Who’s classy now? Florida, again, as always! Here’s the new “vanity plate,” featuring America’s favorite (?) Christian star, Dead Jesus Hanging Off a License Plate With an Orange Behind His Head. This is gonna look sweet with a brass pair of Truck Nutz swingin’ down below. [The Awl]
Political Wire
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Authors
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Kirsten Boyd Johnson (927)
Sulagna Misra (4)
Kris E. Benson (11)
Liz Colville (170)
John Schoenkopf (7)
Jim Newell (5640)
Josh Fruhlinger (646)
Erik Jay (27)
Blair Burke (181)
{ 339 comments }
“Choose Martyrdom”?
More evidence that Florida exists solely to vex and confuse me.
Jeebus, oranges, and trucknutz.
All you need to complete the picture of Florida is a sweating fatass riding a Rascal Scooter and olds in pants hiked up to their nipples.
SOMEBODY DONE AMPUTATED JEBUS
A day without Orange Juice Jesus is like a day without the Sunshine State.
Where’s AngryBlakGuy when he’s needed?
That guy Sam Ple sure has bad taste.
Jeebusnutz?
[re=302053]norbizness[/re]: You didn’t read that part of the Bible???
“And lo, they lopped off his limbs, and he fell asleep before the setting sun. And it was good.”
The Awl article does have Wonkette-worthy comments as well.
Hmmm isn’t “vanity” one of those things that Jeebus said was what are they called? oh yeah, SINS!!!
it’s OK, he’s just sleeping
Bonus points for making Jeebus a blue, bloated corpse. Zombie Jeebus FTW.
SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! In the ARENA! Monster MONSTER Jesus!
The Body of Christ! The Body of Christ! The Body of Christ!
Lord Almighty oooooooooo, I’ve never been so enticed!
Oh I wish I could have the body of Christ!
-Eric Cartman
You’re fucking kidding me.
Now if they’d only offer one with a crucified Mickey Mouse, we’d have something….
YMCA!
Jesus died for your tasty breakfast beverage.
Sample what?
He is kind of looking down at his naughty bits.
Where’s your God now?
You think that’s Jesus? Doesn’t say it’s Jesus. Bet some of you Gays got the shirtless, blissed out guys with good pecs pictures in your squalid little work cubicles. Could be a crown a’thorns, but could be a scrunchie. No First Amendment problem here. Move along.
You quoted Leonard Cohen, you fucking bastard.
Can I sue for stealing my avatar?
Silly Wonkettes. Obviously, it’s a tribute to the famous statue, Jesus de Milo!
This is going to make floridian-fender-benders a bit more problematic.
also
When asked about the apparent lack of separation of church and state, Gov. Charlie Crist said, ‘If they don’t want one they don’t have to buy one.’
The great thing about this plate is, it can be cleaned up with just a sponge soaked in vinegar.
Jesus is License Plate.
License plate Jeebus haz a sad.
I could dig on depictions of this Christ dude’s execution if they would just update it, translate the message for our time, show him strapped to an electric chair, or on a gurney, getting the lethal injection, so it would still have the same impact.
I can’t tell you just how happy today is making me.
[re=302076]2goats[/re]: In fact, it is a celebration of gay amputee snuff porn. Florida is trying to develop new businesses since its entire economy was based on building more and more houses and selling them for inflated prices to people who could not afford them. This new inductry seems a more stable venture.
Wake up Jeebus!! No time 4 napz!?!
[re=302077]Prommie[/re]: Leonard Cohen’s always appropriate, for Ken. Didja know that when Cohen was in a monastery for six years, his business manager stole all his money, and that’s why he’s touring now?
Everybody knows you love me baby,
Everybody knows you really do!
Everybody knows that you’ve been faithful,
Give or take a time or two.
Everybody knows you’ve been discreet;
There were just so many people that you had to meet –
Without your clothes….
Everybody knows.
[re=302062]chascates[/re]: No kidding. They should be invited over here for a play date.
