ROWR  5:54 pm May 12, 2009

UPDATE: Jonah Goes Nuts Over WHCD Report

by Jim Newell

Hooray, we made a Jonah Goldberg post on The Corner! Time to break out the sparkling cider HMM? Jonah simply does not care for this website’s devastating investigative “reporting” (got an e-mail, determined the source was credible enough and the content was harmless, posted it as gossip — JUST LIKE B. WOODWARD), and says that he DID stand for the President… briefly… barely… shouldn’t even have to stand for that fucking guy… and that the problem was boredom. He went to a black-tie Washington reporters’ banquet but wasn’t expecting to be bored.

Look guys, here’s the fact of the matter: when Jonah Goldberg parks his ass in a chair for the night, he doesn’t take kindly to some Democrat President making him stand up all over again.

Wonkette has some report saying I didn’t stand for Obama when he spoke at the White House Correspondents Dinner. My recollection is this is flatly untrue. I may have been slow to rise since I couldn’t see the president from our table save on a screen on the other side of the room and I may have been quick to sit since my inclination to sustain a standing ovation was less than powerful. And, as for the rest of the “report” I think it’s pissy b.s.

Meanwhile it was just K-Lo who was acting so visibly dissatisfied — Jonah and his buddy Ramesh Ponnuru were playing with the iPhone Fart App and “whispering” among themselves so quietly that, hmm, everyone in their area could easily hear them.

Anyway, this is not true either. I didn’t have my shaking head in my hands. Kathryn did as she was legitimately upset with the course of the evening. Me? I was mostly bored because Sykes wasn’t, you know, funny. To the extent my head was down it was probably because I was looking at my iPhone or leaning in to whisper to Kathryn or Ramesh so as to not bother others at our table.

And that dumb Wonkette should go drink a jug of AIDS.

But enough explaining myself to Wonkette of all places. What I like about this is that the loser doing the “reporting” was so invested in Wanda Sykes to turn violent at what she/he thinks is an affront to Sykes’ dignity. Ah yes, because attention must be paid to her fabulous kidney failure jokes and stirring calls for higher teacher pay! No wonder this sleuth has nothing better to do than report for Wonkette.

Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.

Sometimes angry people use that kicker as the ultimate insult towards us, and they are always lying. What a whiner this guy is. Why did he even bother going if he knew he would turn into a whiny baby after hearing an offensive joke, or a call for a political idea he opposes? What kind of child does he have to be to respond to the vulgar, anti-American Wonkette blog?

Wonkette’s “Reporting” [The Corner]

 
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{ 163 comments }

Ken Layne May 12, 2009 at 5:56 pm

Oh my god Jonah is such a crying baby fag.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 5:59 pm

“Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.”

Sure. Next you’re going to tell us that you didn’t know K-lo had a lap till you found your face buried in it.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 6:00 pm

And as far as being “slow to rise” maybe you need to jerk off to better porn.

Judas Peckerwood May 12, 2009 at 6:01 pm

Note to Jonah: half-hoisting yourself out of your chair to reach for another stick of butter is NOT the same as standing for the Prez.

shortsshortsshorts May 12, 2009 at 6:02 pm

[re=314896]Ken Layne[/re]: Yes. He is a crying baby-eating fag.

mdotsota May 12, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Oh man up and grow a pair of TruckNutz already Jonah.

Joshua Norton May 12, 2009 at 6:04 pm

“Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.”

Ha! Can you believe the utter uninformedness? We’ve known Wonkette was a site for at least several hours now. So there!

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 6:04 pm

[re=314896]Ken Layne[/re]: Ken, I think you’d better call in the Calvary.

SmutBoffin May 12, 2009 at 6:05 pm

OMGOMGOMG do you think that Jonah may have read one of my comments? Cuz I really REALLY respect the writing that he does and would like to meet him and the rest of the NRO Krew someday and OMG maybe he could get me an internship or something at the Corner JONAH CALL ME.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 6:05 pm

[re=314905]Joshua Norton[/re]: I’ve already fucked it twice.

x111e7thst May 12, 2009 at 6:06 pm

[re=314902]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Someone please kick this crying baby-eating fag in the nads.
So he has something to cry about.

kthxbai...also May 12, 2009 at 6:06 pm

HAHAHAH. I like how the tipster is called a “reporter”.

A Harlequin Bromance May 12, 2009 at 6:06 pm

Since when does Wonkette “report” news? I thought the “DC Gossip” subheader was a clear indicator of this. Furthermore, I demand a response to this egregious claim from The Corner. Blogwar amyone?

southpaw May 12, 2009 at 6:07 pm

“My recollection is this is flatly untrue.”

Jonah Goldberg and Alberto Gonzales, separated at birth.

Seriously? Your recollection? This was less than three days ago, Jonah.

A Harlequin Bromance May 12, 2009 at 6:07 pm

[re=314904]mdotsota[/re]: or at least borrow them from K-lo.

