Wonkette
They let Bono in the New York Times and Bob Dylan in the Pope’s castle and Beyonce in the President’s castle and Elton John into what’s her name’s funeral, so why not let Australian gloom singer Nick Cave into Hillary Clinton’s secret State Department lair? Oh wait, it’s the Libyan national security adviser? Sure, fine. Oh hey and his last name is Qadhafi … what are the chances?! [US State Dept. via Jeffrey Goldberg]
Whoever he is he brought in a shitload of italics!
So shocking as to italicize the whole of Wonkette! And how dare the Secretary of State meet with a diplomat from Libya - they are bad nation America doesn’t like, and if the last eight years have taught me anything, it’s that the US should never talk to any nation we don’t like, for any reason.
Hey! Everything’s getting all tilty!!
3 words re the dude on the left:
fuck
a
bull.
When did Nick Cave turn into a Hershey bar?
“I don’t believe in an interventionist superpower…”
His title may be “Libyan national security adviser”, but that suit screams “metrosexual club boy”. So shiny! And brown! I bet Hilz is totally jealous.
Did he have a squad of sexy lady-assassins/bodyguards with him? I mean, besides Sec. Clinton herself?
His suit looks slicker than owl shit. Which is VERY slick indeed.
“I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.”
Custerwolf: I’d be relieved if he fucked a consenting woman (or man). Sons of Arab dictators don’t always have great track records in that area.
Brendan M.: Oh reeeaaallly??? But hotdamn ain’t he a smart dresser.
Hil always had teh cankles, but check out those exploding hips now! That’s a whole lotta woman.
Yeah, Nick Cave is a little more craggy than that. Speedballs don’t shoot themselves, you know.
davesnothere: Like to see what she could do for the Spiderpig suit - mmmm!
Oh - is this guy still here?
Custerwolf: I meant no offense to the dude on the right.
Custerwolf: In spite of himself, apparently.
Shiney-ish, and brown, and big wide tie. Damn. Fists much?
I’m pretty sure I’m not gay, but here’s my take: the suit really has potential, but I gotta tell you, Mr. Libyan Security Guy, the belt? It ain’t working for you. The hair we can work with, but hey, big job!
What’s really poignant about the brown suit is the shiny tone-on-tone edging (grosgrain? satin?) on the lapels. Plus the Wide-Track Pontiac four-in-hand. Dude likes like a failed impressario.
The belt.
Does the Riverpig from Conflatuence know about this?
Here , let me call her.
ZOMG ! HIL’S ASS IS GETTING HUGE!
The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’
That’s what I said
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read
…
DAMN THAT U.S. State Department. Never enough nudes of Hillary, or even Bachmann! The bastards. We’ll see.
Wow. Fabulous. But don’t these diplomats have to go to diplomatic charm school where they’re told what to wear, which tailors to frequent, get 3-ring binders showing haircuts and expressions to adopt? He’s got everything wrong for a meeting in with Hills, and everything right for a James Bond villain playing high stakes poker in Monte Carlo. Just needs a young Carla Bruni accessory.
From the neck down the dude is a Second Life avatar.
Judas Peckerwood: What has the Clintons’ 2012 run done for you? NEXT TIME: SEES? DIFFERENT and shit.
- Tim Geithner
Why is Hillary Clinton standing next to a giant bag of coke?
Hell, at least he’s wearing somewhat formal clothing, unlike the chief Qadhafi who picks up the blanket from whatever bed he’s slept in, wraps himself up in it & heads out for the day.
He is simultaneously wearing and smelling a giant greasy fart.
Oh, look who I ran into last night. Or tonight. However those time zone things work.
The suit’s english, silk, retro; almost Carnaby street. Okay, Italians do this too. But it’s nice, and money has been spent. With all that hair, shouldn’t he go for something less constructed, with more drape, and a softer image? He looks like a ponce. More, he looks like a schoolboy trying to look like a ponce. From there, it’s turtles all the way down.
Considering his father runs around dressed as Theda Bara, he’s very nearly normal. Now, stop drooling.
It’s not Nick Cave, it’s Steve Valentine, the actor who played Nigel in the teevee series Crossing Jordan!
Judas Peckerwood: Yeah.
Hey, isn’t that Bruno? Please tell me he’s about to prank Hillz into a makeover.
grevillea: Of course it is. Unlike, however, DOCTOR Ron Paul, she still didn’t notice something was amiss when he took his pants off. That’s how Qadafis say hello, after all.
