Wonkette
- Hey crazies! Here is an idea: the next time you are tempted to kill your whole family, including your little children, before you kill yourself? Just kill yourself. Your family will be able to live without you. [AP]
- Does our new president (Arlen Specter) want Hillary Clinton to replace Justice Souter on the Supreme Court? [New York Daily News]
- Even though the pig flu has not come to Egypt, and even though you can’t get pig flu from eating pigs, the Egyptian government wants all the pigs in the country slaughtered. Pig farmers are not so happy about this. [CNN]
- Amazon will now save our struggling newspaper industry by producing a larger-screened Kindle reader for easy newspaper viewing. Meanwhile, Richard Cohen rolls in his grave, because you can’t print the Internet newspaper from your Kindle. [eWeek]
- Say goodbye to your precious offshore tax havens, rich people. [Wall Street Journal]
- Having bought a sizable chunk of Chrysler, Fiat would now like to own GM’s European operations. [New York Time]
Still don’t get it… what exactly is the market for pigs in Egypt. Seriously asking here and too damn lazy to look it up myself.
She can’t be put on the Supreme Court, a justice has NEVER gone on to run for president before! Then again, neither had a first lady…
I, for one, welcome our new Italian overlords.
Woo hoo! Two hour lunches and wine at breakfast for everyone!
HaHa! The guy from Campaign2008 who everyone hates and who isn’t Rudy Giuliani is under investigation:
Feds are looking at Edwards’ campaign
ChernobylSoup: I imagine they eat them. Remember: Egypt is 20% Coptic Christian, and they have no problem eating pork.
Justice Souter should be replaced by the late Jack Kemp, immediately creating a SECOND vacancy for Obama to fill. Also, if justice doesn’t come from judges, all of them should probably be slaughtered like so many Egyptian pigs.
I hope Fiat does buy Chrysler. When Daimler-Benz bought them, my 1997 Sebring became a German luxury car. When they sold them, it became a regular old American clunker. Now if Fiat buys Chrysler, my Sebring will become an Italian sports car!
Fiat! Hurry up and buy before the check-engine light comes on again!
There are still rich people? Outside of Bill Gates and Paris Hilton?
Ok, I know that I’m supposed to be grossed out by that photo of a rare piece of beef, but I can’t help thinking how delicious it would be with grilled onions and mushrooms on the side. I’m going to have to stop at the grocery store on the way home from work and buy a steak to cook for dinner.
FMA:
Also! Death to Olive Garden!
Haha. People are beginning to give the flu back to the pigs from whence it came. Now they can recombine it and give it back to people. This is fun!
Bring out your dead. Also.
All my friends from the Gulf pig out on Bacon when they leave their respective countries. Think as Egypt’s pig farms as kind of like Mexico growing shitloads of weed. They smuggle in that Bacon into the Gulf and sell it for hashish like prices. And there’s nothing tastier than illegal bacon.
Oh goodie!!!! more populist rage against “U.S.-based multinational corporations and wealthy individuals.” My nipples get hard when I see bankers and CEOs fear for their lives.
I 2nd SKS’s motion that crazy dads off themselves first. The mom that was killed in Middletown played in my kickball league, very sad. Perhaps the Egyptians can kill off the crazy dads and spare the tasty, crispy bacon.
“$700 billion or more in U.S. corporate earnings have accumulated in overseas accounts in recent years.”
What a waste,. With that amount of cash we could have another perfectly good war.
I want to be there when the first redneck brings in his Ram Charger for an oil change and the mechanic says, “Jes, zis zing, eet ees werry deefeecult.”
Larry McAwful: Fix It Again Tony???
ChernobylSoup: In Egypt the pigs are mostly kept by the people who pick up the garbage. The pigs eat whatever is edible and then get sold as meat to Egypt’s Christion population. The non edible parts of the garbage get recycled. In Egypt it’s a living. Gah.
The Florida story is just more proof that we American need to have more guns in our homes. Please, parents, make sure your babies are packing heat, to defend themselves from you and the monsters under their beds, also.
If those anti-meat people think I’m going to start eating a fistful of credit cards, I need some celebrity to tell me how tasty they are first.
x111e7thst: Christian population
note to self - learn to spell
x111e7thst: Larry McAwful: I always forget about the Coptics for some reason. Thank you both; I probably could have thought it through myself but I’m hung over, as usual.
ChernobylSoup: Same thing we do with our pigs here in the US - they elect them to office.
x111e7thst: Thanks for clearing that up. I thought you were referring to “Christ ions,” which are part of the molecules they teach you about in biochemistry classes where Intelligent [sic] Design is taught.
