Wonkette
After months of titillating evasion, the governor of Ponce de Leon’s meth-swamp has finally (almost) come out and made a very important personal announcement: he’ll be running for the Senate next year when Mel Martinez retires.
He’ll probably win this thing in a walk, being a pretty popular governor and having virtually no opponents since Jeb Bush decided he wouldn’t run. WOE BETIDE any Democrat who decides to run against this shiny orange deity, as they will be thrown into a pit of crocodiles, for sport.
Fla. GOP: Crist will be next U.S. senator [Pensacola News Journal]
He can join Boehner in the category of Republican men of color ‘not found in the natural world.’
Why is there a pic of Guy Whitey Corngood?
I can’t wait and neither can the senate page boys.
Orange Skin. Check.
White Hair. Check.
Pants hiked up to his chest. Needs to work on that.
2 out of 3 ain’t bad to representing Florida.
Is nice to see an old queen with new ambitions.
He has to do something to get away from his “wife.”
Jesus Crist will be the salvation of the GOP, until he is struck down by Rush Iscariot.
Fuck Florida.
The gays will vote for him cause he’s gay, the anti-gays will vote for him cause he’s straight-married — he can’t lose.
Texan Bulldoggette:
Don’t forget the
Oompa Loompas.
I’m not feeling the snark in this post — perhaps there is a Wonkette endorsement in the works?
CHUCK CRIST 2010 “Thrusting vigorously toward the future.”
Fabulous!
kudzu: anti-crist.
does this mean that he’s going to actually have to go through with his marriage?
What a handsome blade. Let’s Vet him together, y’all.
He’s a shoo-in now that “Outrage” has made him a movie star.
Cue supremely unsurprising gay scandal in 3-2-1…
There’s nothing like a moustached man in a football jersey belly top and Dolphin short shorts. With just a little more power Florida could have a dress code.
He needs to be more public about the fact he’s a Pike (ΠΚΑ). That way he’ll get all of the severely repressed homosexual vote.
WHERE ARE THE NEWELL PICTURES, PEOPLE??!!!!
He’s cute, I’ll give him that.
He’s “reinventing” himself. Or is it more like a “reimagining?” Like The Wiz?
aren’t all of florida’s wingnuts lining up behind some other limbaugh approved asshat in the primary? i suppose crist will start beating the “we’re all socialists now” drum in order to make it out of the wingnut primary.
Hate to be quoting Alec Baldwin from 30 Rock, but he’s right — “The entire population of the state is criminal. It’s America’s Australia.”
He’ll make any Democratic opponent his new bottom.
Has he been eating too much citrus, or do they just spray all the fruits a uniform, glossy orange?
He’s over 60 with good fashion sense. This alone means Rush and the other losers in the GOP are required to declare him RINO by their own rules. C’mon, look at that tie!!!
Dear Wonkette,
Please stop trying to install spywares on my work computer when I try to shoot the ducklings.
thx,
JadedDIssonance
Florida issues an armless blue Charlie Crist license plate in 5..4..3..
Mitch McConnell can’t wait.
It’s a proud day for Orangericans.
If he can deflate Rushbo-the-Hutt in a Welch ‘have you no sense of decency’ moment, rock on say I.
HALP! I AM BLINDED BY FAKE TANZ.
JadedDIssonance: and please stop dropping my netbook signal while i’m in the employee restroom. Also.
thanx
speaking of republican queens and other royalties….
ooooooooooooh! our spoiled bratty republican princess!
jesus crist, shit on a shingle… orange you glad you’re not a reublican? o you are? sorry to hear that…
El Pinche:May I just say, “Hideous!” ? Where did our Megs steal that Turkish beadwork-themed pup tent?
Best line in this story: “the governor of Ponce de Leon’s meth-swamp has finally (almost) come out….” It is about time he came out.
Is the phrase “…Republican chain reaction…” code for “circle jerk”?
Why is George Hamilton the King of Florida?
Damn! Now I’ll have to rush to revise my Jesus license plate order to read:
CRST4SEN
Madeline: Cue supremely unsurprising gay scandal in 3-2-1…
Nuh-uh. It ain’t gonna happen. A lot of people KNOW the man is a friend of Dorothy, a vast majority of people ASSUME this is the case, and don’t really care. They’re OK with it. They like him.
Oh, and the 23% Bible-thumping-Bush-Approver crowd? They don’t count anymore. Barely even in Florida.
“Ponce de Leon’s meth-swamp” should really replace “the sunshine state” as Florida’s official motto.
Really? That’s FABULOUS!
I just realized that Charlie Crist looks almost exactly like Guy Smiley, (who in turn was the Muppet version of Bob Barker, so I guess it all kind of makes sense)…
kudzu: I wish Angry Black Guy was ’round to tell us which parts are indeed fuckable. Lost my field guide.
El Pinche: My goodness, Meggie! Such a display of pouty temper and sense-of-rich-person-entitlement.
Would Paris have done such a bratty thing? Um, we don’t remember, ’cause that whole NAKED, ROLLICKING SEX TAPE thing made us pretty much forget whatever else we knew about her.
Just sayin’…
Of course, he’s much older than when he played the sheriff in “Blazing Saddles.”
snideinplainsight: and THAT too.
Holy crap, mannequin mommy and megs went nutz with the Bedazzler.
El Pinche: “Why talk about her [mom Cindy] at all?
Well, in all fairness Wanda Sykes probably hasn’t seen Meghan’s resume.
El Pinche: “The problem? She had only two tickets, but brought two friends.”
The solution: she quickly ate one of them.
My term for Florida, based on Central Florida experience, is Baja Appalachia.
May he and Lindsay Graham get to spend time together in the sauna at the Senate Gym. You ever hang hang around in a gymnasium, Charlie?
But then again, that may not work - both Crist and Graham are unfuckable bottoms.
He will win because he’s so pretty.
THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR LETTING WOMEN AND GAY MEN VOTE!
GOD NO!!!!!!!!!! So you mentioned Meghan McCain in this thread, meaning I got wood on a page about Charlie Crist! Does that make me gay?????
Ms. Crist, fondly known as Cholly at the “We B Bondage and Shit Botique” in Ft. Lauderdale, is no Sarah Palin. He will have to kiss Limbaugh’s fat ass in public to stand a chance of winning. Of course, he may already be doing that.
arclight: Pretty Bratty Meg versus Pretty Leathery Boy Crist, the tan man….reminds me of a Ween song ..the crust of a tan man embibed by the sand, soaking up the thirst of the land.
It’s such a shame Desperate Housewives killed him off in the tornado episode.
Monsieur Grumpe: He’s got another puzzle for you… what is a gay who marries a chick? Posing for pics while he’s craving a…
At least Lindsay will have someone to take to the dinner dance!
Is this much of a surprise? Everyone knows the Senate Weight Room is the best place in the world to cruise for gay, Republican sex.
Just a closeted homosexual? To get cred with the GOP, surely he’ll need to at least have sex with a farm animal.
Truculent: You’re thinking of Georgia, actually…