ROAD TO RECOVERY  3:36 pm May 8, 2009

Michael Steele Will ‘Empathize’ You Up The Butt

by Jim Newell

Now look what happened after we wrote up the last “empathy” post: Michael Steele chimed in! He was guest-hosting Bill Bennett’s radio show today — TALKING FREELY AND AT LENGTH TO THE PUBLIC, whoops — and oh… oh god: “Crazy nonsense empathetic! I’ll give you empathy. Empathize right on your behind. Craziness!” This must be the Urban Dictionary definition? [Ben Smith]

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Texan Bulldoggette May 8, 2009 at 3:39 pm

“Empathize right on your behind” Again, these Republicans with teh buttsecks references.

american mutt May 8, 2009 at 3:40 pm

i don’t like anyone empathizing my butt. i prefer to sympathize.

Robotmonster May 8, 2009 at 3:41 pm

That motherfucker’s crazy! Throw your panties on the stage!

buttsecks also too.

Custerwolf May 8, 2009 at 3:43 pm

Steele, your empathology report just came back from the lab and according to these numbers here, you suck festering cocks.

Custerwolf May 8, 2009 at 3:45 pm

The last time I empathized someone up the butt it completely rectum.

bitchincamaro May 8, 2009 at 3:46 pm

Michael Steele and Michael Scott of Dunder-Mifflin: joined at the lobotomy?

Spunkmeyer May 8, 2009 at 3:47 pm

I want Michael Steele to lose his job and be forced to become housemates with Joachim Phoenix, and have that turned into a reality show.

The Cold Sea May 8, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Michael Steele must be president of the Republican party for-evah!! Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for teh Intertubes and the nuttiness of Steele, Bachman, Barton, Sessions, King, et. al. Stay crazy, Republicans!

RoscoePColtraine May 8, 2009 at 3:49 pm

he didn’t say ‘empathize right on yo’ ass’ because ass is a curse word.

jetjaguar May 8, 2009 at 3:49 pm

oh that Michael Steele, always keepin’ it real

RoscoePColtraine May 8, 2009 at 3:49 pm

[re=312096]Custerwolf[/re]: Goddamit!

AxmxZ May 8, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Democrats might as well go ahead and cut the 2010 campaign media budgets in half – there’s no better copy against Republicans than their own words.

Turd Way May 8, 2009 at 3:52 pm

Ha ha, I hope the Republicans know that their scary urban chairman wants no mercy for the privileged white children who show up in court and usually get the lion’s share of empathy. What’s empathy got to do with prison sex? Let the devil take hindquarters.

chascates May 8, 2009 at 3:53 pm

Waiting for Steele to come out against Brown v. Board of Education

Atheist Nun May 8, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Hmmm… I would have thought Steele would go for the “empty thighs” joke.

V572625694 May 8, 2009 at 3:54 pm

[re=312096]Custerwolf[/re]: These puns would have to stop, if they weren’t so good.

Brendan M. May 8, 2009 at 3:56 pm

Is it too late to make an addition to this “Outrage” movie? Truly, off the hook/meds.

space stout May 8, 2009 at 3:57 pm

I am doubting that it’s really Michael Steele as he did not say “baby” a single time.

RoscoePColtraine May 8, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Verbalizing during sex is hot. “Yeah, buddy. You like that? You like that empathy in that ass? You want some more of that empathy? I’ll give you empathy. Yeah.”

SayItWithWookies May 8, 2009 at 3:59 pm

I thought the Republicans were descending into lunacy. But that was yesterday. Now they’ve shot through lunacy, left tire tracks on incoherence, and are headed straight for crackhead-on-acid-in-a-lifeboat-full-of-dead-babies type brainwave activity. The end will be neither quick nor painless.

JadedDIssonance May 8, 2009 at 3:59 pm

All this commie-leftie-empath-shit is what ya get when ya listen to them community organizers. We are NOT a community. We do NOT want to be organized. We all agree that there is NO NEEED to talk about what we want. None of us wants our rights heard or understood. CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?? IT IS THE END TIMES AND NOW THIS ANITCHIRST WANTS TO LISTEN TO US??? THIS. IS A HORN ON THE HEAD OF THE BEAST FROM REVELATIONS. WE HAVE PLAGUE, BURNING, GAYS, ASSHOLES. The end is near. The End Is Near!

freakishlystrong May 8, 2009 at 4:01 pm

“Crazy nonsense empathetic! I’ll give you empathy. Empathize right on your behind. Craziness!”

