Wonkette
- DAVID SOUTER TO QUIT SUPREME COURT: Supreme Court Justice David Souter, the one George Bush Senior picked without knowing that he was secretly a French liberal queer, will retire at the end of the current session because he wants to climb mountains in New Hampshire or something before dying of old age cancer. Now Barack Obama can put Bill Ayers on the bench, as has been his plan since he was conceived in a Kenyan labratory ostrich egg in 1961. [NYT]
WHERE ARE YR DRUDGE SIRENS?
Monsieur Soutier also had the low cunning to wait until Dubya retired so that some Negro faggot communist gangsta president could appoint the most pinko judge he could find.
Make Daschle and Bill Richardson duke it out for the spot. [cue Star Trek fight music]
Barry should float the name “Anita Hill” out there, just to see if Clarence’s head explodes.
Aurelio: low cunning=lunning?
Dude, it is ON! The Wingnuts are going to lose their collective shit in five…four…three…two…one
Wait, let me go get the popcorn!
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=103694193
Brendan M., who graciously tipped us at that website I am an “editor” at says: “Or someone. David Souter is retiring.”
That, in retrospect, is what this all really means.
New Hampshire is legalizing gay marriage. So … there ya go.
Actually, I think for this first pick (because we know Ruth Bader Ginsberg is going to die soon, right, Sen. Bunning?), Barry will go centrist so he can toy with Hannity/Limbaugh/etc. a bit. By the time his 3rd or 4th appointment comes around, he’ll be appointing Olbermann & Maddow. Oh, the hilarity that will ensue!
I hope Obama nominates a black guy to the Bench. It’s been a long time since they had one
Damn you, Wonkette! You swore never to reveal the truth about that ostrich egg.
DAMN YOU!!!1!
– Signed, Barry Hussein Nobama
Biffed the joke– I hope Obama nominates a black guy to the bench. It’s a long time since the Supreme Court had one.
Au sujet du sujet « l’homosexuel en tant que libéral », je sais mieux. Il est une chèvre de montagne qui aime avoir des buttsecks! Moi aussi!
What? You’re entirely forgetting about Ward Churchill!
Yeah, but Souter’s one of the “liberal” ones so who gives a fuck. Wake me up with Scalia gets ass cancer.
Norm Coleman for supreme court.
tunamelt: Fuck ya. Let’s burn the Court system alive! We can leave the remains to Burma, or Pakistan. After all, this is America.
“Who’s Not Honoring Me Now?” Don’t make Colbert do it.
tunamelt: Fucking A… he’ll he there soon anyway. That is the point.
Any chance we can get Roberts and Alito in a steel cage to the death knife fight?
Anyone want to bet that Bill Kristol’s next column will suggest Barry show bipartisanship by nominating the snowbilly?
Oh god the starbursts, they burn…
Bill Ayers was at Brandeis tonight. I hate to admit this to you all, but I have an ex BF who’s a wingnut. He boasted of protesting the “cop killer and terrorist appearance” tonight. Then another one of his wingnut friends was like, “Yeah! Never forget 9/11″, in earnestness. All I can say is he was fun to drink with and, erm, you know, other stuff.
19kevin8: Fuck that. Wrestling in coleslaw.
Hugo Chavez!
MrsNateSilver: Damn. And here I stayed home and made chicken soup (I’m much more conservative about pig flu prevention than they are at HuffPo, what with the enemas and all). (I’m in Bedford.)
MrsNateSilver: Stomping ragheads and target shooting at the gun range, I’m guessing?
I nominate Antonin ‘Nino’ Scalia for old age cancer. Followed of course by Clarence ‘Uncle Tom’ Clarence.
chascates: I mean Clarence Thomas. Damn, this box wine ain’t bad!
chascates: Why just go for old age cancer when you can go for something gross like choad cancer? Or really painful, like foreskin cancer? Do those bastards really deserve anything as dignified as old age cancer?
People are always yelling for transparency. D’ya think Marjorie Overlund Rendell (Third Circuit Court of Appeals, not just Mrs. Eddie) is transparent enough?
