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Here is your Robert Gibbs trying to explain to the gotcha media that when Joe Biden said “Anyone in America who goes into any sort of enclosed space will die like hotcakes,” he really meant, “God bless the troops,” because nobody messes with that Joe. (?). This does not satisfy America’s top newsman, Jake Tapper, and everyone laughs at nothing. [Ben Smith]
3:10 PM
on Thu April 30 2009
By
Jim Newell
1634 Views
Wonkette
“die like hotcakes”? You mean there are such things as LIVING HOTCAKES?!?!?!?!? AHHHHHHHH!!11
Robert Gibbs is a hero to bullshitters everywhere. Bless that man.
It’s a shame that Jake won’t be feeling well tomorrow. That’s not even remotely what he meant to feel like tomorrow.
Agggghhh!!!1 POLITICO!! Comments, they burnzez:
“Biden is an ass. The MSM just continues to ignore his daily boners. Journalism died in 2008.”
I love, love, love that last part, cuz’ journalism was so cold crack awesome BEFORE 2008..
Oh, that’s so cute how they translate the Biden crazy-uncle talk! It’s like that long ago Kids in the Hall sketch with Manson as Lassie, and he’d say those crazy-ass Manson things about Helter Skelter and killing the pigs and Mom would hear, “What’s that boy? Timmy down the well?”
Also, when Biden says that everyone in the White House is now dying of the flu, he really means he’s seeing signs of an upturn in the economy.
WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!111!!1Be careful out there.It’s like when someone asks me, how you doing?
And I answer. I’m doing fine. How are you?
What I realy mean is.
IT’S 6 OCLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING I GOT A HANG OVER AND I FEEL LIKE SHIT.
Let Joe be Joe.
Let someone speak the truth to us.
It’s funnier/scarier that way.
Joe means what he says, as long as what he says means something totally different than the actual words that come out of his mouth.
If the VP is close to fear mongering then what the hell is the blessed media doing, “Mr. Tapper,” if that is your name, you fucking asshole.
Thank god the media is finally taking a stand against fear mongering. Or is it just too much competition for them?
At least no one can accuse him of using a TelePrompTer.
i’m not getting on an airplane or a subway. WTF is wrong with honesty, Trapper Jack?
The Cold Sea: Protecting their turf.
Jake’s getting new Jesus plates that say
DED MF
Some world class haters in the comments on that
shitesite.When Gibbs says “what he meant to say”, he means “what we wish he had said”.
BIDEN, THE VEEP IS JUS SAYIN DIS BECAUSE HE AND HILLARZ CLINTONS (SEC OF STATE) HAS DA ANTIDONTES AND WANT TO TAKE OVER FROM BERAX HUSSAIN OBAMBI
Time to lock Biden in Cheney’s vault.
Robert Gibbs new full time job: Deciphering Joe crazy time. I’m just kidding I agree with Cave Man, what a nice honest person after that Dark Lord VP. He’s the REAL regular Joe, not that imposter non-plumber ass. On the amusing side I picture Joe & Prez together like the classic Odd Couple with Matthau & Lemmon. Friends, but oh when they move in together!!!!!!!!!!! Prez=Felix, Joe=Oscar. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPC5dQo_Rxk&feature=related Best line in movie ever: “I told you 158 times, stop leaving little notes on my pillow. I got a note the other day that said “We’re all out of Corn Flakes, FU. It took me 3 hrs. to figure out FU was Felix Unger”. I like the roof scene better but couldn’t find it.
Where does one find people like Gibbs?
Are they dug out of the ground, howling madly, and then tamed at a strange kennel until they are fit to read off cards?
I’m waiting for him to scream “Do not question the god-king, I will slay you!” and leap upon the reporters with gnashing teeth and rage.
At least Dana Perino was something to look at while being lied to.
What Gibbs meant to say, “The only time you going to see that motherfucker on TV again is standing next to a coffin of some third rate dictactor in a country far away from here.”
