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Scottsdale is going to be pissed they weren't invited.Austin mayoral candidate Brewster “Phil” McCracken has ENRAGED the entire city of St. Louis by talking about how horrible they are, vis a vis the completely perfect city of Austin (which many an Austinite will assure you is “not like the rest of Texas” because they “keep it weird” with their single charming homeless man who parades around bus stops in a thong). Anyway, here’s a link to the offending campaign ad. (McCracken is “keeping it weird” by not allowing YouTube embeds, because why would you want people to look at your video all time?)

So of course folks in St. Louis, as well as McCracken’s mayoral opponent, have rushed to the defense of the fair midwestern city of hoboes and snakes.

TAKE THAT AUSTIN TWATS.

Brewster McCracken “St. Louis” Ad Causes a Stir [Burnt Orange Report]

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  • sexytime

    I hereby proclaim my disgust with this capitalist pig website. IT is May Day, and like any good socialist libtrucknutz site, this place should be celebrating all things Communist. Austin does NOT COUNT. Where is the May DAy Pagan Communist Sex Fest thread!?!

  • WickedWitch

    That reporter is annoying as shit. STFU. Was it really that slow a news day in St. Louis?

    And yes, I am from Texas!

  • Cape Clod

    It works. During Tom Menino’s last campaign for Mayor of Boston, his campaign slogan was “Baltimore Blows.”

  • Formerly Preferred
  • averyspecialjoedonbakerxmas

    This reminds me of the episode of “The Critic” where Duke ran president on the platform of “the Irish Suck!”

  • Formerly Preferred

    [re=305730]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Also, apologies for the giant frigging swastika video that youtube throws up in the “related links” section of that video of the Internationale that I posted. Stupid youtube.

  • Giant Robot

    Does Austin have the most obese people in the nation, or is it Houston?

  • NebraskashireGentry

    [re=305728]WickedWitch[/re]: yes, it was the one day a year that there were no horrific murders or robberies at gun-point to report.

    Palin/McCracken 2012!

  • Numbat Dundee

    Meet me in St Louis, Louis.
    Meet me wearing a thong.
    Engage me with your eccentricity, Louis
    Or I’ll return to Austin
    Singing this song.

  • answerbird

    Video reminded me of an Amway pitch.

  • Hound

    I have lived in St. Louis and Austin, though I am from neither. I’ll put it this way: St. Louis is full of the most racist people I’ve ever met in my entire life, and I’m from Louisiana.

  • american mutt

    Keep San Antonio Lame.

  • JMP

    Ah, Austin. I’m sure it’s a perfectly lovely city, but I don’t know of any other place whose residents love to go on and on (and on) about how great the place is, all over the internets, constantly, anywhere near as much.

  • FMA

    I was going to slag on Austin, but I won’t. I have friends there and have visited and it’s a nice town. It is the best city in Texas, which, come to think of it, is like saying it’s the tallest midget in the circus, to paraphrase the late, great Mike Royko.

    Anyway, that reporter. It’s nice to see St. Louis TV stations are committed to hiring the mentally enfeebled. Good for them.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=305727]sexytime[/re]: All May Day Celebrations have been cancelled due to MexicanPigAIDS.
    Sorry we forgot to cc you on that memo.

  • Paterlanger

    Damn! That’s an expensive looking ad. What’s the salary for mayor of Austin? One Billion Ameros?

  • Crab1

    Can’t we just find a city that we can all agree has no redeeming value? I nominate Shreveport, LA.

  • bitchincamaro

    Cannot watch or listen. Threshold for ignorant, alarmist, teevee “reporters” is too low today.

  • hobospacejunkie

    Houstonians are the most obese, but we got plenty of ’em in Austin.

    Having lived in both Austin and St. Louis let me just say that 1985 St. Louis totally kicks 2009 Austin’s ass. And if I could have everything I have in St. Louis that I have in Austin, I’d choose to live in St. Louis. I colleged in the midwest & prefer the people (less arrogant) and the weather (actual seasons.)

