Wonkette
Famous talky-mouth Joe Biden is always plotting against us, except for part of this week when he was a Hero for talking so much to Arlen Specter that Specter had enough and said, “Okay, Jesus fucking Christ, Joe, whatever, I’ll be a Democrat. I’ll be a fucking Scientologist Mel-Gibson Catholic Turkish Imam if that’s what it takes for you to shut up.” And then we, as a nation, said, “Well Biden is good for something after all.” But then he spoke today, about something else — PIG DEATH FLU PANDEMICS — and now the travel industry wants him to apologize and then die.
The trouble usually comes when Biden says something that might be true and not really controversial, except it’s something presidents and vice-presidents are not supposed to say. Today, Biden said he wouldn’t let his family get on an airplane right now, because he doesn’t want them to catch this terrible disease which is transmitted very easily within the confined space and stale, virus-laden oxygen of an airplane cabin.
Airlines simply do not care for this kind of talk from Biden.
“To suggest that people not fly at this stage of things is a broad-brush stroke bordering on fear-mongering,” American Airlines spokesman Tim Smith told The Associated Press. “The facts of the situation, at this stage anyway, certainly don’t support that.”
And the U.S. Travel Association put out a statement basically saying Biden should shut up.
Asked about Biden’s scary performance on the Today show, Robert Gibbs just laughed and made up something and then everybody laughed because, that Joe Biden!
Biden’s remarks on swine flu draw criticism [ABC News]
“A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth.”
–Michael Kinsley
Joe Biden: America’s Lovable Drunk Uncle
“The facts of the situation, at this stage anyway, certainly don’t support that.”
In a few days, everyone who travels on a plane will die of the Pig Flu. But at this stage, I wouldn’t worry too much.
I’ll bet he’s fun at parties.
Did Specter leave his brain mike on again?
Uh oh’s. This just in……….team who accompanied Prez to Mexico are suspected of having swine flu & are being tested. Weird I thought the incubation period would have been over by now
Biden just wanted to make sure the seat next to him stayed empty on his next Amtrak trip.
Speaking of which, riding in the 2nd car back on the Red Line leaving Twinbrook tonight at 6:00pm is basically like signing your own death warrant.
Why does Biden care? Doesn’t the VP get his own plane?
Nerdalicious: Yeah, that is weird, that trip was like 2 weeks ago.
There’s a “when pigs fly” joke in here somewhere, but I’m hungova…
Dave J.: he might have had it for the past week and just thought it was a cold and now is freaking out and getting tested. The World Bank dude was sick and is better already and they are just testing him for the antibodies.
Am I the only one who WANTS to get this thing right now? I mean, nearly everyone in the US who gets it now lives, and doesn’t even really seem to get that sick, plus right now we’ve got a mad surplus of Tamiflu and etc.
Good thing I’m hopping on an airplane and flying this weekend. I’m not going to cancel my trip, but have already looked into some sort of way of hermetically sealing myself into some sort of cyrogenic freezer for the duration of the trip.
Joehoya: In a few days, everyone who travels on a plane will die of the Pig Flu.
Don’t Fear the Reaper.
Wasn’t it called “Captain Trips”?
you are contagious for a week+ after you feel better. So the world bank guy probably touched every metro seat and every escalator railing around the city before he got tested. Sigh
Hooray For Anything: hey, me, too. Looking forward to it, since I always get sick after flying anyway, so now I am going to get really sick. Hooray.
I love me some Gaffey Joe but if I get a free ticket to the Hustler stripjoint on Bourbon Street I AM flying down there.
Why does the VP have to apologize to an industry?
And this whole pigbird uber-flu EPICdemic is being sanitized by
the pork industry. Have you ever been within ten miles of a pig farm?
Those places are like bio-weapons development labs.
Mild Midwesterner: Indeed the veep does get his own pimped-out 747; they call it Air Force 2 when he’s aboard. That didn’t help Obama, though.