ManchuCandidate May 12, 2009 at 6:07 pm

[re=314897]Custerwolf[/re]:
To be “fair” to Jonah, I didn’t know K-Lo had one either.

stevenfelty@gmail.com May 12, 2009 at 6:08 pm

I’m usually on the toilet when I read Jonah’s column and I had a Pavlovian response just now. Ooops.

WABishop May 12, 2009 at 6:08 pm

“Pissy b.s.” is something of a mission statement for Wonkette, no?

doxastic May 12, 2009 at 6:09 pm

He must not be familiar with Wonkette. Why else would he use the immanently mockable explanation that he was simply “slow to rise?” I bet it’s “just a glandular problem” too.

loquaciousmusic May 12, 2009 at 6:09 pm

Mommy! The fat man is mad!

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 6:10 pm

Okay folks I’m teeveeless and I don’t read anything but Wonkette, so fill me in here (and there, when we have time). Does the person who wrote this –

“But enough explaining myself to Wonkette of all places. What I like about this is that the loser doing the “reporting” was so invested in Wanda Sykes to turn violent at what she/he thinks is an affront to Sykes’ dignity.”

actually make a living at writing? It’s a serious question.

The Cold Sea May 12, 2009 at 6:10 pm

Jonah, Jonah, Jonah. Didn’t even know Wonkette was still a site. Google Reader stats, or as we say in the sporting world, SCOREBOARD MOTHERFUCKER! The Corner: 4,778 subscribers. Wonkette: 10,650 subscribers. Jonah why don’t you and K-Lo get gay married and go to honey your moons at a Mexican Pig farm.

Skwerl Nutz May 12, 2009 at 6:11 pm

Is Brian Lamb to interview Jonah Golddouche?

Harvey Birdman May 12, 2009 at 6:11 pm

This is really just delightful.

tunamelt May 12, 2009 at 6:11 pm

This is such a passive-aggressive way to respond—”here’s why you’re wrong, and yenno what, I don’t even care about you so I don’t know why I’m responding.”

Okay, douchebag.

lmj May 12, 2009 at 6:11 pm

One would think that the fate of Denby would be warning enough for these people.
Whatever happens… it is on their heads now.
They were warned.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 6:11 pm

Jonah, you ignorant slut.

loquaciousmusic May 12, 2009 at 6:16 pm

I’d hit that.

With a two-by-four.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 6:17 pm

The WHCD was a complete disappointment to Jonah because, after all, he’d only attended the event in order to hear Sykes’ latest comedy routine. And since she wasn’t nearly funny enough his whole night was ruined. The end.

A Harlequin Bromance May 12, 2009 at 6:18 pm

[re=314924]The Cold Sea[/re]: perhaps they don’t check their site statistics either, given that Wonkette continually links to their website for the funnies: http://wonkette.com/tag/the-corner

whiskey tango foxtrot May 12, 2009 at 6:18 pm

Why did he even bother going if he knew he would turn into a whiny baby after hearing an offensive joke, or a call for a political idea he opposes?

oh oh i know this one! *gesticulating wildly* It’s an ego thing!

LittlePig May 12, 2009 at 6:19 pm

[re=314919]WABishop[/re]: “Pissy B.S.” is also the mission statement of the National Review.

lmj May 12, 2009 at 6:20 pm

Could be the weight factor. Some kind of physics thing: mass time acceleration in functional relationship with time to get yer butt up out of the seat if you are a super lard-ass, or something. I studied stuff like this in school, but forgot it all, so somebody should do it for me.

I suggest the worthless tween sex gossip rag Wonkette show them who is who by conducting a scientidic study, with numbers, to determine whether the slowness of ass-upness for the Prez was due solely to sorry-ass obesity, and boredom factor. Or, was there a RESIDUAL, the indicates something else, that something which could be imputed to a serious bad ‘tude on somebody’s part.

magic titty May 12, 2009 at 6:20 pm

Haha. Why does he keep saying, reporter, as if Wonkette sent the fucking person in there with a press pass or some shit. Ignorant slob.

ragecupcake May 12, 2009 at 6:22 pm

Forever the idiot, Jonah.

chascates May 12, 2009 at 6:23 pm

Jonah, I hope for the sake of the nation you haven’t been doing the nasty with that disgustingly obese hair pile.

bfstevie May 12, 2009 at 6:23 pm

So is pissy the new snarky?

kthxbai...also May 12, 2009 at 6:24 pm

[re=314933]loquaciousmusic[/re]: zing!

Noonan May 12, 2009 at 6:25 pm

I just spent an hour and a half drinking with “colleagues” only to return to this news. Let me tell you, it makes me very laughterful.

jfruh May 12, 2009 at 6:28 pm

Seriously, though, do we actually have to stand up when the president comes into the room like he’s some kind of quasi-divine priest-king? How long has that been going on? I would resent having to stand up for Barry O and I like the guy.

lmj May 12, 2009 at 6:28 pm

The real issue here is who in their right mind would take the idiotic and generally gross press dinner thing seriously enough to even resond? That is a very lame thing to do, and indicates lack of ‘soundness’, and seriousity, in general.

