ashcroft’s speechwriter). They have even spawned one daughter.

    But you’re still probably right. Apparently, every conservative doughboy (and I don’t mean WWI soldier) is assigned a suitable conservative wife/beard some time around his 30th birthday.

  • iolanthe

    As for the “boredom” defense, I know several folks who claim to be “bored” whenever they are either threatened or angry or just do not feel like dealing with a situation. It’s a nice way to be in a complete tizzy while maintaining a poker face.

  • iolanthe

    Best quote from Jonah Goldberg’s Wikipedia entry, reminiscing about the fun times when his Mom helped Linda Tripp betray Monica Lewinsky:

    “I did my bit in the trenches of Clinton’s trousers.”

    Wow. Just wow.

  • Marlowe

    “To the extent my head was down it was probably because I was looking at my iPhone or leaning in to whisper to Kathryn or Ramesh so as to not bother others at our table.”

    Yeah, right wanker!
    Jonah the Onan.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    It is very interesting that Jonah doesn’t actually deny the report. You would think he would say “I stood. I don’t know what your reporter was watching, but I stood. And then I wept, for indeed, I finally knew meaning in my life.” Then again….

    [re=314913]southpaw[/re]:Hey, if you ended up banging K-Lo later that night, wouldn’t your memory be hazy? Although it is kind of mean of him to say that he was “slow to rise.”

    [re=314960]chascates[/re]: Can you say Golgafrincham B-Ark?

    [re=314963]sati demise[/re]: Wonkette is a state of mind.

    [re=315060]EggplantParm[/re]: We never asked to be a war blog. It was history that demanded that we are a war blog.

    Plus, as J-Go would tell you, all libtards are really fascist under all the pot and daisies anyway, so if war it is, war it must be!

  • DanJoaquinOz

    So, a Spider-pig, a Spider-sow and a Cockroach walk into a bar…

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=315247]iolanthe[/re]: For whatever it’s worth, Doughboy’s wife is 6 years older than him. Perhaps he married his mommy, so to speak.

  • zhubajie

    [re=314967]imissopus[/re]: Don’t you think it would be fun to shoot them off the cats?

    Zhu Bajie

  • cal

    More annoying of Jonah Goldberg, please!

    We need spy reports of everything he does!

    I love how pissy he gets.

  • Suds McKenzie

    meh, the last thing anyone is thinking about in the “heart land”, is … did anyone notice if dueche mcgoo got off his seat. … meh

  • bago

    When will conservatives realize they can’t just lie about everything because they have a trust fund rag?

    Never, I hope.

  • tubbs the clown

    Dear Wonkette,

    I have created a “user account” for the sole purpose of suggesting an alternate image for Jonah related posts. I found it on the google and lol’d. I hope you feel the same. Kisses,

  • proudcitizen

    [re=314960]chascates[/re]: If ever a ship needed to hit an iceberg…

  • El Pinche

    [re=315305]tubbs the clown[/re]: You have my vote….NOT THAT DEMOCRACY EXISTS IN A COMMNUISTIC WARBLOG LIKE WONKETT.

  • Mr Blifil

    So he used to know Wonkette was a website, but…he forgot? This means Jonah is obsessed with assfucking jokes.

  • thefrontpage

    Who in the holy hell is Jonash Goldbergman, and why the hell does anyone care? What an asswipe.

    Really–who is this guy? Several of us seriously have no idea who the hell he is.

  • thefrontpage

    For that matter–what the hell is the web version of “The Corner?” We know “The Corner” as a fine cable television program from our friend Dave Simon. Couldn’t this moron Goldbergman come up with a better title for whatever it is he’s doing? Now he’s up to about 10 strikes, all around. What an idiot.

  • zenferret

    [re=314916]ManchuCandidate[/re]: So it does count as a lap even if the belly covers the knees?

  • TGY

    Wonkette is a site?

  • zenferret

    [re=314970]lmj[/re]: There is a web page on this. Gotta loves the internets.

    I think it applies to those you like and those you hate. Whether they were actually elected or not.

    Whether your butt is fat or bony.

    Betcha though if you’re in a wheelchair the secret service won’t shoot you.

  • sidkrofft

    i find it hi-fuckin-larious when, as some humaniod named “jerry taylor” is doing now, decides to post something on the corner about how rush and sean aren’t really fantastic spokespeople for the right. then that lopez thing crawls out from under her bridge and gobbles down the souls of those who don’t embody slobbering agreement. that englishman who contributes made the same mistake a few months ago. they made him into blood pudding. seriously, they think if they keep yelling loud enough, people will stop leaving their party.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=315406]TGY[/re]: I thought I was on craigslist.

  • AlexisHidell

    [re=315367]thefrontpage[/re]: When I was growing up, “The Corner” was the spot downtown near the Rec Center where grizzled old crack whores hung out all day. Thus, I find the name to be quite apt.

  • snideinplainsight

    I don’t really believe Mr. Goldberg has any actual physical corner, or if he did that he would even dare to sit at it very often (on account of harpooning), or that even if he did, he would have friends that would sit with him there and talk with him. Am I being too unkind here? What is this guy’s address, actually?

    Maybe he could invite Michael Steele to sit out on his corner with him, and call him Baby once or twice.

  • hillary1

    “Several of us seriously have no idea who the hell he is.”

    He’s a never ending source of amusement who thinks no one will notice that the GOP has racist policies if they hire an Hispanic to parrot them.

  • MarSF

    Yes, This “Corner” has no comments and it is obvious why they don’t allow them. The fat fuck and his repellant colleagues can’t handle the truth.

  • dkissam

    Someone really needs to put together a “Lowered Expectations” video for these two.

  • bobwurst

    OMG, I just followed the link to the orginal story and Goldberg looks the dad from “Family Guy” in the episode where he pretended to be a hippie

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