Lower that chandelier just a tad and Hillz will have a chapeau that will put that shiny suit to shame.
davesnothere: & El Pinche: You don’t pay that woman enough for all the airplane rides she has to take and all the international banquets she has to eat on your behalf, so shut up.
NoWireHangers: “Hi, I’m chocolate bar. Unwrap me and enjoy me all day.”
aargh! my eyes… the glare from that shiny, poo-brown suit almost blinded me. YOu should put a warning label on that pic.
Hello! How you like to buy a suit? Come to Shukri’s, maker of finest suits in all of Libya! You want a suit? I make you suit! This suit no stain or wrinkle, and shinier than forehead of Algerian prostitute! The girls they love you, your wife she make a big stupid deal! Come to Shukri’s. All suits made of finest Italian plastic.
I would like to see the contents of his diplomatic pouch.
That suit needs a plastic slipcover.
If that suit were powder blue & his hair a tad longer (& less greasy), I’d ask how 18-year-old Norm Coleman found a future time machine.
Brendan M.: Of course he did. Unfortunately, this is the squad in question.
That suit makes him look like a third-place trophy.
A shadow is cast wherever he stands
Stacks of green paper in his Red Right Hand!
This is the ugliest suit I have ever seen. And he’s standing next to HRC, so that’s saying something.
Once he dons that suit, and spreads his jism in his hair like that, every goat in Libya starts practicing their “safe” bleat.
I’m also pretty sure that’s the suit Jonah Goldberg wore to pick up K-Lo at the airport.
Bruno: She has seen diplomatic pouch. Look at her hands! Look at her face!
Wow–they have Nick Cave dolls now? I want one.
That suit is the height of fashion circa 1965, Detroit, West Grand Boulevard, corner of 15th St. Yo, Slick!
I know everyone’s hating on it, but is it really so bad that I desperately want Nick Cave-Qadafi’s suit? You know what, I don’t care. I want that suit.
he looks like he’s about to pull out a tommygun and start firing any minute
assistant/atlas: It is not so bad. The suit is badass, just probably inappropriate for diplomatic situations. And short, fat men.
Next week Joe Biden will have a photo op with Gibby Haynes.
hobospacejunkie: Looking at that suit gets me thinking about rolling around on fantastically slippery bed sheets.
Looking at Hillz gets me thinking about having my mother walk in on me.
Um, is wonkette really a site where the commentors endlessly ridicule the physical appearance of the most successful female politician in American history? Disappointing.
King size Tootsie roll.
heroinmule: Disappointing, perhaps. Refreshingly free of sacred cows, for sure. Or maybe you missed all the references to lewd homosexual acts.
I didn’t know there was an arab Backstreet Boy.
heroinmule: is wonkette really a site where the commentors endlessly ridicule the physical appearance of the most successful female politician in American history?
Short answer followed by a short question followed by a suggestion.
Yes. You’re new around here, aren’t you?. If this disappoints you perhaps you will feel more at home at Confluence. It seems tailor-made for you.
AllHat: Yes, I caught that. There’s no way that man sleeps with ladies, I know. But in between the references to gay sex acts, I found some pretty insulting, woman-hating comments about cankles and wide hips. Is Rush Limbaugh now a commenter on this site? I’m no HRC fan. Her ambition is disturbing. But I manage to skewer her without resorting to ad hominem attacks like a 14-year-old boy.
“Henry Lee” alt-text? All of the win. I’d have been weak and used “Where the Wild Roses Grow” on the grounds that more people would get it. That is why I am not a fat cat professional blogger.
I know the 80s are back and all but did the dude have to wear Martin Fry’s suit from the Look of Love video?
heroinmule: My PUMA call worked!!1!!
Suuuuuuueeeeeeyy!!
You’re right. We’ve been focusing WAY too much on Mr. Q’s chocolate threads. Hilz outfit makes her look like a fat transvestite Beefeater. There–that should restore a little balance to the commentariat.
heroinmule: But I manage to skewer her without resorting to ad hominem attacks like a 14-year-old boy.
Well first, congratulations. Second, if this is true then you are unlike at least 90% of the commenters here. Third, you may wish to not visit this site much in the future. You are bound to be nothing but disappointed. If you want serious discussion of issues & respect for the looks of women, the sexual proclivities of men (especially gay men) and general high-mindedness you have definitely come to the wrong place.