So, yes, I do question the judgment of the distinguished NRO editor!

Also, he took a Wonkette post seriously. That is another strike against him.

Sometimes parts of Wonkette posts are indeed serious, but the editor always provides a warning to the readers in order to flag the offending paragraph (I alwasy skip them, and take this opportunity to thank Wonkette for its courtesy and thoughtfulness). No such warning was provided for the Wonkette post in question. Case closed.

imissopus May 12, 2009 at 6:28 pm

Oh how I wish the Corner had comments so I could go over there and piss all over this poor fat crybaby.

Noonan May 12, 2009 at 6:30 pm

Also, if J-Glo had any nuts our fancy Wonkette sleuth could have even kicked, he would allow comments on his “weblog”.

IceCreamEmpress May 12, 2009 at 6:30 pm

Ah yes, because attention must be paid to her fabulous kidney failure jokes and stirring calls for higher teacher pay!

Oh, honey, you don’t want us to be paying attention to YOUR hilarious comedy routines, do you? Because you’re not going to like it when we do that. Don’t forget the “THE ONLY REASON MUSSOLINI GOT CALLED A FASCIST IS BECAUSE LEFTIES ARE MEAN” laugh-riot. Oh, my sides.

charlesdegoal May 12, 2009 at 6:30 pm

Can we change the subject? Is anyone still interested in this clown?

ragecupcake May 12, 2009 at 6:30 pm

so, wait.
wonkette posts that this guy is a fatass notalent. he doesn’t argue.
wonkette posts that he is-horrors!-doing the nasty with K Lo, he’s fine with that.
wonkette posts nasty pictures of them morphed into one evul being, he’s happy,
it’s just when wonkette suggests he can’t lift his weight out of a chair he’s bothered?
oh-kaaay.
does that mean the rest is unarguably true?

boinggg May 12, 2009 at 6:31 pm

Well, Jonah! You’re a fucking masochist, aren’t you? And now you’re hooked on Wonkette. You’re right where you belong.

Cicada May 12, 2009 at 6:31 pm

Jonah, Jonah, Jonah. You just don’t get it, do you?

*shakes head sadly*

Texan Bulldoggette May 12, 2009 at 6:31 pm

“But enough explaining myself to Wonkette of all places.” Then why is he? Maybe he thought/hoped(?) his mommy would spank him if he didn’t show good manners??

x111e7thst May 12, 2009 at 6:33 pm

[re=314950]imissopus[/re]:I’m guessing that’s why they don’t .
Though Jonah looks kind of like he might pay to have you piss on him.

chascates May 12, 2009 at 6:36 pm

Join Jonah & K. Lo on a National Review Mediterranean Cruise!

http://imagec14.247realmedia.com/RealMedia/ads/Creatives/NatlRev/nr_cruise_001/poseidon_mono_300_4.gif/1238159879

While the two love hippos sun themselves thrill to the pronouncements of Dick Morris, Karl Rove, Tony Blankley, Cal Thomas, and that fucking Indian guy (Ramesh Bonnaroo?). Be careful though, as this ship may travel through the ‘Greek’ isles!

IceCreamEmpress May 12, 2009 at 6:38 pm

Maybe he thought/hoped(?) his mommy would spank him if he didn’t show good manners??

You are forgetting who his mommy is. Good manners would burst into flames if they came anywhere near her, just like Bibles and Satan.

sati demise May 12, 2009 at 6:38 pm

[re=314957]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Wonkette is a place?
where is it and how do you get there?

and yea, Jonah is a crying fag baby.

ragecupcake May 12, 2009 at 6:39 pm

[re=314960]chascates[/re]: oh my god! the cruise of doom!

assistant/atlas May 12, 2009 at 6:40 pm

“Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.”

Frankly, you are a lying asshat. It took me about 10 seconds to find numerous references to Wonkette in your “writing”, a number of which were quite recent.

Seriously, just because you mouth-breathing, bible-thumping, hypocritical plutocrat apologists are too retarded to work the innertubes and refuse to acknowledge how wrong you are, constantly, about everything, even when we have video, does not mean that the rest of us have IQs lower than Cheney’s approval rating and will swallow it. That’s what the 20%ers are for.

Of course, it’s hard to stay mad at people who are obviously physically deformed.

IceCreamEmpress May 12, 2009 at 6:40 pm

[re=314960]chascates[/re]: National Review Mediterranean Cruise!

Okay, who knows any Somali pirates?

imissopus May 12, 2009 at 6:40 pm

[re=314960]chascates[/re]: Must be on a Nimitz-class carrier, as a flight deck would be the only ship deck on the planet with room for both Jonah and K-Lo to lay out.

