Michelle Obama Palling Around With Red Monster

  red scare


Whoa, a black person on Sesame Street! They were not kidding, about the change. Here is elitist fashion plate Michelle Obama disrespecting our Queen again by saying the best thing she ever did was some kind of fetish play with a red monster which is actually just some terrible carpet with ping pong balls for eyes and a gay dude’s hand up its ass. Exercise, it’s what’s for dinner, fat America! [YouTube]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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87 comments

  1. bitchincamaro

    MO will probably get more cred from her kids for that bit than for being the first lady.

  2. Custerwolf

    Hey Michelle, the Queen’s on the line -she sounds pissed and mentioned something about wanting her picture back.

  3. Min

    A red monster, you say. Obviously, that’s just a thinly-veiled reference to Teh Communism.

  4. Lascauxcaveman

    Jim Henson is gay? Muppets and all … hmmm.

    Guess I should have figured out that one on my own.

  5. Cathangover

    I like how she’s all pissed off at that end, like “Give me two fucking seconds to help this whole country not die from gravy poisoning, you high-pitched mongrel”.
    And let’s not forget that a Black Man does Elmo’s voice, meaning Michelle Obama is only on the show because of her racism.

  6. DustBowlBlues

    I’m my kids best role model? Shit. No wonder they turned out sarcastic and cynical. Where was Mrs. Hopey when I needed her?

  7. DustBowlBlues

    I’m my kids best role model? Shit. No wonder they turned out sarcastic and cynical. Where was Mrs. Hopey when I needed her?

    Fuck, my webtubenets are clogged today. This shit is slow.

  8. JMP

    How dare she appear with that squeaky-voiced, red thing that took over and ruined the show!

  9. The Cold Sea

    Stevie Wonder was on Sesame Street back in the day. Played “Superstition” live and kicked much terrible-carpet-with-ping-pong-balls-for-eyes-and-a-gay-dude’s-hand-up-its-ass butt. Stevie on the Street

  10. Texan Bulldoggette

    I’ve never understood the appeal of these hairy falsetto weirdos. My kids were never into them (thank God), but at least they didn’t look like pedophiles ala Mr. Rogers.

  11. Doglessliberal

    [re=311173]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Jim Henson is dead, and he allegedly was not gay while living (he was married), but he did die of pneumonia, and there was always a rumor he was gay and it was AIDS. But whatever he was, he was a god. The Smithsonian had an exhibit on him recently and the biggest surprise were all his ads. He was in advertising in the DC area before the Muppets and did some hysterical and pretty dark ads with puppets. Here some coffee ones:

    http://www.videosift.com/video/Wilkins-Coffee-Ads-by-Jim-Henson

  12. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=311177]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Yep, ditto on the sarcastic & cynical. Mine will probably also turn out to be drunks; our only goal is to keep the girl off the pole & the boy from being someone’s girlfriend in prison.

  13. McGomer

    Also, what about Gordon? Your opening line shows a blatant lack of historical perspective!

  14. DustBowlBlues

    [re=311177]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Oh, god. I did the most bannable thing of all–I managed to double post. I am so fucked. Don’t tell Ken!

  15. Brendan M.

    Wasn’t Barack Obama a Sesame Street Organizer? Eh, I’m going to mow the lawn. I can’t make fun of non-Bachmann/Malkin Michelle.

  16. meg9

    They’ve always had black people on sesame street. That diversity was the original POINT of Children’s Television Workshop programs in the late 60s and early 70s. Black, Asian,and Latino children and adults have been on sesame street from the very beginning. Give credit where credit is due.

    Okay, off of my grumpy soapbox to ooh and ahh with everybody else about how cute this is.

  17. DustBowlBlues

    [re=311182]Rush[/re]: I noticed the Marxist/Fascist clothing catalog ad, too. If I hadn’t double posted and didn’t face imminent ban, I would accuse Layne of being a sellout in the name of cheap profits. What’s next, an ad for LL BEAN!!!?????

  18. SayItWithWookies

    [re=311181]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: What do the BeeGees even have to do with this?

  19. earnestcivilservant

    [re=311169]Tommmcatt[/re]: Second that. Some things are just to sweet to snark at. Hey, it’s for the kids.

  20. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Like Elmo, I also want to meet Michelle Obama while I’m pantsless.

  21. freakishlystrong

    Why is Michelle assuming parents are watching and she addresses them? Michelle, sweetie, everyone knows a good ‘merkian parents plops their kids in front of the tube and goes into another room to quietly resume drinking. chhhhaa!

