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Another Post About ‘Arlen Specter’s State,’ Virginia

Congratulations to Arlen Specter for joining the Dixiecrat Party of America’s “Mid-Atlantic!” Here in America’s slave city, Richmond — a “blue city” now — we located the “X” marking on the ground where the Enola Gay will finally destroy the South with her payload of Pig Nukes from space — as soon as Arlen Specter gives the word! See? He doesn’t even have to “primary” here.

It’s Tim Kaine’s executive palace, right by the Thomas Jefferson-designed State House Dungeon! Did you know that Tim Kaine was the President of Democrats until today, when Arlen Specter did whatever?

“You want me to do what, President Lincoln, to get back into the United States?? But I’m Arlen Specter’s boy!”

Jim Webb was confused about today’s news and sat in his Richmond office with a shotgun all day long, because he thought Arlen Specter was about to come and take his seat. It’s doesn’t work that way Jim! He has his own seat, already.


About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  1. qwerty42

    cannons? aren’t there a lot of cannons in Virginia? something about a “war” or whatnot.

  2. schvitzatura

    Chicom Red Keystone on Webb’s Richmond, VeeAay office?

    Nice architectural detail…are we sure that SMERSH has not invaded the Commonwealth?

  3. Bruno

    If I were Jim Webb, I’d go for some swingin’ batchelor pad Austin Powers kind of office. However the peeling paint indicate its the ‘old money’ part of town, and therefore classy.

  4. Bruno

    But I don’t think Spector is black enough. Or is he too black? I forget which I’m supposed to be worried about.

  5. imissopus

    Did they take you to Monument Avenue with its statues of dead Confederate war heroes (as opposed to the still-living Confederate war heroes?) Or are they downplaying that whole let’s-rub-the-darkies-noses in it part of the city?

    Being a Virginia native, I’m always amused when political and history-minded friends refer to the great Commonwealth as being more of a border state than a truly Southern one. Hell no! Capital of the racist Confederacy and proud of it!

  6. boatapple

    Have you figured out what the hell the “Fan District” is? Also, what did they do with the toll booths that used to be on 95?

    I can’t think of anything else I want to know about Richmond.

  7. Min

    That first pic puzzles me greatly.

    BTW, if you want to destroy the South, bombing Virginia simply won’t get it done. It’s too far north.

  8. ifthethunderdontgetya"

    [re=302523]Bruno[/re]: I think Jim Webb oughta take his shotgun and smack John Cornhole (R-Tex) in the head with it.

    But then, I’m no fan of this comedy in the Senate everyone’s always talking about.

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    [re=302497]you cannot be serious[/re]: I’m thinking budget cuts killed that requisition.

    So who the hell put a park bench on Gov. Kaine’s helipad? Is that where you’re supposed to wait for The Rapture or something?

  10. Jukesgrrl

    [re=302497]you cannot be serious[/re]: We cannot afford an exfoliation! We’re in a recession and we cannot be wasting money on beauty products!1! Next thing you know, you’ll want Webb to get a fighter jet to buzz Monticello and break all the wavy-glass windows. He can still wave a gun around, though. We can’t afford spa services, but we can afford bullets and such. This is still America.

    BTW, where you been BlakGuy? We haven’t had enough Angry people around here lately.

  11. Scandalabra

    When I saw the first pic, I thought it was one of the lovely vistas at Guantanamo Bay. Oh. Richmond. OK.

  12. SayItWithWookies

    So you’ve been to the Canal — isn’t it great that someone thought a huge amount of smelly, stagnant water would make a good focus for shopping, restaurants and tourism?

  13. Terry

    Ok, so the ads on the page are for John McCain’s reelection and for STD screening. Honestly, I’m not the target demographic for these ads.

  14. dougbob

    hope you at least hung around richmond long enough to smoke a couple of delicious and refreshing cigarettes…just to show your support, y’know.

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