President Beeblebrox May 12, 2009 at 6:42 pm

[re=314960]chascates[/re]: Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ, Pete du Pont, K-Lo, and Jonah on the same cruise? Somehow they’ll fit in a lecture about how credit cards will resurrect the nation’s economy just like they did Delaware’s back in 1988… which was great for abt 15 years until the big card banks got eaten up by bigger banks and pulled out of the state. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.

lmj May 12, 2009 at 6:43 pm

In response to commenter above about having to stand for whatever goof-ass who is currently the Prezidentator: No, I do not believe one is required to stand up on one’s hind legs. The military is required to do that because of serious commander-in-chief boss-man issues.

But, the press is stupid and they do stupid things, and the dinner is stupid. Thus: stupidity ensues.

Tommmcatt May 12, 2009 at 6:46 pm

[re=314966]IceCreamEmpress[/re]:

I’d call them, but there’s no profit in hijacking failure and despair…

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 6:46 pm

[re=314970]lmj[/re]: Weren’t invited, eh?

El Pinche May 12, 2009 at 6:48 pm

[re=314960]chascates[/re]:

I’m going to H-E-B tonight to buy a Holy Saint of Iceberg candle, and light that bitch up tonight.

wickedlittledoll May 12, 2009 at 6:51 pm

Jonah Goldberg, the name sounds dare I say, Jewish. Gasp!

http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

Bearbloke May 12, 2009 at 6:51 pm

[re=314955]boinggg[/re]: Does that mean he too is wearing a HUGE Black dildo and another latex suit under the one he’s wearing in the picture?

imissopus May 12, 2009 at 6:52 pm

[re=314970]lmj[/re]: No, it’s tradition for even civilians to stand when the Prez enters a room, particularly at a formal event. So you = FAIL.

lmj May 12, 2009 at 6:52 pm

This particular issue fascinates me. I guess because my mind is going.

The real scandal here is that JG was bored at a very distinguished and very stupid and very corrupt and asinine press function, AKA, the crappy annual press humor dinner, or whatever it is called. And this Goldberg guy was bored.

That is insulting to the press, and hurting of their feelings.

I ask you all, what if a liberal journalist had insulted the WH press corps so. Huh? What would have happened then.

This should be a major press/NRO scandal that occupies that press for days, weeks, nay, even years. And that puerile gossip rag Wonkette, with its evil snark, is the unlikely spunky little hero, what with its original, undercover, investigative reporting. Right?

Holding Out for a Hero May 12, 2009 at 6:53 pm

Do we need to prepare for an invasion of right wing flying monkeys or will they lurk and cry into their pillows because they’re not the cool kids of teh internets?

Jobu-ty May 12, 2009 at 6:55 pm

Isn’t this the genius who wrote that since Hitler was a vegetarian, and most American vegetarians are liberals, American liberals are like Hitler?

Jonah Goldberg. Rush. Glenn Beck. Michael Steele. Ann Coulter. Billo. It’s becoming WAY TOO EASY!

Crow T. Robot May 12, 2009 at 6:57 pm

One thing I love about Goldberg is you can often get a response–he’s starved for attention, even negative attention.

Just Sayin’

Joshua Norton May 12, 2009 at 6:58 pm

“K-Lo, and Jonah on the same cruise?”

Yes, but passenger safety requires they stay on opposite sides of the ship at all times. Otherwise it tends to, you know, tip over.

rachelv May 12, 2009 at 6:58 pm

[re=314913]southpaw[/re]:

This is a fact: only lie-tellers use words like “recollection.” We’ve known this since Watergate at least.

WABishop May 12, 2009 at 6:59 pm

[re=314937]LittlePig[/re]: It may be pissy b.s., but it’s OUR pissy b.s.!

ExecutorElassus May 12, 2009 at 6:59 pm

Can someone with some M.U.G.E.N. skills make a K-Lo/J-Glo fighting duo, and feed them into the requisite game/YouTubes? Because I really want to see them getting the shit kicked out of them by the Donald/Col. Sanders duo, wielding hamburgers and giant chicken wings.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/05/when_ronald_mcdonald_and_col_sanders_team_up_no_on.php

Ran Ran Ruu!!, etc.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 7:00 pm

[re=314982]lmj[/re]: You need to drink more.

Dave J. May 12, 2009 at 7:00 pm

“Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.”

“Honestly, honey, I don’t know how KLoFUPAsearch.com showed up in my browser history, seriously. I don’t even know what that MEANS.”

Texan Bulldoggette May 12, 2009 at 7:01 pm

[re=314962]IceCreamEmpress[/re]: I do remember who his momma is & on second thought, you’re right. Lucianne sure burped out a winner just like herself!

sati demise May 12, 2009 at 7:02 pm

[re=314965]assistant/atlas[/re]: Oh!

so Jonah is a fag baby LIAR?
trifecta!

