BREAKUPS  12:03 pm May 7, 2009

Now Even Joe The Plumber Hates Republicans

by Sara K. Smith

He seethes with rage at these RepublicansYou know your party has hit new lows of odiousness when even a rat-eyed tax-delinquent creep who makes propaganda videos for Pajamas Media wants nothing to do with you. So congratulations, Republicans, Joe the “Plumber” is dumping your ass.

Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, tells TIME he’s so outraged by GOP overspending, he’s quitting the party — and he’s the bull’s-eye of its target audience.

Fine, great! He can go be a Teabagger, or whatever, and make money sucking the balls of True American Patriots who demonstrate by the dozens outside of city halls in a variety of third-tier American cities.

But he also said he wouldn’t support any cuts in defense, Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid — which, along with debt payments, would put more than two-thirds of the budget off limits.

Jesus christ, even Joe the Plumber is a socialist now. Somebody get him a Senate Committee chair!

Republicans in the Wilderness: Is the Party Over? [TIME]

Related video

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Custerwolf May 7, 2009 at 12:06 pm

Joe’s either gotta lay off the estrogen or grow his hair out.

sweetcandy May 7, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Wait….so now Joe the fake plumber is in favor of Social Security and Medicare?

I knew that tard was a closet socialist.

magic titty May 7, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Joe the Hey Aren’t You Fucking Dead, Already?

facehead May 7, 2009 at 12:10 pm

Hail the new Emperor of Hawaii!

BigIrish May 7, 2009 at 12:11 pm

What in the sam hill is going on with these social conservatives? Calm the eff down, seriously.

snideinplainsight May 7, 2009 at 12:13 pm


Blender May 7, 2009 at 12:13 pm

Hannity could probably use another fluffer. Just sayin’.

earnestcivilservant May 7, 2009 at 12:13 pm

Publicity ploy to keep his name in the news. If it works, Levi Johnston will be the next Republican to disavow the party.

19kevin8 May 7, 2009 at 12:15 pm

[re=310717]sweetcandy[/re]: He was actually a socialist-commie-fascist-democrt party plant, sewn to wreak havoc within the ranks of the true-believer-real-Murrikan-Jeebus party.

thefrontpage May 7, 2009 at 12:15 pm

He also said in an interview that he thinks gay people are “queers,” and he would not allow a person of that particular persuasion to go anywhere near his children—and that is a true statement.

Again: The above stuff is true. He actually said it. In fact, it’s being broadcast nationwide all over the news media today!!!

proudgrampa May 7, 2009 at 12:16 pm

Seriously? TIME sought him out for an interview? Why?

ManchuCandidate May 7, 2009 at 12:16 pm

Say it ain’t so, Joe.

snideinplainsight May 7, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Bristol Palin said she would abstain from having sex with him! Because of the baldness and the socialism!

Custerwolf May 7, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Joe Worthlessbacker’s next tour will be called: ‘What’s Wrong with America.’
It’s a one man show where Joe sits in a chair staring stupidly at the audience.

Custerwolf May 7, 2009 at 12:18 pm

[re=310731]proudgrampa[/re]: It had too much of itself on its hands.

rev_matt_y May 7, 2009 at 12:18 pm

He was on Real Time a few weeks back, the first time I’d ever heard more than a soundbite of him. Wow. Dumber than advertised.

americanscandoanything May 7, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Evidently being a republicant was too much “work’ for poor Joe.

BTW Has anyone ever seen Mrs. Joe the Plumber?
She must have some great stories to tell

steverino247 May 7, 2009 at 12:19 pm

How do you get a job like that? Seriously. He must be making a living at it or is he feeding off bar nuts at each hotel he gets comped into by talk shows and airplane snacks.

freakishlystrong May 7, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Joe the Publicity whore’s 15 minutes up yet, Jesus.

StripesAndPlaids May 7, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Somebody really should snake his drain.

Tra May 7, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Every time I read a headline about Joe, I wish I could be the one reading it to John McCain. Shouldn’t he be chasing Joe across the icy wastes of the Artic Circle by now?

