News declarations It’s Official! By Sara K. Smith - May 12, 2009 - 9:41am 63 SHARE Facebook Twitter Add to Flipboard Magazine. Charlie Crist has a wife. [Charlie Crist’s Twitter] Give Us Money: $ RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR Rick Gates: OK Fine I Am Guilty, But Can I Pleeeeeeeeease Go To Spring Break? Rick Gates, Fucking Dummy, Tried To Put One Over On Bob Mueller. A Lawsplainer! A Wonkette Pat On The Head For … Rick Scott’s Proposed Gun Reforms? Huh! hockeymom 10 bucks says he spelled her name wrong. sezme Classic punchline! TGY An announcement on Twitter? FAIL! TGY, Thinking Big in a Small Media hobospacejunkie His mouth says wife but his eyes say fag hag. Doglessliberal [re=314083]hockeymom[/re]: That spelling is like Olde Towne. What is the purpose of the ‘e’? In Olde Towne, it is to make us think it is more old-y and town-y, I suppose, so maybe here it is to make us think she is more female? To prove he is not actually married to a transvestite? bitchincamaro After careful consideration, I have decided not to give a shit. Lee I thought gay marriage was illegal in Florida? freakishlystrong Like toilet snakes this also makes me happy. Thank goodness Boner will now have competition in the closedted gay, not found in nature person of color department in Congress. bago Alt-text, respond. Alt-text? ALT-TEEEEEEXT! Texan Bulldoggette The only thing wrong with Charlie is that he’s in the closet (albeit a poorly constructed closet–like those with the folding doors) & he’s a Republican. If he came out & became a Dem, he’d probably add 20 years to his life. Then he could retire in Key West with all the other gehzs. WagTehGod “Twitter. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Noonan [re=314093]Doglessliberal[/re]: Or an ‘h’ at the end of ‘Sarah’ or in the middle of ‘Meghan’. Not necessary. Furthermore proving the point that SKS > Meg McCabe. charlesdegoal [re=314093]Doglessliberal[/re]: You mean, like Carol Reed? Joshua Norton Does he pay her by the hour? Or does he get the special monthly rate? Will she keep changing – like Darren in “Bewitched”? I mean, he can’t expect the same girl to be available all the time. She has other customers, you know. tehbenton wife beard Fixed that for you, Charlie. bitchincamaro [re=314110]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: That’s why they’re called “bi-fold” doors. Numbat Dundee He thoughtfully considers with her. BTW – we Aussies had a closeted gay PM towards the end of the Vietnam War. He married a society nympho for convenience and she gave birth to two children. One of these, who went on to play the demon lover in Charmed, added to the mystery by the fact that, despite the fact that he was/is a hunk and his dad was short and balding with big ears and a voice like a nanny goat, he sort of looks a bit liken him about the eyes and that. If you want to know just google William (Billy) McMahon. themightysea Wait, why are we excited again? I get my southern hypocrites mixed up. Naked Bunny with a Whip “Thoughtful consideration”? Isn’t Crist a Republican? He should say he has prayed for guidance and God told him to run. Thinking. That’s so elitist. Doglessliberal [re=314112]Noonan[/re]: This is even worse, because, in theory, the e changes the pronunciation, so it should be Cair-OLE, but it is not, so it is extra stupid. Monsieur Grumpe Crist is running for Senate and Hobo Beans are discounted!!!! This is turning out to be a good news day. Guppy06 [re=314093]Doglessliberal[/re]: The extraneous E is there to stress that it is actually a woman, and that Charlie didn’t marry John Paul II or Archie Bunker. Doglessliberal [re=314123]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: And bound to get you into trouble. If you just do what the Lord tells you (as transmitted to you via your selected nutjob right-wing preacher or radio or TV commentator), life is so much simpler. MARCdMan Carole can be a man’s name too… plowman We in Florida have wondered about the Gov’s TRUE sexual leanings for some time but a local story has outed him: http://www.nwfdailynews.com/news/spooner-17263-sheriff-okaloosa.html The replacement Sheriff of Okaloosa County (the old one arrested by the Feds, tee hee) states: “At this point, I serve to pleasure the governor.” This new Sheriff isn’t hot, cute or even campy from what I hear, I’m not sure about Charlie’s taste in guys, maybe he’s just now getting the hang of being gay… Tra And, right on cue, he’s being disinvited from the Republican party. “That said, Crist’s work with Obama on the stimulus speaks to a larger truth: the far-right Republican base tends to hate the Florida governor … the governor will face a very aggressive Republican opponent — former Florida House Speaker Marco Rubio — who will run far to Crist’s right. In fact, Rubio, laying the groundwork for his primary message, recently said, “If you agree with Susan Collins or Olympia Snowe on some of these issues, you might as well become a Democrat.” Rubio recently won plaudits from the Weekly Standard, will no doubt enjoy support from the Club for Growth, and is rumored to enjoy the quiet backing of Jeb Bush. He’s going to spend the next year throwing red meat to the party base, dismissing Crist as an unprincipled moderate.” Join us, Charlie. We have cookies and sane people. Hopey dont play that game This guy is so far in the closet, the only person between him and the wall is Tom Cruise. Hi-ooooo! Joshua Norton We have cookies and sane people. And lots of left-over cupcakes. If K-Lo didn’t eat