PLAGUE! PLAGUE! THE BLACK DEATH! DON’T FLY!
Especially the first week of June when I’m going to Italy, thank you.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, whose hometown of Vegas kinda depends a little on air travelers and whatnot, hmmmm?, released a typically restrained statement this a.m.: “Geebus Crispies Joe, shut the fucking fuck up forever!”
Seriously:
REID STATEMENT ON SAFE TRAVEL
Washington, D.C. – Nevada Senator Harry Reid released the following statement urging Nevadans to remain calm and follow the guidance of state and federal health experts.
“As we continue to follow the recommendations of DHS, HHS, CDC officials and health experts to help reduce the risk of infection and stay healthy, we must also follow their guidance as it relates to travel. These experts have not advised people to cancel their travel plans; in fact, they are encouraging all of us to continue going about our business while following safe public health practices. This flu is cause for caution, not panic. We are fortunate to have highly skilled health care experts in this country. Our best defense is to remain calm, use common sense, and follow their recommendations.”
Czn939: PETA agrees
http://dcist.com/2009/04/peta_asks_to_set_up_pig_pen_at_capi.php
I think it is terrible that we have a Vice-President who is exploiting everyone’s most basic fears. The last one we had never did that sort of thing.
Cape Clod: You win.
Joe’s backed by his buddies in the Credit Card industry, without which the American Travel Industry would wither and die - so, there just may be a “eat a bag of dicks” statement coming from the VP’s office this afternoon…
Cape Clod: yeah, but Mr. “Darth “So” Cheney did it for personal gain. It is not clear why Joe has perpetual foot-in-mouth disease. He really needs a muzzle.
Everyone knows superheroes must have a silly, laughable sidekicks. Barry and Biden are a modern-day Plastic Man and Hula Hula.
There’s no cause for alarm — we’ll just react with our usual good sense. The rich will all retreat to their mountain/country/beach hideaways, and the poor will muddle along in the towns and villages and die horribly.
magic titty: Everyone knows superheroes must have
asilly, laughable sidekicks. Barry and Biden are a modern-day Plastic Man and Hula Hula.magic titty Fail.
Joe really needs to be kept in an undisclosed location. Or always be on a train, like the MX missile.
How will he get back to Scranton?
Dave J.:
That’s the thing about this, professionals are saying this flu is a mystery, even to them. Did I scare you even more??????????
About Joe, first of all the greatest pic ever of him. He seems like the kind of person you could never get mad at. I just don’t see the big deal. I think you’re just dealing with opposite personalities here, so Joe’s talkiness seems more pronounced. I hate to say it, but I would want to have a beer with him. Haven’t we heard that one enough!
Mahousu: Oh crap. So I’ll die if I get in that car here at medical Center.
Die.
I’m gonna Die!
Ooooh noes!!!!
I’m not smart enough to get on a different car.
Mild Midwesterner: I thought VPs had to ride coach. Well unless you are the Darth Cheney with your own space ship and all.
You guys - you really make me laugh, you know that?
51dimes:
I was thinking the same thing you read my mind. Funny.
Why don’t just they give him a Mexican pig instead?
freakishlystrong: “There’s a “when pigs fly” joke in here somewhere, but I’m hungova…”
You mean “when swine flew?”
Dave J.: OK, the WaPo is now saying it was a staffer of Chu, he is well now, he gave it to his wife and kids, everyone is doing fine.
Vegastard: Reid ain’t from Vegas. He’s from the metropolis of Searchlight.
Vegas is dead anyway so don’t bother going.
Oh I get to go home to Vegas at the end of May. I’ll look in the desert for all the pig death rotting corpses.
Biden should issue a correction, which is that no one should ever fly American Airlines for any reason.
Judas Peckerwood: owwwwwwch!
So that’s why the pulled the Kidz-n-Death FEMA coloring book…to add a few comics picturing deadly scenarios such as boarding a plane or taking mass transit.
snideinplainsight:
I know, I’m mostly a fan than a participant. You should have read the posts from the Press Conference yesterday (& the blingees), & if you ever get a chance, my fav Larry King’s twittering.
