NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT  1:29 pm May 1, 2009

Barack Obama Is Actually President of Basketball, At the White House

by Ken Layne

While the rest of you dumb slobs are dying of Mexican Carnitas Influenza, losing your jobs and being forced at gunpoint by census takers to buy a fucking Chrysler, Barack Obama plays sexy basketball with a bunch of hot-as-hell tall girls in fancy dresses. [White House]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


slappypaddy May 1, 2009 at 1:36 pm

there are lady huskies? does the governor of georgia know about this?

Mapmonger May 1, 2009 at 1:37 pm

Not a fair contest, really, on account of Hopey’s probably much more used to shooting hoops in dressy shoes than the Huskies of Hotness are. I bet they all wished they’d dressed in flats.

MeDigEm May 1, 2009 at 1:38 pm

Shit, they let him win.

CapnFatback May 1, 2009 at 1:40 pm

Who says Hopey doesn’t care? They are playing “Pig,” obviously as show of sympathy for those suffering with Mucho Caliente Swine Flu.

One Yield Regular May 1, 2009 at 1:40 pm

You wanna get a sense of how far we’ve come in the past six months? Picture George W. Bush doing that.

Custerwolf May 1, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Jesus that video’s already out on DVD.

Josh Fruhlinger May 1, 2009 at 1:41 pm

“I’ll play the whole team,” he says. I’LL BET YOU WILL, BARRY!

Cape Clod May 1, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Wow, they are some nappy-headed hoes.

sevenrepeat May 1, 2009 at 1:42 pm

this is not turning me on.

Tommmcatt May 1, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Didn’t they make a porn movie like this once?

Custerwolf May 1, 2009 at 1:43 pm

On a terribly unsnarky note – I am goddamnedcrying right now, looking at those beautiful black women looking at their President. I’m such a fucking pussy…Barry, hold me.

SayItWithWookies May 1, 2009 at 1:44 pm

“Mr. President, the Stanford bowling team is –”
“Get them the f*** out of here.”

NoWireHangers May 1, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=306163]One Yield Regular[/re]: W was more of a dancer…

freakishlystrong May 1, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=306163]One Yield Regular[/re]: Or doing some bizaare softshoe while waiting to endorse an ancient..oh, wait…

Custerwolf May 1, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=306167]Cape Clod[/re]: Excuse me Mr.Quayle, but there’s no ‘e’ in that word.

Dave J. May 1, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=306163]One Yield Regular[/re]: I’ll do you one better: Picture MITT ROMNEY doing that.


american mutt May 1, 2009 at 1:45 pm

There’s something cosmically unfair about a guy who can play ball and be president.

Hooray For Anything May 1, 2009 at 1:45 pm

[re=306163]One Yield Regular[/re]: I can see the badly shot ball and goofy face now and I’m NOT HAPPY. He probably would have fallen down and hurt himself too due to the vodka he secretly drank before-hand and the valium Cheney always put in his drinks to keep him sedated enough to make it easier for Cheney to run things

S.Luggo May 1, 2009 at 1:45 pm

I wait eagerly for Rush’s, “While the nation goes into the crapper, Obama plays his ghetto games with nappy-haired broads.”

H. Duck May 1, 2009 at 1:45 pm

I would enjoy this more if they were wearing tube tops.

Custerwolf May 1, 2009 at 1:47 pm

That was sweet of him to compliment that one chick on her nice rim job.

One Yield Regular May 1, 2009 at 1:48 pm

[re=306178]Dave J.[/re]: John McCain. No – Ron Paul.

ChernobylSoup May 1, 2009 at 1:48 pm

See, now Bill Clinton would have known what to do in this situation, and it wouldn’t involve a basketball.

snideinplainsight May 1, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Unrelated, but David Souter has really big ears. Also.

CuntryFirst May 1, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Hey why does half of that team seem completely uninterested in him?

Min May 1, 2009 at 1:55 pm

I wish it had been my beloved Lady Vols, instead. ‘Cause I really hate UConn.

Bearbloke May 1, 2009 at 1:55 pm

[re=306173]Custerwolf[/re]: I hear Lord Caliph O’Bama has an opening in his Harem – send your resume now!

Lascauxcaveman May 1, 2009 at 2:00 pm

Winning the NCAA Championship? Eh, it was alright.

Playing “HORSE” with President Boyfriend? OH YEAH!!!!

Cape Clod May 1, 2009 at 2:00 pm

[re=306177]Custerwolf[/re]: I should have suspected something when the spellchecker was good with it.

teebob2000 May 1, 2009 at 2:01 pm

[re=306191]ChernobylSoup[/re]: Well, it might. And dribbling (if you know what I mean).

rmontcal May 1, 2009 at 2:01 pm

Um, did no one notice that the first girl to shoot airballed? I mean, I realize the video quality is on par with a RNC webz videoz, but why aren’t we talking how it must’ve felt to airball in front of The President of Basketball?

ohiolobbyist May 1, 2009 at 2:03 pm


BigDupa May 1, 2009 at 2:05 pm

As a Muslin, shouldn’t he have played GOAT?

crapistani May 1, 2009 at 2:07 pm

I can’t believe they edited out the shot he banked in off the TelePrompter!

snideinplainsight May 1, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Shouldn’t he be out ruthlessly crushing hedge fund managers’ windpipes with his heel, or something?