    Also, Brewster McCracken is the easiest name in the world to ridicule, so please do so at your leisure. I have a friend in Oakland, who formerly lived in Austin, who named his cat McCracken when Brewster was on the City Council, because it’s a name more fitting a feline than an alleged human. Also, anyone with money who wants to be mayor of Austin just wants to continue to hand it over to developers so downtown can continue to be riddled with ugly high-rise condos that no one can afford to live in.

    Also, Austin is about as weird as Fayetteville, AR. It hasn’t been weird since all the techies moved here, everything green was paved over, Liberty Lunch closed and Barton Springs became known more for its fecal matter count than it’s clear spring water. Also, I’m grumpy.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    [re=305744]answerbird[/re]: Agreed.

    That campaign ad is about one minute and 28 seconds too long.

    Shorter version: Phil McCracken or Austin will end up sucking as much as St. Louis.

  • Keram2

    OH WOW. FUCK THIS GUY.

    The reason St. Louis stopped growing after the early 1900 is because the city planners of the previous era arbitrarily designated the city line at roughly just past Forest Park. They wrongly assumed that no city could ever grow farther than then the boundaries they set. Everything past Forest Park (coming from the Mississippi) became St. Louis County. For the non-St. Louisans out there, it’s like if NYC had declared all the outer boroughs as not a part of the city.

    However, St. Louis’s westward expansion got fucking crazy during the early/mid 1900s (if I recall my St. Louis history correctly) and has continued ever since. Areas like the City of Clayton that are — for all intents and purposes — part St. Louis are not classified as St. Louis. So while on paper it looks like St. Louis has stagnating, North County, West County, and South County have actually grown substantially.

    Basically, Austin should stop taking pot shots at my city before I point out that their “music” scene is totally indebted to St. Louis musicians (Miles Davis, Chuck Berry, etc.) and that Austin hipsters are fucking insufferable. Enjoy Texas, cowfuckers.

  • SystemError

    [re=305748]JMP[/re]: “but I don’t know of any other place whose residents love to go on and on (and on) about how great the place is, all over the internets, constantly, anywhere near as much.”

    Obviously, you’ve never met anyone from Portland or SF.

  • Hound

    Crab1: Seconded. With FERVOR!

  • DC Hates Me

    Brewster is offering hope for Texas. St. Louis is offering frozen custard.

  • Cape Clod

    [re=305754]Crab1[/re]: I’m putting up Bridgeport, Connecticut for consideration.

  • Bypartizoa

    I lived there for a while and the ad is actually pretty accurate about the place being a bombed out shell of its former self. There were a few nice things about the city, but overall it felt like a ghost town. And as someone mentioned, it was racist as hell.

  • Terry

    [re=305754]Crab1[/re]:

    Lake Charles, Louisiana, is much worse than Shreveport. There’s a bayou (Bayou D’Inde) there in which the level of contamination is measured in percent of the water, rather than parts per billion or thousand. Outside of one really good barbeque place, Lake Charles is a freakin pit. Beaumont and Port Arthur, Texas, ain’t much better. Let’s just say that whole region along either side of the TX-LA border.

  • Hound

    Keram2: Insufferable know-it-all much? Why don’t you correct Sara’s grammar too, while you’re at it.

  • Mr Blifil

    First salvo in the Hobo Wars?

  • silversilver

    The people who go on and on about how great Austin is are the lamesters from Houston who are just happy not to be surrounded by rude morbidly obese people all the time.

    I’m actually *from* Austin and I get annoyed with those people.

    Also, Brewster McCracken is a huge douche. Leffingwell for Mayor, y’all.

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=305768]DC Hates Me[/re]: Ted Drewes FTW!!

  • JMP

    [re=305766]SystemError[/re]: Oh, SF residents are pretty bad, but not as bad as Austinites, and not as defensive about it. I guess I haven’t met obnoxious Portlanders, since I’m not even sure which Portland you mean.

  • Crab1

    [re=305768]DC Hates Me[/re]: Frozen custard is really good!

    [re=305771]Terry[/re]: Lake Charles is in South Louisiana. Do not be shocked by high levels of pollution. I attended a Couchon du lait in the LC and had a great weekend. However, it was no Tarpon Rodeo.

