Oh look, snowbilly grifter and chronic liar Sarah Palin has done that predictable thing. Isn’t that cute, it’s just her second twat and she’s already whining about the Librul Mediaz. STOP IT. Also check out the Cheryl Tiegs/Sears-style neon Paint Shop Pro signature on her background image. Jesus, she is mentally a nine-year-old, isn’t she? [Sarah Palin Twitter]
AMERICA'S DUMBEST FAKE FAD
April 30, 2009
Sarah Palin Officially Twats
Previous post: What We Talk About When We Talk About Slate
Next post: These Dinosaur Furries Are Texas State Representatives
{ 128 comments }
SarahPAC’s got two twats?
She’s twatting at Alaskans to wash their hands. When did she get in the tank?
She’s looking mighty blonde there. I feel I have to wash MY hands now literally, having looked at her…twat. No, figuratively I guess I need an eye-wash.
I’m no gynecologist, so I think I was being rude.
John McCain is lowman on her “Favorites” list eh? I wish she wuz a Secessionist too! Isn’t Alaska like Quebec anyway?
OK I did it. I finally took the bait and clicked a link to a twitter. Now I just want to go vomit and call my HMO to find out if they cover lobotomies.
She is like some meth/vicodin addled Lady Macbeth wandering the snow wringing her hands as she hopes that repeated washings will somehow get them clean.
I thought twister was only for the old folks?
Is she going to twit about Trig and Trip or has she already twatted that?
One simple question, Twit– I mean, Sarah– WTF are you doing?
she’s got to get herself back out there before Miss California, U.S.A. becomes the New Miss Princess Starburst.
BTW: Miss California, I’m thinking of a man, a woman, and another woman (maybe yous?). ZING! Let’s do this thing, Mormon-style.
1. THE MCCAIN STAFF WAS MEAN TO ME.
2. COURIC ISN’T FAIR TO ME.
3. THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT SINGLES ME OUT.
4. STOP MISQUOTING MY STAFF!
Can you imagine what a press conference would have been like.
“VP Palin, what efforts are you making to create liquidity in the market.”
Palin (crying):
LEEMME ALONE!11!
Wonkette misquoted my Twat on the A&P my staff did. Also.
blaming the AP is like blaming her AG. again.
Everybody’s favorite fleshy ball of hate Virginia Foxx is on teh Twitturz too, you know. @VirginiaFoxx
Twat’s the matter? She needs a Hystericalectomy
Gravely misquoted? You mean she’s not dead?
Oh! And more insanely banal conservatwat twittur nooz.
Two twats? In RNC appraisals, that would make her twice as qualified for the ticket as Hillary, who presumably only has one.
Also, the past tense is “twought” http://twitter.com/StephenAtHome
OK, how many guesses will it take to find her password? Ready…GO!
stupid twat.
TinyURL? Obviously, that link goes to child porn.
Sarah, please do tell me all about your Tiny URL. I really really want to know.
Since I’m not a twittering twit let me ask, is it possible to go back and redo your tweets? Since her mouth and I’m guessing fingers will outrace her brain there may be some blowback.
[re=305379]Custerwolf[/re]: I don’t think that’s *quite* the word she’s seeking. Does she mean AP misquoted her using a Barnabas Collins kind of voice?
[re=305370]Hooray For Anything[/re]: in twitter world they are known as Twip and Twig; and since she is so full of crap, her tweets are known as shwitters. also.
She’s following some scary people and I don’t mean the two versions of Hannity
http://twitter.com/LindaInNC
http://twitter.com/simcox
No snowbilly love for crazy old Glen Beck though. Poor Glen is crying in the bathroom again, and he’s not even drunk this time
This is just another get-rich-quick scheme — she’s going to sell off her leftover characters for big bucks. No way she needs 140 of ‘em to utter a (for her) complete thought.
[re=305370]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I tried posting on Twigger, but later found out it was fucking retarded and didn’t work right.
[re=305408]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Guilty snorting laughter from over here.
[re=305359]Bronkers[/re]: Hands? Meh! After reading that I need to wash my brain.
I just know she farts during board meetings.
Two twats? Hmmm. I would pegged [wrong word choice, I know] her for a hermaphrodite. Since she has more balls than Hillary “3 Stones” Clinton.
Clearly, Daddy overindulged her when she was young. Still does, based on what I can see from my front porch here in Canuckistan.
[re=305362]Nerdalicious[/re]: Show us your tits, there’s a string of Mardi Gras beads in it for you.
*What? But I like tits. Is that so wrong?*
Her background image is now my desktop. I fuckin love that twat.