What the fuck does that even mean? This is the chaiman of a national political party, really?

Kingbee May 8, 2009 at 4:03 pm

[re=312101]Spunkmeyer[/re]: Joaquin’s rapping quality might improve.

JadedDIssonance May 8, 2009 at 4:03 pm

[re=312122]freakishlystrong[/re]: Oh, he was endorsing Mild Corporal Punishment as a viable alternative to Court-Ordered-Therapy? Kinkier.

snideinplainsight May 8, 2009 at 4:05 pm

If only armless blue Jeebus were here. He would have empathy for Micheal Steele.

Custerwolf May 8, 2009 at 4:06 pm

Ken and Choire should try out this new video format Steele’s using here, where you lie flat on a couch with the lights turned off. Think how much it saves on bandwidth.

Hawaiiexpat May 8, 2009 at 4:07 pm

Steele: anal probing
for empathy, KY-less.
Gerbils weep softly.

Tron Stuart Mill May 8, 2009 at 4:08 pm

Michael Steele is always open to everything, baby, absolutely!

OReillysVibrator May 8, 2009 at 4:10 pm

Hahaha, why take a guy who makes gaffes at a Bidenian rate a multi-hour, a platform for his opinions on a medium that requires you to say what’s on the top of your mind to avoid dead air?

Prommie May 8, 2009 at 4:10 pm

I feel the way I did when I first watched Eraserhead. I no longer trusted reality. I had seen something so surreal that I refused to believe it was real, I could not imagine that someone had even imagined it, and as I doubted that whjat I had seen was real, I started doubting that everything I was seeing was real.

Thats what Michael Steele has done to me. I really am wondering if I am not just the dream of a catatonic.

Country Club Jihadi May 8, 2009 at 4:10 pm

Em-pizzle My Nizzle!
You go girl.

snideinplainsight May 8, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Empathy on your butt is just the start of a long, slippery slope down to the legalization of polygamy, bestiality, child molestation and pedophilia. Mark my words.

JadedDIssonance May 8, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Steele, baby, spanking
your behind from the darkness.
Empathy! For Laws!

Anonymous Office Zombie May 8, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Bravo, bravo! The last thing we need in our courtrooms is for some judge to start making a whole bunch of nuanced judgements based on life circumstances and conditions and particular evidence and relevant factors related to a particular case.

A simple choice of guillotine, 40 strokes by the lash, or debtor’s prison were good enough for my ancestors needed and they’re good enough for me.

GreatOldOnesParty May 8, 2009 at 4:12 pm

[re=312096]Custerwolf[/re]: rectum? Damn near killed him!

Hart88 May 8, 2009 at 4:16 pm

I love it when he does his white-guy impression of Arsenio Hall.

jimh May 8, 2009 at 4:19 pm

It’s been said here before, but “Idiocracy” will turn out to be a documentary very soon.
Oh yes, and how will the Republican party best utilize Meghan McCain? lolz!1!!
Goway! Baitin!

Min May 8, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Empathy?!? Homey don’t play dat.

AnnieGetYourFun May 8, 2009 at 4:27 pm

To be fair, sometimes when my man is all, “C’mon, take it in the mouth!”, I’m like, “Can’t you just empathize right on my butt?” Because, you know, empathy can taste funny, unless you’ve been hitting the pineapple hard.

azw88 May 8, 2009 at 4:31 pm

[re=312096]Custerwolf[/re]: WIN

rmontcal May 8, 2009 at 4:52 pm

“facts to the law and the law to the facts”

The extended version goes like this:

i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat

GreatOldOnesParty May 8, 2009 at 5:00 pm

[re=312219]rmontcal[/re]: wit my mind on my money
and my money on my mind.

Brendan M. May 8, 2009 at 5:03 pm

[re=312137]Prommie[/re]: Eraserhead was just another slick Hollywood movie promoting abortion-on-demand. Totally not urban/suburban or hip-hop.

