Wonkette
Beautiful young Meg McCabe has a new swoonworthy lust object: the figuratively and literally dashing Tennessee Representative Bart Gordon, an exceedingly fast runner for a human! He’s even faster than romantic rival Aaron Schock, who despite being much younger came in second in the Capitol Challenge Charity Race yesterday. (Possible problem: Gordon is a Democrat.) The 60-year-old Gordon won the event again, as he has every year since he was a wee chicken of 40. If Gordon ever retires from legislating, he will have a wonderful career of just running like the dickens. [The Tennessean]
If Bart read Custerwolf, Viviangrrl, or Nerdalicious, he wouldn’t want a fake trollop like Megs. Go for the libtard gals, Bart!
Put a bunch of young male interns, naked, at the finish line and even the oldest, most dementia-ridden Republican congressman woulda won.
Holy fuck. 18 minutes + on a 3 mile course? I’m starting to wonder if Bart Gordon is a Kenyan and not a US American.
Note: personal best on a 3 mile run? 21:52. Fucking tall lanky people with their long legs.
Run, Forest, run…
He’s kind of hot for an oldster.
ManchuCandidate: the Kenyans and Ethiopians are often short. The key is, their bodies are about 90% leg, 10% torso and head. As Chris Rock said (paraphrased):
“You know why Obama will win? Because he’s Kenyan. Kenyans win every race. Did you ever see a marathon? A Kenyan wins every time. If you got on a plane for Vegas right now, and I got on a Kenyan, I’d beat you.”
I’d hit that…
republicans have no frontal lobe or damaged lobes which means they don’t have
certain capabilities like or are subjected to;
1) Alzheimer’s is a progressive neurodegenerative problem. You develop these
plaques that deposit themselves into the brain. They start to cause memory
problems that advance to cognition problems.
2) understanding the concept of ‘tomarrow’.
3) problem solving, spontaneity, memory, language, initiation, judgement,
impulse control, and social and sexual behavior.
http://books.google.com/books?id=Bx_YcN8Ckz0C&dq=no+frontal+lobe&printsec=frontcover&source=in&hl=en&ei=qqj5SaenLKP4tAOMg7HoAQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=11
republicans prefer raw meat dripping with blood and love to smear poop on their faces for “war paint”. The consequences of ‘nuking’ Iran escapes them.
More or less, republicans are not much more intelligent than the family cat, as per Mitch McConnell, Beck, Hannity, Coulter.
And he’s a sharp dresser.
OT - but how come every time I see an item stating “Specter defects”, my brain changes is to “Specter defecates”? Just asking.
prophet1195: Wha?
Doglessliberal:
So true. All the fast runners I know are the same type. Reed thin with long legs.
I’m more torso than leg aka stumpy so I can only gawk and eat their dust.
ManchuCandidate: As someone who runs and loves it and is pretty OK at it, I cannot imagine how a human could run one sub-5 mile, let alone 26.2. These Marathoners cannot be human. I don’t think I could make my legs move fast enough to run one 6-minute mile. But 26.2?? In 2 hours?? When I crossed the finish for a Half I did in March, I thought to myself “self, that’s enough. You are a middle distance runner. 13.1 is just fine. You just run your own pace and be happy.” I will be sticking with 10 milers and half, and I will never be a Kenyan.
prophet1195: More or less, republicans are not much more intelligent than the family cat
I gotta cat named Big Balls who does not care for your comparison. He says republicans are not more intelligent than the family cat, of this you can rest assured. If you care to differ he will gladly tear your face off.
For me at least, the “Romantic Rival” link to Towleroad has bloodhound malware (that is a relatively bad one for anyone at work).
Don’t click it, unless your IT dept. is an understanding lot is cool with you getting re-directed to porno all day.
Hey, that’s my Representative! I am so proud.
Bart cast his gaze upon the lovely Meg McCabe, standing in the crowd. Ah, to be 55 again, he murmured to himself.
For a more literary vibe, perhaps “beautiful young” Meg McCabe should be replaced with “stately, plump” Meg McCabe. More autobiographical. Also.