NoWireHangers: Everfreakinlovin WIN.
Hooray For Anything: Just open the windows.
Biden meant to say “coke jag”, not airplane.
@Tommysays so: I have some leftover Beaver Bucks you can have.
SayItWithWookies: I have a better idea. Why don’t we all take a pilgrimage to Canterbury and stop at an inn and tell each other witty stories in verse and prose?
About the barrage of surgical mask (& giant microbes, oy vey!) pics…first of all, I heard one of those Gupta/Oz/Ornott famous Docs say they are unecessary. Also, someone should make them fashionable already, fancy them up etc….Queer Eye for the Swine Guy. Someone should make a blingee. I’m too busy today. Anyone?
SayItWithWookies:
Republican Health Care Plan.
Do we all get to take turns with SKS in an enclosed place? I’ll wear a mask, honest! Just so it won’t be, you know…weird.
NoWireHangers: Same goes for Northworst.
Custerwolf:
& Chascates, Hi! How are all the animals today? If I don’t answer for awhile I’m in & out & busy today.
Cape Clod: A Chaucer reference. Nicely done.
Doglessliberal: Maybe Biden should be put in charge of Bo. He could talk all he wants to him and Bo is just going to think ‘Sausages? Sausages?’
Nerdalicious: You’re on the right track, plus fetishists don’t need surgical masks…..except the nurse roleplayers I suppose.
If you smoke an 1/8 of an oz of Mexicano weed a night, you gain immunity.
Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!:
What did you say yesterday that made me bust a gut, I forgot, I’ll have to research. Yeah, I’m in the medical field, so Ooh La La! I have had in certain times in my life a house & car full of every type of medical supplies imaginable, a veritable hospital full. I used to joke around a lot & say “Well, at least I’ll be the most popular person around during a Pandemic”! Ha Ha. I shudder at that joke now.
I need to buy like $3k of tix on US airlines next week. If Biden keeps up his good work, I hope to half this price.
Nerdalicious:
Got it! About Bootylicious (my sister), singing, “At Last” before every press conference! You made a funny & made me laugh!
Hooray For Anything: English Major. It came in handy when I owned a taxi company.
Well this is just fucking great. Now I have to worry about the following:
Brain Serum
Commusocio-Fascism
TeleProMPterz
Interrment CAmpuses
Mayan Pig Latin Tongue
Bad Spelling
and NOW……
The Mutha Fuckin HNIC virus.
Goddamit. Likker Store. NOW.
Nerdalicious: If you’re wearing scrubs, you don’t need a pandemic to be popular.
It’s good to have a guy like Biden who goes around and says stupid shit all the time. Because everytime he opens his mouth, people say “Wha?” and then the media covers the crap out of it, and then Jay Leno makes jokes about it, talk radio talks about it forever, and the media covers the coverage and asks if they are covering it too much and what does it all mean? Then Twitter is wasting everybody’s goddamned time. Meanwhile, Hopey can slide in and go “Shazam” and “poof” and socialize another major industry, for the government and the muslin church. And, acorn, also.
and you can’t get served in a D.C. convenience store unless you have a slight indian accent
Nerdalicious: Mine are good. And lazy. Just like me.
chascates:
I think you, me, Custerwolf & Hobo should lock us & our menageries up, as this plague thing is getting worrisome.
I’m flying to Texas this weekend, and I’ll be sure to cough on EVERYONE I SEE both on the way there and on the way back!
Cape Clod: My English Degree really came in handy for a never ending series of admin jobs
As goofy as Joe looks in that photo, I have to say that that is not HIS left hand. I believe the gentleman seated to Joe’s left knew the answer before he did and was raising his hand, so of course Joe had to have a complete cow.
The Today show announced that they’re scrapping their annual vacation series and Matt Lauer will no longer be doing his “Where in the World is Matt Lauer?” bit. I wasn’t scared before but if Matt Lauer is scared, then OMGZ RUN FOR THE FILLS!!!!!!!