“We in the GOP hope that the president does not abuse this rare opportunity by giving a lifetime appointment to a jurist who will rubber stamp his radical socialist agenda. Rather, we hope he proves that his promises of bipartisanship were not just so much empty campaign rhetoric, by nominating someone acceptable to mainstream America. We encourage him to nominate the grotesque, stinking corpse of Strom Thurmond.”
Cicada: For Scalia I’ll agree to anal or dick-tip cancer.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0430091jury1.html
I wanna party with this guy.
My campaign for Supreme Court begins now! Everyone, start calling the White House. I’m an excellent law-talking person. Really.
TruckNutz in every opinion!
Affirmed. Also.
Jukesgrrl: And that would give Fast Eddie more free time for his… erm… extracurricular activities.
Custerwolf: Did you know that Meghan fucking McCain linked that on her damned Twitter of death page? I bet you didn’t, which is why it makes it fun to call you out on that.
MEGHAN MCCAIN: Progressive/Conservative, Liberal/Fascist, Evangelical/Atheist.
But more than that:
Custerwolf: Citing ______ as a new medium.
Let’s blog about blogs that are blogging about sources that may have been taken from blogs. OH GOOD.
shortsshortsshorts: [cut to scene where I'm furiously scrubbing the shame and disgust from my body...slumping into the corner.....sobbing quietly, despondently....fade to black]
imissopus: starbursts=genital warts.
But c’mon Barry nominate Jerry Brown for associate justice! Supreme wackiness will ensue. First Monday raves, also.
shortsshortsshorts: Did she happen to mention that when reading the gentleman’s fond account of his dog’s wrinkled scrotom it made her think fondly of her dear old grandpa - er, I mean dad?
Custerwolf: That is when one must recount the wrinkles on the dog. One slow process, one testicle at a time.
ALRIGHT GOODNIGHT NOW WONKETTE.
I have a friend who calls Cass Sunstein, so absent any informed speculation, I’ll take that. Who’s with me? (BTW, who wants to bet Cass is already sick of the ball-and-chan-style jokes referenceing a “Problem From Hell” or the ol’ “Monster”…?)
Lord Growing: Words as true today as they would have been forty years ago.
tunamelt: Oh, we can do wrestling in cole slaw… in a steel cage with long, sharp knives… to the death! Make it a 3-way.
Roberts v. Alito v. Thomas
So… socialist gay abortions for all?
MrsNateSilver: *sigh* it’s always the wingnut crazy ones…no offense to crazy moonbats who are good in bed. Smile with tongue sticking out!
Before we get snarked out, let us say good bye to the one true conservative at the Supreme Court, who believed in precedent and not making the law fit some grand right wing belief of what Thomas Jefferson would have done if we could hook electros to him and make his rotting corpse speak to us.
Sadly, despite this being the majority opinion on the Court, they have yet to rule that getting it on with your slaves is very Constitutional and a lot of fun.
What ever happens, let’s not forget that a Supreme Court Judgeship is a fucking valuable thing, you just don’t give it away for nothing.
Is Blago available?
I would rather count the wrinkles on my dogs balls than sit on a jury.
Not bad, but he missed a possessive apostrophe. Also gratuitous use of quotes around “justice,” our system of which he does not believe in. But he ends with sentiments I think we can all empathize with:
Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the fuck alone.
I think I’ll ask to have that on my tombstone. If I weren’t going to be incinerated.
for rambone:
Amok Time fight scene
Which one’s Daschle?
Oh yeah, I went there!
PerhapsSo: And us, more fun stuff to read, since we have had so little since Bubba started the heart meds. (I don’t count Sen. Diaper. I’m not into the poo-poo scene.) I hold out hope that there will some regular-guy sexy-time from Todd Palin. I wouldn’t mind another tundra scandal and she so-o-o-o deserves it.
Just two words: Hillary Clinton
I hope Barry appoints someone barely in their 30’s. Someone that the conservatives will look at and say to themselves, “Shit, that fucker is going to be there for 50 fucking years.”