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 7:03 pm

[re=314991]rachelv[/re]: That’s right because recollection is a subjective phenomenon. If you recollect something wrong, you’re simply absent-minded not a dog-fucking liar.

hoosiermama May 12, 2009 at 7:04 pm

Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.

Ho, SNAP! J-Glo totally pwnd you! Or, Cheney pwnd J-Glo when he totally said that to Colin Powell first– about being a website that he had not been aware of until a few moments ago. Yeah, I think that’s it.

I liked my Hunter S. Thompson reference from last night, better.

RationalMan May 12, 2009 at 7:05 pm

[re=314913]southpaw[/re]:
“My recollection is…”
Translation: Just in case I get caught lying about this…

OffTheRecord May 12, 2009 at 7:06 pm

[re=314933]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Which would promptly snap in two from the sheer force of coming in contact with Jonah’s lard ass. May I suggest a steel beam instead?

chascates May 12, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Mad Farmer Manifest May 12, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Stop. Stop, all of you. He likes the abuse. Think about it. Our verbal beatings make his tiny, syphilitic peen hard (sorta, lots of cholesterol for that blood to work through). The point is the Jonah is fapping to this page RIGHT NOW. Do you really want to be getting that… thing off? Say nice things! Quickly! It’ll be a boner-shrinker for him.

(throws up a little in mouth)

loquaciousmusic May 12, 2009 at 7:14 pm

Jonah Goldberg is the future of the Republican party.

Or did he eat the Republican party?

I can never remember which one it is.

loquaciousmusic May 12, 2009 at 7:18 pm

I just received a “tip” that someone overheard Jonah’s conversation with K Lo. It went something like this:

JONAH: Hey, Katherine, why is our waiter on stage?
KATHRYN: Um, Jonah, that’s the President of the United States.
JONAH: You’re kidding! Make him get me a martini.

Uncle Sam May 12, 2009 at 7:18 pm

All us commie libz should just re-watch that part in the West Wing where the blond bitch doesn’t stand up for the POTUS, then beat off when M. Sheen bitch slaps her with the bible.

Crank Tango May 12, 2009 at 7:19 pm

too bad for you mr greaseberg, a wonkette operative will be watching you every time you crawl out from under the trash in the krispy kreme dumpster where you live. Henceforth, every time you neglect to pry your fat ass out of a chair out of respect for our president, the intertubes will know of it, and you shall be mocked mercilessly, just like every other time in your life when the cool kids got together.
Also, there are people jizzing in your food besides the ones jizzing all over your face. I’d stop eating out if I were you. Also.

4tehlulz May 12, 2009 at 7:21 pm

ZOMG KEN SAID FAG LOL LIBRUL HOMOHAET 1010101011010EVELETYONE1010.

/college republican

shortsshortsshorts May 12, 2009 at 7:25 pm

[re=315008]loquaciousmusic[/re]: There aren’t any Republicans left to eat, but if there are, surely Goldberg will pounce on the opportunity.

x111e7thst May 12, 2009 at 7:26 pm

[re=314994]Custerwolf[/re]:We all need to drink more.

[re=314980]Bearbloke[/re]: Look in his eyes and I think you will agree that this guy is into creambaths (or at least cream facials) not latex.

the huge dildo maybe. but I’m betting his is condom free

Servo May 12, 2009 at 7:26 pm

Jeez! You’d think Wonkette snapped his bra.

x111e7thst May 12, 2009 at 7:27 pm

[re=315011]Crank Tango[/re]: “besides the ones jizzing all over your face”
damn
you got there first

iolanthe May 12, 2009 at 7:29 pm

[re=314996]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Ooo, yeah! I just read up on Jonah’s Mommy, Lucianne Goldberg.

You can, too:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucianne_Goldberg

Here’s her deathless blog:

http://lucianne.com/

She even has a snarky anti-empathy cartoon today. Kle-vurrrrr ….

And here’s an ancient blog post in which she gushes over Cheney (long page; search for “Lucianne”. There’s a pic, too, which is a win.)

http://blogs.salon.com/0002874/2006/02/15.html

Lucianne on Dick:

“Dick Cheney, the Uber Daddy: Maybe it’s the sly, knowing smile that hides a teamster’s vocabulary that makes this man so macho. To me he is the essence of cool. I cannot imagine him raising his voice, getting flustered, angry, or non-plussed (even when someone runs in front of his shotgun). He is the kind of man you call if you are picked up for speeding and need bail. If you are sick as a dog or can’t get home or find yourself alone in the last grinding pangs of labor you call a Cheney kind of guy. When every other authority figure tells you “no,” Dick Cheney, because you are a woman and he seems to like them, would tell you “yes.” I always liked him, but two incidents sealed the deal. I was first introduced to him at a reception and, even though he didn’t know me, he leaned over and kissed me. Right then I was hooked. But, when it was suggested to him that a certain arrogant New York Times reporter was, in so many words, a fool, and he responded, “Big time!” I was cooked.”