I can’t wait to see which cult/militia movement he joins.

Blender May 7, 2009 at 12:21 pm

Wait, what ever happened to “Vito the Mechanic” or whoever the fuck that other GOP twatwaffle was that they kept shuffling out to drool in front of the teabaggers? Is he still on board?

Who’s next to abandon them? Who? Who?

trondant May 7, 2009 at 12:22 pm

[re=310737]americanscandoanything[/re]: If the slob won’t pay his taxes, do you really think he’s gonna shell out a whopping $40 or $60 to marry the love of his life? Pffft.

proudgrampa May 7, 2009 at 12:24 pm

[re=310735]Custerwolf[/re]: You are a riot! Hugs…

Woodwards Friend May 7, 2009 at 12:24 pm

[re=310736]rev_matt_y[/re]: Yeah he kept TALKING about how he wants action not talk. I was waiting for Bill Maher to point out that while Wurtzlebacher was “talking” Obama was taking “action” on an $800,000,000,000 stimulus package. But I’m sure Sam promised to suck Maher’s balls after the show if he went easy on him. Bill Maher would never pass up an opportunity like that

Tommmcatt May 7, 2009 at 12:26 pm


I would like to make that pledge as well, please.

WadISay May 7, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Quite a scare you gave me, Wonkette. For a horrible minute I thought he had gone Dem.

[re=310746]Blender[/re]: Lovely Meg McCabe

RoscoePColtraine May 7, 2009 at 12:29 pm

This is probably going to get me banned from Wonkette, but I just gotta say, I would totally let Joe the Plumber fuck me. Fucking. It’s about control. Especially when your the one that takes it, you can get dudes eating out of your hand.

No, I’d just let him fuck me because I go for bald dudes. Stupider the better.

Alldat May 7, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Leave Joetheplumber alone! (Sob)

Seriously. Just leave him alone and let him go away, fergawdssake.

freakishlystrong May 7, 2009 at 12:30 pm

[re=310740]freakishlystrong[/re]: Asshat, finish your sentances, tune co-workers out.

Hawaiiexpat May 7, 2009 at 12:31 pm

I can’t remember the end of this joke:

Arlen Specter, Joe Lieberman, and Joe-the-Plumber walk into a bar….

freakishlystrong May 7, 2009 at 12:31 pm

I can’t believe I actually agree with JTP about something…

Gorillionaire May 7, 2009 at 12:32 pm

From the Time article;
The RNC is about to vote on a kindergartenish resolution to change the name of its opponent to the Democrat Socialist Party.
That made me laugh laugh laugh, oh to laugh.
Also, a big time SC Republican congresscritter is gayly named Hugh Leatherman, which also made me laugh.

queeraselvis v 2.0 May 7, 2009 at 12:34 pm

[re=310730]thefrontpage[/re]: Poor Joe is proceeding from a logical fallacy, to wit: 1) he will have children and 2) gays (erm, “queers”) will want to be around them. Funny that I don’t see either of those things happening, so win-win!

bureaucrap May 7, 2009 at 12:37 pm

[re=310735]Custerwolf[/re]: I sometimes get too much of myself on my hands too. Yick.

SmutBoffin May 7, 2009 at 12:38 pm

Future generations will look back on these years following the installation of the Caliphate of Soetero (PBuH) and see in Sam/Joe an interesting human artifact. A man to dumb to understand the societal changes going on around him, but opportunistic enough to make a living spouting his retarded opinions. Like our generation’s Billy Carter or something.

Jollity May 7, 2009 at 12:38 pm

[re=310730]thefrontpage[/re]: But he had (he did use the past tense, yes) imaginary gay friends who he would never let near his children, and they know this and are, one assumes, okay with it. But I feel it’s much easier for a complete fabrication to forgive their friend’s slavering homophobia than for a real person to do so.

I am also reminded that giving this tit-head any more air time (or web space) is only prolonging our exposure to his droop-tongued stupidity.