I knew Jesus was popular with the ladies, but I didn’t know he was hung like that.
Alternatives:
A. Blingee Truck-you-know-whatz
B. A canker worm boring into a fat, rotting orange.
C. Under the motto, “No Mas”, a weapy Cuban-Americano surrendering at the Bay of Pigs
D. A Haitian refugee boat drifting empty off of the coast of Miami.
E. Noelle Bush’s booking photo.
F. Charlie Christ ______ (verb) a _____ (object).
It is GoatOP Jesus, he is weeping for Bible spice and Rino McTraitor both doing dirty to the party
Leonard Cohen is God, so its appropriate.
Lost his arms, but grew a huge metal pair of Trucknutz – stay classy, FL!
I wished I lived in Florida so I could get “Suffocation Jesus”
[re=302094]Gopherit[/re]: LOL!
[re=302089]Doglessliberal[/re]: induStry. sigh.
Florida desperately needs Raptor Jesus license plates and Wonkette needs a picture of above plate with trucknutz. Please please please!
I might have just touched his perfect body, with my mind…
Has anyone ever noticed before that Jesus appears to have no armpit hair? Technically, this one doesn’t appear to have armpits, either. I like the hint of nipple, though.
I DON”T THINK WE SHOULD HAVE PCITURES OF FORIEGN LEADERS ON OUR LICENSE PLATES!!! WHO’S NEXT? STALIN?> MAO? OR SOME OTHER COMMIE BASTARDS?!?!!?!111!!!!
Fine, now where’s my Flying Spaghetti Monster license plate?
Not enough blood. And the sky was pretty damn dark that day, according to admittedly biased media reports, so what’s up with the “Sunshine” stuff? And who the hell is Sam Ple? He some immigrant or something?
In Catholic school, we learned the license plate on top of the crucifix, you know the one– I. N. R. I. , is code for I’m Nailed Right In.
That’s my next plate.
Where’s the vanity plate of aborted fetuses?
[re=302096]S.Luggo[/re]:
G. That picture Rush smoking a dick.
G. That picture OF Rush smoking a dick.
Here’s a question that never occurred to me until this moment: who’s the poor Roman soldier who got stuck with the job of making the crown of thorns? I’m assuming this wasn’t some standard-issue bit of pre-execution humiliation, so someone would have had to go out, find thorny branches, cut them down, fashion them into something you could put on a dude’s head, etc. I hope they gave him gloves, at least.
Maybe he was an army slave or a camp follower or something. I imagine it didn’t really endear him to his bosses.
Jeeze! You Christians with your torture-death fantasies. Now you gotta go and cut the poor guy’s arms off? Chainsaw the torso at the navel? As if The Passion of Mel Gibson’s Non-Vatican II Non-Liberal Christ wasn’t bad enough.
Again, I say, Jeeze!
There’s no Constitutional problem with this plate, now – as long as Florida is also willing to offer custom plates for every religion, or lack thereof. It would be fun to see the wignuts’ heads explode if the state has to release Muslim, Wiccan or atheist plates.
Still, if I were a Florida resident, I’d be tempted to order this plate with highly appropriate letters – something like “DED 4GUD”,”NVR RTRN” or simply “NOT REAL”.
This will look mighty nice next to the WWJD bumper stickers, because I’m sure that he would choose to be commercialized in this classy way.
[re=302108]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Hmm, in fact he has no body hair of any kind, and yet he’s totally ripped. CONCLUSION: Jesus was a gym queen?
“What a day — first Bob Allen offers me twenty bucks if he can suck my dick, and now this.”
Some douche will have DIED 4 U on the plate. Or BRN AGN. Or LVS U. But you can’t love tofu. ILVTOFU is banned in Colorado.
Are they going to have different versions of these plates for people who aren’t Jesus Lovers? Because my Bubbe in Boca would probably prefer other options.
But, but Florida is resplendent with the Joos. If there is anything Sarah Silverman taught us… this will not fly.
