Call it the Road to Recovery, you queer fink motherfuckers: a web ad from the RNC, to commemorate Obama’s 100 days of Famine, posted yesterday and immediately pulled for being terrible. Watch what appears to be a Southern white man doing his “blacky voice” over video of Obama’s inauguration speech.

The introductory text reads, “100 days ago, a man read a grand speech from a TelePrompter. What if the Teleprompter had accidentally switched to reality-mode?” Then: “A parody from the RNC.” OH JESUS, RUN.

Apparently an “edited version” will come out later today, so that will probably just be a sweaty Haley Barbour or whatever yelling “n***er” for three minutes.

[YouTube, HuffPo]

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  1. The whole teleprompter thing just drives home the point that they….have….nothing….to….say….anymore

    Embrace your Irrelavence(sp?), RNC

  2. Yeah, go ahead, pull it, GOP – the Interwebs nevar forgets!

    “A parody from the RNC” as a disclaimer would’ve looked a hell of a lot better on that “Numbers Are For Commie Faggots” Budget from a month or so back.

  3. [re=304686]Min[/re]: Please recall that a blow job scandal, a very destructive terrorist attack and two horrific wars were required to give Dubya a very dubious 0.000001% edge to stay in the White House.

  4. WHY I LOVE WONKETTE: You guys will fucking say fuck all fucking day long, but you use asterisks for the “n” word. Rock fucking on, motherfuckers!

  5. I mean seriously, this is about on par with video parodies I was producing in 6th grade (but without the mean-spritedness, pernicious falsehoods and latent racism). Are there ANY adults in the room over there at RNC headquarters? Hello?

  6. We all know that wingnuts don’t understand satire, but I hadn’t realised that this also meant that they were atrociously not funny too. Where is Michael Steele or Michelle Bachmann when you need a laugh?

  7. [re=304718]jagorev[/re]: Okay, first off — there’s no way that’s fucking scale. Secondly, she’s got the Bachmann eyes — they burn.

  8. [re=304711]sati demise[/re]: They don’t do comedy largely because they simply can’t. E.g. – the Colbert Report statistics of conservative fail.

  9. [re=304718]jagorev[/re]:

    They’re only about 2 trillion off on their Bush’s-last-day & current debt numbers – guess which way they erred?

    Why don’t they just stick with their strengths? “The GOP: Payola, Pedophilia & Pure Hate” is a pretty snazzy slogan if you ask me.

  10. Whew, this should show the Republicans as the humourous, diverse, progressive party that they really are..really! Shat on them.

  11. HOORAY!!!!! that’s tellin’ em! it appears as though after stealing two elections and the media these buttfucking jizz rags started believing their own press. center right nation my ass. stupid ignorant lazy selfish populace who will believe anything, the past eight years was all your fault. fuck you humanity. is it any wonder i prefer the company of animals?

  12. When, oh when, will the authoritarian, totalitarian, socialiast commie, fascist, black panther muslin in disguise teleprompter stop from taking the gunz away from us real ‘merkins?

  13. [re=304719]LeslieBee[/re]: ‘Cause there’s really nothing wrong with the word Fuck…if you’re a fucking adult. But nigger is a pretty bad word, frankly, with a nasty history.

  14. Christ on toast-tips; it’s just too easy. It’s like one of those canned hunts they’re ever so fond of (though it gets more fun when you shoot a person! In the face!). I’m bored w/this adversary.

  15. [re=304763]chascates[/re]: Reminds me, I think he got booted from Praque last week for espousing racist assholeism. Prague! They practically invented skinheads.

  16. [re=304728]Custerwolf[/re]: You’re funny. And from last night (if you didn’t see my reply earlier this morning,) you’re welcome.

  17. So next time some reactionary tells me to stop with the “race-baiting” when I suggest that the RNC is, despite Michael Steele, an exclusionary Ol’ Boys club for phobic whites, I can just refer them to: the RNC. Convenient!

  18. 1. Why was the intro PowerPoint slide up for 15 seconds? That was a sentence, it doesn’t take that long to read a sentence.
    2. Uhh, what happened to the RNC’s $crilla? That was some low-budget shit. I only made it in about 30 seconds before I had to turn it off to preserve mine eyes.