V572625694 May 7, 2009 at 12:40 pm

[re=310750]Woodwards Friend[/re]: Are you saying that Bill Maher is a sanctimonious asshat who isn’t half as smart as he thinks he is? Are you saying that the “panel discussions” on his show are the greatest waste of electrons ever conceived? Are you saying that he masturbates into a pillow just before doing each show?

Cuz all of those are true, oddly enough. It was no accident he had Wurtzelweasel on his show: the recognized each other.

x111e7thst May 7, 2009 at 12:40 pm

[re=310756]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: As long as it’s not in public where it might scare the children or the horses.

SmutBoffin May 7, 2009 at 12:40 pm

[re=310769]SmutBoffin[/re]: Then those future generations will shrug and go back to masturbating to their outer-space ROBOT PORN OF THE FUTURE.

V572625694 May 7, 2009 at 12:42 pm

[re=310715]Custerwolf[/re]: How’s that manuscript coming?

queeraselvis v 2.0 May 7, 2009 at 12:43 pm

[re=310770]Jollity[/re]: What Sam forgets is that the more pronounced his homophobia is, the more likely he is to be part of the club. Not that that’s any consolation for us real queers, mind you.

[re=310756]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: PICS OR DIDN’T HAPPEN. Also.

V572625694 May 7, 2009 at 12:45 pm

[re=310774]V572625694[/re]: “they recognized each other,” Typo Boy.

S.Luggo May 7, 2009 at 12:46 pm

“he’s so outraged by GOP overspending” (I can hear his tiny feet stamp.)

Anyroad, and that “overspending” happened when? Joe-the-time-tripper.

x111e7thst May 7, 2009 at 12:49 pm

[re=310780]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Pronounced homophobia + Widestance buttsecks = Republican
and little Joey W. has just told us he is not that any more.

heroinmule May 7, 2009 at 12:58 pm

God I’m so tired of this shoot-from-the-hip-Joe-Six-pack-earthy-provincial-plebian-wisdom thing. Ignorance has become a virtue.

AllHat May 7, 2009 at 1:00 pm

Looking forward to the day, after Persons of Any Influence have stopped returning his calls, that he tries to book a room on a declined card, and he’s seen screaming at the clerk, “don’t you know who I am!? I’m Joe the Fucking Plumber!”

SayItWithWookies May 7, 2009 at 1:01 pm

For his next stunt, J the P will move to Mexico, learn Spanish, become a Mexican citizen, then leave, outraged that the country is full of Mexicans.

RoscoePColtraine May 7, 2009 at 1:01 pm

[re=310780]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Oh, it will definitely never happen. Because Joe’s a premature jackulator.

4Sheezy4Eva May 7, 2009 at 1:05 pm

Hit it and quit it, Joe! The a Merkin way!

Is it gettting balder in here? Also.

Custerwolf May 7, 2009 at 1:05 pm

[re=310756]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Sweetie, you’re wasting your time. He has a small penis (I can tell from here) and all he’ll want to do is talk about himself while fondling his manparts. Better to just hand him a jag rag and send him on his way.
He’s definitely into ass-fucking, however, so if that blows your skirt up I say go for it, I don’t think you’d be disappointed – especially since you wouldn’t have to actually look at his face. Please just tell us you have herpes, as we need to get some kind of satisfaction out of this ourselves.

lawrenceofthedesert May 7, 2009 at 1:06 pm

After the ultra-conservatives took over the MSM from the conservatives (editors were never liberals, kids; publishers don’t allow) in the 1970′s and 1980′s, and journalism began to wither on the vine, the MSM got more and more off-target (always in the name of “marketing,” tee hee). That Time is desperate enough to talk with “Joe” is comment enough on both the state of journalism (barely surviving elsewhere, flatlined at Time-Life, Fox, ABC and most newspapers, where slants have replaced facts) and the sad state of the GOP, a party with a platform that has been outmoded and even outlawed for decades — racist, sexist, anti-abortion, and in favor of a two-class system of have’s and have not’s. Yeah, I’m being serious and that’s just tough cheese, pal; it was Pete Seeger’s 90th last week, and I’m thinking of his song, “To Everything There Is a Season (Turn Turn Turn)” and the line about “a time to snark.” Wonkette didn’t wish Pete a happy, losing dozens of valuable Lefty Points, redeemable at underground Web sites for organic veggies and composters.