I want that plate with the following plate number:
IM SAD
He died for Arlen Spector’s sins, and your poor driving habits.
Oh, to have been a fly on the wall at the design approval meeting for this thing.
-”Well the initial drawings were nice but He looked a bit too…um…Semitic…if you know what I mean. So we asked for something a bit more familiar.”
-”Yes. More American in a Bjorn Borg kind of way. But not happy. He should look sad, like he’s thinking ‘oh, all the babies’. You know?”
-”Right, with pretty hair and big pecs but sad about the aborted liberal babies. Now that’s Jesus!”
DIED 4 U?
[re=302121]JMP[/re]: Dude there is totally a Constitutional problem with that plate!
Its the opposite. Government can’t endorse any religion, not “government can enforce every religion.” And thank for that, as we would all be muslim now if that were true.
STILL HAVEN’T SEEN THOSE BIRTH RECORDS THOUGH.
Florida finally found a way to collect a Jeebus tax.
I wish I had shredded abs like Jeebus. But I can do without the bluish tint. Kinda unhealthy looking, no?
[re=302096]S.Luggo[/re]: “Acquires” a “Beard”
Thank the Lord it’s Malibu Jebus and not some boring historically accurate representation.
Also why is Jeebus bald???? He has no hair above the crown of thorns. Hadn’t he heard of Rogaine? Or a comb over?
Oh. My. God.
See how much I love Jeebus, I have his pitcher on my license tag. That proves how much I love Jeebus my lord and savior. Tomorrow I might have to go down to the Messican border and shoot some a dem illegal aliens for tryin to get into the country without learning to speak English first, but today let’s just focus on how much I love Jeebus.
[re=302093]dementor[/re]: Oh, wait until 4:30 p.m. …. JUST YOU WAIT.
Just what everyone needs – a snuff license plate. The only thing it’s missing is the blood dripping for the thorns stuck in his sweaty forehead. Who dropped the ball on that one?
[re=302126]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: TETANUS
God, I’d love to have one of those with QUINTANA on it
Hey, I am looking forward to the Mel Gibson version of above, with rivers of blood. Is it possible to get license plate blingees?
Anita Bryant would be so proud.
[re=302114]bitchincamaro[/re]: I almost choked in my cubicle, covering my mouth with my hand and striving mightily not to laugh aloud, tears rolling down my age-scarred cheeks into my graying beard. I’m not Catholic, so that one was new to me. Too bad the plates screw on instead of nail.
[re=302073]Scandinavian Fetus[/re]: It’s what comes of being well-hung (*wretches*).
This is just one more reason to avoid that state as far as I am concerned.
Every day I am more and more ashamed to be from Florida.
I’m surprised it’s Florida. Wait a minute, did you say Florida? Alabama I could totally see, but c’mon Florida? Okay, panhandle Florida….now I understand.
[re=302127]Hooray For Anything[/re]: CHZN 1
[re=302119]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: Maybe they had a florist do it? If you include thistles, it could be quite the artistic… uh, undertaking?
As a graphic designer, I appreciate the way the letters have been rendered so as to have not just nailed thru, but in fact completely cut off his arms.
I’m getting that plate (even if it means moving to Florida) and I’m gonna have the letters ZZZZZZ printed on it.
Dead armless Jesus is hawt! Nice pecs. I ask you, though, when I am gettin my Mohammed license plate? Oh, that’s right, we’re not allowed to depict him. Just a crescent and star will do, then. When did you say that one was coming out? Oh, never? Gee whiz, how come?
Everybody knows that it’s now or never
Everybody knows that it’s me or you.
Everybody knows you live forever
When you’ve done a line or two.
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old black joe still pickn’ cotton
for your ribbons and bows…..everybody know.
Everybody knows the plague is coming,
Everybody know that it’s moving fast
…….
OMG Loquaciousmusic is going to jizz all over himself!!!
Can I get a car tag with a picture of Captain Kirk on it? No? Well then Florida is cold violatin’ my rights to religious freedom. Class Action!
My Buddhist plates will have nothing written on them.