Also. You are not being funny with your complaints. Not being funny is a serious crime around here. In fact I am breaking this very serious rule even responding to you. I may be banned. And for that I will blame you, Mr. Cankles.
Now excuse me for I have to masturbate. Being 14 and all, I have a perpetual raging hard-on that needs to be serviced.
heroinmule: Actually I think a 14 year-old boy would be more likely to use homonym attacks - like maybe “dyke,” or “phat.”
I’ve been reading this site every day for a year. I’m aware that I’m supposed to post funny things. And I’m NOT a puma. I’ve antagonized many Confluence commenters, written “TRUCK NUTZ” all over the internets, and in general, done the things a good Wonkette commenter does. Usually we make fun of people who deserve it. I guess I was just curious as to why HRC deserves to be called out for cankles? It’s not a big deal to me either way. My after-work bowl will get me high regardless of whether or not the other wonkette commentors like me.
heroinmule: Don’t let them see you cry. They’re all very cruel, monstrous people here, and our high-minded, feminist sense of humor will not be given the respect it deserves. Just ignore their comments or you’ll be labeled a PUMA, and neither I nor god himself (Obama) will be able to protect you, because fuck those PUMAs, seriously.
Libya’s flag is such a cop-out. When I was in fourth grade, we had to choose the flag of another nation and make it using construction paper.
I picked up a blank, green sheet, put my name on it and handed it in.
“Libya!”
heroinmule: This is an Obamaton site, and all who offend Him are beyond redemption. Also, misogyny, and some people don’t realize the primaries are fucking over, and we won.
A PUMA?
WTF is a PUMA?
I still don’t know what a PUMA is aside from a fictitious, magical, talking big-cat.
Is a “PUMA” supposed to be a ridiculous person such as one who believes in mythological creatures like unicorns, dragons, faeries and Jesus?
Mahousu: First of all, why would that be unfortunate? Secondly, at least there wasn’t any tentacle rape in that clip, thankfully.
Custerwolf: Most definitely.
heroinmule: I apologize. You obviously know what’s going on here. You just might wanna be a little less sensitive regarding HRC, that’s all. It’s nothing personal toward her. Every man or woman with the slightest idiosyncrasy gets it with both barrels here. She’s no different, except some folks do have a few hard feelings left over from the primaries. I don’t. I just enjoy the mean spirit of Wonkette.
Dang…before I read the post I totally thought she was in a wax museum. Dude is cold living in the uncanny valley.
heroinmule: Why yes it is that place.
FWIW, I was a Clinton delegate to the Nevada Democratic State Convention so I’m not a hatin’ on her.
But this here is that hatin’ place.
My disappointment is not in that Hilz gets picked on. Its that too many of the Hilz pickers aren’t funny in their picking.
The real question is how much more brown could that suit be? And the answer is…
Czn939: Something like that. It is also a kind of shoe. We mostly refer to a certain kind of PUMA, usually an obese, middle-aged, racist, and extremely bitter white woman.
http://snarkopolitan.blogspot.com/2009/01/field-guide-to-fraidy-cats-we-can.html
aw c’mon, i bet he’s a real nice guy. murdering babies is just something he does to stay fit, it’s not like he enjoys the way they “pop” when you crush them underfoot.
Your funeral, my trial.
I have seen Nick Cave a few times and he has never worn a suit as fugly as that one.
heroinmule: We forget to say how cool it is for HRC and Nick Cave to be in the same pic and room together (couldn’t imagine Laura Bush with Cave…maybe Paul Sr. from American chopper) .
I’m proud of Hilz and Sibelius and the Obama cabinet. but still, HRC has some junk in the trunk!
heroinmule: sheesh, grrl, don’t you understand that it is Hill’s duty as a vagina-American to be totally hot & smokin’ in public all the time? Even if she is over 60 and Secretary of State. It’s the rule. That’s why Condi used to wear those fuck-me boots.
Frumious Canbrasnatch: The trick is to be as sucessful as Hillz, and not give a shit what a man thinks about her, intellectually or appearance-wise. If she’s only being something for a man, then what is she - and who’s fault is that?
Like my dear mammy used to say, “It takes one hell of a man to beat no man at all.”
El Pinche: In summary some of us like a girl with a little junk in the trunk. The end.