  22. Rush

    [re=311193]DustBowlBlues[/re]:

    The irony is not lost that just above Ms. Crew, is a sexy slab of beef from our subtle friends at PETA. Although nothing can top the advertising expoits when we had a life size image of our favorite new mommy, Campbell Brown.

  23. V572625694

    [re=311188]DustBowlBlues[/re]: It’s okay to double-post if you put “also” at the end of the second one.

  24. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    If I hadn’t double posted and didn’t face imminent ban, I would accuse Layne of being a sellout in the name of cheap profits.

    Well, thank goodness you had sense enough to keep such ludicrous and accurate thoughts to yourself, then.

  25. Custerwolf

    [re=311193]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Personally, I was a bit put off by the dude throwing the molotav cocktail at the Shell station, but hey I’m not a consumer so ftw.

  26. Doglessliberal

    [re=311234]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: exactly. Commercials used to be violent as shit. Though I guess a lot are today, too, but with the Henson puppets, it seems so discordant (and thus, effective. You remember that Wilkins coffee.)

  27. One Yield Regular

    [re=311192]meg9[/re]: Amen. Sesame Street was way ahead of its time.

    Now if there were a black person on “Friends,” THAT might be something.

  28. Custerwolf

    [re=311178]JMP[/re]: Are you referring to Ms.Piggy’s used tampon? I think it was even more tasteless when she had that frog in her throat.

  29. sanantonerose

    Didn’t they used to have a black dude on Sesame Street? Oh wait. He was hispanic.

  30. Reginald

    [re=311192]meg9[/re]: Yeah, Gordon and Susan ruled the street before the muppets completely took over.

  31. 19kevin8

    [re=311249]One Yield Regular[/re]: Ross had that black girlfriend for a while… how and why the fuck do i even KNOW this? I can’t believe I’ve started watching “friends” re-runs… I hated that show while it was being made.
    fuck my life.

  32. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    before the muppets completely took over.

    That’s what happens when a minority moves into the neighborhood.

  33. proudgrampa

    No snark. That was sweet. My 3-year-old granddaughter will think it’s cool.

  34. Links

    [re=311249]One Yield Regular[/re]: No, there is a law against black people appearing in shows that take place in Manhattan other than in ridiculously marginal roles (Friends, How I met Your Mother, Gossip Girl, Sex and the City, Seinfeld, etc, 30 Rock doesn’t count because it’s in a class of its own) because it’s a very racially homogeneous place as we all know.

  35. facehead

    Looks like we’ll have to call it “La Rue Sesame” from now on, Madame Roquette.

  36. Woodwards Friend

    What a bitch, telling me to exercise with my children. Where does she get off? Boy I tell ya you get one of them in the White House and suddenly they think they can raise our kids. We should probably have another tea bag thing to protest this.

    You know how my kid can get some exercise? By running his fat ass to the fridge and getting his old man a can of Pabst. These wings need more blue cheese sauce. Also.

  37. lawrenceofthedesert

    [re=311249]One Yield Regular[/re]: I would have liked to have seen black people on “The Cosby Show,” myself. But that’s the problem with PC: who decides who’s gay enough, black enough, in, out? Many Italians have African American ancestors, as a friend who had a DNA test found out, and if Leakey was right about the origin of our species, every American is an African American. Gerry Mulligan had more soul in his Irish pinkie than Grover Washington has in his entire body — but that, too, proves nothing. Race is a hollow issue.

  38. Custerwolf

    [re=311304]Links[/re]: It is if you can run back and forth between 72nd and 96th REALLY fast.

  39. JMP

    [re=311252]Custerwolf[/re]: Great, now it’s going to take days to get those images out of my head.

  40. randomsausage

    [re=311182]Rush[/re]: I like this willowy J. Crew blond a lot. Much better than Meeting the Meat, though I still crave a nice juicy t-bone everytime I see that. FYI — their print catalog has a hot black chick, obviously trying to cash in on the whole Michelle-likes-J.Crew thing. But she didn’t make it to the intertubes…..obviously racist.

    I do miss the 50 foot high Campbell Brown. She’d be fucking huge now with those milk-boobies in place!

  41. daisy chain

    I miss Laura. She knew how to keep her trap shut. Now this uppity negress comes along and tells me how to raise my fucking kids. Maybe we should all get our exercise in communist labor camps. Would that make you proud of your country, Michelle the America hater?

  42. Woodwards Friend

    [re=311286]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: I want to see a birth certificate for “the one you call John-John” because I heard he was born in Kenya and not on Sesame Street as he claims.

  43. daisy chain

    [re=311181]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Don’t be talkin shit bout no Mr.Rogers. He’s in heaven now and he will totally smite your blasphemous ass.