  19. I’d just like to take this opportunity to say that it’s astounding with all of the experienced talented entertainers at Big Hollywood that this is the best they could do? Ted Nugent wasn’t available to provide a score? Chuck Norris wasn’t available to kick the camera lens for 10 minutes (which would be more intelligible than his opinion columns)? Are the people in charge actually even aware that this was produced or was this done by some over-eager interns who got tired of fapping to photoshopped Palin pics?

  20. For a political ad, that was worse than hilariously awful – at least it would have been hilarious.

    It was just mind-crushingly, gut-numbingly dull. I couldn’t make it past the 50-second mark, and I’ve stared down 3-hour long insurance industry conferences without flinching. Oi, a perfect 10 on the Fail-O-Meter…

  21. [re=304789]rev_matt_y[/re]: And what about Dennis Miller? They couldn’t use him to teach them how to write jokes or does even the RNC realize he hasn’t been funny for years?

  22. When will the GOP learn that they do not have the humor to do parady well? They do hypocracy well, but that is mostly unplanned and serendipitious.

  23. Tom Delay trying to channel Obama is like Michael Steele wearing his cap backwards “because that’s how we roll.”

    There goes 3 minutes of my life I’ll never get back again – and all for the political version of a Vanilla Ice video.

    Thanx for nothing, guys.

  24. [re=304813]Rascalcat[/re]: Here, a little touch of the old spell check button and we’ll have that fixed up right quick:

    (please don’t take offense, it’s just that I’m so suggestible, I’ll start mispelling those words if I keep seeing them like that).

  25. [re=304718]jagorev[/re]: I love how the vertical changes representing debt increases get larger as the debt increases get smaller. And how the made-up debt increase projection they gave for 2012 is actually the smallest interval on the chart.

  26. ACORN should sue them and use the money to get more poor people to vote.

    On top of the “billions” that pundits seem to think was in the stimulus package for them of course.

  27. [re=304850]Godot[/re]: Scale not consistent. Bar at the bottom doesn’t show in the early 90’s when there was a DemocratIC majority. Lies in a graph! As a biostatistician/scientist, it makes me want to kill. Represent the data accurately, or there is a 95% chance of my kicking your ass!

  28. That dang clever Michael Steele is attacking with the technological whoopie cushions, using the innernets and bluberries and all sort of science fiction gizmos that the Dems cannot master. All is lost.

  29. [re=304778]thatonegirlsays[/re]: It takes that long if you have to trace each letter with your finger and sound it out as you try to read.

  30. Apparently “honky with a georgia accent is the new black”

    It would be merciful to take technology away from these guys, it only amplifies the stupid. So, I say we give we ask India to ship us their old computers so that we may donate them to the republicans.

  31. [re=304991]viviangrrrl[/re]: Thank you for being smart enough to get my post! Also, Custerwolf?–if you’re willing to say the n word, you don’t get to claim the high road. Sincerely fucking yours.

  32. [re=305022]LeslieBee[/re]: I fucking OWN the fucking high road. And I’ll drive on which ever side suits my fancy on any given day. You won’t ever hear me say “the n-word” ever. It’s nigger or nothing.

  33. i thought my fucking computer was broken. i kept looking, is it playing, did my connection die? ooooohhhhh riiight, they are nearly illiterate.

    if i wanted to see bullshit pile-ons like the one lesliebee is getting, i’d hang out over at aol or redstate. that behavior is bullshit, y’all.

  34. As I recall, W gave TERRIBLE hypocritical supercilious self-satisfied frat-boy speeches WITH a fucking teleprompter.

    I still remember when he spoke on the national TeeVee from the Texas capital (election eve 2000?) and his eyes would pivot from the screen on one side of the camera to the screen on the other side. Then a few seconds later his head would follow. I KNEW he couldn’t win the election.

    Reality mode… That would be like Mission Accomplished or WMDs or cut the debt in half by 2006, or nobody could have predicted the levees wouldn’t hold, right?

