Some organizations choose to support research about infectious diseases. Others fight to end poverty and stop violence. But then there’s Häagen-Dazs, the little ice cream company that could, fighting the most important and meaningful fight of all. They are fighting to save the honey bees, and you can help save the bees, by eating free ice cream tonight at Häagen-Dazs from 4PM- 8PM. The fruit in nearly half of Häagen-Dazs’ all-natural flavors comes from the hard work of honey bees doing their pollination thing. The disappearance of honey bees, therefore, affects the availability of these key ingredients in their ice cream.
HMMMMMM.
What Häagen Dazs is really saying, is that without honey bees, they have no product to sell. And without ice cream, Häagen Dazs will cease to exist. So, the whole “ice cream for everyone!” thing in the end is really more of a “let’s save the honey bees so we can save our asses and not go out of business” thing. It’s socialism and the free market working together! They even go so far as to refer to the honey bees as “heroes.” You would love the little suckers that much too if the entire future of your company was riding on them.
Free ice cream is good ice cream, even if the reasoning is dubious. Today you have the power to make the world a better place and all you have to do is go the Häagen-Dazs store in Chinatown or Union Station or Georgetown give a hoot, and eat.
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I fully support market-driven ways of saving the environment. I hope Haagen-Daaz, despite their fake socialist Swedish name is successful. For those of you allergic to bee stings, I offer my apology.
I don’t know if it’s honeybees, but whatever pollinates dandelions and crabgrass is doing right fine in my backyard. I’m not a lazy bastard — I’m supporting a rich, vibrant ecosystem.
Is K Lo aware of this important event? Or is it too socialistical in nature for her to partake of?
I kid…stand back, DC nerds, K Lo’s gettin’ herself some free tasty treats!
I actually know someone who received a Haagen-Daaz fellowship. It’s pretty awesome that they donate so much money to honeybee research.
Now I have to go eat a pint of ice cream, for the honeybees.
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