Meh. He’s still about 50000% less dangerous than Cheney.
Also, fear-mongering, LULZ!
I hope the next time Jake Tappers he gets an STD.
Heq: Gibbs is a mere pup compared to Ari Fleischer, the only compenent person in the Bush adminstration. I hated the Bush adminstration but loved when Ari would give that patented look of contempt while making up a bald-faced lie. Gibbs has much to learn from the master. Dana was able to get away with a lot of shit because the whitehouse correspondents were all wondering what she would look like in her undies (including Helen Thomas).
where’s jeff gannon and his shaved pubes to ask ludicrous questions when you need him? no way that a reporter would’ve even had half-a-ball to ask some question of a vice-president’s “fear mongering” last time around. ftw!
Maybe air travel statistically isn’t the safest way to fly, after all.
answerbird: I still want to see her in her underwear having the Cuban Missile Crisis explained to her by my uh, Minuteman. Shit wait, that came out wrong…
Said it once, said it a skidillion times - Gibbs is the only person in White House history who has ever actually enjoyed this job. He is the man at the picnic with two cases of ice cold beers and an atomic fly swatter.
Heq: Alabama. Srsly. Also.
marioninnyc: That was the Ben Stiller show. It was extremely funny. They also did a ” Ask Charles Manson” ie helpful hints from Heloise.
Expect to hear about Joe Biden’s exciting and unexpected fact finding mission to Antarctica soon, of unsure duration, possibly 4 to 8 years.
leave joe alone!!!!
Hopey is (not so) secretly thankful for Gaffey Joe because now it’s at least one day if not more that everyone will be hyperventilating over Joe rather than putting the pressure on Barry. And Lego Jesus I hope most people understand what a fucking doucheclown is that Tapper. Exhibit 1 in the case against trusting anything those assclowns say/write.
Reminds me of Brian Williams going on Countdown earlier this week. It was SO FUCKING IMPORTANT to talk about planes flying low over Manhattan (yes, it was stupid, but no one died) but he doesn’t bother to drop by when we’re shoveling trillions at the banks or stone cold crushing the auto unions. Nothing to see here folks, move along, oh look at this shiny object, pay your taxes.
Jake Tapper is his fantasy porn name. The only thing that ridiculous fuck is tapping is Rosey Palms (with his favorite 8 x 10 glossy of Dick Cheney) - while Chip Reid watches.
What Joe meant to say was, the pig is a filthy animal, and he doesn’t dig on swine.
Oh, Joe…bless your heart. And you probably don’t even realize that you
are the president’s anti-assassination insurance.
As I get to know Joe more and more, I am amazed how much restraint he showed
at the VP debate.
Heq: I wish we could find more people like Gibbs. I, for one, would buy a ticket to see him “leap upon the reporters with gnashing teeth and rage.” And I hope he has a communicable disease when he bites them (starting with Ed Henry, of course, then he is free to move on to Tapper and assembled company.)
trondant: I don’t think you would have a chance to get it out of your silo.
Biden’s actual words: ““Anyone in America who goes into any sort of enclosed space will die like the GOP’s chances in 2010, or a Mexican trying to make it to Califonia in August by crossing the Gila Desert with 5 kids strapped to his back.”
I feel like the White House Press Corps are the laziest dumbfucks on the planet. These guys probably get boners reading Thomas Friedman and Dan Brown books. GAAAAAHHHH! HATE STUPID PEOPLE.
Look what happened to Cool Hand Luke. He went into the box, but they couldn’t break him. Biden can’t be right.
Back tunes for Gibbs’ answer:
“Hey, Joe, where you goin’ with that foot in your mouth?”
“Foot-loose and fancy free.”
“I fought the foot and the foot won.”
But seriobiz, with GWB out of office, we need Joe to keep our looney-side up. Barry is measured and staid. His words always suggest competence. Gawd, how borrrrring. It’s like being in summer school algebra class … for a third time.