Michael Steele is more like a character from Twin Peaks. Kind of an Officer Andy-type.

MarieDeGournay May 8, 2009 at 5:07 pm

[re=312179]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Fun Annie is fun.

Dave J. May 8, 2009 at 5:08 pm

I just figured it out. Michael Steele sounds like Dave Chappelle doing an impression of Snoop Dogg doing an impression of a white politician.

RoscoePColtraine May 8, 2009 at 5:12 pm

[re=312179]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Thanks for the tip, Annie. Always looking for ways to make that bearable.

northernbassist May 8, 2009 at 5:31 pm

[re=312120]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Of course the end is near…you ever see anyone trying long distance butt-empathizing? Ain’t. That. Pretty. At. All.

Custerwolf May 8, 2009 at 5:43 pm

[re=312179]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Take it deep enough and you won’t taste a thing.

Scandinavian Fetus May 8, 2009 at 5:47 pm

That is one white, black man.

He sound more like a Winston or a Kent…you know from the Buckhead Ghetto.

dijetlo May 8, 2009 at 5:59 pm

[re=312179]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Butt empathy is a poor substitute for cold bangin “money shot” empathy, any day of the week.
Pineapple improves the taste of empathy? I’ll have to get some for the wife, mothers day is coming up….thanks

RoscoePColtraine May 8, 2009 at 6:08 pm

[re=312179]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: [re=312303]Custerwolf[/re]: [re=312326]dijetlo[/re]: Jesus, like a bunch of bored housewives swapping ‘jizz swallowing’ tips. Are we all wearing our pearl necklaces?

Custerwolf May 8, 2009 at 6:33 pm

[re=312344]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I’m neither bored, nor a housewife. And I never ever wear what I can swallow.

RoscoePColtraine May 8, 2009 at 6:57 pm

[re=312381]Custerwolf[/re]: And I never ever wear what I can swallow.

Cannot wait to work that into a conversation at a cocktail party.

RoscoePColtraine May 8, 2009 at 7:06 pm

[re=312407]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Strike that. DINNER PARTY. fuckin gold. And no, Custerwolf, I do not plan to give you credit.

Holding Out for a Hero May 8, 2009 at 7:11 pm

[re=312381]Custerwolf[/re]: I think I love you. Come, let us away to the lovely state of Maine where we shall gay marry and spend the rest of our lives emersed in the snark…

Custerwolf May 8, 2009 at 7:20 pm

[re=312422]Holding Out for a Hero[/re]: I’m there.

Custerwolf May 8, 2009 at 7:21 pm

[re=312419]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I ask only for any phone numbers you plan on discarding.

wickedlittledoll May 8, 2009 at 7:24 pm

These GOP leaders just keep getting better and better.

Holding Out for a Hero May 8, 2009 at 7:26 pm

[re=312422]Holding Out for a Hero[/re]: emersed – I have no idea what word I was going for there..

Double Scorpion May 8, 2009 at 7:28 pm

I think we are all being too hard on him. Obviously he thought the show was going badly at that point and wanted to liven it up with a version of Eddie Murphy’s “Boogie in Your Butt” but forgot the words.

GreatOldOnesParty May 8, 2009 at 8:20 pm

[re=312407]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Sure you can. Just wait till someone is coming into the room and just randomly blurt it out as if they just stepped in on the weirdest conversation ever.

Brendan M. May 8, 2009 at 9:48 pm

Rachel Maddow just reported on this and credited Wonkette as her source! This blog is going to get huge! Maddow has a large audience, right?

Bruno May 9, 2009 at 5:09 am

I always thought Steele would be the passive type in buttsecks. I stand corrected.

I’m surprised we don’t get more closeted republican trolls here due to our obsession with buttsecks.

Hagar77 May 11, 2009 at 12:20 am

Sigh. Why does Michael Steele sound like a “Hip-Hop For Old Folks” Madlib every time he opens his mouth? Also, right on your behind.

The Schadenfried PAC May 11, 2009 at 10:19 am

Michael Steele stays makin’ it rain. Y’all hoes just jealous!

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