  • Blow Up Speaker Doll

    [re=305748]JMP[/re]: Agree 1000%. In my mind it’s a contest between Austin and the pretentious douchebags in Ann Arbor, who prattle on about their town and how it’s not like the rest of Michigan, which is presumably made up of deparate roaming hordes of unemployed fat autoworkers with facial hair. Don’t even get me started on Portland,Oregon.

  • NebraskashireGentry

    [re=305769]Cape Clod[/re]: I’ve never been to Bridgeport but I once heard someone on the Metro-North mention it.

    I quote,”If you see Diddy, tell him Sheila from Bridgeport wants to fuck him!”

  • zenferret

    [re=305738]Giant Robot[/re]: Nope, Vegas

  • TJBeck

    [re=305754]Crab1[/re]: Hmm, Dad was born in Shreveport (and they lived there for like, three weeks before moving), and they have the independence bowl, and gambling. Shithole, but there are worse.

    I nominate America’s asshole, Youngstown, Ohio. Third worst crime behind Camden, NJ and Compton, CA (which are not really cities, just neighborhoods). Closest major city is I guess Cleveland, or maybe Pittsburgh, and what manufacturing is left is tied to GM. You’ve got urban blight and organized crime problems. No lake, mountains, rivers canyons or anything interesting to look at. KKK activity peaked in the 1920s. Population has been cut in half over the last 50 years. Lowest median income of any US city with more than 65,000 people. Nickname is literally “Murder City”. LITERALLY! Produced Jim Trafficant.

    Actually, maybe Trafficant is redeeming, at least for Wonkette purposes.

  • Aloysius

    [re=305754]Crab1[/re]: Close: Slidell, LA.

  • Keram2

    [re=305773]Hound[/re]: Bah. Sorry. Totally insufferable post, in retrospect.

    After living in NYC for a year, I’ve developed this horrible problem where whenever says something truly ignorant about the midwest — “I’d never move to Kansas City! I mean, what’s in Kansas anyway besides corn?” — I get defensive. Scarily defensive. My eyes roll back in my head, my blood boils, and I wake up in a gutter in East New York, covered in blood, with no memories of the previous 12 hours.

  • Min

    I went to St. Louis once, but I’d rather not talk about it.

  • vkladchik

    Makes me want to vote for McCracken, that’s for sure. If he’s got the balls to throw another US city under his campaign bus, he’ll … well, I don’t know. He’ll at least be entertaining. Funny how the reporter didn’t actually contradict any of McCracken’s claims… The Chronicle’s endorsed Leffingwell, tho, so there’s that, also.

  • JRinDallas

    MLB and frozen custard… by that measure Milwaukee is Shangra-La/Garden of Eden/El Dorado/Xanadu/Disney’s Tomorrowland all-in-one.

  • Crab1

    [re=305783]NebraskashireGentry[/re]: Sheila from Bridgeport always be tryin’ to fuck Diddy.

  • LittlePig

    Let’s see. St. Louis has Ted Drewes. And the botanical garden geodesic thingamabob.

    Other than that, complete and total waste of space.

    Advantage: Austin.

  • LittlePig

    Rats. Beaten to the Ted Drewes punch.

  • zhubajie

    “America’s asshole, Youngstown, Ohio.”

    One time home of James Traficant! He first won popularity by 1) not evicting people whose mortgages were foreclosed; 2) promoting gambling and prostitution; 3) somehow never solving any Mob killings. Then he went on to Congress!

    Zhu Bajie, one time denize of Ohio

  • Crab1

    [re=305794]TJBeck[/re]: KKK activity peaked in the 1920s.

    Obviously, you have never been to Shreveport. I do not think you could say that the KKK has even peaked there yet.

    [re=305797]Aloysius[/re]: While I will agree the entire North Shore can eat a bag of dicks, proximity to New Orleans makes it at least tolerable.

  • lada_sue

    Anyone but Carole Keeton Rylander Strayhorn McClellan Nahasapeemapetilon.

  • gjdodger

    I’ve lived in Ft. Dodge, Iowa, and I have you all beat hands down. However, my nomination is for nearby Waterloo, and here is why–in the mid-90s, they were having a hard time finding workers for the pork plant, so they invited a Bosnian-American emigre leader to visit in hopes he would encourage others of Bosnian descent to go and work there. He did so. He said Waterloo reminded him of home. Got that? Waterloo = war-time Bosnia.