Johnny Zhivago: Two more words: Bill Clinton.
Whoever wins the next Project Runway: SCOTUS!
Who will be the first member of congress to propose a BIRTH CERTIFICATE requirement for the SCOTUS? We can’t have the half-breed muslin appointing his LUO CHIEF for CHIEF JUSTICE!!!1!1!1!!!
“Once engaged but never married, Souter was once listed among the capital’s 10 “most eligible bachelors” but remained in that category of “confirmed bachelors.”"
The leather dungeon, hair salon, retinue of boy-toys, and “Gay Ocean Cruising” pamphlets found in his SCOTUS chamber were apparently not enough confirmation.
David Souter is totally leaving to take part in my/Wonkette’s new upcoming occasional blog series “All the Presidents’ Graves (and a few who weren’t!)”, SUMMER 2009! I can’t wait, everyone get excited, we need a grassroots movement for this!
Barry needs to nominate Jennifer Granholm. She’d actually be a decent pick, but the fact that she was born in Canada would launch a thousand conspiracy theories. Part of some kind of secret Cannuck sleeper cell, no doubt.
hobospacejunkie:
Ok, maybe I’m crazy, but I LIKE jury duty. I get paid to go decide things about other folks’ lives.
When I was living down South, I never made it past voire dire. Basically, one lawyer or the other would see that I’d been to college and send me back to the waiting room.
Um… shouldn’t that be “labRATory?” Get it right, Wonkette!
Terry: You’re not crazy. It’s not the worst thing in the world. But saying you get paid is overstating it a bit. At least in Texas, where you get something like $5/hour.
I also never make it past the first round, where they discover my wife is an attorney.
NoWireHangers: Scalia is ass cancer.
Crap. I had ten bucks on Ginsburg.
Begun this culture war has.
Three words: Justice Ann Coulter.
I nominate Rahm Emanuel, because his dissenting opinions would be so much fun to read.
Capricatony: Heh. Love it!
Either of the Clintons, just to watch the Party of No detonate. Or Jeremiah Wright.
In the spirit of bipartisanship and gender equality, the POTUS will probably have to consider Harriet Mier’s again. I mean W. searched far and wide for another conservative women lawyer who was fit for the job and the closest he came was Sam Alito.
Terry: Here in the home of Flaming Lips love, going to college doesn’t disqualify you for jury duty, as long as it was an unaccredited Bible College.
Remember when the Repubthugs were trying to get their asswipe wingers through the senate and the Ds kept staging fake filibusters? And the Rs, led by Terry Shiavo hearthrob Bill Frist, threatened the “nukular” opting of deep-sixing the filibuster rule?
Will the Democrats ever grow a set of “hey, we won the fucking election” balls and put the Rs in their places?
BTW, Note to Arlen “what am I today” Specter: Orrin Hatch just got tricked into appearing on the socialist-terrorist-homo channel, MSNBC, and announces, “you’re On Notice. I want the fucking $10,000 I gave to your reelection campaign back, Bitch.”
I might have slightly glammed up his actual words.
As the idiot king bush said, “Elections, well, uh, heh, they have comisqwe.. consulme .. er, Elections have consequences!”
There must be a transgendered lawyer around somewhere that would like the job. Maybe somebody from ACORN.
Not your best work, Jim.
Just for shits and giggles, put Blago or someone else wildly inappropriate on the court! Maybe some Muslim jurist. Repeat Roman Hruska’s defence of Harold Carswell, when Republifucks complain!
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Very available, I’m sure, but the president will have to pardon him first. Still, a conviction, time in jail, might make him very empathetic to those accused of something or other.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Very available, I’m sure, but the president will have to pardon him first. Still, a conviction, time in jail, might make him very empathetic to those accused of something or other.PsycGirl:
PsycGirl: Think how conflicted the wingnuts would be by a Jew, born in Israel, son of an Likudnik (and I think an Irgun member).
Zhu Bajie