“Be vigilant, AK!” is twat-speak for “Slaughter every pig in the state, NOW!”
If there’s any justice, right now 200 or so infected Mexicans are pooling their pesos to charter a flight to Juneau.
[re=305414]magic titty[/re]: You got a problem with that? *looks south*
Isn’t that just subtle editorializing?
Piyush is Live giving a news conference on the Plague! Is this his answer to Prez yesterday? Again? Another ass like Perry who said he would not take recovery money & now is lapping it up like catnip. Prez gave a brilliant retort last night to these idjets, basically “Look, I don’t want big government either, but dumbya left how many disasters on my doorstep to clean up after, FACT, as he ticked them off one by one!” What’s he supposed to do, let this country slide into the drink, by ignoring the huddled masses, like the last dumb asses?
[re=305416]Canuckledragger[/re]:
Just to be clear that was an Internet pic as a joke, not me.
[re=305430]Nerdalicious[/re]: I liked you better when you were unclear and naked. Though you’re still cool…. Say what now?
[re=305401]bluevelvetelvis[/re]: The fact that she’s twittering with Simcox proves she ain’t gonna back Walnuts in 2010. Why didn’t any of Walnuts people listen when everyone under the sun told them that she uses people & then throws them under the Wasilla library when they are no longer useful to her?
This is the type of woman who would ‘accidentally’ release the brakes on her invalid parents wheelchair because they asked her not to put them in the home that was on the News5 expose.
Where is the blingee with this post?
Palin’s Pussy is in an UPROAR.
[re=305433]Canuckledragger[/re]:
I saaaaid that was a real pic of me (nom nom nom, starving for attention)
[re=305436]bodypolitik[/re]:
Yeah, damn nabbit!
[re=305440]Nerdalicious[/re]:
“Let me be perfectly clear” Dick “Titty” Nixon
When I think of the word ‘enchanted,’ I think of S.P.
So she says AP misquoted her on taking the stimulus $, then when you go look at her tiny URL (the next child’s name!) it says she “acknowledges” that the legislature accepted the $. Next words out of her mouth: gimme that fuckin’ free federal money so I can give it to my high-school buddies!
[re=305436]bodypolitik[/re]:
Ok, I can’t do this today but I was hoping against all hope some genius here would blingee one of those terrifying surgical mask pics all over the place scaring the s**t out of the masses. Fancy it up with diamonds and blingy things.
Like this one here: That is Don’t Mess With Joe in the suitcase. They are throwing him out over the Atlantic. We luv you Joe. F**k ‘em!
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/1466/slide_1466_20818_large.jpg
Sarah’s teeny-weeny url tells us, right under a photo of Herself signing something with her signing-things pen, “Alaska Governor Sarah Palin signed Senate Bill 89 which continues retirement benefits for members of the Alaska Territorial Guard (ATG) while visiting Haines, Alaska on April 29, 2009.” So big deal. What’s that going to cost for just the one day? I guess any remaining copy editors in Sarah’s entourage were fed head-first into turkey grinders sometime back in November of oh-eight, for losing her the election and everything.
Just when she’d finally picked out her shoes and pinned on her fugly corsage, word came that the TCOT twat party was over.
Oh great, she has a SECOND twat now?!?! Can’t wait to see how many kids she’ll shit out of that one.
Sarah’s natural talent to talk in incoherent sentence fragments has finally paid off.
In what regards, twitter?
Flashdance called. They want their signature font back.
May God forgive me, I’d STILL hit it.
Aside from Wonkette, how many times have you all heard the word “twat” today – for me it was just once when I had my performance review.
[re=305458]DeLand DeLakes[/re]: I’m betting she names the next one Trog.
Hey if you blow up her avatar you can see Our Lord Jesus floating behind her, in conservative attire!
[re=305380]StephanieInCA[/re]:
Oh my god, what a milkbaby.
“I sent him a memo on how our irrelevant website should be run, and he didn’t e-mail me back! WAAHHHHH!”
[re=305466]Dog Trombone[/re]: Would that be florida license plate jebus god?
hahaha ads by gooooogle is providing me with a SARAHPAC “donate” ad right next to this post on teh Wonkette and it’s not even a parody. Twatted! Also.
LEAVE SARAH’S TWATS ALONE!! YOU LIBRALS ARE RUNNING SCARRED FROM HER AMERICAN BELUGA UddERS.
What? No dead animals on her page?
Ah, I think I understand now: Twitter is like a comments section with only one commenter.
