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THAT'S NOT VERY SANITARY

Death-Flu Chickens Roosting Outside White House

Oh god oh god somebody tell the president! A family of filthy “birds” (that is common DC parlance for “tree rats”) has infiltrated the White House grounds. We must douse these animals in hand sanitizer, or boil them, or else just move them into a confined space with Joe Biden. [CNN]


3:50 PM on Mon May 4 2009
By Sara K. Smith
1057 Views

  1. smartypants says at 3:52 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Twitter. twit, twit. twitter.

  2. SayItWithWookies says at 3:55 pm, May 4th, 2009

    This is the fault of Michelle’s organic garden. Nature attracts more nature, and sooner than you know your yard is filled with bees, birds, flowers and associated vermin. The sooner they put the oil well and spillage holding pond in, the better.

  3. Bearbloke says at 3:56 pm, May 4th, 2009

    No doubt, placed there by Dick “Birdman of Wyoming” Cheney…

  4. sati demise says at 3:56 pm, May 4th, 2009

    We really need to dose these birds with non-therapeutic antibiotics every day.

    Only then will they be able to fulfill their natural role in incubating the mutation and evolution of a new super flu virus.

  5. Bearbloke says at 3:56 pm, May 4th, 2009

    smartypants: Twat!

  6. Come here a minute says at 3:57 pm, May 4th, 2009

    There is some awesome White House journalism. How did these guys miss the important questions in the run-up to the Iraq War?

  7. Bruno says at 3:57 pm, May 4th, 2009

    So is it fair to say no wildlife has been present on White House grounds for 8 years? (not counting furries)

  8. Bruno says at 3:59 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Bearbloke: Do you mean they are super secret spy birdz?

  9. smartypants says at 4:04 pm, May 4th, 2009

    twatter. twat. twat. twatter.

  10. LittlePig says at 4:05 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Bruno: Two words. Jeff Gannon.

    Your Honor, the defense rests.

  11. charlesdegoal says at 4:05 pm, May 4th, 2009

    This “news” is over week old. Also, “Robin and Her Chicks” could be the name of an all-girl dance band.

  12. Nature. **shudder**

  13. DeLand DeLakes says at 4:11 pm, May 4th, 2009

    A close-up photo of one of those newborn birds is going to wind up on an airborne banner over Notre Dame this week, I just know it.

  14. rambone says at 4:11 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Methinks CNN is just working its way up to showing some big black cocks now that Barry is in the hizzy.

    Roosters, yeah, that’s what I meant.

  15. Texan Bulldoggette says at 4:11 pm, May 4th, 2009

    I figured Barry would attract hipper birds…Robins are so white bread.

  16. swgm says at 4:13 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Perfect way to make sure the mother abandons the chicks: stick a camera DIRECTLY into her nest. Good thing you got that footage, though, CNN, so we can see what nature used to look like once the Obama Antichrist’s festering muslin liberal fascist New World Order destroys everyone and everything.

    (Did I do that right? I’m still new here.)

  17. LittlePig says at 4:14 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Texan Bulldoggette: Perhaps they are Cock Robins.

  18. Carrie_Okie says at 4:15 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Is killing Mockingbirds still a sin?

  19. chascates says at 4:16 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Should have left the raccoons there. Now they’ll have to import bobcats to take care of the birds.

  20. Mild Midwesterner says at 4:16 pm, May 4th, 2009

    All of Bill Clinton’s birds had bigger asses.

  21. smartypants says at 4:20 pm, May 4th, 2009

    swgm: I’m rather new myself. At least you have an avatar.

  22. freakishlystrong says at 4:21 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Aww..this is just some lame attempt to get a “Dark Knight” reference in there, right CNN???

  23. ChernobylSoup says at 4:22 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Dumbass new president is doing it wrong. You gotta collect the robin eggs early if you want to make a proper omelet.

  24. choinski says at 4:28 pm, May 4th, 2009

    So the press finds something wonderful, shoves a camera in its face (or this case, bush) and smothers it until its dead. Or until we hate it and revel in its disgrace.

  25. Bliz says at 4:34 pm, May 4th, 2009

    I would just like to point out what’s happening at the very end: the baby bird is pooping out a little sac of excrement and the mother robin is carrying it away. When the babies are younger she eats the sacs.

  26. Monsieur Grumpe says at 4:40 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Someone needs to put up a tiny little Mission Accomplished banner next to the nest.

  27. 51dimes says at 4:44 pm, May 4th, 2009

    choinski: THIS IS CUTE AND YOU WILL LIKE IT, NOW BY VIAGRA.

    That’s what my Radio/TV journalism degree taught me anyways.

  28. The Schadenfried PAC says at 4:45 pm, May 4th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: …and associated vermin.

    How is this attracting Republicans…oh wait, nevermind.

  29. June Cleaver 2.0 says at 4:46 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Of course Robins are wholesomely chirp chirping outside of Obama’s home. When Bush was there, there was a nest of do-do birds. Cheney’s birds still come out at night — bats.