I could have aced chemistry if we had Intelligent [sic] Design back in the ’80s. If you get hung up, you just have to add “…and then a miracle happens…” and your answer is correct. Kids today have it so easy. Scientists, too.
ChernobylSoup: What you can do is seek out a Coptic Christian and ask him or her about the Apostasy of St. Mark. If you do that, you’ll never forget about the Coptics again!
Pork and hangovers can cease to be a problem if you just knuckle under to Muhammad. I’d follow the Prophet, myself, but my grandfather loved beer and pig’s knuckles, so if I ever want to see him again, I have to go to Hell. You do what you have to, you know?
A responsible crazy dad would kill another, more successful dad’s family. This will cause the successful dad to take over for unsuccessful, crazy dad, saving the family and making crazy dad a hero (but still crazy).
these crazies SHOULD kill themselves first, because sometimes they fail at doing so after they’ve killed everyone else.
http://www.wausaudailyherald.com/article/20090504/WDH0101/905040517/1981
there’s a special place in hell for these bastards.
Unlike that twatwaffle in Fl, I prefer the Denny Crane method: cigars and Scotch. oh, and pigs. Lots of chops, bacon, tenderloin and if that isn’t available, I’ll eat mad cow. Or even some of those veggies that everyone else is scared of. Either that or listen to hours of the Dueling Divas, Michelles Bachmann and Malkin.or S.Palin..that’ll make you off yourself quickly.
Larry McAwful: Not to mention the export market. Egypt produces more food than the rest of North Africa put together. Fertile Nile valley and whatnot.
Since I am currently in a communist/socialist country in Europe, Nobody is working for May Day! How come Barry hasn’t implemented this yet given his secret agenda?
Hopey isn’t going to let me open a “bank” inside a Cayman Islands’ post office box and stuff it full of untaxed cash? Damn socialist, fascist, commie, demon-spawn of Satan, now where I am going to hide my ill-gotten gains? In the freezer?
Love the subtle suggestion by Cisco Systems that taking away their tax shelters might cause them to outsource more. “Fine, fuck you, we’ll pay what we owe, if that’s what you want, but in response, we’re offloading half our U.S. workforce and taking our shit to Bangalore.” How very fine of them.
Did the Florida guy who shot his family not realize that Mother’s Day is THIS FUCKING SUNDAY?
ChernobylSoup: No shit. Isn’t Egypt one of those scary Muslim countries?
Also, pigs are dirty beasts. I learned this from Pulp Fiction. Everything I learned in life was from this, and from Animal House. You know, in France, a quarter pounder with cheese is a Royale with Cheese? And that in the movies in Belgium, you can drink beer out of a glass? Cool!
Still, WTF with the pigs in Egypt. Quentin, can you help us out with this one?
Have I mentioned how fucking great the Amazon Kindle is? Awesome.
Looks like the Times has upped the ante on Amazon by raising the price of the daily edition to $2. Genius.
We’re going to have to change that joke now so the punchline is “In hell, the Italians are the mechanics, the Americans are the bankers, the Saudis are the lovers — ” or something. It’s a work in progress.
ChernobylSoup: And yeah, the pork producers in Egypt are all Christians. The BBC had several articles about it this past week, and the pig slaughter pretty much smacks of “something’s wrong, let’s persecute the Christians,” which is pretty much the story of Egyptian Coptics for a long long time. For a few days there the Egyptian government was saying it wasn’t going to compensate the pig farmers because the meat could be sold on the market — which pretty much defeated the purpose of the cull in the first place. But having an authoritarian government means not having to worry too much about such contradictions.
Speaking of killing your own chilluns, don’t forget to vote many times today for our candidate:
http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/5641-general/suggestions/179880-fight-to-elect-neal-horsley.
Christian swine are set to go to the porcine get-beyond! Damn. Who’ll stop the rain, Neal? Who’ll stop the rain?
And why are Eyptian mules now looking so nervous?
Mr Blifil: He couldn’t wait another 5 weeks for the correct holiday.
S.Luggo: I meant “great-beyond”. My eyes were filled with tears.
Terry: Really. Maybe PETA should stop grossing-out vegetarians. Preaching to the choir, isn’t it?
Mmmmm…bacon. Chocolate of the meat world.
Larry McAwful: Fiat= fix it again Tony
I should know. When we had one it was my job to drive behind in the beat up station wagon so there would be a ride home when our little beauty broke down.
DemmeFatale: Give me some bacon. Now.
mookworthjwilson: You beat me to it. Did you ever have the pleasure of ownership?
He shot an infant? How fucked up do you have to be to shoot a 5 month old? This is what happens when men think they own their fucking family.