  44. sarcasticusername

    [re=311287]19kevin8[/re]: i think that was only after people noticed that they’d never had a black person on the show in nearly a decade. it’s interesting though that it was always ross who brought the minorities onto the show, he was the one who had the super annoying asian girlfriend for a while too.

  45. problemwithcaring

    [re=311287]19kevin8[/re]: I have a total lesbian crush on Aisha Tyler, but yes, Friends was the worst thing she’s done. Perhaps, great for her career, but so?

  46. Custerwolf

    [re=311316]JMP[/re]: Then I don’t have the heart to share with you the sordid details of what nearly led to the divorce of Aloysius Snuffleupagus’s parents.

  47. Custerwolf

    [re=311409]problemwithcaring[/re]: That gorgeous face of hers seems to have some caucasian persuasion as well?

  48. problemwithcaring

    [re=311422]Custerwolf[/re]: Aren’t we all mutts? She just makes me laugh.

  49. Custerwolf

    [re=311431]problemwithcaring[/re]: Since I have no teevee, I’ll have to check her out on the inetertubes.

  50. VeganBolagnaSucks

    Elmo’s red.

    Elmo’s hanging out with a secret Muslin Fascistsolialist Commie.

    Elmo is the avatar of Joe Stalin.

    Imma gon’ write a book,and make a million dollars of the Fundies when I exposes this Libtard plot against the Baby Jesus.

  51. DustBowlBlues

    [re=311220]V572625694[/re]: I’ll remember that next time I fuck up. If I triple post, will putting in truck nutz compensate? Speaking of ads, where’s Sarahpac?

    As for that exercising bullshit, I huffed and puffed up and down a small hill (a long bump to people who live in mountainous areas) for a half hour to my mailbox and it made me so tired I came home, ate a healthy dinner then went back to sorting jelly beans and ate a couple handfuls.

    So, fuck the exercise. It just makes me want candy.

  52. DustBowlBlues

    [re=311313]Woodwards Friend[/re]: Okay, it’s so late I’m not sure anyone is reading this but you get the make-me-laugh-out-loud prize.

  53. DustBowlBlues

    [re=311358]Lazy Media[/re]: This whole thread, I’ve been thinking about Avenue Q. John Tataglia (sp?) was hired by the Henson company as an 18 year old, after doing an internship with them. I love Avenue Q and consider “It Sucks to be Me” my personal theme song.

  54. Custerwolf

    [re=311448]problemwithcaring[/re]: Thank you for doing my homework. I love her!

  55. hobospacejunkie

    [re=311506]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I am reading this. Just finished it, in fact. But I did not watch the video. Traumatic childhood memories, I think.

  56. El Pinche

    MICHELLE BOWBAMA AND HER QUEST FOR OUR CHILDREN TO BE GOULAG SKINNY.

    GET READY AMERICA , LOOOKS WE’RE GONNA SOCAILISE OUR 24 HOUR FITTNESSES AND WORLDS GYMS TOO. THE ROYAL KENYAN MUSLINISTS ARE GONNA FORCE MY MORBIDLY, QUADRA-CHINNED LITTLE PATRIOTS TO EAT LETTUCE AND DO JUMPNG JACKS , STOCK UP ON GUNS AND CHEF BOYARDEE FELLOW PATRIOTS AND TEABAGGERS.

  57. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=311519]WIDTAP[/re]: Well, I think it’s kind of awesome that someone here knows the name/sexual orientation of Elmo’s official muppeteer.

    Now, maybe you can help me with this: what about the voice of Geddy Lee, how did it get so high?
    I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?

  58. hamletta

    [re=311184]Doglessliberal[/re]: I’m so old, my parents used to drink Wilkins coffee. Musta been cheap.

  59. cranky

    [re=311569]hamletta[/re]: that’s not that old. either that, or i’m old. so, motherfucker, it is not yhat old.

  60. cranky

    [re=311587]cranky[/re]: or maybe it is, since i’m too old to tell the t from the y. kill me.

  61. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    So her favorite thing is hanging out with a commie terrorist. Big surprise.

    First it is William Ayers, then it was the Rev. Wright. Now it is Elmo.

    Suck on that, Whitey!

  62. WIDTAP

    [re=311568]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Geddy Lee is Canadian. Aren’t all Canadians gay, by definition?

    As for Kevin Clash, hey someone here has to show a little respect for the Baltimore black man.

  63. lulzmonger

    Michelle Hussein X obviously wants teh terrorists to WIN – why else would she discriminate against good solid wholesome American arterial plaque like that?!?!

    “You’re your child’s best role-model” is exactly why I have studiously avoided spawning. Society can go on playing Russian Roulette just fine on its own without me feeding it more ammo.

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