And Texas gets all the shit?
I almost forgot how much of a furry Jesus was.
Shouldn’t Jesus be wearing a medical mask? Oops, too late Jesus, all sold out!
Getting this license plate and putting it on your car automatically guarantees your ticket to paradise where 69 virgins await you.
“BIGBUTR”
There’s something disarming about this Jesus.
Can I get a plate with this on it? http://www.witcheshaven.com/images/pentagram_satan.gif
Jesus died so you can drive 10 miles under the speed limit to the 4:00 Early Bird Special at the Country Kitchen Buffet. READ THE BIBLE!
RLY HERTZ
BARRY O
Dead Jebus on a license plate, I haz a sad that I live in this fucked up state, and can’t get out, cuz I can’t get rid of my dumb house, (antfarm)…
And Jesus looked unto Himself, and said “Well, it’s been over four hours – I guess I need to call the doctor”
[re=302149]slappypaddy[/re]: Yeah, I have one of those beards, too. But it hides my tears of rage, instead.
Would putting that plate on one’s CHRISTLER next to the Jeebus Fish be overkill?
Cited for “following too closely.”
[re=302170]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: 69 Virgins? Who wants that? I want 8 pros!
-Jesus
Nothing says “Sunshine State” like a dead guy hanging on a cross. I’m sure that’s what the Romans were thinking when they crucified him and hung him outside the city wall to welcome visitors to the city.
[re=302156]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: What about “WE KILD HM”
ONA CRKR
He’s blue because he was in the original cast of the Watchmen.
Jesus de Milo
REC OUNT
[re=302177]mookworthjwilson[/re]: That is positively Cheney-esque.
[re=302061]Doglessliberal[/re]: I’m guessing you haven’t read ‘the way of cross and dragon’? fantastic george r.r. martin meta story about myth making–but it has judas as king of the dragons, and after his repentance he carries a legless jesus from town to town so he can proselytize. once jebus goes back to heaven, judas becomes ‘wandering ju’–it’s pretty cool.
I used to have a similar set, with a picture of Joseph Smith on them, but I was arrested for displaying false prophet plates.
[re=302080]Min[/re]: Damn! I am only here to give your comment validation.
Look on the bright side of life, at least it’s not the other anointed one, Reagan. He wouldn’t have those glorious pecks or those nicely cut arms. He’d be all droopy face and have armpit hair and man boobs.
Some see the Virgin Mary in an oil stain on the sidewalk, others see Cheesus on their license plate.
[re=302181]Wet Work[/re]: THIS SUX
HANG TEN
NAILD IT
Who the hell designed this abomination??? An image of the crucified Jesus set against the glorious Florida sun, with the words “Sunshine State” displayed underneath Jesus?!? That is just insane.
Jesus, I want to pierce those nipples!
[re=302191]Hooray For Anything[/re]: BRB SRSLY
[re=302161]dijetlo[/re]:
Everybody knows the naked man and woman
Are just a shining artifact of the past
Everybody knows the scene is dead
But there’s gonna be a meter on your bed
That will disclose
What everybody knows
[re=302146]Munson Thurd[/re]: Only if it’s a silhouette of Jesus Q. licking a bowling bowl.
[re=302129]choinski[/re]: HAH!
I wonder why they wouldn’t let me get one that said “incest” on it ?
[re=302195]sanantonerose[/re]: WIN.
Jesus juices….
This is how I’ll be able to identify married dudes who are DTF, when I’m in Florida.
They want to show their love for Jesus? Well, why don’t they try actually listening to what he has to say about showing off their “love” for God:
“When you pray, do not be the hypocrites! They love to stand up and pray in the houses of worship and on the street corners, so that everyone will see them…. But when you pray, go to your room, close the door, and pray to your Father, woh is unseen. And your Father, who sees what you do in private, will reward you.” (Matthew 6:5-6.)
Damn, Jesus is looking buff these days. Might be time to switch religions…
NO CNDMS
NO JEWS
Why didn’t they just spell their state backwards?