Min: Hey, another fellow not-insane Tennessean! I am so proud.
Zadig: Min: Me too! Murfreesboro?
Snuggles McButterworth: I’m actually in Nashville.
hobospacejunkie: LOVE that cat!!
Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish!: I don’t think I could keep up with him, damn, I’m really impressed. Of course, being from Tenessee I assume he still talks slow. Just kidding Min.
hobospacejunkie: My dog loves those prickly lizards. He’ll bring one into the house (dead or alive) and give it to me as some sort of offering. I guess I’m the alpha…cats, they’re all alphas.
jesus, so it’s all runners and cat porn here at wonkette? who the fuck knew. . .
Aaron Skatesman will destroy Aaron Schock — there can only be one Aaron.
El Pinche: We don’t get those purty lizards around here. We have slugs. Have you ever tried to wash slug goo off your hands? That shit’s an indutrial strength surfectant. They really should find some marketable use for it. But not if it means harming the poor little guys, mind you.
Custerwolf: “That shit’s an indutrial strength surfectant”
WTF???? I have no idea what the fuck that means- or even says. I was glancing out my window at two deer walking upriver and got distracted - wow, very beautiful - and now - no shit Canadian geese honking overhead. God I love where I live. Anyway, slimy slugs, yeah. I have to look up the word “surfactant” now, since I don’t remember what it means.
Custerwolf: soap
Running fast in Tennessee is just a basic measure for good anal health.
cranky: That’s what I thought. So, is there such a thing as an anti-surfactant? What’s the slimy stuff in our saliva that helps coat food (keep it clean here please)? If your dog licks a bowl you can feel the slimy stuff (which takes lots of detergent to remove). I thought that was a surfactant. Any idea?
cranky: It’s also what coats our lungs and keeps them from sticking together.
Custerwolf: It’s also what Rep. Gordon puts on the bottoms of his sneakers in order to reduce friction. That’s his secret, truth be told.
Custerwolf: Of course, now that I think that one through - you WANT friction on the bottoms of your feet, for max push-off effect. I’m gonna shut up now and run to a library to study some more.
Custerwolf: snot?
cranky: I think snot is in fact a surfactant.
Custerwolf: you could say it was “nearly immiscible”, that’s as close as i can get.
Custerwolf: it’snot
cranky: Jesus - another word to look up. I’ll be right back.
cranky: You cutie.
Rep. Gordon is practicing for the day when all Tennesseans will be carrying concealed. He doesn’t have to outrun the bullet, you understand. He just has to be able to outrun the nearest human shield.
Custerwolf: cranky: Please, you two. Get a room.
It’s nooner time.
ManchuCandidate: “Holy fuck. 18 minutes + on a 3 mile course? I’m starting to wonder if Bart Gordon is a Kenyan and not a US American.”
BRITH CERTIFACATES PLEAZE!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!
If he were black they would have arrested him because he must have been running “from” something
Min: i’m sure someone would talk to you, somewhere. maybe not here though. sorry.
Custerwolf: We are slug-free at my house. Got plenty of ants, though, who find their way into the house occasionally. Pyrethrin powder puts a stop to that.
As for turning slugs into surfactants, if it’s possible you’d get a lot of support from gardeners around the country. They do all sorts of crazy things to keep those guys away from their plants.
hobospacejunkie: I will need to begin gardening in the coming depression, but until now, I didn’t bother because the slugs ate all my strawberries, and the goats ate all my decorative plants. When I was in eastern WA last summer with my darling nephews we saw a lizard like that and we were mesermized for like 2 whole hours. You probably would not be equally impressed if you stumbled upon a slug.
Aaron Schock is a fake gym poser. I once ran three miles in under 20 minutes when I was his age, and I totally suck at running.
18 minutes is pretty dang speedy at 60, tho.
Snuggles McButterworth: Memphrica.
Min: He also needs to chart a route that avoids restaraunts, bars, parks, sports fields, and churches.