  • norbizness

    As somebody who’s been in Austin or the Austin area (Georgetown) for almost 20 years, I am more than willing to trash this place: (1) we’ve become a half-occupied condocracy, (2) we have way too many fucking cops who shoot unarmed people on the East side, (3) our smart growth looks like some sort of yuppie nightmare, (4) there isn’t a local business, park, or landmark our City Council wouldn’t gladly sell out for some monstrous developer, and (5) we sure have a lot of fucking noise ordinances for the Live Music Capital of the World.

    However, in Brewster’s defense, ain’t shit goin’ on in St. Louis.

  • ManchuCandidate

    It’s no Cardinals vs Cubs.

  • norbizness

    I also wish to second hobospace upthread, and remind everyone that ACL and SXSW are just two giant moneyed corporate interests that have priced out regular people in favor of industry douchewads in luxury suites a long time ago.

  • zenferret

    [re=305773]Hound[/re]: Dude use the reply thingie. Silly doggie…

  • McDuff

    [re=305794]TJBeck[/re]: I see your point about Youngstown, but being originally from Ohio, I have to go with Flint or Detroit, Michigan for cities that have done 180s from their glory days, or, if you prefer, Buffalo or Lackawanna, NY.

    To be fair, if the old home town GM plant closes for good, you can kiss Defiance, Ohio, goodbye too.

  • Hound

    Shreveport is sort of like the Hell-mouth, but with a serious crank problem. There was a time in the late 90s early 00s when you could get an eight-ball of coke for $75 in the Port City. Some of you may think of that as a good thing, but it was cut with Clorox and baby’s blood. It sucks you in and eats your soul and leaves only a dried out husk that movie stars can point at and call quaint. The only place that may be worse than Shreveport is Bossier.

    Keram2: I can’t believe you actually apologized. The usual response to confrontation on this site is vitriol. Maybe you aren’t such an ass after all.

    Sincerely,
    DoucheHound

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=305754]Crab1[/re]: [re=305797]Aloysius[/re]: Excellent entries, both, but c’mon… for pure “wouldn’t miss it if it fell into the Gulf of Mexico,” then New Iberia trumps all others.

  • norbizness

    Final note: nothing like seeing a “Keep Austin Weird” sticker on a giant Chevy Tahoe from Westlake, sandwiched in between a McCain/Palin ’08 and Kayleigh #8 Junior Soccer League sticker. The fact that you have purchased a T-shirt with a dumb slogan significantly reduces the chances that slogan will come to fruition.

  • Hound

    Zenferret: I am either hopelessly inept and stupid, or unable (or both). Perhaps you could teach me.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=305843]Hound[/re]: THANK YOU for mentioning Bossier as the Gates of Hell in Baja Arkansas. But really, y’all, no bile for Monroe? I’m so ashamed!

  • liquiddaddy

    If by “weird” Austinites mean phoney, vacuous, pretentious, self-important, and babbity, they are hella-weird. Down in San Antonio we are perfectly content with loose shoes, cold beer and a cool breeze. Lame, yes, but mui tranquillo.

  • JRinDallas

    Dallas is making a strong push for worst city that isn’t a backwoods outpost… the mayor wants to put a toll road between a failing levee system and we can’t wait for the W’s Think Tank for Torture, Economiez, and Fail.

  • superfecta

    I grew up in St. Louis and you couldn’t pay me to be there for more than a day or two. There’s really nothing else to do there once you’ve gotten your Ted Drewes, unless you are excited about seeing a lot of morbidly obese racists and ludicrously tan women who haven’t figured out that high school was not really that exciting.

  • Hound

    [re=305839]zenferret[/re]: Never mind, Zenny. Don’t I feel like a silly billy!

  • pondscum

    [re=305811]JRinDallas[/re]: I can get on the Milwaukee bandwagon. Lake, the art museum with the wings, beer…aaaahhhhhh……..

  • Keram2

    [re=305843]Hound[/re]: I realized how absolutely Paultardesque my post was. In fact, if you replace the word “St. Louis” with “fiat currency” in that comment, it would fit in nicely on the Ron Paul Forums. Even though I love St. Louis and there’s a ton more to do there than watch the Cardinals and eat frozen custard, defending the city is not worth lowering myself to that level. Nothing is worth that.

