road to recovery

Michael Steele Will ‘Empathize’ You Up The Butt

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Now look what happened after we wrote up the last “empathy” post: Michael Steele chimed in! He was guest-hosting Bill Bennett’s radio show today — TALKING FREELY AND AT LENGTH TO THE PUBLIC, whoops — and oh… oh god: “Crazy nonsense empathetic! I’ll give you empathy. Empathize right on your behind. Craziness!” This must be the Urban Dictionary definition? [Ben Smith]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


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  • Texan Bulldoggette

    “Empathize right on your behind” Again, these Republicans with teh buttsecks references.

  • american mutt

    i don’t like anyone empathizing my butt. i prefer to sympathize.

  • Robotmonster

    That motherfucker’s crazy! Throw your panties on the stage!

    buttsecks also too.

  • Custerwolf

    Steele, your empathology report just came back from the lab and according to these numbers here, you suck festering cocks.

  • Custerwolf

    The last time I empathized someone up the butt it completely rectum.

  • bitchincamaro

    Michael Steele and Michael Scott of Dunder-Mifflin: joined at the lobotomy?

  • Spunkmeyer

    I want Michael Steele to lose his job and be forced to become housemates with Joachim Phoenix, and have that turned into a reality show.

  • The Cold Sea

    Michael Steele must be president of the Republican party for-evah!! Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for teh Intertubes and the nuttiness of Steele, Bachman, Barton, Sessions, King, et. al. Stay crazy, Republicans!

  • RoscoePColtraine

    he didn’t say ’empathize right on yo’ ass’ because ass is a curse word.

  • jetjaguar

    oh that Michael Steele, always keepin’ it real

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=312096]Custerwolf[/re]: Goddamit!

  • AxmxZ

    Democrats might as well go ahead and cut the 2010 campaign media budgets in half – there’s no better copy against Republicans than their own words.

  • Turd Way

    Ha ha, I hope the Republicans know that their scary urban chairman wants no mercy for the privileged white children who show up in court and usually get the lion’s share of empathy. What’s empathy got to do with prison sex? Let the devil take hindquarters.

  • chascates

    Waiting for Steele to come out against Brown v. Board of Education

  • Atheist Nun

    Hmmm… I would have thought Steele would go for the “empty thighs” joke.

  • V572625694

    [re=312096]Custerwolf[/re]: These puns would have to stop, if they weren’t so good.

  • Brendan M.

    Is it too late to make an addition to this “Outrage” movie? Truly, off the hook/meds.

  • space stout

    I am doubting that it’s really Michael Steele as he did not say “baby” a single time.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Verbalizing during sex is hot. “Yeah, buddy. You like that? You like that empathy in that ass? You want some more of that empathy? I’ll give you empathy. Yeah.”

  • SayItWithWookies

    I thought the Republicans were descending into lunacy. But that was yesterday. Now they’ve shot through lunacy, left tire tracks on incoherence, and are headed straight for crackhead-on-acid-in-a-lifeboat-full-of-dead-babies type brainwave activity. The end will be neither quick nor painless.

  • JadedDIssonance

    All this commie-leftie-empath-shit is what ya get when ya listen to them community organizers. We are NOT a community. We do NOT want to be organized. We all agree that there is NO NEEED to talk about what we want. None of us wants our rights heard or understood. CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?? IT IS THE END TIMES AND NOW THIS ANITCHIRST WANTS TO LISTEN TO US??? THIS. IS A HORN ON THE HEAD OF THE BEAST FROM REVELATIONS. WE HAVE PLAGUE, BURNING, GAYS, ASSHOLES. The end is near. The End Is Near!

  • freakishlystrong

    “Crazy nonsense empathetic! I’ll give you empathy. Empathize right on your behind. Craziness!”

    What the fuck does that even mean? This is the chaiman of a national political party, really?

  • Kingbee

    [re=312101]Spunkmeyer[/re]: Joaquin’s rapping quality might improve.

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=312122]freakishlystrong[/re]: Oh, he was endorsing Mild Corporal Punishment as a viable alternative to Court-Ordered-Therapy? Kinkier.

  • snideinplainsight

    If only armless blue Jeebus were here. He would have empathy for Micheal Steele.

  • Custerwolf

    Ken and Choire should try out this new video format Steele’s using here, where you lie flat on a couch with the lights turned off. Think how much it saves on bandwidth.

  • Hawaiiexpat

    Steele: anal probing
    for empathy, KY-less.
    Gerbils weep softly.

  • Tron Stuart Mill

    Michael Steele is always open to everything, baby, absolutely!

  • OReillysVibrator

    Hahaha, why take a guy who makes gaffes at a Bidenian rate a multi-hour, a platform for his opinions on a medium that requires you to say what’s on the top of your mind to avoid dead air?

  • Prommie

    I feel the way I did when I first watched Eraserhead. I no longer trusted reality. I had seen something so surreal that I refused to believe it was real, I could not imagine that someone had even imagined it, and as I doubted that whjat I had seen was real, I started doubting that everything I was seeing was real.