So being a sycophant with bad taste in people and politics really runs in the family.

Gopherit May 12, 2009 at 7:30 pm

But he has heard of you. I never heard of his elephantine ass until i came here.

dijetlo May 12, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Frankly, I didn’t know that national review was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.

I thought they all moved to France when we tossed most of the Republicans out of the Congress and elected Nobama.

WadISay May 12, 2009 at 7:33 pm

Jonah, if you are reading this, eat a massive bag of flaming dicks. Kthxbi.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 7:33 pm

[re=315011]Crank Tango[/re]: As an outdoor wonkette operative I’ve caught a couple of juicy scoops myself.
http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/no.jpg

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 7:36 pm

[re=315027]Custerwolf[/re]: I don’t think I have to tell you which of those two guys I actually fuck.

sanantonerose May 12, 2009 at 7:37 pm

Ohhhhh that picture. Is it Harry Knowles under there?

sanantonerose May 12, 2009 at 7:40 pm

Haha. Got him to acknowledge your existence AND refute you. Way to go, Wonkette!

Autochthon May 12, 2009 at 7:43 pm

Wow. I guess the fat lady *DOES* sing. Shrilly, but still…

Bearbloke May 12, 2009 at 7:43 pm

[re=315027]Custerwolf[/re]: good gawd – where is that foto from?

x111e7thst May 12, 2009 at 7:45 pm

[re=315034]sanantonerose[/re]: Either he thinks all “ink” is good. Or he enjoys the abuse.
I think you can guess what the Wonkette majority opinion on that subject is

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 7:46 pm

[re=315039]Bearbloke[/re]: Right up the highway (pun NOT intended). Believe me, he’s much cuter from the front.

Tra May 12, 2009 at 7:47 pm

What I like about this is that the loser doing the “reporting” was so invested in Wanda Sykes to turn violent at what she/he thinks is an affront to Sykes’ dignity.

Gaze upon Jonah’s deathless prose, ye mortals, and despair.

chascates May 12, 2009 at 7:53 pm

[re=315042]Custerwolf[/re]: You mean you live where you can jerk a salmon (or is it a steelhead) right out of a crick!!?!! I’m jealous. Got apple/pear trees?

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 7:57 pm

[re=315049]chascates[/re]: Steelhead. It’s not actually the river we live on, it’s about 1-1/2 miles from here (Skykomish river). We have apple and plum trees.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 7:59 pm

[re=315049]chascates[/re]: Actually, Joe’s buddy is only cleaning the fish. They caught it going down the river in the driftboat. Joe’s the only one with balls (in fact, you may be able to see them) to take a boat down that particular stretch, so the fishing’s always pretty good for him.

Autochthon May 12, 2009 at 7:59 pm

I thought I recollected this usage correctly. Per the Oxford English Dictionary:

jonah (v. trans.) to bring ill luck to; e.g., 1887 BLACK, “Sabina Zembra,” p. 282, “I seem to Jonah everything I touch.”; 1897 R. KIPLING, “Captains Courageous,” p. 97, “A Jonah’s anything that spoils the luck…”

Red Zeppelin May 12, 2009 at 8:02 pm

Question: Do Jonah and J-Lo change each others’ adult diapers? If not, then, who does? Just interested here.

EggplantParm May 12, 2009 at 8:04 pm

WARBLOG!!!

Que miras, cabron! May 12, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Is it really necessary to remind us that Jonah is the bottom and K-Lo is the top?

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 8:14 pm

[re=315058]Red Zeppelin[/re]: Depends.
You were expecting Luvs?

gjdodger May 12, 2009 at 8:20 pm

“…and furthermore, my tits are bigger than Liz Fucking Glover’s, and your so-called reporter didn’t even mention it! Sob…”

Servo May 12, 2009 at 8:23 pm

[re=315065]Custerwolf[/re]:
Depends are too small. They use mattress pads.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 8:28 pm

[re=315071]Servo[/re]: Oh SHEET!

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 8:52 pm

[re=315049]chascates[/re]: This is actually how it’s done.
http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/fishin.jpg

Looks like fun, eh? It is.

chascates May 12, 2009 at 9:02 pm

[re=315096]Custerwolf[/re]: That looks like a pretty nice way to spend some time. And the prospect of some smoked fish is pretty appealing.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 9:10 pm

[re=315105]chascates[/re]: It’s a toss up between the fragrance of a fish in the smoker or the smell of a fresh caught seared filet. Joe always give thanks to Mr.Fish for providing his deliciousness.

blogslut May 12, 2009 at 9:13 pm

Poor Jonah. His momma neglected to teach him public behavior vs. bubble-boy douche behavior. How many times did Mr. Man bemoan the “disrespect” of the left towards his cosmic cowboy hero? I grow weary of wingnut hypocrisy. Too bad, that’s all they got.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 9:18 pm

[re=315112]blogslut[/re]: Love your user name.

daphne May 12, 2009 at 9:23 pm

There is a bigger insult than “never heard of them” or “didn’t know they still existed,” and Jonah used it: I was bored. Think about it, there is no greater dismissal.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 9:30 pm

[re=315114]daphne[/re]: I disagree entirely. If you know how to engage with life you will never be bored. Boredom is simply the by-product a dull, distracted mind.

