RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  5:10 pm May 6, 2009

Ahh, Someone At Pajamas Media Got A Hold Of Final Cut Pro!

by Juli Weiner

  • Do you want to take a ride about the “Zobama Xpress,” a children’s school bus that apparently runs on racism, dry ice, and tone deafness? Yes we can! [The Washington Independent via Andrew Sullivan]
  • New GOP Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Rush Limbaugh is now demanding that Colin Powell become a democrat. [CNN Political Ticker]
  • Probationary adult Michael Steele was secretly forced to relinquish basically all rights responsibilities and powers of his terrible new job. [Daily Kos]
  • Ketchup heiress John Kerry has gravely offended America’s newspapers, by casually remarking upon their demise. [HuffPost]
  • And speaking of newspapers, why is the Anchorage Daily News trying to hold Sarah Palin down by insisting upon publishing stories about her? [RedState]
 
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{ 41 comments }

rj77 May 6, 2009 at 5:15 pm

GOP Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Rush Limbaugh…

Juli wins the day.

V572625694 May 6, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Are you out there, [re=309731]smartypants[/re]? Tonight our topic is federal installations in the states.

Accordion-o-rama May 6, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Actually, Steele retains control of 3/5 of the GOP fund.

SayItWithWookies May 6, 2009 at 5:20 pm

If she is out of state and Redoubt blows its top, the media and the anti-Palin forces will blame every potential death, injury or dollar lost on her, when in reality it would make no difference one way or another whether she were in the state or beyond its borders if and when the incident occurred.

But…but…who would command the Alaska National Guard in her absence? Oh, right — the same person who commands it when she’s in state. Carry on.

Joshua Norton May 6, 2009 at 5:22 pm

You know why there are no Republicans in the new Star Trek movie?

Because it’s set in the future.

queeraselvis v 2.0 May 6, 2009 at 5:24 pm

Relax, Alaskans. Palinco has already appeased the angry gods of Redoubt by offering up Levi as a virgin sacrifice. What? Oh.

Suds McKenzie May 6, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Poor Michael Steel. I heard the Arabian Horse Association is hiring.

ChernobylSoup May 6, 2009 at 5:32 pm

[re=310067]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Nice!

charlesdegoal May 6, 2009 at 5:32 pm

Juli, regarding the Zobama Express, perhaps you should have checked Wonkette, about an hour ago.

daisy chain May 6, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Why is the GOP just a giant death camp for comedy?

That copy of Atlas Shrugged was committing suicide because so many illiterates have abused and embarrassed it by pretending they have actually spent time with it. It’d be like having every crackhead in town go around swearing you sucked their dicks for crack. Or something like that.

ronaldpagan May 6, 2009 at 5:38 pm

It will be fun when Limbaugh and his friends drive all the moderate Republicans out, and then all the real Republicans (i.e. the ones who don’t think Limbaugh is a repugnant junkie fatass) secede from the nation.

dijetlo May 6, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Rush Limbaugh is now demanding that Colin Powell become a democrat.

If they’ll take Arlen back, I think we can deal.

AxmxZ May 6, 2009 at 5:42 pm

“New GOP Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Rush Limbaugh is now demanding that Colin Powell become a democrat.”

If he’s the new DADA teacher, something’s bound to happen to him within a year. The job is cursed.

smartypants May 6, 2009 at 5:46 pm

[re=310065]V572625694[/re]: I’m here until the military vodka runs out or until someone here takes my computer away. Don’t go changin’ if my responses are late.

[re=310087]daisy chain[/re]: Goddammit, I loved that book when I was a slip of a girl…many a hot,wet night with Dagny and the boys….now–RUINED by the GOP Bible spankers.

Min May 6, 2009 at 5:54 pm

In my mind, I see Rush dressed like Dolores Umbridge, and I laugh and laugh and laugh.

WadISay May 6, 2009 at 5:58 pm

Rush just now realized that Powell was black?

Bearbloke May 6, 2009 at 6:12 pm

“Get yer ‘Michael “Step-In-It-N-Fetch-It” Steele’ pickaninny dolls right here at RushLand – the Fattest Place on Earth!”…

pat robertsons personal trainer May 6, 2009 at 6:13 pm

When’s he going to demand the dope smokin’ Austrian governor of California (and Hollyweird queer) leave?

Min May 6, 2009 at 6:17 pm

Michael, when are you going to learn? They just don’t like you.

magic titty May 6, 2009 at 6:19 pm

My God. Can’t we just get Juli her own show at this point? “Ketchup heiress John Kerry” is one beautifully wrought phrase.

More Intern Juli posts, plz.

imissopus May 6, 2009 at 6:39 pm

[re=310149]pat robertsons personal trainer[/re]: Not going to happen. Arnold just publicly stated he thinks we should discuss legalizing pot and no self-respecting drug addict is going to publicly slam him for anything for at least a little while.

Of course this assumes Rush has any self-respect. I probably wouldn’t if I weighed half a metric ton, but that’s just me.

j6n May 6, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Can anyone tell the difference between Rush Limbaugh and Joe McCarthy? What a douche. I apologize for the lack of snark, but we actually do need more than one party in this country.

smartypants May 6, 2009 at 6:52 pm

[re=310190]j6n[/re]: Since we’re in a no snark zone here—The difference? McCarthy actually believed in what he was doing, twisted as it was. Earnest (McCarthy) plus evil idea doesn’t make it, but Cynical (Rush) plus evil ideas=$$$$$$$$$$$$

As long as $$$$$$$$$$$$ is the end goal, what’s to keep him from saying/doing anything?

Czn939 May 6, 2009 at 7:39 pm

“It represents the first time in memory that rebel members of the Republican Party’s national governing body have successfully taken on the party’s historically powerful national chairman and his loyalists.”