them all. The Legend of TeaBagger Vance not that there’s anything wrong with that! also, too. hobospacejunkie [re=314131]Tra[/re]: Though it would be better for the Dems if the crazy right-wingtard wins the republican primary, I will experience a simulacrum of pleasure when CC wipes the floor with the wingtard’s ugly butt. Dog Trombone [re=314126]Guppy06[/re]: Karol Cardinal Wojtyla or Carroll O’Connor. Pretty fast for a Guppy. Chickensmack [re=314120]themightysea[/re]: Mind you, they can’t always be hypocrites. some southern Republican leadership really do hate gheyness, but their stance alone may cause uncertain judgment about their possible “closet-state”. For a different explanation, try the evolutionary argument. If they could legislate history, this place would be 6,000 years old ON PAPER, BY GOD. Brian MORAN [re=314115]tehbenton[/re]: Exactly. Wolf Blitzer, who has white hair, is famous for his beard. Charlie Crist, who also has white hair, is going to be famous for his beard if Lord Limbaugh commands the first fleet of the Supreme Wingnut Guard to come to “non – Socialist” Mark Rubio’s aid and out Mr. Charles for the gay one he is. There’s got to be a few Conservagays who hooked up with Governor Good Hair (no, not Perry… the butt seckssionist, not the secessionist). This has already been foretold in the Bible… and Dianetics. Mr Blifil Gee won’t he miss her an awful lot while he’s out on the campaign trail? x111e7thst [re=314148]Mr Blifil[/re]: After careful consideration of his wife he decided to run for Senate. Mahousu From a report right before his wedding: He said he was “blessed” to have found Rome, adding of his wedding: “In just nine days, it gets consummated in a very formal way in my hometown of St. Petersburg, and I’m looking forward to it.” If you’re wondering, “in a very formal way” meant he had to do it in front of three witnesses. No trick photography or simulation allowed. Say what you want, but I’m proud of the man. It must have been difficult. Thankfully, he’ll never have to do it again. shortsshortsshorts There is an airport scandal here somewhere. Just wait. Cuthbert J Twillie Not only does Charlie have a wife, but she’s the multi-millionaire heiress to a Halloween costume company. How gay is that? And she has a place on fabulous Fisher Island, just a short ferry ride from South Beach. If you have to marry your beard you could do a lot worse. sanantonerose I cannot see or read about Charlie Crist without craving a Monte Cristo. Cape Clod I wonder if he has campaign staff that will exercize the doomsday option if it looks like he’s going to win. jasper f. krone [re=314130]plowman[/re]: Governor appoints Spooner? So Charlie is a bottom? norbizness “She wore the same type of wedding dress Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes did!” charlesdegoal [re=314142]Dog Trombone[/re]: and Carol Reed, Carol McLaughlin, etc. Filthy Crapcan Ghey. tehbenton [re=314145]Brian MORAN[/re]: no, not Perry… the butt seckssionist, not the secessionist Pity it probably wasn’t McGreevy. Because that would’ve been middle-aged hot. frumious_bandersnatch Hey, we teh ghayz have a big tent (we inherited it from Ethel Merman, bless her heart). Big enough for that petite, white-haired version of George Hamilton and his costume-laden wife, certainly. Dibs on the stash of Pirate hooks! Kingbee [re=314100]Lee[/re]: Gay marriage is legal in Florida, as long as it’s between a man and a woman. tehbenton [re=314155]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Nah, Charlie’s good-looking enough to avoid having to be a bathroom goblin. I’m thinking cleverly-worded ad on Craigslist. Guppy06 [re=314155]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I suspect there’s enough sex going on in Orlando International’s bathrooms as it is. It’s the “happiest” place on earth! Lazy Media Wife, beard, whatever. Charlie just doesn’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die. WadISay [re=314156]Cuthbert J Twillie[/re]: Are we 100% sure that Mrs. Crist is a woman? Lazy Media This is actually pretty awesome, considering there’s a whole MOVIE out now, full of guys saying they fucked Charlie in college. You go, Charlie. Haterz step back, this girl is going to WASHINGTON! thefrontpage Wife? What an “outrage.” thefrontpage Ethel Merman was not “gay.” And neither was George Hamilton, for that matter. Scrodd Nor was Jane Edgar Hoover. Mad Farmer Manifest George Hamilton for Senate! I loved him in “Zorro: The Gay Blade” hillary1 Oh, for God’s sake Charlie! Fifty something years as a single man and all of a sudden you have to start consulting the little wifey to see if you can run for office? Especially when that’s the whole reason you married her in the first place? Crankenstank It’s just two or three short steps from here to resigning to spend more time with your family. Mad Farmer Manifest [re=314353]Crankenstank[/re]: 1. Win election 2. Be sworn in 3. Get caught with dick in prostitute or small boy Does that cover it? proudgrampa [re=314156]Cuthbert J Twillie[/re]: But who’s the guy on the other side of her?: http://bigheaddc.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/charlie-christ.jpg AKAM80TheWolf Charlie, Methinks the lady doth protest too much; and I ain’t talkin’ about your beard. Fivetree You could say he’s thrown his beard into the ring. Lionel Hutz Esq. [re=314115]tehbenton[/re]: He wrote “wife” because he wasn’t sure if you spelled beard “berd” or “beard.” Previous articlePrice Cut On Hobo BeansNext articlePoetry Slam At The White House!