MGBYG May 12, 2009 at 9:32 pm

This Jonah is the Whale character is just too pathetic on so many ‘banes.

But when I see the phrase “pissy b.s.” my mind reels at the possibilities…

German porn?

jagorev May 12, 2009 at 9:47 pm

Ha ha, Fark picked up the original post:

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4383976

Now Jonah Goldberg is ruined, RUINED I say

iolanthe May 12, 2009 at 9:50 pm

[re=315118]Custerwolf[/re]: As my Mommy used to say, “Only boring people are bored. Smart people can always find something interesting about any situation.”

glamourdammerung May 12, 2009 at 10:03 pm

“My recollection is this is flatly untrue” means “I am full of it, but not sure if anyone has film showing that I am a liar”, right?

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 10:08 pm

[re=315143]iolanthe[/re]: You’re Mommy is very wise.

AKAM80TheWolf May 12, 2009 at 10:10 pm

[re=315096]Custerwolf[/re]:

Were you stalking them from a distance?

El Pinche May 12, 2009 at 10:19 pm

No one loves Jonah. 320 lbs of swamp ass and K-Lo’s scrot-like giant flaccid labia tickling his tongue does not count as love in any universe or dimension.

Custerwolf May 12, 2009 at 10:24 pm

[re=315164]AKAM80TheWolf[/re]: Of course I was.

PsycGirl May 12, 2009 at 10:29 pm

[re=315143]iolanthe[/re]: Jeez, you must be my husband’s long-lost sister. Can you babysit on Saturday?

iburl May 12, 2009 at 10:53 pm

“Still Around”

Yes, blogs and websites have much lower costs associated with them than ye olde Reading-paper offices do. I expect Wonkette to be blogging about Jonah’s demise one day, long, long from today…. unless Barack IS the Anti-Christ, then, of course the laugh will be on all of us. Jonah will be seated at the right-hand of the son and we will be chugging Cheney juice in the abyss.

PsycGirl May 12, 2009 at 11:00 pm

I may have been slow to rise since I couldn’t see the president from our table
Hmm, this brings to mind the common childhood defense when accused of running on the pool deck or in the parking lot “Well, I wasn’t really RUNNING…”

joezoo May 13, 2009 at 12:03 am

“Frankly, I didn’t know that Wonkette was even still a site until just a few minutes ago.”

Yeah, Jonah stopped reading when it wasn’t about buttsecks anymore.

iolanthe May 13, 2009 at 12:52 am

[re=315175]El Pinche[/re]: Jonah turns out to be married, to some conservative (Jessica Gavora, formerly John Ashcroft’s speechwriter). They have even spawned one daughter.

But you’re still probably right. Apparently, every conservative doughboy (and I don’t mean WWI soldier) is assigned a suitable conservative wife/beard some time around his 30th birthday.

iolanthe May 13, 2009 at 12:57 am

As for the “boredom” defense, I know several folks who claim to be “bored” whenever they are either threatened or angry or just do not feel like dealing with a situation. It’s a nice way to be in a complete tizzy while maintaining a poker face.

iolanthe May 13, 2009 at 1:12 am

Best quote from Jonah Goldberg’s Wikipedia entry, reminiscing about the fun times when his Mom helped Linda Tripp betray Monica Lewinsky:

“I did my bit in the trenches of Clinton’s trousers.”

Wow. Just wow.

Marlowe May 13, 2009 at 1:23 am

“To the extent my head was down it was probably because I was looking at my iPhone or leaning in to whisper to Kathryn or Ramesh so as to not bother others at our table.”

Yeah, right wanker!
Jonah the Onan.

Lionel Hutz Esq. May 13, 2009 at 2:09 am

It is very interesting that Jonah doesn’t actually deny the report. You would think he would say “I stood. I don’t know what your reporter was watching, but I stood. And then I wept, for indeed, I finally knew meaning in my life.” Then again….

[re=314913]southpaw[/re]:Hey, if you ended up banging K-Lo later that night, wouldn’t your memory be hazy? Although it is kind of mean of him to say that he was “slow to rise.”

[re=314960]chascates[/re]: Can you say Golgafrincham B-Ark?

[re=314963]sati demise[/re]: Wonkette is a state of mind.

[re=315060]EggplantParm[/re]: We never asked to be a war blog. It was history that demanded that we are a war blog.

Plus, as J-Go would tell you, all libtards are really fascist under all the pot and daisies anyway, so if war it is, war it must be!