A Dead Icon ROLF
Shouldn’t that read “SONshine State”?
[re=302205]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Ohhhhh my aching sides…..that’s what HE said!
Florida has been creating dubious license plates for years. There are literally dozens of these ridiculous plates, and they generate $33 million a year for the state.
Here’s some gems:
http://www.flhsmv.gov/dmv/specialtytags/miscellaneous/choose_life.html
http://www.flhsmv.gov/dmv/specialtytags/miscellaneous/family_values.html
http://www.flhsmv.gov/dmv/specialtytags/environmental/trees_are_cool.html
Thank you, Florida, for once again diverting attention away from Texas.
FAG HAG
JUDAS SUKS
NO HOMO
Ashamed for using the pink f-bomb. More accurate, anyway.
[re=302218]McDuff[/re]: Wow, I had no idea Dave Matthews was that into Jeebus. I’d like to hear his cover of “My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don’t Love Jesus.”
Isn’t there a commandment against taking the Lord’s name in vanity plate?
If I was in the FL legislature, I would immediately file about nine hundred bills creating a separate license plate for every dadgum religious figure I could possibly think of and make the legislature reject them one by one. Zeus, Buddha, Allah, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, L. Ron Hubbard, Jim Jones, Anton LaVey, David Koresh….I’d be unstoppable.
While I’m at it…
Instead of “SAM PLE,” shouldn’t it read “SIM PLE”?
YO ROCKY
[re=302128]Carrie_Okie[/re]: But this IS the Jewish plate.
I’m serious tho, totally serious – who is going to be the judge as to whether a vanity plate text is offensive on this plate? If it were me, I would emphatically say that ALL vanity plates with this picture were sacriligious (oh, whatever) and therefore offensive. Is there no one left at all in that state with the brains of a ham sandwich?
Obviously this was designed by a Catholic. Evangelicals never have dying exhausted Jesus on their crosses, you know, cuz he AROSE.
[re=302205]SayItWithWookies[/re]: ALMST HVN
Nice graven image they’ve got there.
[re=302201]sanantonerose[/re]: A most honorable endeavor.
There are so many things about this image that don’t make sense…the lack of arms, the blue skin, the blonde hair, the Big Orange Ball of Crucifixion. Which BTW I do not remember from either Methodist or Baptist Sunday School.
[re=302238]snideinplainsight[/re]: When you get dragged from your car and beat up, you’ll know your plate is offensive.
[re=302208]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: I DIED 4U
[re=302205]SayItWithWookies[/re]: IM THORNY
IKLDURGD
WEL HUNG
I’m too lazy to log onto the Awl, but I wanted to reply to the woman who credited Jesus’s fine physique to pilates. For her information it was actually Pontius Pilates.
LV PEX
BORN1X
GOT BRIS
Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side…
ZOM BIE
LVNG DED
OH NOZ
Dammit, where are the Haruhi Suzumiya and Cthulhu vanity plates!?
I H8 R GUV
GOV GAY
END TIMZ
LOL NOT
FLA SUX
FOLLOW ME
FAT AZZ
HLY CHZS
That’s almost as awesome as Illinois’ “BABY KILLER ABORTIONISTZ!!!!11!!1!” plate:
http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/?p=2460
[re=302190]PrairiePossum[/re]: Jeebus doesn’t look very sunshiney in that picture. I think he haz a sad. Maybe the Florida people could get together with the Blingee people and they could put some Disney characters to make it happier.
WTF? Please, PLEASE tell me this is a joke. Please? Like a Photoshop thing??
GOT TETNUZ
Ken, do we get the Choire video, or just the Awls?
PLZ HLP
JZZ PNTS
As a proud Floridian, I’ve already sent in my application for the vanity Jesus plate, and it will say “ZOM BIE”. That fucking rules!!! Better stop carrying nitrous in my trunk, tho…
This actually doesn’t make sense. Sarah Silverman says that Florida is FULL of Jews.