    Thats what Michael Steele has done to me. I really am wondering if I am not just the dream of a catatonic.

  • Country Club Jihadi

    Em-pizzle My Nizzle!
    You go girl.

  • snideinplainsight

    Empathy on your butt is just the start of a long, slippery slope down to the legalization of polygamy, bestiality, child molestation and pedophilia. Mark my words.

  • JadedDIssonance

    Steele, baby, spanking
    your behind from the darkness.
    Empathy! For Laws!

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    Bravo, bravo! The last thing we need in our courtrooms is for some judge to start making a whole bunch of nuanced judgements based on life circumstances and conditions and particular evidence and relevant factors related to a particular case.

    A simple choice of guillotine, 40 strokes by the lash, or debtor’s prison were good enough for my ancestors needed and they’re good enough for me.

  • GreatOldOnesParty

    [re=312096]Custerwolf[/re]: rectum? Damn near killed him!

  • Hart88

    I love it when he does his white-guy impression of Arsenio Hall.

  • jimh

    It’s been said here before, but “Idiocracy” will turn out to be a documentary very soon.
    Oh yes, and how will the Republican party best utilize Meghan McCain? lolz!1!!
    Goway! Baitin!

  • Min

    Empathy?!? Homey don’t play dat.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    To be fair, sometimes when my man is all, “C’mon, take it in the mouth!”, I’m like, “Can’t you just empathize right on my butt?” Because, you know, empathy can taste funny, unless you’ve been hitting the pineapple hard.

  • azw88

    [re=312096]Custerwolf[/re]: WIN

  • rmontcal

    “facts to the law and the law to the facts”

    The extended version goes like this:

    i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
    to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
    the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
    to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat

  • GreatOldOnesParty

    [re=312219]rmontcal[/re]: wit my mind on my money
    and my money on my mind.

  • Brendan M.

    [re=312137]Prommie[/re]: Eraserhead was just another slick Hollywood movie promoting abortion-on-demand. Totally not urban/suburban or hip-hop.

    Michael Steele is more like a character from Twin Peaks. Kind of an Officer Andy-type.

  • MarieDeGournay

    [re=312179]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Fun Annie is fun.

  • Dave J.

    I just figured it out. Michael Steele sounds like Dave Chappelle doing an impression of Snoop Dogg doing an impression of a white politician.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=312179]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Thanks for the tip, Annie. Always looking for ways to make that bearable.

  • northernbassist

    [re=312120]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Of course the end is near…you ever see anyone trying long distance butt-empathizing? Ain’t. That. Pretty. At. All.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=312179]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Take it deep enough and you won’t taste a thing.

  • Scandinavian Fetus

    That is one white, black man.

    He sound more like a Winston or a Kent…you know from the Buckhead Ghetto.

  • dijetlo

    [re=312179]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Butt empathy is a poor substitute for cold bangin “money shot” empathy, any day of the week.
    Pineapple improves the taste of empathy? I’ll have to get some for the wife, mothers day is coming up….thanks

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=312179]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: [re=312303]Custerwolf[/re]: [re=312326]dijetlo[/re]: Jesus, like a bunch of bored housewives swapping ‘jizz swallowing’ tips. Are we all wearing our pearl necklaces?

  • Custerwolf

    [re=312344]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I’m neither bored, nor a housewife. And I never ever wear what I can swallow.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=312381]Custerwolf[/re]: And I never ever wear what I can swallow.

    Cannot wait to work that into a conversation at a cocktail party.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=312407]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Strike that. DINNER PARTY. fuckin gold. And no, Custerwolf, I do not plan to give you credit.

  • Holding Out for a Hero

    [re=312381]Custerwolf[/re]: I think I love you. Come, let us away to the lovely state of Maine where we shall gay marry and spend the rest of our lives emersed in the snark…

  • Custerwolf

    [re=312422]Holding Out for a Hero[/re]: I’m there.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=312419]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I ask only for any phone numbers you plan on discarding.

  • wickedlittledoll

    These GOP leaders just keep getting better and better.

  • Holding Out for a Hero

    [re=312422]Holding Out for a Hero[/re]: emersed – I have no idea what word I was going for there..

  • Double Scorpion

    I think we are all being too hard on him. Obviously he thought the show was going badly at that point and wanted to liven it up with a version of Eddie Murphy’s “Boogie in Your Butt” but forgot the words.

  • GreatOldOnesParty

    [re=312407]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Sure you can. Just wait till someone is coming into the room and just randomly blurt it out as if they just stepped in on the weirdest conversation ever.

  • Brendan M.

    Rachel Maddow just reported on this and credited Wonkette as her source! This blog is going to get huge! Maddow has a large audience, right?

  • Bruno

    I always thought Steele would be the passive type in buttsecks. I stand corrected.

    I’m surprised we don’t get more closeted republican trolls here due to our obsession with buttsecks.

  • Hagar77

    Sigh. Why does Michael Steele sound like a “Hip-Hop For Old Folks” Madlib every time he opens his mouth? Also, right on your behind.

  • The Schadenfried PAC

    Michael Steele stays makin’ it rain. Y’all hoes just jealous!