DanJoaquinOz May 13, 2009 at 2:59 am

So, a Spider-pig, a Spider-sow and a Cockroach walk into a bar…

hobospacejunkie May 13, 2009 at 4:21 am

[re=315247]iolanthe[/re]: For whatever it’s worth, Doughboy’s wife is 6 years older than him. Perhaps he married his mommy, so to speak.

zhubajie May 13, 2009 at 6:08 am

[re=314967]imissopus[/re]: Don’t you think it would be fun to shoot them off the cats?

Zhu Bajie

cal May 13, 2009 at 6:19 am

More annoying of Jonah Goldberg, please!

We need spy reports of everything he does!

I love how pissy he gets.

Suds McKenzie May 13, 2009 at 6:20 am

meh, the last thing anyone is thinking about in the “heart land”, is … did anyone notice if dueche mcgoo got off his seat. … meh

bago May 13, 2009 at 7:01 am

When will conservatives realize they can’t just lie about everything because they have a trust fund rag?

Never, I hope.

tubbs the clown May 13, 2009 at 8:22 am

Dear Wonkette,

I have created a “user account” for the sole purpose of suggesting an alternate image for Jonah related posts. I found it on the google and lol’d. I hope you feel the same. Kisses,

http://thebadsite.com/jonah_goldberg_in_car.jpg

proudcitizen May 13, 2009 at 9:03 am

[re=314960]chascates[/re]: If ever a ship needed to hit an iceberg…

El Pinche May 13, 2009 at 9:14 am

[re=315305]tubbs the clown[/re]: You have my vote….NOT THAT DEMOCRACY EXISTS IN A COMMNUISTIC WARBLOG LIKE WONKETT.

Mr Blifil May 13, 2009 at 9:33 am

So he used to know Wonkette was a website, but…he forgot? This means Jonah is obsessed with assfucking jokes.

thefrontpage May 13, 2009 at 10:33 am

Who in the holy hell is Jonash Goldbergman, and why the hell does anyone care? What an asswipe.

Really–who is this guy? Several of us seriously have no idea who the hell he is.

thefrontpage May 13, 2009 at 10:35 am

For that matter–what the hell is the web version of “The Corner?” We know “The Corner” as a fine cable television program from our friend Dave Simon. Couldn’t this moron Goldbergman come up with a better title for whatever it is he’s doing? Now he’s up to about 10 strikes, all around. What an idiot.

zenferret May 13, 2009 at 10:38 am

[re=314916]ManchuCandidate[/re]: So it does count as a lap even if the belly covers the knees?

TGY May 13, 2009 at 11:00 am

Wonkette is a site?

zenferret May 13, 2009 at 11:06 am

[re=314970]lmj[/re]: There is a web page on this. Gotta loves the internets.

http://www.ehow.com/video_4984470_address-president.html

I think it applies to those you like and those you hate. Whether they were actually elected or not.

Whether your butt is fat or bony.

Betcha though if you’re in a wheelchair the secret service won’t shoot you.

sidkrofft May 13, 2009 at 11:37 am

i find it hi-fuckin-larious when, as some humaniod named “jerry taylor” is doing now, decides to post something on the corner about how rush and sean aren’t really fantastic spokespeople for the right. then that lopez thing crawls out from under her bridge and gobbles down the souls of those who don’t embody slobbering agreement. that englishman who contributes made the same mistake a few months ago. they made him into blood pudding. seriously, they think if they keep yelling loud enough, people will stop leaving their party.

Custerwolf May 13, 2009 at 11:50 am

[re=315406]TGY[/re]: I thought I was on craigslist.

AlexisHidell May 13, 2009 at 12:05 pm

[re=315367]thefrontpage[/re]: When I was growing up, “The Corner” was the spot downtown near the Rec Center where grizzled old crack whores hung out all day. Thus, I find the name to be quite apt.

snideinplainsight May 13, 2009 at 12:49 pm

I don’t really believe Mr. Goldberg has any actual physical corner, or if he did that he would even dare to sit at it very often (on account of harpooning), or that even if he did, he would have friends that would sit with him there and talk with him. Am I being too unkind here? What is this guy’s address, actually?

Maybe he could invite Michael Steele to sit out on his corner with him, and call him Baby once or twice.

hillary1 May 13, 2009 at 2:08 pm

“Several of us seriously have no idea who the hell he is.”

He’s a never ending source of amusement who thinks no one will notice that the GOP has racist policies if they hire an Hispanic to parrot them.

MarSF May 13, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Yes, This “Corner” has no comments and it is obvious why they don’t allow them. The fat fuck and his repellant colleagues can’t handle the truth.

dkissam May 14, 2009 at 12:24 pm

Someone really needs to put together a “Lowered Expectations” video for these two.

bobwurst May 14, 2009 at 3:54 pm

OMG, I just followed the link to the orginal story and Goldberg looks the dad from “Family Guy” in the episode where he pretended to be a hippie

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