I8U SNDY
NO WINGNUTZ
NRA SUX
Lego Jesus haz a sad. Didn’t get the call back for the modeling job, God DAMN it.
License plate for Lego Jesus: NOT ME
I thought Jim Morrison died in Paris…?
SADLBAK
NE1469
4T CHKS
IM CUMIN
KISS MY BRIS
SUX2BME
GOT SIN
[re=302234]Lorax[/re]: Yeah, they already do that in Florida.
The sample plate above is not the one that’s on the table now–that one is a slightly less horrible “I Believe” with a stained-glass and crucifix motif. The “Jesus died for your oranges” one was actually proposed in 2004. The legislature killed it. Even Florida wouldn’t sink this low…
Crucifixion…it’s not just for breakfast anymore.
NEDA HRCT
IMSO BLU
GO FINS
ORNG HALO
SHAVED4U
REPO MAN
ZY GOATZ
DRVG2SLO
U CAR IST – HA!
Pretty much everything you put on this license plate is going to get you several eons in purgatory, if not eternal damnation. Hope you brought some sunscreen -
IT HRTZ
WRS MYDAD
AMI BLU
BE JEEBUS
[re=302223]magic titty[/re]: NOT GOD
Y ME
I finally figured out what truck nutz are!
FU FLA
DOG IS MY PILOT
ND TETNUS
GOT BNDAD
FAIL SRSLY
CRUCI FIXT
SVYER SLF
GTME DWN
TOUCHDOWN
Jeezus, why is it that every time a vaguely humanoid image appears on a license plate, the religious fanatics always assume it’s Jesus. That could very well be Charles Manson.
“I don’t care if it rains or freezes, as long as I got my plastic Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car. I can go 100 miles an hour, as long as I got the almighty power, riding on the dashboard of my car.”
I’m trying to abbreviate MarieDevine. Need help.
SO LONG
[re=302164]Custerwolf[/re]: “My Buddhist plates will have nothing written on them.” WIN.
DYED 4U
[re=302303]Custerwolf[/re]: win.
SLV4U
MRB8R
ROTN HELL
Vanity Plate: IDOLTR
Jesus has a “Manny” wig?
[re=302265]Mustang[/re]:
Come along and sing our song and join the jamboree!
Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me?
J -E – S U- S- C H – R -I- S -T!
Forever let us hold our banner
HIGH! HIGH! HIGH! HIGH!
2NDCUMIN
OWMYBLS
ROMESUX
HUNGWEL
DRTYHPY
O HAI
SRSLY?
Jesus wore a “Manny” wig?
TED HGRD
HANGNCHAD
SARAH PAC
I demand a similar license plate with the likeness of the prophet Mohammed. I think we need some more Danish Cartoon Violence.
4NY K8TR
[re=302073]Scandinavian Fetus[/re]:
Then peering down straight between his legs
Harry thought of the range of possibilities
A new face a new life no memories of the past
and slit his throat from ear to ear
HLY SHT
GETR DUN
Sorry for the double post. I am truly and idiot.
[re=302349]nowayinhell[/re]: HANG TENR20
WFVU 1
Can’t proofread, either.
YBSERIOUS
WITES 0NLY
The new Florida “Skeptics” license plate features Charles Darwin giving Jesus a Cleveland Steamer while Christopher Hitchens sits on his face.
SWN FLU
WAKUP SHPL
It’d be great if they just sold this plate with a Catholic indulgence, kind of a package dealio.
IMAJU
MORSPEED
HOO DRVN
BRNBABYS
4NIK8
[re=302407]snideinplainsight[/re]: 4NIK8 – WIN!
Today, we’re all license plates.
KRYST KRIST
SMILE
OMG WTF
BRB
Jeebus is built like a mother fucker on that plate. No skinny vegan Jeebus for Flurida. No sir. Did he belong to Bally’s?
DZNY R BUST
NAIL DIT
GOT HURICNZ
Sorry…we don’t allow people to have truck nuts in Florida. We only allow pictures of torture on our license plates. Oh? Crucifixion isn’t torture? Let me get back with you on that. I’ll have to run that one past Bybee.