widestanceromancer May 7, 2009 at 1:08 pm

Joe is so bitter over being turned down by the GOP Press for his new book: Stop Calling Me Rush When You Cum. (inspired by greatest alt-text ever right here on these pages)

Johnny Zhivago May 7, 2009 at 1:10 pm

Senate Interior Committee, Subcommittee on Heating, Ventilation and Sewage

TeddyS May 7, 2009 at 1:12 pm

Joe the Plumber, finally free of political ties, can be at your house tomorrow sometime between 7 a.m. and 10 p.m. to fix the faucet and speak of many things. Yes, he is crazy.

102415 May 7, 2009 at 1:13 pm

[re=310766]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: You’ve forgotten he has at least one son who last I heard which was back in the day last summer, lives with Joe/sam’s father. Or am I remembering some other GOP walking breathing talking point.
What I want to know is why these human talking points and I’m looking at you Sarah P. have such a difficult time parenting their children? Why doesn’t Time or Matt Lauer or who ever gives them the air time ever ask so “Do you have any advice to parents so their kids won’t turn out to be useless drop out welfare mothers and or deadbeat teenage dads?” Or maybe even “Where do you think you went wrong with Bristol and Trug?” There is no practical use for these people.

Godot May 7, 2009 at 1:16 pm

While I do believe that he is essentially a good man who let a misguided campaign get out of control and not really terrible at all, I will never forgive John McCain for unleashing this monster on us. Not until he owns up to his past mistakes and slays the beast.

Custerwolf May 7, 2009 at 1:21 pm

[re=310848]Godot[/re]: By “essentially” you mean “the opposite of” right?

Custerwolf May 7, 2009 at 1:25 pm

[re=310779]V572625694[/re]: I’m thinking it had better be profusely illustrated.

bfstevie May 7, 2009 at 1:27 pm

[re=310729]19kevin8[/re]: The same charge has been made up Dr. Bill Krystal.

TGY May 7, 2009 at 1:28 pm

“There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which taken at the flood, leads on to obscurity.”

Adios, Joe. Happy fails.

taylormattd May 7, 2009 at 1:29 pm

I loved Joe’s rendition of “Womanizer” on Good Morning America

Leopolt May 7, 2009 at 1:30 pm

He’s going to join the Whig party now.

RoscoePColtraine May 7, 2009 at 1:30 pm

[re=310822]Custerwolf[/re]: Yeah, I know what you mean. But let me try to put it another way. When you ‘control’ fuck someone, not unlike it’s close cousin, the ‘pity’ fuck, well, it’s something akin to practicing psychiatry in that, if done right, you can really really get inside someone’s head and start playing with the circuitry. The small penis? pfft! I could get past that, as long as he doesn’t have woman-ishly long fingernails. Long fingernails on a guy = DEALBREAKER. I woudn’t care if he looked as hot as Levi Johnston.

McDuff May 7, 2009 at 1:33 pm

Why, after reading this post, did the image of a 12-year old John Boehner (he had orange skin even then) calling out “Joe, come back Joe!” to a man in the distance riding away on a horse come into my head?

V572625694 May 7, 2009 at 1:40 pm

[re=310824]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: Thanks for your shout-out to Pete. Did you see that 89-year-old dude sprint off the stage after singing “This Land is Your Land” at Hopey’s big show? And he sang these verses, the ones all the wingnuts don’t even know:

As I was walkin’ – I saw a sign there
And that sign said – no tresspassin’
But on the other side …. it didn’t say nothin!
Now that side was made for you and me!

