What Ever Happened To Bill Richardson?

by Ken Layne

He was the Democratic presidential candidate with the funniest ads, and maybe the most experience. And then he was going to be, maybe, secretary of state. But Hillary got that prize. Then he was going to Commerce, but there was some investigation of his office in New Mexico. Now, Bill Richardson just dances and dances and dances to the Mexican turbo-polka, as this secret May 4 video makes so terrifyingly clear. [YouTube via Wonkette Operative "Ellen D."]

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Hola wonkerados.

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lovekills May 7, 2009 at 11:58 pm

Eat your heart out John Travolta.

Custerwolf May 8, 2009 at 12:01 am

Well Bill was a good sport, but Cher should probably cut this part of her act out of the rest of her tour.

Josh Fruhlinger May 8, 2009 at 12:01 am

At the beginning which he clutched at his chest I thought we were going to watch the guy die of a heart attack.

Suds McKenzie May 8, 2009 at 12:14 am

He’s now the president of Beard Club for Men.

Lascauxcaveman May 8, 2009 at 12:22 am

So awesome! Bill totally rocks.

And isn’t that (Hispanic-Female) SCOTUS candidate Salma Hayek on the right?

kthxbai...also May 8, 2009 at 12:22 am

Oh, how quickly one must fall…

GaySailor May 8, 2009 at 12:24 am

Oh, LAWD! My eyes! It burns!!! It BURNS!!!

ky-jellydonuts May 8, 2009 at 12:27 am

Wow, Quatro de Mayo parties have some seriously wacky traditions.

obfuscator May 8, 2009 at 12:36 am

“Mexican turbo-polka”

I now have a name for my band.

GaySailor May 8, 2009 at 12:52 am

[re=311557]obfuscator[/re]: Ya know what? I think “mexican turbo-polka” should enter the American lexicon after TODAY! That is a GREAT word to define that sort of music. I’m gonna start saying that when I hear “Mexican Tejano / Disco” stuff.

RoscoePColtraine May 8, 2009 at 1:03 am

Meh, all Bill EVER wanted to be was somebody’s bitch. Loser.

V572625694 May 8, 2009 at 1:03 am

Who’s the dude on the left waving big coils of phone wire up in the air Why do they seem to be in a tent?

gurukalehuru May 8, 2009 at 1:04 am

Politicians should not dance. Ever.

hamletta May 8, 2009 at 1:07 am

I’m just glad he grew the beard back.

Ken Layne May 8, 2009 at 1:19 am

[re=311567]hamletta[/re]: That’s no beard. It’s cinnamon.

cranky May 8, 2009 at 1:27 am

i love him for having more balls than the next 100 guys. he is the one you want to hang out with all night, because his manshit will never get in the way of a good time.

go bill, here’s a doughnut.

davesnothere May 8, 2009 at 1:34 am

Let’s review: Richardson/Cher – endurable:: Rove/David Gregory – not

obfuscator May 8, 2009 at 1:42 am

get on the bueno foot and do the malo thing!!!

/high school spanish

hobospacejunkie May 8, 2009 at 1:59 am

Whose head will explode first? Bill Richardson or Rush Limbaugh? Seeing as how Bill’s is just filling up with fat around his brains while Rush’s ganglia is being increasingly squeezed by prodigious amounts of opiate residue and Dominican ladyboy semen, the smart money is on Rush.

AxmxZ May 8, 2009 at 2:00 am

May the 4th be with you, Bill.

Lascauxcaveman May 8, 2009 at 2:00 am

[re=311571]Ken Layne[/re]: HA! Can you win your own thread?

Why, yes. Yes, you can.

dementor May 8, 2009 at 2:17 am

Best of all, he’s a bad dancer, following the Hallmark sentiment to dance like no one is looking. Unfortunately for his career and the public who would have benefitted from his service, he’s acted too much like no one’s looking.

Custerwolf May 8, 2009 at 2:19 am

[re=311585]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I have to admit that one made me laugh so hard my cheeks still hurt. Actually they probably hurt because of that spanking I received earlier.
What now?

Lionel Hutz Esq. May 8, 2009 at 2:32 am

Does anybody here remember Richardson?
Remember how he said that
We would meet again
Some sunny day?
Bill! Bill!
What has become of you?
Does anybody else in here
Feel the way I do?

Lord Growing May 8, 2009 at 2:37 am

[re=311565]V572625694[/re]: That’s Judd Gregg.

Sucks not being in the cabinet.

Lascauxcaveman May 8, 2009 at 2:38 am

[re=311590]Custerwolf[/re]: Cinnamon. It’s inherently funny!

lawrenceofthedesert May 8, 2009 at 2:57 am

Good to see that the choreographic tradition of Jackie “Away We Go!” Gleason lives on in New Mexico. That’s more energy from Bill than I saw in an entire 2008 campaign speech, when the Perry Como tradition dominated him and Kucinich’s wife in an interesting halter top inspired no turbo in his polka whatsoever.

facehead May 8, 2009 at 3:04 am

Does he do Bar Mitzvahs?