IM THRNY
DNT CROS ME
HNG LOOS
BRD STIF
SUPA STR
STG MTA
TOL CHOK
DRVN W/TEH DVL
I’ll have a blue Christ bust without you…
ZOMG ZOMG
SAN HDRN
CAI APHS
4SKN MOI
I BRK FR SNDY
JS IZ MY ZOMBI
9IN NALZ
CYAN ARA
[re=302407]snideinplainsight[/re]: “with a Catholic indulgence, kind of a package dealio.”
I hadn’t thought of that because my brain was frozen with the horror: When the OK House of Rep Repubtards find out about this, what can they possibly do to top that? Oh, I know. In Oklahoma we’ll have our Jesus waving the old red, white and blue in one hand.
[re=302519]Custerwolf[/re]: guffaw!!!
WHO DYD
AW JEEZ
TAZE ME (that was in Fla, wasn’t it?)
CRST POT8O
[re=302517]Servo[/re]: serious guffaw!!!
[re=302304]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Brilliant!
WZ THT SML
This is way too boring.
I was hoping that the screws that hold the plate on would pierce his hands and there would be real blood continually oozing down the plates onto your garage floor.
GOT WOOD
FMYLIFE
I B DED
[re=302099]davesnothere[/re]: just an artistic rendition, but y’all get the point
[IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/2z7h2fc.jpg[/IMG]
JOHN 3:16
So, in this vein, when I order my personalized Beelzebub plates, there really shouldn’t be any problem, huh?
IL B BK
GAY TORS
I KEEP TABS
My lesbian old momma lives in Florida. I’ll ask her if she’ll do DED J00.
Also: http://img.ffffound.com/static-data/assets/6/997d6a2dfb33b69bc6c71fae6c5d5848eef5f270_m.gif
SUM PULP
[re=302558]davesnothere[/re]: NICE!
I’ve been wracking my brain trying to abbreviate “Peter I can see your house from here.” Beats job hunting.
[re=302540]KittyLitter[/re]: Watch for it in Sky Mall.
STP HMMRTME
[re=302119]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: Roman Vice-Consul Cheney Dickus Maximus outsourced the job to Blackwater.
BAK N 3
They just do this shit so that the lawyers for the wingnuts can feel important arguing stupid cases before various appelate courts. Sometimes they even get to go to DC all expenses paid? Who wouldn’t dream up Christ on a license plate in such a time as ours?
Ah yes, this is an occasion to sing a nice hymn:
Blue skinned zombie amputee Jesus loves me, yes I know /
’cause the Florida Legislature tells me so /
our brains to Him they all belong /
’cause they are weak but He is strong
Yes, Zombie Jesus loves me! /
Yes, Zombie Jesus loves me! /
Yes, Zombie Jesus loves me! /
’cause the Lege, they tell me so.
Nobody ever accused Floridians of being terribly classy, but this takes the cake. What do they want us to think? On the day Christ was tortured and crucified on the cross, at least it was a lovely, sunshiny day? So, um yeah, there’s that! Jeebus, what a bunch of friggin’ maroons!
Utah, it’s your turn.
This plate will not be available at certain Florida DMV offices in Dade, Broward and Palm Beach counties. And select areas of St. Pete, Sarasota and Tampa. Wink wink nudge nudge.
Reach Out And Touch Me!
Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone whos there……..
Was Jeebus really a victim of a shark attack?
“This was no boating accident!”
[re=302545]Servo[/re]: Point, set, match.
How much you wanna bet the first vanity tag will read:
DIED 4U
Honorable mentions:
HOLY RLR
GOD LVR
WW I DO?
He looks more like Hindi Hare Krishna Jesus to me, what with the blue skin color.
[re=302658]Giant Robot[/re]: Oh yes, that’s a WIN for sure!
Do they make a bobble head version?
