WONKETTE JUNKETTE  6:13 pm April 28, 2009

Another Post About ‘Arlen Specter’s State,’ Virginia

by Jim Newell

Congratulations to Arlen Specter for joining the Dixiecrat Party of America’s “Mid-Atlantic!” Here in America’s slave city, Richmond — a “blue city” now — we located the “X” marking on the ground where the Enola Gay will finally destroy the South with her payload of Pig Nukes from space — as soon as Arlen Specter gives the word! See? He doesn’t even have to “primary” here.

It’s Tim Kaine’s executive palace, right by the Thomas Jefferson-designed State House Dungeon! Did you know that Tim Kaine was the President of Democrats until today, when Arlen Specter did whatever?

“You want me to do what, President Lincoln, to get back into the United States?? But I’m Arlen Specter’s boy!”

Jim Webb was confused about today’s news and sat in his Richmond office with a shotgun all day long, because he thought Arlen Specter was about to come and take his seat. It’s doesn’t work that way Jim! He has his own seat, already.



Hola wonkerados.

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whiskey tango foxtrot April 28, 2009 at 6:15 pm

Nice tall sprawling story. Maybe add a jump?

whiskey tango foxtrot April 28, 2009 at 6:17 pm

*sigh* never you mind me.

you cannot be serious April 28, 2009 at 6:17 pm

Jim Webb’s office building needs an exfoliation. Stat.

qwerty42 April 28, 2009 at 6:23 pm

cannons? aren’t there a lot of cannons in Virginia? something about a “war” or whatnot.

schvitzatura April 28, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Chicom Red Keystone on Webb’s Richmond, VeeAay office?

Nice architectural detail…are we sure that SMERSH has not invaded the Commonwealth?

R-dawg April 28, 2009 at 6:32 pm

What the point of this post?

Spector defected: this is good news.

Bruno April 28, 2009 at 6:34 pm

If I were Jim Webb, I’d go for some swingin’ batchelor pad Austin Powers kind of office. However the peeling paint indicate its the ‘old money’ part of town, and therefore classy.

Bruno April 28, 2009 at 6:36 pm

But I don’t think Spector is black enough. Or is he too black? I forget which I’m supposed to be worried about.

imissopus April 28, 2009 at 6:37 pm

Did they take you to Monument Avenue with its statues of dead Confederate war heroes (as opposed to the still-living Confederate war heroes?) Or are they downplaying that whole let’s-rub-the-darkies-noses in it part of the city?

Being a Virginia native, I’m always amused when political and history-minded friends refer to the great Commonwealth as being more of a border state than a truly Southern one. Hell no! Capital of the racist Confederacy and proud of it!

boatapple April 28, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Have you figured out what the hell the “Fan District” is? Also, what did they do with the toll booths that used to be on 95?

I can’t think of anything else I want to know about Richmond.

Min April 28, 2009 at 6:56 pm

That first pic puzzles me greatly.

BTW, if you want to destroy the South, bombing Virginia simply won’t get it done. It’s too far north.

ifthethunderdontgetya" April 28, 2009 at 6:58 pm

[re=302523]Bruno[/re]: I think Jim Webb oughta take his shotgun and smack John Cornhole (R-Tex) in the head with it.

But then, I’m no fan of this comedy in the Senate everyone’s always talking about.

AngryBlakGuy April 28, 2009 at 7:16 pm

…geez, I leave you guys alone for a couple days and look what you do?!

Judas Peckerwood April 28, 2009 at 7:33 pm

The GOP is now referring to him as Arlen SPECTRE.

Rusty Shackleford April 28, 2009 at 7:36 pm

[re=302497]you cannot be serious[/re]: I’m thinking budget cuts killed that requisition.

So who the hell put a park bench on Gov. Kaine’s helipad? Is that where you’re supposed to wait for The Rapture or something?

Jukesgrrl April 28, 2009 at 7:37 pm

[re=302497]you cannot be serious[/re]: We cannot afford an exfoliation! We’re in a recession and we cannot be wasting money on beauty products!1! Next thing you know, you’ll want Webb to get a fighter jet to buzz Monticello and break all the wavy-glass windows. He can still wave a gun around, though. We can’t afford spa services, but we can afford bullets and such. This is still America.

BTW, where you been BlakGuy? We haven’t had enough Angry people around here lately.

Scandalabra April 28, 2009 at 7:49 pm

When I saw the first pic, I thought it was one of the lovely vistas at Guantanamo Bay. Oh. Richmond. OK.

Mr Blifil April 28, 2009 at 8:09 pm

I was expecting more beach photos. I thought Virginia Is For Plovers.

SayItWithWookies April 28, 2009 at 8:24 pm

So you’ve been to the Canal — isn’t it great that someone thought a huge amount of smelly, stagnant water would make a good focus for shopping, restaurants and tourism?

Terry April 28, 2009 at 9:10 pm

Ok, so the ads on the page are for John McCain’s reelection and for STD screening. Honestly, I’m not the target demographic for these ads.

El Pinche April 28, 2009 at 9:38 pm

damn, jim. does spackle and paint mean anything to you, bra?

titsmcgee April 28, 2009 at 11:02 pm

Nothing good ever happens in Richmond.

qaf April 28, 2009 at 11:28 pm

Jim Webb’s sign looks like it came out of The Prisoner.

dougbob April 29, 2009 at 1:27 am

hope you at least hung around richmond long enough to smoke a couple of delicious and refreshing cigarettes…just to show your support, y’know.

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