All this and no Stah Woaz referrence?
I demand buttsecks!

hobospacejunkie May 6, 2009 at 8:00 pm

[re=310161]magic titty[/re]: Agreed. And it was so subtle my pea brain didn’t catch it. Thanks for pointing this out. And ALL HAIL JULI! Also.

hobospacejunkie May 6, 2009 at 8:05 pm

[re=310190]j6n[/re]: We do need more than one party. I would say we need several, but that’s not likely, so back in the real world…

We do need more than one party. But that 2nd party should no longer be the Republican Party. The blue dog DINO Dems should slough off and form a new conservative party. And give it a catchy name, like the No Principles Party, or NPP. Or maybe the Zero/0 Principles Party, or 0PP. Everyone will remember that name. You vote 0PP? Yeah you know me.

Georgia Burning May 6, 2009 at 8:15 pm

[re=310190]j6n[/re]: Dominican prostitutes

j6n May 6, 2009 at 9:11 pm

[re=310278]Georgia Burning[/re]: Touche

Pop Socket May 6, 2009 at 9:24 pm

Is Rush saying that the token slot is filled and Colin isn’t needed any more? That’s mighty white of him.

DangerousLiberal May 6, 2009 at 10:02 pm

[re=310059]rj77[/re]: I love this. Fatter than Snape, but oilier too.

Also, the ADN “left leaning?” Once upon a time, there was a paper called the Anchorage Times, the owner of which, Bob Atwood, was wholly owned by the oil companies and the Alyeska Pipeline Service company. Then the ADN, which almost died,because it did good journalism that no one except the Pulitzer Committee wanted to read, got bought by McClatchy in 1979, big money rolled in, and, ultimately, the Times was toast. Not because of the Tubes, but because it was a shitty paper that published oil company press releases as page one news. Then it got even shittier when Veco bought it.

And yet, after the ADN bought the Times and shut it down, and gave some of their local editorialist nutters a shot at a weekly opinion page, the journalism shriveled and died at the ADN. To call them left leaning is to suggest that they have any agenda at all. They do: get Cal Worthington’s Ford dealership to buy more ads (on the tubes, also). They’re only left leaning if you compare it to the Völkischer Beobachter–or the Wall Street Journal.

/pedantic journalism history lesson. As you were.

agitpropster May 6, 2009 at 10:04 pm

Re: Washington Independent video

I knew my NARAS membership would come in handy again even though the music business is in the toilet. Three years ago I got the GOP in a shitload of legal trouble when they used the beautiful instrumental intro to The Low Spark Of High-Heeled Boys by Traffic for the background music to one of their vile propaganda web videos without permission,/i> I called BMI Music Publishing and Jim Capaldi’s (the songwriter) widow in England and she went absolutely ballistic. I copied her response – or rather her lawyer’s response – to Keith Olbermann and he made Ed Rollins a Worst Person that night because of it. The next day – *POOF!* no more copyright-infringing video on the GOP website.

Anybody care to wager that those morons did NOT get permission to use Under My Thumb for this racist trash? Tomorrow, there’s gonna be another call to BMI and to The Rolling Stones publishing company in London. Let’s see just how fast these troglodytes pull this video offline.

Fucking thieves.

agitpropster May 6, 2009 at 10:06 pm

Whoops. HTML skills a little rusty tonight.

imissopus May 6, 2009 at 10:19 pm

[re=310361]agitpropster[/re]: I think this could legitimately be categorized as satire. Unfunny as the plague, but satire nonetheless.

agitpropster May 6, 2009 at 10:56 pm

[re=310368]imissopus[/re]: Unfortunately, after my public legal battle with FAUX News over my tee-shirts that they LOST, I am somewhat of an expert on the law, satire and what constitutes “fair use.” After the landmark 1978 Supreme Court ruling of Falwell vs. Flynt, et al, the legitimate satirization of logos, the text of published works and music lyrics would no longer be considered copyright infringement and became “fair use.”

Actual music, however, is not covered by that ruling. Use of a copyrighted tune without permission for any reason is still illegal, but in this case there are no ads on their site and it could be argued that there is no monetary gain involved.

That being said, this video is about as funny as an orphanage on fire and they are still Wingnut Sore Loser Assholes.

Bruno May 7, 2009 at 5:52 am

So is it fair to say that Michael Steel has become a puppet?

In a way I feel bad for him because I don’t think there is a puppetmaster and he’s just going to sit there all limp on the shelf.

teleken May 7, 2009 at 7:39 am

[re=310384]agitpropster[/re]: Richard – link doesn’t work, and I’m interested.

heroinmule May 7, 2009 at 9:31 am

My favorite Michael Steele moment occurred while he was on some horrid Fox show. He declared the Millenials a worthless generation because HIS son has a work ethic of the Meaghan Mccain variety. Buddy, I think this is more of a parenting issue than a generational one.

agitpropster May 7, 2009 at 11:56 am

[re=310507]teleken[/re]: My apologies to all. THIS is how teh FAUX News Legal Department made me $36,000 in q night after one 30-second plug on Olbermann’s show.

Thanks, morons!

My favorite blurb was in Salon: “Even in a down economy, there are some business models that still work – selling T-shirts comparing Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly to Hitler, for example.”

I sure wish you could preview posts here. My eyesight just isn’t what it used to be.

agitpropster May 7, 2009 at 12:04 pm

[re=310507]teleken[/re]: The link to the .PDF works…you might have to shift-click on it.

IonaTrailer May 7, 2009 at 5:39 pm

[re=310073]Joshua Norton[/re]:

SNAP!!

Accordion-o-rama May 11, 2009 at 5:37 pm

test č

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