  • Scarab

    Punky Brewster

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=305847]norbizness[/re]: Thanks for saying how I feel about Austin in a reasonable manner. I try but always sound like I hate this place, though I don’t. I just remember the late ’70s when Barton Springs was clear, there was lots of green everywhere, you could see the Capitol building from anywhere and Lamar @ 183 was so far north it was like the end of civilization.

  • StephanieInCA

    St.Louis makes Detroit look like fucking paradise. I am not even joking.

  • ath2ad

    [re=305857]superfecta[/re]: Where did you go to High School?

  • x111e7thst

    As I read these comments I begin to wonder, is there anywhere that does not suck between NY and LA?

  • The Dallas Office

    [re=305855]JRinDallas[/re]: Yeah, don’t forget the extension of Woodall Rodgers Freeway over said failing levees. But hey, we have NorthPark Center which has Neiman’s, NOrdstrom, AND Barney’s!!1!1

  • In-a-gadda-velveeta

    [re=305738]Giant Robot[/re]: I used to live in Nebraska and I now live in Austin. I would be flabbergasted to find that there are more fats here than there. It might be Houston, but it isn’t Austin. Everyone here is annoyingly fucking healthy.

  • Terry

    [re=305823]zhubajie[/re]:

    Don’t forget what a snappy dresser he is.

  • NebraskashireGentry

    [re=305939]x111e7thst[/re]: STFU. those cities suck too.

  • In-a-gadda-velveeta

    I’ve spent a lot of time in St. Louis and I moved to Austin from Omaha a year ago.

    They are both better than living in Omaha.

    That is all.

  • Zombie Reagan

    The Austin Model? So if we flood St. Louis with acid casualties, douchebag Californians and drunk drivers it becomes Shangri-freakin’-La? As a Chicagoan living in Austin, I can assure you this is the most self-satisfied place I’ve ever been. On the upside, the music scene is great! Where else do you have so many places to see middle age white men playing “Mean Mistreater?”

  • canadasteve

    The thing I remember most while visiting Austin was how WHITE it was. The only black people were those playing in bands. It was libtard paradise: we don’t have to live around black people, but we can go look at them whenever we want.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=305946]NebraskashireGentry[/re]: I was merely reacting to the tone of the comments, what’s your problem.

  • Meaux

    [re=305853]liquiddaddy[/re]: Too many papists in San Antonio for me. Lord bless!

  • PopeyesPipe

    Agreed on Lake Charles, S-port, New Iberia. But I feel obligated to add my birthplace to the list: Lafayette, LA. Yes it’s got the Cajuns and some lovely graveyards with oak trees and spanish moss. But, holy fucking shit. The place, by in large, is one enormous fucking strip mall. There are like 18 Chili’s, and each has a parking lot packed with pickups; the driver of each truck, of course, is a drunken, loud-mouthed half wit who works off shore. You could fit, all at once, the city’s entire population into its unfathomable chain of horrible restaurants.

    Also, it should be noted that while St. Louis gave us TS Eliot, Austin gave me four days of searing diarrhea.

  • Hound

    [re=305955]canadasteve[/re]: Though I enjoy Austin, I do miss the blacks.

  • superfecta

    [re=305936]ath2ad[/re]: Ahhhh! One of the many craptastic all-girl Catholic ones.

  • I_P

    [re=305955]canadasteve[/re]: Ever been to the Northwest?

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=305939]x111e7thst[/re]: You say that as if NY and LA don’t suck. In different ways, mind you…

  • El Pinche

    WAR!
    FIRE CHIMICHANGAS!
    DROP MEXICAN MARTINI NAPALM BOMBS!
    RELEASE THE RABID ARMADILLOS!

    We will invade St. Louis with crappy blues-rock cover bands and Zendik farm freaks! And then we will drown you in your custard.

  • gurukalehuru

    Brewster McAssCracken

  • davesnothere

    All these second tier cities should get little bi-plane air forces, and drop flaming baggies of poop on each others’ local news anchors. Then we’d be havin some fun.

