About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • sanantonerose

    Look’s like Yogi and Boo Boo stole their pic-i-nic basket.

  • Aurelio

    “Hillary, you’ve got to stop referring to me as “Sambo” at the State Department. I know it’s just a joke, but some people are taking it the wrong way.”

  • KristaJulieva

    “What, you think I can’t chop this board in half with my hand? I could. I totally could. I just don’t feel like it, though.”

  • Colander

    He’s explaining that a Manwich is not a sexual position, and so he doesn’t owe her an apology for his joke, and she’s not buying it.

  • hobospacejunkie

    Thought Bubbles

    Hillz: Is he masturbating with his right hand?

    Hopey: Can she tell I’m masturbating with my right hand?

    Hillz: Bill never masturbates in front of me.

    Hopey: Soon as the photog is gone, I’m gonna rock out with my cock out!

  • Man Without Qualities

    More like, “Don’t let the squirrel steal your ACORNs!”

  • grevillea

    “I already told you Hillary, Michelle’s too busy to cut up apples for our playdate. Fine, we’ll meet at your house next time.”

  • ServiceJervixJuice

    “Keep Bill the fuck away from my interns.”

  • Nerdalicious

    “I’ll be needing some of that kool-aide brain serum for Ahmadinejad & Kim Jong-il. Yeah, 100% Approval rating from the sheeples, during the annihilation of all monies. If they only knew about the water supply!…Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

  • NewSpence

    I wonder how long it will be before some genius at Free Republic photoshops fried chicken and watermelon into this picture…

  • junkscience

    Invisible Stratego

  • junkscience

    Too much ass for one bench.

  • MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend

    [re=302830]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I will have nightmares about this. Thanks.

  • hobospacejunkie

    No need to thank me! I consider my work a public service. But you’re welcome!

  • Jukesgrrl

    Are the Secret Service agents in the bushes dressed up like cartoon characters?

  • Numbat Dundee

    “Why did you let your husbnd near the food?”

  • Numbat Dundee


  • Johnny Zhivago

    we can see who wears the pantsuit in this relationship…


    Needs a “borrowed” caption from Indecisionforever.com:

    “Don’t look at his ears. Don’t look at his ears. Don’t look at his ears.”

  • The Neoskeptic

    Hillz: A-4

    Barry: You sunk my battleship!

  • archaeo-angel

    That is one sturdy looking picnic table… must have been built when Rove was still at the White House.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=302830]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Jesus, are you still drunk? Once again Wonkette has destroyed my libido….

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Every object touched by Obama’s ass now gets a placard.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Picnic table provided by the WPA.

  • karen

    Jesus jumpin’ Christ. That picnic table is obviously designed to withstand a NOOQUELAR holocaust. It must be from IKEA.

  • Cape Clod

    “So we wipe out the population of Texas with the flu bug I released while I was in Mexico, then we repopulate the state with evicted California Democrats. That’s the plan. Keep it under your hat.”

  • Min

    “I thought you were going to bring the sandwiches.”
    “No, I thought you were going to bring the sandwiches.”

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=302854]archaeo-angel[/re]: Military specs on the pic-a-nic table. But please tell me they’re not at a rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike.

  • gjdodger

    “Let’s pretend we’re having a conversation so Wonkette can have a new photo caption contest.”

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    “What’s this plaque say? ‘The Picnic Table of Rassilon’? What’s that mean?”

  • rocktonsammy

    “Thanks for telling my side of the picnic table just got painted,”


  • AxmxZ

    “Let’s see, we ‘christened’ the swings, the picnic table – next time, let’s meet on the see-saw!”

  • DangerousLiberal

    Do you see the platinum and silver carriage bolts holding this picnic table together! Christ, in my day we had to deal with shitty picnic tables with rusty iron bolts just like everyone else. Times are tight, you know. Why do BHO and FDR hate America? Wake up you morans!

  • dementor

    That’s not a table, that’s a Korean War-era tank convertible.

  • yersi

    “America must be destroyed, it’s our only hop.. hey David did the tellyprompter go down or something?” *drinks blood of white baby*

  • daisy chain

    “Damn I wish I was an intern.”

  • bunnyhead

    where’s the beef? no food on the table? or is this a ‘box lunch’?

  • Mexifinn

    “So I faked to the left, pivoted, cut straight through the middle and dunked that sucker. B’dunk a dunk!”

    “B’dunk a dunk?”

  • Red Zeppelin

    [re=302985]dementor[/re]: Yeah, I have never seen such a robust table! But then Hills has put on the pounds lately!

  • randomsausage

    “tell Jabba that even I get boarded sometimes…you think i had a choice?”

  • HipHopOpotamus

    Obama’s kinda a fatty now. Where’s that basketball court?

  • Sarah Palin (vp@whitehouse.gov)

    How come that idiot Stephen W. Bochron got a picnic table named after him and I haven’t yet? Also.


  • Go Figure

    Nice table– make sure you have 24/7 security watching it or some unemployed people with home foreclosures will steal the damned thing for a makeshift shelter or firewood!

  • HipHopOpotamus

    Arlen at the White HouseAbbey Road.

    Nobama’s out of sync with the other two – a clear sign he’s actually dead.

    …I have an exam in 30 minutes and clearly am studying.

  • qaf

    [re=302926]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: We’ll just have to see the Doctor about this!

    [re=302990]daisy chain[/re]: I wish I were a Presidential intern / That is what I’d truly like to beeeee…

  • naveed

    Team Rainbow would like to Recognize and say Thank You

  • naveed

    Team Rainbow would like to Recognize and say Thank You
    For allowing Rainbow Play Systems, IncĀ® the Privilege and Honor
    of building with Pride the First Family’s Playground.

  • naveed

    [re=303662]naveed[/re]: typus interruptus!