[re=305487]jimh[/re]: Is that a Stars and Bars on the pin on that SaraPac picture? Then again, Jefferson Davis was in drag when he was captured
[re=305379]Custerwolf[/re]: yeah, how do you gravely misquote someone? Maybe she’s referring to Mike Gravel. And her staffer was standing on a lakeshore saying nothing.
I think they all need to get Twanked.
http://www.twanked.com
You can trust us, we are on the internets!
Why does Wonkette choose to conflate the Luminous Acid-Washed Transcendence of our Governor with some debauched celebration of a patently retarded aesthetic? The latter view is an easier pill to swallow — sorry, snort (I forgot where I was for a moment); the former fact reveals itself, like all things Palin, through majestic vistas: http://tinyurl.com/cw2vec
[re=305418]Elastic Syntax[/re]: You too? She’s a towering Amazon! Towering over…wasteland!
oh fuck another s.king reference.
[re=305466]Dog Trombone[/re]: Hey, give her her props, she’s a baby machine. When you’re talking mindless, you hit the jackpot there.
I solemnly vow if Mrs Tommy doesn’t put her freakin’ book down at some point tonight, I will earnestly fap to Sarah-cuda. It’s the schoolmarm thing.
[re=305449]Nerdalicious[/re]: Not Blingeed, but worth a look. Seriously:
http://hotguysinflumasks.blogspot.com/
I’d hit the Cheryl Teigs Palin version on her Twatter page. She, unlike Beehive Palin, probably does anal on the first date.
Of course, I’d never call her again after I fled her apartment at 4:30 am, but hey.
“stop misquoting my staff” — said the man with the talking penis.
Her second Twat is the real mother of Trig, obvs.
[re=305503]Permanence Whitney[/re]: You are wordy. I like that.
Stimulus package sounds so dirty coming from her twat.
[re=305444]V572625694[/re]: Call Me Url.
ugh her handwriting is like mine. What does that say about me? The perfect ending to a perfect day.
Besides the fact that, ooh, I like her hair down like that, she’s a little mystified about where at least some of her state is. Check out the tweet thanking the folks in Haines and Skagway — when you go to her site, she’s gladhanding at John C. Haines Elementary School, which is, sadly, in Chicago. The school in Haines (Alaska) is just called Haines Elementary School.
I think the post in question just got pulled, or am I not good at using the Twats.
[re=305396]chascates[/re]: No, no, no. She’ll merely claim that Twitter twisted her tweet to make her look like a liar. Also.
Twunt twitters–twuly twerrible.
[re=305541]northernbassist[/re]: Twop it!
Perfect! Finally something Miss Palin can handle, coherently.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
What she really said was “I changed my mind about stimulating his package”.
Resulted in red, white and blue balls, very patriotic!
[re=305405]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Are you kidding me? She’s going to need 140 characters to get out a single syllable alla Couric gotcha media interview.
What is it about the conservatives and twatting? They learn to use on electronic tool and it’s the short, stupid one. What do the Twitter twat founders think of this? I can’t wait until the world figures out the twitters will never figure a way to make money from their annoying device and go out of business.
My prediction: Just as the Republithugs start to crawl their way out of the abyss of their own fail, Twitter will collapse and they will sink back into the muck.
I can’t wait.
140 characters of pure, godly bliss— and occasional political suicide. BUT NOT FOR PALIN!
So far only State legislatures. But whatever! Bliss!
[re=305398]One Yield Regular[/re]: Aghhhh!!! Dark Shadows. Thanks for the memories!!
[re=305466]Dog Trombone[/re]: Long as she can’t get up once you’re through that’s fine by me.
One person’s misquote is another’s presidential primary platform.
— William Douglas
[re=305449]Nerdalicious[/re]: I love Joey Biden. I say whatever is on my mind, too. So sue us.
[re=305512]grevillea[/re]:
Tanks! I just twatted.
[re=305547]bago[/re]: Nope. Twunt encapsulates my feelings about (sob…) my governor perfectly. Let’s make it a pejorative meme, shall we?
JESUS: http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/5641-general/suggestions/129900-hold-a-national-mock-slave-auction
That is what Palin must get on board with. Fucking A.
[re=305561]DustBowlBlues[/re]:
Me too. They blow his comments way out proportion. Haven’t we had enough of snake like serpents hiding out in undisclosed locations for 8 yrs. I think they should do a poll on Joe’s likeness, that would shut them up.
[re=305565]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Oh they need to do that one, yes.
“Still no reported cases of swine flu, AK! Why are we always last? Socialism.”