  • El Pinche

    [re=305853]liquiddaddy[/re]: You know you’re getting close to San Antonio when the Glenn Beck and Hannity billboards and churches are 3 feet apart. SA is only good for two things: Sea World and Six Flags.
    And the Alamo sucks cock. That’s right. I said it.

  • TJBeck

    [re=305840]McDuff[/re]: I thought about those cities, but you have to go through the would I rather live in X or Y test:

    Detroit vs. Youngstown – Detroit wins; at least they are still a major city, with casinos in Windsor, and a waterfront sorta, and major sports teams.

    Buffalo vs. Youngstown – You get to have New York plates in Buffalo, rather than Ohio’s crappy brown fade, so you could sorta call yourself a new yorker. Oh, and points (not many) for being on a lake. Plus, you can actually get a commercial flight to Buffalo. Lackawanna doesn’t really count – it’s part of Buffalo.

    Flint vs. Youngstown – Um… ? Flint’s pretty bad. Tossup. I think the mob activity in Youngstown might make it worse. At least Flint gets national recognition for being a bombed-out hellhole, with Michael Moore and what not – people don’t even know about Youngstown.

    And as far as the contenders like Shreveport, Port Arthur etc., they are all pretty bad, but at least the weather and food are better. I’ve lived in both Houston and Cleveland – it’s a tough call.

  • lada_sue

    [re=305955]canadasteve[/re]: As a long time Austinite, I’d say that most of the criticism here is perfectly valid. Austin is a nice place to live, but most of the people could benefit from a kick in the teeth. (I do my part.) It is the music capital in terms of quantity only, but try naming off a list of great bands from here. But, judging a city by the number of black people it has (it does have some, uh, on the other side of I-35) doesn’t make much sense. You’re saying that if we’d had more slavery in central Texas, we’d be better off today? And no one I know thinks the way you think we do. I know it’s gotta hurt coming from a Texan, but you come across as a little ignorant.
    And also as well, a lot of the better commenters here are from Austin.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=305971]PopeyesPipe[/re]: Heh. Personally, Austin gave me the gay, while San Antonio gave me the shits.

  • One Yield Regular

    Ick. This is about as interesting as that time Michael Moore and Bill O’Reilly argued with one another in public.

  • Robobot

    St. Louis has Ted Drewes, the St. Louis Art Museum, the City Museum, Crown Candy Kitchen, cheap drugs, and my sweet half-wit aunt. Austin has morbidly obese wignuts and megachurches. As long as this war is about which city is more depressingly awful, Austin wins!

  • El Pinche

    [re=306056]Robobot[/re]:

    Ted Drewes, who’s that fucko?
    Museums? Ok, we have maybe a couple at UT.
    cheap drugs? We grow and make our own. That’s cheap. Besides, you probably don’t know the code words for the dealers. They’re everywhere.
    sweet half-wit aunt? My lesbian aunt teaches at UT, owns a shotgun, and grows weed.

    You see, it’s all relative and you have no point.

  • NebraskashireGentry

    [re=306004]gurukalehuru[/re]: my point exactly. thank you.

  • dijetlo

    Detroit looks bombed out. As a survivor of Cleveland ’68, that counts for quite a lot in my book.
    Drugs and whores are dirt cheap though, so it aint all bad.
    I was born in a little town near the southern border of Ohio that had one source of income, a Mead paper plant, when it was running everything was covered in soot, the entire town stank and half of the residence had lung cancer. As soon as it closed up, we went back to our roots, so to speak, primarily eeking out a living selling our children, the odd spare body part,
    We thought we’d caught a break when the government started paying for the identities of Al Qaeda operatives. My uncle Chuck made a killing but most of the town is in Gitmo now. Still, compared with Detroit, heaven on earth.

  • RabidHamster

    He did a much better job promoting the Austin Model in his second campaign commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCCfJU-b2WE&feature=related

  • kenskids

    [re=305847]norbizness[/re]: Second everything you say in every one of your posts, and I’ve only lived here for three years (NOT in a condo, mind you).

  • x111e7thst

    [re=306004]gurukalehuru[/re]: Um no. I say that as if NY and LA are to the East and West of all the many places described in this thread. Which they are.