Bruno May 8, 2009 at 3:09 am

I’ve seen mexicans dance before, and that’s no mexician. I think he must be a nuevo meixican

SayItWithWookies May 8, 2009 at 3:25 am

This is how folks end up when they don’t play ball. I’m talking to you, Arlen.

hobospacejunkie May 8, 2009 at 4:11 am

[re=311610]allainjules[/re]: I don’t want to tell anyone how to do their job, but allainjules, you should be banned. While you are harmless, you contribute nothing, ever, and just pimp your blog or whatever the hell it is, which is in French, which is fine except this blog is in English, and your blog thingy is never relevant to the discussion. I would not shed a tear should we never see you again.

gurukalehuru May 8, 2009 at 4:27 am

[re=311614]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Pas trop vite avec le banhammer, mon ami.

hobospacejunkie May 8, 2009 at 4:52 am

[re=311615]gurukalehuru[/re]: Just pointing out that he drops his little bombs in the midst of snark every day for no apparent reason. I see little difference between this & spam. But I’m not trying to tell anyone how to do their job. Just thought I could get away with a little steam blowing in the middle of the night when no one’s watching.

Suds McKenzie May 8, 2009 at 4:57 am

… your white AZ suite will fit, or your money back … its guaranteed.

Servo May 8, 2009 at 5:00 am

Is this a deleted scene from the Star Wars cantina?

Suds McKenzie May 8, 2009 at 5:13 am

So again don’t let my lyrics mislead you
I don’t love you but I need you
Would you rather have me lie
Take a piece of your pie and say bye
Or be honest and rub your thighs

dah dat da dah dahh … Bill …
dah dat da dah dahh ….Suave

x111e7thst May 8, 2009 at 7:04 am

[re=311615]gurukalehuru[/re]: Le banhammer est le nouveau noir.

TGY May 8, 2009 at 7:04 am

That’s the problem with ‘dance as if no one is watching’. There’s usually some fucker out there taking video and…Youtube! It’s a plague worse than pork fever, I tell ya.

Itsjustme May 8, 2009 at 7:26 am

[re=311565]V572625694[/re]: I thought they were Hula Hoops.

j6n May 8, 2009 at 8:07 am

Where did she see the “robot”? It was obviously the “locomotion”.

sanantonerose May 8, 2009 at 8:12 am

I found him. He was on Craigslist S.A. Older man seeking younger woman for friendship and moviegoing. Apparently I don’t have to do anything else until I’m “ready.”

sanantonerose May 8, 2009 at 8:13 am

[re=311571]Ken Layne[/re]: Cinnamon? What, they were bobbing for apples in a tub of Abuelita?

slappypaddy May 8, 2009 at 8:40 am

the dance of a man who has little left to lose

GaySailor May 8, 2009 at 8:50 am

ohhhh! Peggy Noonan is attempting her dramatic monologues as coy commentary on “Morning Joe” over at MSNBC this morning. I’m gonna have to drink a pot o’coffee before I’m ready to watch that shit. Actually, I don’t think I couldn’t handle her until about 6:00 pm for some cheap tv dinner theater. Her shit is so over the top she should have to do interpretive dance with her prose? I mean… COME ON… who speaks like that?!!?

Norbert May 8, 2009 at 8:57 am
One Yield Regular May 8, 2009 at 9:06 am

[re=311565]V572625694[/re]: Carlos Santana-Castaneda?

ALIVE! May 8, 2009 at 9:14 am

[re=311627]x111e7thst[/re]: Le banhammer est dans the camping-car pour le weekend, et va retourner la semaine prochaine.

ALIVE! May 8, 2009 at 9:15 am

[re=311653]ALIVE![/re]: Merde … le camping-car.

bricks May 8, 2009 at 9:33 am

I wonder why he’s the greatest dancer?

Mr Blifil May 8, 2009 at 9:42 am

He seems to go into defibrillation at around 0:03 seconds.

queeraselvis v 2.0 May 8, 2009 at 9:42 am

That’s not the turbo-polka, people. It’s the Funky Chicken, with a dose of hot coals dropped down his undies for good measure.

Mr Blifil May 8, 2009 at 9:42 am

[re=311571]Ken Layne[/re]: Churros!

rocktonsammy May 8, 2009 at 10:00 am

Bust a move!

dijetlo May 8, 2009 at 10:15 am

[re=311671]Mr Blifil[/re]: That’s just somebody switching on his vibrating buttplug, not to worry.

Kingbee May 8, 2009 at 11:17 am

[re=311565]V572625694[/re]: I just assumed that this was a Santa Muerte tent revival, the guy in the white suit was the sacrificial virgin, and the guy with the hula hoops couldn’t afford a real tambourine.

earnestcivilservant May 8, 2009 at 11:17 am

I just like it that she’s saying “Ho! Ho! Ho!” while he’s dancing. Pretty ballsy of her, when the Gov tries to leave the stage she tells him to stay…and he does!

dodgesmahoney May 8, 2009 at 11:23 am

JANA MASHONEE IS SO HOT!!! can’t believe she got billy to bust out da stanky legg

Jewdishoowary Square May 8, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Did I just get “Bill-roll’d”?

Deepthroat May 8, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Man, i miss Boris Yeltsin. :(


gwopboy14 May 8, 2009 at 1:46 pm

wow i cant believe mr richardson knows the stanky leg!!!!!!
he is the man , apparently he also knows the soulja boy dance and the harlem shuffle

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