  30. SayItWithWookies says at 4:46 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Bliz: Oh, dear — they’re probably disposable.

  31. The Schadenfried PAC says at 4:48 pm, May 4th, 2009

    The RNC will now identify the Robin as the Gay Negro Socialist Muslin Bird, and will encourge small-balled Americans (people with arsenals of guns) to hunt them.

  32. smartypants says at 5:07 pm, May 4th, 2009
  33. Spiderfrommars says at 5:11 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Those are some TARP-sized worms, is all I’m saying. Are the robins in YOUR neighborhood flying around with worms that size ? I thought not. Birds and worms obvs planted for a cheerful, morning-in-amerikka MSM feel-good story intended to divert attention from whatever mayhem your socialisty boyfriend Barry is up to with his Guns Of Steel wifey. Also.

  34. WadISay says at 5:30 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Dodos are nesting outside Michele Bachmann’s window.

  35. AxmxZ says at 5:34 pm, May 4th, 2009

    WadISay: I resent this insult to dodos. The only thing they’ve got in common with the Republicans is they were both giant cocks.

  36. slithytoves says at 5:43 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Bad pet decision. Someone should have gotten a cat; nothing beats watching them on the prowl, or cleaning up vomited bird detritus on the carpet. Good nature footage for the kiddies, too.

  37. Custerwolf says at 5:51 pm, May 4th, 2009

    slithytoves: To illustrate how complusive a recycler I am - whenever my cats bring bird entrails into the trailer, I open their crops, empty out the seed and put it back in the feeder.

  38. slithytoves says at 5:54 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Wow, that’s just…wow.

  39. smartypants says at 5:54 pm, May 4th, 2009

    slithytoves: Oh yez. My own little terrorista would EATS that twitter spy, then drag it forth unto the steps of my abode and display it proudly. Probably have a little muslin flag stuck in it for plate presentation.

  40. slithytoves says at 5:55 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Okay - now I’m over my gag reflex. Thank you.

  41. slithytoves says at 5:59 pm, May 4th, 2009

    smartypants: They can do even better - I once tracked down screaming sounds to my garage where my cat had nailed a baby rabbit. I killed it with a shovel. The rabbit, I mean. There. Who said libruls were bleeding hearts?

  42. smartypants says at 5:59 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Custerwolf: Yeah, that’s what my birdfeeder directions said, too.

  43. smartypants says at 6:04 pm, May 4th, 2009

    slithytoves: Cats are so cute–and they vote in my state.

  44. slithytoves says at 6:07 pm, May 4th, 2009

    smartypants: New Hampshire?

  45. smartypants says at 6:14 pm, May 4th, 2009
  46. Spiderfrommars says at 6:18 pm, May 4th, 2009

    smartypants: slithytoves: My libtard city pussies stay inside but today the feral backyard cat left the best parts of a dove for me. A freaking DOVE fer chrrisakes!…even the cats can’t help busting out with the leaden political “wit”.

  47. Spiderfrommars says at 6:20 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Custerwolf: My libtard city pussies stay inside but today the feral backyard cat left the best parts of a dove for me. A freaking DOVE fer chrrisakes!…even the cats can’t help busting out with the leaden political “wit”. Also.

  48. smartypants says at 6:21 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Spiderfrommars: Circle of Life, man, circle. of. life.

  49. Custerwolf says at 6:47 pm, May 4th, 2009

    For the record - robin babies are not called chicks. They are either hatchlings, fledgings, or lunchmeat for kitties. They are NOT chicks.

  50. sarcasticusername says at 8:27 pm, May 4th, 2009

    firs the raccoons, now birds; there was a duck and her ducklings there today as well. they seem to have a bit of a pest problem over there; i guess that’s what happens when you let negroes move in.

  51. smartypants says at 11:03 pm, May 4th, 2009

    sarcasticusername: Heh!!11

    Song of the South is just begging the question here.

    Brer Robin
    Brer Duck
    Brer Portuguese Water Dog

    Ask Jeff ‘Boy’ Sessions…he’ll have some good ones…

    I’d add him to my Western Ken Doll collection, but he’s too short. Also, he is not Western. I believe he prefers an Eastern grip.

  52. schvitzatura says at 11:58 pm, May 4th, 2009

    Robin v6.0 (cue to 2:02; “Mysteries Of Love” J. Cruise: D. Lynch/A. Badalamenti, as provided by David Lynch.

    It’s a strange world, isn’t it?

  53. paxpax says at 2:54 am, May 5th, 2009

    ….uh….does someone want to tell CNN this is a male robin? (and not a ‘her’)

  54. Magsbe says at 3:40 am, May 5th, 2009

    paxpax: Yet more breakdown of traditional gender roles! Fucking liberals, ruining everything.

  55. Scooter says at 4:52 am, May 5th, 2009

    Everyone in D.C. knows “what goes around comes around”, so why the surprise at finding a nesting ‘Turdus migratorius’?

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