  • gurukalehuru

    St. Louis and Austin should just go ahead and get gay married, already.

  • badmuthagoose

    You forgot the old lady with one tooth who plays the accordion on sixth street. She’s awesome. Or the woman with the dog and a piece of cardboard who hangs out downtown and yells about losing her shoes all the time. The only other thing I’ve heard her yell is “I’M GONNA GET FUCKED UP!” (And she did. It’s good to have goals.)

    The homeless in other places are just so boring compared to them. Except the guy near me who stays at the gas station all the time talking to bugs.

  • badmuthagoose

    Oh and here, I’ll pound on Austin a bit (and my family’s from there): it’s got tons of Cedar and so if you are the slightest bit allergic, you’re made miserable just by being within 50 miles of the place.

    A lot of it is honestly not all that pretty.

    It gets a little old to have people in restaurants randomly start spontaneous dance-offs or sing-offs. Do that at home, people.

    Speaking of restaurants, people take their kids and babies EVERYWHERE in Austin. I’m serious, everywhere. NOwhere is off-limits for kids, toddlers, babies. It’s like “just because I had kids, I’m not going to slow down on my super cool expensive bohemian lifestyle, y’all, dag.” It’s very weird to see someone nursing at a loud rock concert about 15 feet from the stage.

    All of Texas is hot most of the year, but Austin seems to own some sort of weird pocket of hot. It’s hotter than the inside of a dog’s ass in that city and humid, too.

    But Houston is made of suck, so there’s that.

  • Joey Ratz

    [re=305939]x111e7thst[/re]: If you don’t mind meth, rain and unemployment, Eugene’s not half bad.

  • skyinator

    [re=305746]Hound[/re]: I’ve lived in Hartford, Taint Louis and Naples, FL and I agree Taint Louis is the most racist town by far. And Also, P.S. I got stuck in that fuckin’ tram at the top of the Arch for a half an hour, maybe that’s why I hate it so much.

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=306350]badmuthagoose[/re]: It gets a little old to have people in restaurants randomly start spontaneous dance-offs or sing-offs.

    Oh, ha ha ha, yes.

    What?

  • 2druk2phluq

    One could say that I am confused. Do what? With who? What the fuck is going on? Oh, I get it. The mayor of Austin had a homosexual relationship with a man in St. Louis, who unceremoniously dumped him for a younger, more attractive mayoral candidate. I was feeling out of sorts for a second there, until I remembered the golden rule of politics. It’s all about teh gay secks.

  • MertWarson

    St. Louis sucks, blah blah blah blah. Most racist city in America, blah blah blah. Everything is better in New York, L.A., Austin, Milwaukee, blah blah blah. Jesus, you people are asshats!

  • give us a bob

    El Pinche: I’m afraid to say the STL is already awash in crappy blues-rock cover bands. Your salvos will have little effect, except maybe to drive cover charges of said crappy bands even further down.

    I’m honestly quite flattered to read all the Internet hate tumbling down on my crib, racist, “mentally enfeebled,” and depopulated as it may be. You all really care that much about a depressed, post-industrial suburb with hardly 250K population? I’m convinced that not one of these problems afflict any of your fair burgs, right?

  • PonALAu

    [re=305759]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Don’t you get sick of explaining the “city” is separate from the “county” thing? Nobody believes you when you try and explain that St. Louis sucks two-thirds less than it appears to suck. The St. Louis crime rate would actually be pretty low if we included the county.

    And the “city” of St. Louis doesn’t have much of a problem with racism. Due to white flight, most of the racists moved to the “county” a long time ago. When it comes to a city’s white people, I’ll take quality over quantity. Don’t deny it- suburbs everywhere are filled with people that at one point or another didn’t want to risk living next to teh blax.

    I just realized that a half dozen self-satisfied yuppies living downtown and a handful of south-city hoosiers completely negates that quality white people statement. Forget I said anything. I’m almost positive Austin wins.

  • Keram2

    [re=306778]PonALAu[/re]: I miss hearing people refer to “rednecks” as “hooisers.” I also miss the 7 Shot Screamers, The Way Out Club, and Chuck Berry’s Blueberry Hill performances.

    Fuck, I miss St. Louis.