NoWireHangers: Thank you. That’s exactly what I was thinking. My hate of flying has nothing to do with pig ills. I will, thou, put this aside for the trip to Vegas in September to see Nickelback…
Nerdalicious: Give yourself some credit. Your participation here has been a big plus.
To my knowledge, you are the only commenter here to post up pictures of your very female boobies, despite many, many calls for that very thing from the commentariat in general.
We each contribute in our own way.
Lascauxcaveman:
Thanks! I think though, that others are much funnier & pithy then I. I try, oh wells. Oh, you & my breasts! Did you read in the wee hours of the morning last night that I whispered in your ear that you can draw on my cave walls anytime? Hey, & I found the cool site for you. I love the flashlight cursor effect (no it’s not porn).
http://www.culture.gouv.fr/culture/arcnat/lascaux/en/
Hi Custerwolf! I really do need to get some work done now I’ve been meandering here too long. Later.
Here’s the video of Gibbs cleaning up Biden’s mess:
http://www.gotchamediablog.com/2009/04/robert-gibbs-tells-press-corps-what-joe.html
Nerdalicious: Lascauxcaveman: Agreed, Lascauxcaveman….we who are about to fap salute you.
Hooray For Anything: Maybe they are changing it to a staycation series to reflect the current economic clime? They can call it “Where in his multi-million dollar Upper West Side brownstone is Matt Lauer?”
SayItWithWookies: I have always wanted to live out the Decameron. Now I will finally get to!
Cinco de Mayo to be canceled this year! We’ll just skip to the 6th and have two fourths of July!
Nerdalicious: Hi Nerdie - I’ll probably be at work when you get back (I only work a few hours though).
Nerdalicious: I am not worried, and neither should you be. Scientists see this flu strain as relatively mild.
I am more afraid of coyotes getting to my kittehs than ManBearPigFlu killing me. Plus I haven’t seen another human other than my wife since Sunday morning. Yes it is sad that some people have died but when this is all over I believe those who have died will be shown to have already weakened immune systems, and their numbers will not be very high. Already this aide to Choo Choo & his family are recovered. Doesn’t sound like they were ever on death’s door. We have more to fear from wingtards wanting someone to blame because they hate Mexicans than from ManBearPigFlu.
And I still love Gaffey Joe. Fuck the travel industry. They’ve sucked on the federal teat a bit themselves (post 9/11 & whenever the airlines almost fail, which is always) and should STFU.
I love Joe, his big mouth, and husky follicles. Fuck everyone else.
Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!:
The Japanese include surgical masks as part of high fashion.
http://staging.madison.com/blogs/babel/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/masks.jpg
yeah, Biden’s a real asshole. now can we have $40 billion more because it took us 25 years to figure out we don’t need to fly 14 flights a day between St. Lake City and Boise?
hobospacejunkie:
Hi! Oh yes, I was just kidding around. As they say the “regular” flu kills 35,000 here alone. That’s a lot. Oh yes, people who are already sick you are right. I am the hand washing fool because I’m in the medical field. I’ve been singing the “I Told You So Song” from Will & Grace to everyone I know this week. I’m always screaming about the simple but effective Hand Washing! It seems (I don’t know why), that the strain directly in Mexico is worse. I don’t know why. People seemingly here are not dying as much. mmmm Mystery. BTW, I was so tired last night I didn’t realize you had 180 pics of your baby! I only saw the lizard shot. What a beautiful kitty. Siamese are so majestic. Brought back memories of my childhood. Weirdly, I just had an incident with my baby but she’s alright. She’s playing like a maniac again, so all is well!
Custerwolf:
Hey! How are ya, animal angel? I had this idea earlier, but I can’t do it today, someone please make a dressy blingee of all these creepy surgical mask pics. Like Queer Eye For The Swine Guy. Oh & I so agree with lovin’ Joe our wonderful VP. What a refreshing person. Yeah, f**k all these on edge crappy industries. We luv you Joe!
Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!:
Kissy.
Tommmcatt: exactly. and Bush is America’s least favorite drunk fail of an uncle and later, our formerly drunk fail of an uncle who’s somehow worse because he’s on the wagon.
Nerdalicious: Fortunately I has the OCD with the handwashing. Wasn’t much fun growing up, but is coming in handy these days.
Thanks for the kitteh picture compliments. I also have hundreds of other pics of my other kittehs. Aside from hummingbirds they are my main subjects (and my soccer team, also, though those pics aren’t so great.) A camera is a good gift for the unemployed, or terminally unemployed in my case. Back to napping…
smartypants:
Sing the Swine Flu Love Song (true)!, it will cheer you up & keep the amino acids away! cnn story.
pat robertsons personal trainer:
Yeah, dumbya the dry drunk!
hobospacejunkie:
Good Luck on the employment front. Yes you can! It will happen I am sure
Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!: Are scrubs like kilts … people who wear them don’t have on underpants?
Nerdalicious: Oh, you & my breasts!
The three of us, we make a pretty good team.
Just kidding. But if fortune somehow causes me to lose my wife, my family, my home, my mind, I’ll send a few more flirts your way, and paint your walls accordingly. I am accustomed to the company of well endowed ladies.
Nerdalicious: I can’t watch the CNNS cuz they haz put M.Bachmann on this morning and I got mad and wrote them a nasty e-mail calling them Foxnews part deux…..
AND THEY REPLIED! Well, their computer did.
But anyway, I’m on some pinkofaggotbabbykillinmuslinporkflu list now and probably being monitored by just turning on the teevee (those new raygun boxes)….
I’m just sitting here in my tinfoil hat waiting for 5 pm so I can go get the likker and a Smithfielde.
Long story short: I need some lyrics. Anyone? No? Nothing?
Dave J.: (carriers)
smartypants:
The only thing I have lyrics for today is the Flu Song, “Oh, Pig/Bird Flu How Do I Love Thee, May I Count The Ways La La La La”. Putting on Crazy Eyes is like putting on Annie Coulter on and not laughing in her face. PSA! Your tinfoil hat nullifies the monitoring.
Lascauxcaveman:
I’ll be waiting wink wink…………..Ok, are they gone yet?
So . . . if we don’t fly, then the terrorist virus wins?
Nerdalicious:
How about this:
Pig, yeah!
Bird, yeah!
Man, yeah!
PIG BIRD MAN YEAH
Everybody have you heard
We’re gonna die from the Smithfield herd
And if that Smithfield herd had wings
They would fly to Manhattan and shit on things..
Someone else take over. I’m overcome with emotion. And itching (tinfoil. hat.)
Nerdalicious: Good Luck on the employment front. Yes you can! It will happen I am sure
I wasn’t clear enough in my earlier post. I am terminally unemployed, but by choice. Or rather, as I usually say, I’m gainfully unemployed. I’m a househusband. I realize it’s bad form to say this out loud here, but I have no plans to get a job. I hope those that want work find it soon. They won’t face any competition from me.
hobospacejunkie:
Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize. Good for you!
smartypants:
Haaaaaaaaaaa! Good one! Blackbird funny.
I’m continually amazed that EVERY industry in America is on/past the brink of death. Every chance they get, they are HOLLERING about how near COLLAPSE that entire industry is. Cars, banks, travel, food, cable, electricity, oil, gas…all industries are thisclose to failure. Ridiculous. Party on, Joe.
Jukesgrrl: In a perfect world.
God damn it this country needs a vice president we all can relate to.
He did invent the mask that you can wear during deadly flu outbreaks and still smoke ciggies out of at the train station.
Joe is actually the perfect misdirection play for the enchanted one.
Needs moar Blingee
http://image.blingee.com/images16/content/output/000/000/000/559/438481544_1680857.gif