[re=302601]qaf[/re]:
FLM @11
HIGH 5
Instead of the “Sunshine State” (excellent motto though it is below the pitcher of crucified muscular Jesus):
1. “Friggin frig, you well-oiled fags. A little help, please.”
2. “Advil.”
3. “See. Mom said you should have been a dentist.”
4. “Visit Key West.”
5. “Muslims.”
6. “Que, Manuel? No lo tiene el Green Card?”
7. “Look on the sunnyside of life.”
8. “’The Wrestler’, now on DVD.”
Florida wants Jebus for a sunbeam.
JBS BLT MY HTRD
[re=302274]Wonko[/re]: Well, all that simply means is that the good ol’ Blood Libel needs to be updated from “The Jews Killed Jesus” to “The FLORIDA Jews Killed Jesus”
Not even gonna bother reading through all the shit above.
BUT SEX
Not brass! This thing just screams for blue trucknutz.
(Florida…you’re such an inspiration for the ways that I’ll never ever choose to be)
HLY SHT
WWJ DRV
[re=302115]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Last time I was in Florida, I tailgated a car with an ABORTED FETUS license plate!!!! But it turned out to be in honor of the MANATEE.
[re=302304]Hooray For Anything[/re]: False. The back judge never looks down.
http://thenastyboys.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/touchdown_jesus.jpg
Like most libtard socialists, you must have raised to play Montesorri sports, in which scoring is seen as a shameful assertion of individualism. If it were up to your bee-bop, hemp-smoking hippie types, we would have never liberated Iraquistan or … Europe or the French. Hmmm. Otay …. as to the last, that was actually a judgment call.
Texas Bulldoggette- The last time I was in Florida I about rear-ended (nudge, nudge) a car with an ABORTED FETUS license plate. Turned out it was in honor of the MANATEE….all wrinkly gray and squishy looking. But on the other hand, at work I used to park next to a gray Prius with the license plate: ATHEIST , also, too.
I might be wrong, but isn’t that a penis sticking out of his crown of thorns?
[re=302524]DustBowlBlues[/re]: And an assault rifle in the other hand.
Help me, I can’t stop!
WID LOD
8BYG8R
JUZBURN
IDIDAIDS
ILVBOIS
FORT DIX
NO LEGZ
MR B8R
SK8 R DI
STRAND PS
ANJEL B8
MNA MNA
GR8DCHEZ
LIKRELX
KUNG PAO
ISLLAMA
ISOHOTWF
2SNID4U
See you all in Hell!
In Tennessee we have an Elvis license plate.
He’s kind of Jesus-y. He’s been dead for years, but his resurrected ass keeps popping up all over the place.
But, our plate just has him playing the guitar and shit, not slumped over dead on the toilet or anything.
FK THYS
RES R ECT
ABZ OV STL
NAP TM
CRS RDS
SAM PLE
ASE GT ME
DWN FRM HR
DRP KIK ME
this is exactly why i must get back to new york/civilization pronto! have been stuck here on my “unemployment tour 09″ with my folks for a bit, and believe me, this is just skimming the surface of shit that goes in good ole FLA. after reading local papers–say, the florida times-union–you’d be scared, too.
[re=302208]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: WIN
lol those wacky Floridians!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
[re=302215]magic titty[/re]: Wow. I am truly honored. Thank you!
ALSO
HNG UP NDRV
LYFS A POS
LK@BRYT SD
H20 WLKR
HAI DARWIN
Jesus H. Crist. You have to nail these to the back of your truck, right?
[re=302999]katrina[/re]: “H20 WLKR”
There’s a liquidy win.
Um, looks like Odin to me…
Just sayin…
KNCMYHSE
ORANGEJU
BDSMFAN
MTSMRDR
STMCELL
CRIST4GUV
NVR FRGT
AMWAY
[re=302567]Chuckie Jesus[/re]: Of the 3000 posts, you win. Not that I’m going to read all this shit.
HANGIN
SUNBRN
DANGME
ARMLSS
HENNGGHH?
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