  • give us a bob

    Keram2: Perhaps St. Louis would suck infinitesimally less if all the “non-hoosiers,” however you choose to define the term, would just stop leaving town all the time. Self-fulfilling prophesies, anyone?

  • thedannnnger

    His campaign would do better in St Louis, probably he would be an Alderman by now.

    It’s on the same level as Cherokee Street’s Gondolfi who sent out postcards saying how he locked himself in his own dogcage and has illegal license plates. And that guy only lost by 700 votes.

    The Brewster obviously has never looked in Austin for an empty warehouse space, vacant city lot, or abandoned factory complex to house his Esoteric Art Project, or else he would realize the obvious advantage of “The St Louis Slide”.

    However he would have been insightful to mention that Austin retains active&creative people who actually aren’t burnt-out or chronically depressed, i.e. the Loo’s got the Blues, and Mr Drewe’s white-sugar-and-milkfat Frozen concrete Custard is NOT working in St Louis’s favor. Certainly not making the interviewees photogenic.

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=306778]PonALAu[/re]: I don’t think anyone can understand St. Louis unless they live there for a while. The whole city/county thing is confusing. Then there’s East St. Louis. Plus the Illinois ‘villes across the river as well. Even though the population of the city is 250,000 or whatever, the number of people who say to non-natives that they are from St. Louis must be in the millions, because it includes all the above-mentioned areas. I’ve got friends in Edwardsville & Belleville. I lived in Fenton for a summer once, across the freeway from the Chrysler plant, but spent most of my time in Kirkwood. Like most metro areas, it’s too big to generalize about, and far more populated than Austin, which is pretty easy to generalize about. I live in Austin but I don’t think it’s all that fabulous, just better than most of the rest of Texas, though I do love me some El Paso, where my wife is from.

  • LindsayBluth

    Ted Drewes, pffffftt. Fritz’s is superior.

    And the metro area population is 2.8 mil, not the low six digits that the city has to show.

    And as Hound mentioned, there are some incredibly bold racists here, but it’s hard to avoid your own family. However, there is also a healthy community of Nader-voting, long-haired, gay socialists running about. Webster Groves is the most fascinating concentration of them, actually — Rich old former hippies who all had Obama signs out in front of their million dollar homes last October.

  • PonALAu

    [re=306785]Keram2[/re]: I always liked the term “hoosier”. It’s very unique to St. Louis. I can’t think of anyplace else that has a derogatory word for white people that is taken seriously. Most of them just make people giggle, but if you call somebody a hoosier, it could end in violence. Point- St. Louis.

    Sorry Indiana. Nothing personal.

    I also like how “South City Hoosier” has become another breed entirely. A friend, who of course moved to SF, describes them as burnt-out non-political hippies due to their fuggit- live-and-let-live attitude. They are generally open-minded, due to their Bush 2×4 and weed-induced stupor. Hey, whatever it takes.

  • Bruno

    That KMOV reporting would have been a lot better if it were John Mills on the scene.

  • EastVanHalen

    [re=306732]MertWarson[/re]: Dear St. Louis,

    Your city might not suck, but your hockey team sure does.

    Neener neener neener,
    Vancouver

  • homas

    I call them Austintatious and I live there too. Great city and sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hip!

  • MertWarson

    [re=306996]EastVanHalen[/re]: No argument there!

  • nugget

    Hey, Shreveport isn’t so bad — I just moved here from up north and I think the people are really nice and I’ve been lovin’ the weather! The only hard part so far is coping w/ the feeling that nature is lurking all around me and it’s a lot closer than I’m accustomed to — just in this past week I saw what someone said was a nutria, plus its three babies; a big-ass turtle in the middle of a big-ass parking lot (why would a turtle walk across a parking lot?); a dead snake on a road; a bird of some sort eating a fish of some sort; and the BIGGEST fucking cockroach I’ve ever seen in my life (which I promptly doused with bug spray). I’ve never been a hunter or a fisher but I’m thinking I may have to try, just to join in the local spirit of things — I’ve kind of gathered that people here enjoy nature the most when they’re killing it and then eating it. So let’s boil a CRAWfish and then suck on its head – yeehah! When in Rome….

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