NotthatLC May 1, 2009 at 2:12 pm

[re=306226]rmontcal[/re]: Not just once but TWICE. Embarrassing, and also not a great way to stay on the team next season. Our Barry of course, made all three of his shots, because he’s awesome. And because of all the devil-worshiping, obviously.

Senhor Tambor May 1, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Yep, nothing like a patch of tall timber…

McDuff May 1, 2009 at 2:15 pm

After watching that — who needs a large military to fight two wars? Let’s go back to the ancient ways — each side picks a champion to settle all in a one-on-one fight.

So, let’s settle the whole War on Terror/Middle East conflict in an Obama vs. Osama game of HORSE (PIG being culturally insensistive). Osama names the court, we bring the ball.

problemwithcaring May 1, 2009 at 2:16 pm

Sorry, Prez, but you would have gotten your ass handed to you if those were my Lady Cardinal.

jagorev May 1, 2009 at 2:24 pm

This gave me a boner.

WadISay May 1, 2009 at 2:31 pm

A cool jazz soundtrack and this could be a Viagra commercial. You wouldn’t have to change another thing.

Bronkers May 1, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Well, that perked my flat Friday right up. Damn, that man is just so fine and so cool.

I’m chortling at the comments, but I’m totally in the tank for President HottieHope.

Edywin May 1, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=306300]WadISay[/re]: Working on in now, Obama, the Bob Dole of the 22nd Century!

Come here a minute May 1, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Remember when the pricks were whining about some young athlete wearing flip-flops to the White House? This president is so cool he wouldn’t mind if they didn’t wear anything at all!

assistant/atlas May 1, 2009 at 2:41 pm

[re=306172]Tommmcatt[/re]: Yes, it appears the video ends before they get to that part.

Disappointing, Ken Layne, I expected more from Wonkette, the official web home of Barry, buttsecks, boners, boy-touching, boobies, TruckNutz, serious social satire, and also.

Downtheroadapiece May 1, 2009 at 3:29 pm

Seriously, don’t you think the POTUS Secret Service detail has to be loads more fun now? This sure beats the hell out of scraping W’s pasty ass off the pavement after he dumps it on his Segway.

rina May 1, 2009 at 3:37 pm

Reggie Love is going to have an awesome night.

cranky May 1, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=306204]CuntryFirst[/re]: maybe they are looking at me?

sati demise May 1, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=306170]sevenrepeat[/re]: what? You dont want to try the “White House Rim”?
I am going to try it the next opportunity I get.

McDuff May 1, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=306376]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Fun? Maybe when they’re inside the White House fence, but outside? Given the hate rhetoric on the right, those Secret Service guys gotta be downing Tums like crazy — who wants to be the guy/gal who misses the Hannity fan with the AK-47 under his coat when Hopey’s working a rope line? Put my Hopey in a bulletproof hamster ball now!

IslandGirlFL May 1, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=306204]CuntryFirst[/re]: Cuz they’re lesbots checking out Michelle.

lumpenproletariat May 1, 2009 at 4:12 pm

obama isn’t funny, and neither is this post. And that goes for most of the comments. It tried. Everybody tried. But the guy is, again, just too unbelievably cool and good.

joezoo May 1, 2009 at 4:27 pm

I’m just glad we have a leader who can duly represent us against the Globetrotter Homeworld.

lolababy May 1, 2009 at 4:33 pm

HOLY CRAP look at some of their shoulders.

CollegeStudent May 1, 2009 at 4:49 pm

[re=306177]Custerwolf[/re]: [re=306167]Cape Clod[/re]: Agreed. If those girls are hoes, I would have gone in to gardening…

Custerwolf May 1, 2009 at 4:58 pm

[re=306504]CollegeStudent[/re]: You rake.

Lazy Media May 1, 2009 at 5:33 pm

Motherfucker cool, is all I’m sayin’. Motherfucker COOL.

Tommmcatt May 1, 2009 at 6:22 pm


On the other hand, your screenname is AWESOME!

larry2 May 1, 2009 at 6:31 pm

Wonder what people think about this new report they came out with. Says media is int the tank for Obama:

sweetcandy May 1, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Hmmm I see the Obama double is doing his job of trying to make President Obama look like a good ball player. Good job sir good job.

engulfedinflames May 1, 2009 at 11:55 pm

how does he do that? i can’t do that. can you do that? he knows it’s going in before it leaves his hands.

sweetcandy May 2, 2009 at 12:55 am

[re=306829]engulfedinflames[/re]: It’s called editing.

CivicHoliday May 2, 2009 at 1:24 am

I would like some of that brown sugar, please. Obama can sink my 2-pointer anytime.

Custerwolf May 2, 2009 at 1:58 am

[re=306848]CivicHoliday[/re]: I think he’d prefer the challenge of my 3-pointer, as that would better satisfy his needs IF you know what I mean.

Bruno May 2, 2009 at 4:43 pm

So what, all real America cares about is his bowling score.

Maybe this is angle for the new urban/suburban GOP?

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: