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Barack Obama Is Actually President of Basketball, At the White House


While the rest of you dumb slobs are dying of Mexican Carnitas Influenza, losing your jobs and being forced at gunpoint by census takers to buy a fucking Chrysler, Barack Obama plays sexy basketball with a bunch of hot-as-hell tall girls in fancy dresses. [White House]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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65 comments

  1. Mapmonger

    Not a fair contest, really, on account of Hopey’s probably much more used to shooting hoops in dressy shoes than the Huskies of Hotness are. I bet they all wished they’d dressed in flats.

  2. CapnFatback

    Who says Hopey doesn’t care? They are playing “Pig,” obviously as show of sympathy for those suffering with Mucho Caliente Swine Flu.

  3. One Yield Regular

    You wanna get a sense of how far we’ve come in the past six months? Picture George W. Bush doing that.

  4. Custerwolf

    On a terribly unsnarky note – I am goddamnedcrying right now, looking at those beautiful black women looking at their President. I’m such a fucking pussy…Barry, hold me.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    “Mr. President, the Stanford bowling team is –”
    “Get them the f*** out of here.”

  6. freakishlystrong

    [re=306163]One Yield Regular[/re]: Or doing some bizaare softshoe while waiting to endorse an ancient..oh, wait…

  7. Custerwolf

    [re=306167]Cape Clod[/re]: Excuse me Mr.Quayle, but there’s no ‘e’ in that word.

  8. Dave J.

    [re=306163]One Yield Regular[/re]: I’ll do you one better: Picture MITT ROMNEY doing that.

    Exactly.

  9. american mutt

    There’s something cosmically unfair about a guy who can play ball and be president.

  10. Hooray For Anything

    [re=306163]One Yield Regular[/re]: I can see the badly shot ball and goofy face now and I’m NOT HAPPY. He probably would have fallen down and hurt himself too due to the vodka he secretly drank before-hand and the valium Cheney always put in his drinks to keep him sedated enough to make it easier for Cheney to run things

  11. S.Luggo

    I wait eagerly for Rush’s, “While the nation goes into the crapper, Obama plays his ghetto games with nappy-haired broads.”

  12. ChernobylSoup

    See, now Bill Clinton would have known what to do in this situation, and it wouldn’t involve a basketball.

  13. Bearbloke

    [re=306173]Custerwolf[/re]: I hear Lord Caliph O’Bama has an opening in his Harem – send your resume now!

  14. Lascauxcaveman

    Winning the NCAA Championship? Eh, it was alright.

    Playing “HORSE” with President Boyfriend? OH YEAH!!!!

  15. Cape Clod

    [re=306177]Custerwolf[/re]: I should have suspected something when the spellchecker was good with it.

  16. teebob2000

    [re=306191]ChernobylSoup[/re]: Well, it might. And dribbling (if you know what I mean).

  17. rmontcal

    Um, did no one notice that the first girl to shoot airballed? I mean, I realize the video quality is on par with a RNC webz videoz, but why aren’t we talking how it must’ve felt to airball in front of The President of Basketball?

  18. crapistani

    I can’t believe they edited out the shot he banked in off the TelePrompter!

  19. snideinplainsight

    Shouldn’t he be out ruthlessly crushing hedge fund managers’ windpipes with his heel, or something?

  20. NotthatLC

    [re=306226]rmontcal[/re]: Not just once but TWICE. Embarrassing, and also not a great way to stay on the team next season. Our Barry of course, made all three of his shots, because he’s awesome. And because of all the devil-worshiping, obviously.

  21. McDuff

    After watching that — who needs a large military to fight two wars? Let’s go back to the ancient ways — each side picks a champion to settle all in a one-on-one fight.

    So, let’s settle the whole War on Terror/Middle East conflict in an Obama vs. Osama game of HORSE (PIG being culturally insensistive). Osama names the court, we bring the ball.

  22. problemwithcaring

    Sorry, Prez, but you would have gotten your ass handed to you if those were my Lady Cardinal.

  23. WadISay

    A cool jazz soundtrack and this could be a Viagra commercial. You wouldn’t have to change another thing.

  24. Bronkers

    Well, that perked my flat Friday right up. Damn, that man is just so fine and so cool.

    I’m chortling at the comments, but I’m totally in the tank for President HottieHope.

  25. Edywin

    [re=306300]WadISay[/re]: Working on in now, Obama, the Bob Dole of the 22nd Century!

  26. Come here a minute

    Remember when the pricks were whining about some young athlete wearing flip-flops to the White House? This president is so cool he wouldn’t mind if they didn’t wear anything at all!

  27. assistant/atlas

    [re=306172]Tommmcatt[/re]: Yes, it appears the video ends before they get to that part.

    Disappointing, Ken Layne, I expected more from Wonkette, the official web home of Barry, buttsecks, boners, boy-touching, boobies, TruckNutz, serious social satire, and also.

  28. Downtheroadapiece

    Seriously, don’t you think the POTUS Secret Service detail has to be loads more fun now? This sure beats the hell out of scraping W’s pasty ass off the pavement after he dumps it on his Segway.

  29. sati demise

    [re=306170]sevenrepeat[/re]: what? You dont want to try the “White House Rim”?
    I am going to try it the next opportunity I get.

  30. McDuff

    [re=306376]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Fun? Maybe when they’re inside the White House fence, but outside? Given the hate rhetoric on the right, those Secret Service guys gotta be downing Tums like crazy — who wants to be the guy/gal who misses the Hannity fan with the AK-47 under his coat when Hopey’s working a rope line? Put my Hopey in a bulletproof hamster ball now!

  31. IslandGirlFL

    [re=306204]CuntryFirst[/re]: Cuz they’re lesbots checking out Michelle.

  32. lumpenproletariat

    obama isn’t funny, and neither is this post. And that goes for most of the comments. It tried. Everybody tried. But the guy is, again, just too unbelievably cool and good.

  33. joezoo

    I’m just glad we have a leader who can duly represent us against the Globetrotter Homeworld.

  34. CollegeStudent

    [re=306177]Custerwolf[/re]: [re=306167]Cape Clod[/re]: Agreed. If those girls are hoes, I would have gone in to gardening…

  35. Tommmcatt

    [re=306430]lumpenproletariat[/re]:

    On the other hand, your screenname is AWESOME!

  36. sweetcandy

    Hmmm I see the Obama double is doing his job of trying to make President Obama look like a good ball player. Good job sir good job.

  37. engulfedinflames

    how does he do that? i can’t do that. can you do that? he knows it’s going in before it leaves his hands.

  38. CivicHoliday

    I would like some of that brown sugar, please. Obama can sink my 2-pointer anytime.

  39. Custerwolf

    [re=306848]CivicHoliday[/re]: I think he’d prefer the challenge of my 3-pointer, as that would better satisfy his needs IF you know what I mean.

  40. Bruno

    So what, all real America cares about is his bowling score.

    Maybe this is angle for the new urban/suburban GOP?

Comments are closed.