    Sometimes I hope Christians are right, so these slimebags can roast in Hell for eternity.

  35. [re=305155]oldguy[/re]: Bush seemed more natural at the teleprompter, because he couldn’t read one. For instance, he one night gave a speech and ended a sentence, we thought, with “commune” which was weird until he got to the next line and said “ity.”

    I’m guessing that’s the last time they hyphenated a word for that moron.

    The Rs get so hysterical when they’re down. They’re basically just lurching from disaster to disaster, getting more and more hysterical as Hopey gets more and more popular. Remember when Karl Rove was an evil genius the Ds could never defeat? OF course, the Ds didn’t. The Republithugs defeated themselves and along came Hopey.

  36. Tom Delay and Chris Shays are on tweety’s show, saying, I have nothing but respect for Tom but fuck you dickwad, I lost because of you. Delay: Chris and I worked in a very cordial relationship except when he wanted to personally kill that brain dead zombie if Florida.

    Oh, and they both say fuck you to Specter.

  37. [re=305154]cranky[/re]: Let me explain the problem I have, cranky. I have no problem with ANY word including the word nigger. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. And anyone I hear say it in reference to black folks (it’s been years)has a problem much bigger than can be encompassed by any single noun. Why do people insist on giving words such power? Affirmations don’t work – and neither do derogatory statements – unless the person on the receiving end BELIEVES them. I hate that people are offended by goddamned words. That doesn’t mean I run around saying nigger (even when talking with my black relatives). If someone were to call me a mick, I wouldn’t know how to take offense. If they hate the Irish that much, that’s there problem, not mine. Just because someone doesn’t say nigger doesn’t mean they’re a charitable person. They probably just don’t want to get the shit beat out of them. That or their self-image will not allow it. I’s the law of reverse effect. The more you don’t want the word to have power, the more you invest it with such. The more you try to get rid of it the harder it holds on. So knock it off. Some people hate the word nigger the way others hate black folk (and micks). I think it’s all a bunch of shit. Word.

  38. [re=305220]Custerwolf[/re]: “The more you don’t want the word to have power, the more you invest it with such.”
    Let me rephrase that – the more you restrict it’s use, the more power you endow it with. Ask a strident Catholic to say Goddamn or Jesus Christ. They won’t because it’s bad. Why is it bad? Because they BELIEVE it’s bad (thou shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain). Nigger doesn’t mean much to me, because INTERNALLY I have nothing for it to represent. I don’t give 2 shits about the history of the word, or the history of one particular race of people. I lump ALL people together into one hateful mass. Things happen to us as INDIVIDUALS not as groups. Fuck it, I’ll wait till after I smoke some weed before my next comment.

  39. [re=305271]Custerwolf[/re]: not at all what i was talking about. my concern was not content, but form. the hostile, knee-jerk screaming someone down, for what was a fairly harmless expression of affection and opinion is loathsome to me.

    a witty joke in return? some teasing? but screaming someone down for not following the “rules” of what someone is allowed to think on this topic of all thing? on the icky side. particularly because her opinion is thoroughly justifiable, as is yours, in political terms, and in terms of being simply humane. and frankly, i don’t think her comment had enough “in it” to let anyone reading it know what she actually thought, in any meaningful or complex way, and to claim the pile-on was “political” seems a little disingenuous.

    no more talking! snark-on!

  40. yeah lets move on from this discussion. back to the video. i couldn’t even make it thru the 1st 30 seconds. fucking twats

  41. [re=305338]cranky[/re]: Well,you see I missed the harmless affection part. My fault. Perhaps others made the same mistake.I suppose it was the angle from which we were looking that made us see her comment differently. So I agree with you – and thank you for defending her – all but for the disingenuous part. The pile on (at least in my case) wasn’t just for LeslieBee.

  42. Holy Jebedius!!!! I just watched the video a few minutes ago (and I did make it through the whole pathetic thing). How is anyone going to edit this “Barack the Magic Negro” inspired wackaloonfest to make it seem even intelligible? Thank you GOP for ensuring your own demise.

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