In the squares of the city – In the shadow of the steeple
Near the relief office – I see my people
And some are grumblin’ and some are wonderin’
If this land’s still made for you and me.

Min May 7, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Joe wants to have his cake and eat it, too. In other words, he’s still a Republican.

Custerwolf May 7, 2009 at 1:43 pm

[re=310883]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I suppose that’s where you and I differ. I’d only fuck a guy who I’d want to be friends with.

Cape Clod May 7, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Time only interviewed him because this Republican circus geek draws more attention from outraged libertards than Eric Cantor ever will. If we genuinely want the carnival pinhead to go away, we have to stop pointing and laughing at him because you know this attention whore is going to be happy to reveal his idiotic opinions for as long as anyone takes an interest in what they are.

Lord Growing May 7, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Stupid honky.

lulzmonger May 7, 2009 at 2:33 pm

[re=310922]Cape Clod[/re]:

Tru dat. Not Joe Teh Not Plumber = Mann Coulter with smaller junk & uglier outfits.

They have a bright future ahead of them as Trivial Pursuit stumpers.

JamesMichaelCurley May 7, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=310759]Hawaiiexpat[/re]: “The Aristocrats!”

Atheist Nun May 7, 2009 at 2:44 pm

[re=310750]Woodwards Friend[/re]: ‘I’m sure Sam promised to suck Maher’s balls after the show if he went easy on him. Bill Maher would never pass up an opportunity like that…’

Bill Maher will fuck anything, and I do mean anything, but I’m pretty sure he’d draw the line at getting his balls sucked by residual campaign garbage like Joe “Joe” “Samuel “Joe The Plumber” Wurzelbacher” “The Plumber” Wurzelbacher.

Then again…

problemwithcaring May 7, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=310715]Custerwolf[/re]: At least it’s a different shirt…

Suds McKenzie May 7, 2009 at 3:56 pm

So I can expect to see him on “the Rachel” tonight, after Arlen Spector, and Govenor lets all smoke the reefer Arnold?

Suds McKenzie May 7, 2009 at 3:57 pm

oops, she’s one of them “queers”!

jimmynail May 7, 2009 at 4:09 pm

[re=310902]V572625694[/re]: Yeah, the guy’s still a card-carrying CP member, and clearly a bit of a fascist in his own way, but when I saw him singing those verses at the Hopey Shindig I bawled my stupid fucking British eyes right out.

El Pinche May 7, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Bruno May 7, 2009 at 4:53 pm

I honestly had no knowledge of “Ben10″ until about a week ago. Now it turns out Plumbers are the most important part of their world. What message is this sending to our 3-8 year olds?

It’s about time we had a Plumber Party. Then SnowBilly (or her kin) will have to suck him off to be a member (he don’t be likin’ queers)

boy_howdy May 7, 2009 at 6:12 pm

[re=310880]Leopolt[/re]: The Whig party? Too highbrow.
He’ll now join the Know-Nothings.

ladymacbeth May 7, 2009 at 6:25 pm

That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

TeddyS May 7, 2009 at 9:16 pm

Sads. Joe will have to crawl back to Rush now, right behind Colin and Arlen.

jaba the slut May 7, 2009 at 10:18 pm

He could relinquish the detachable TruckNutz, grow his her long, and become Josephine McPlumerthe.

hobospacejunkie May 7, 2009 at 10:25 pm

[re=311242]El Pinche[/re]: Bareback talks as dumb as she looks. Joe made an ‘ignoramus statement.’ I see. And apparently there is a never-ending party going on around her to which JtP is no longer invited. Maybe the party’s in her pants.

“I think this is an ignoramus statement,” Hasselbeck said. “In that specified corner to which he had a life during this election, I was even a person who thought, you know what, power to Joe the Plumber at that point. Well, Joe the Plumber is not invited anywhere around me.”

animalmagnetism May 7, 2009 at 10:34 pm

[re=310887]McDuff[/re]: Now I’m crying.

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