What? No Press Conference tonight?
Love the background picture on her Twitter page (the one with the Paint Shop Pro signature). She’s standing ankle deep in snow, towering over her state like some sort of infernal she-yeti.
I guess if it’s coming from her twat it’s guaranteed to be retarded.
[re=305574]Mr Blifil[/re]: Or going into her twat, for that matter.
AP gravely misquoted my staff as saying that I no longer enjoy wearing black rubber while hunting kittens, small puppies and Eskimos.
Apparently Sarah is following the twats of the WHO, CDC, and Bill Richardson. Concerned about swine flu much?
[re=305575]Custerwolf[/re]: or living in her twat if Levi Johnston has anything to say about it.
ot: This would be fucking brilliant to watch: http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/5641-general/suggestions/65817-shadow-government
also “be Michael Steele” (dog included): http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/5641-general/suggestions/65221-be-michael-steele
Be sure and post your rude tweets to Sarah here and the reply you get from the intern who’s operating her twat.
Wait. Sarah – you’ve spoke to us before about how both His rod and His staff comfort you[wink-wink], but now here you are accusing one of them of speaking out of turn? How can this be?
[re=305562]Nerdalicious[/re]: I just queefed.
[re=305439]echoman2000[/re]: Hot Tuna.
[re=305527]smartypants[/re]: Hhahahahahahahahahahahh………ad infinitim….
[re=305579]A Harlequin Bromance[/re]: “Levi Johnston” Dude was born with a ready-made stage name. Now poor Mercede (got rest her absent consonant), she was destined for stardom, but everytime she audtioned it seemed something was missing.
Anyway, what were you saying?
[re=305520]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: You got it backwards! You can’t Trig without a Twat. What you do with the second Twat you pass off as Tripp. The end.
So this is the official death knell of Twitter, right?
[re=305660]Cicada[/re]: Fucking finally, a voice of reason. Yes. Many of these people need to be banned. Particularly those who have 20 or more consecutive comments in a row. Death to them.
Twitter needs to revise this twit’s page to read “Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!
Haha! I looked at her Twat site (she looks like a really dorky Charlie’s Angel) and the twits (or whatever) that Sarah, Queen of Alaska is following are hilarious. I don’t tweet or twoot or whatever, mostly because I have about 26 million things that are more interesting and vital to my existence, but the number of stupid people the Empress of Idiocy is following leads me to ask – how can she sound out the words fast enough to follow them all? Oh and she apparently follows Newsweek so she must be a genius and wants to be besties with Katie Couric so she can win an award for her smartness too. Also.
I believe it is official. But there’s no way that actual Sarah Palin has anything to do with that twitter account.
[re=305356]Czn939[/re]: Why yes she does. She’s married to one of them.
[re=305695]archaeo-angel[/re]: Yes- among many goons she follows is the fake bill oreilly twitter page- whoeever owns this needs to take advantage asap
http://s3.amazonaws.com/twitter_production/profile_background_images/10758186/SP_TwitterBG5.jpg
I think everyone in america should use this for their twitter background…
[re=305477]Tommmcatt[/re]: Yep. Somebody didn’t get back to that TCOT twat for a *week*, and now he’s taking his football and going home?
Do you all begin to see how *little* we have to fear from these guys? They can’t get along. They can’t agree on a message or strategy. They can’t run anything.
They used to be able to run Spin, back in the glory days of that shitweasel Karl Rove, but they can’t even get consistent spin going on anything anymore. For example, for all the “biggest protest in American History” hype they generated, I bet you more than 99 out of 100 people can’t tell you WTF all that Big Media Drama was even *about* … and that include the folks who went to the demonstrations.
I’m charmed that they all love Twitter, too. Of all the world’s various modes of communication, Twitter is the best ever at exposing total vapidity, since the format inherently encourages and rewards shallowness and vapidity.
Here is her twitter background is fixed now you’re welcome!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v387/MrMorton/Sarazilla.jpg
[re=305572]sezme[/re]: If you squint you can see Russia in the distance.
Misquote THIS staff, bitch!
[re=305477]Tommmcatt[/re]: The best part is that whole “I didn’t ask for a cut of his PJTV profits” thing. Of course you did, you greedy douche – how else could you support your twink porn habit?
On the other hand, PJTV profits? The mind boggles.
She may be in the gutter, but she’s looking up at the stars: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_U9BYy0da6hA/R-xgL0amV6I/AAAAAAAAAJY/jiozUKDiBxo/s400/Farrah%2BFawcett%2Bposter.jpg
Comments on this entry are closed.