PUT A FACE MASK ON TWITTER  9:37 am April 28, 2009

Twitter + Swine Flu = Stupid

by Ken Layne

Bawk Bawk ... Chicken rhythm.This might seem nuts, but it turns out that the combination of Twitter and the Pig-Bird-Mexican flu pandemic is a whole lot of Wrong. That is the point of this post, we think, although this quote from CNN sort of demolishes, well, everything: “Chatter about swine flu is also loud elsewhere online. About 10 times more people are writing online about swine flu than wrote about the salmonella and peanut butter scares from this winter, Nielsen says.” [CNN]

 
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{ 40 comments }

WagTehGod April 28, 2009 at 9:42 am

The media is trying to have a “see, i told you so, you’re gonna miss us when we’re gone!” moment.

Reading the swineflu topic on Twitter makes me laugh but I can also follow direct updates from the CDC. Watching Anderson Cooper makes me afraid. Watching Glenn Beck makes me stock up on ammo.

Twitter and Wonkette. I am so set for the apocalypse.

Mr Blifil April 28, 2009 at 9:44 am

“About 10 times more people are writing online about swine flu than wrote about the salmonella and peanut butter scares”

That is because there are about 10 pig fuckers for every peanut butter eater. And the pig fuckers are experiencing serious withdrawal right now.

Either that or the same few douchebags are Twatting 10 times as often as they used to. And who the fuck is “Nielsen?”

Serolf Divad April 28, 2009 at 9:48 am

Is it the Zombi Apocalypse yet?

Deepthroat April 28, 2009 at 9:50 am

You see, there is something out there which threatens our very existence and may be the end to the human race as we know it. I’m talking, of course, about Manbirdpig.

norbizness April 28, 2009 at 9:50 am

You can eliminate the “+ Swine Flu” portion of the equation to make it more generally applicable.

crikey_booya April 28, 2009 at 9:51 am

I now present patient zero:
http://tinyurl.com/ctz4cg

Blingee contest perhaps?

bago April 28, 2009 at 9:51 am

Here’s your wrong.

crikey_booya April 28, 2009 at 9:53 am
Wet Work April 28, 2009 at 10:00 am

I think the difference is that in the prior scares, the issue wasn’t spreadability. Playing with the peanut butter angle, you see.

rocktonsammy April 28, 2009 at 10:01 am

I’m panicking over when I should start panicking, there is a lot of swine in Iowa.

groove April 28, 2009 at 10:08 am

The media is just as bad than teh Twatters. Did you watch the Gibbs daily briefing yesterday? Jesus, the WH Press Corps is a bunch of drama queens.

“ZOMG, THE PRESIDENT WAS EXPOSED TO MEXICANS! IS HE DYING? THIS IS A REAL QUESTION THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AND ENRAGED NEW YORKERS WANT TO HAVE ANSWERED DAMN YOU ROBERT GIBBS, DAMN YOU FOR NOT FUELING THIS FIRE OF DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!12″

Guppy06 April 28, 2009 at 10:14 am
magic titty April 28, 2009 at 10:17 am

Alright, fine. I’m doing it. I’m blog-whoring. Shorts did it. Now I will do it too. It is Magic Titty time.

http://www.cuterthanjesus.com/

accidental_tourist April 28, 2009 at 10:23 am

Yeah, well what I want to know is who says that 10 times more people are writing online about swine flu than wrote about the salmonella and peanut butter scares. Who’s watching, reading, creating a database? Maybe this is why to this day I refuse to own a cell phone. *Taking my pork chop and going back to the bunker at the senior citizen’s center where it’s safe. For now.*

NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE’LL ALL BE STANDING IN LINE TO BE MICRO-CHIPPED NEXT TO THE STATUE OF LIBERTY CRACKING HER WHIP. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!11

Naked Bunny with a Whip April 28, 2009 at 10:24 am

Swine flu is caused by tainted peanut butter! You heard it on Wonkette first!!!1!

freakishlystrong April 28, 2009 at 10:25 am

Carpe’ Levus…

Min April 28, 2009 at 10:26 am

I am studiously avoiding having sex with pigs, chickens, and people who look like pigs or chickens. I am also studiously avoiding blogging about it.

Naked Bunny with a Whip April 28, 2009 at 10:27 am

[re=301449]Min[/re]: Well, as long as you’re still cool with rabbits.

gjdodger April 28, 2009 at 10:33 am

The best part of all this is I get to bring back my favorite joke from the 70s:

Q: What happened when the pig grew wings?

A: SWINE FLEW!

Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.

WadISay April 28, 2009 at 10:34 am

The Repubs are trying to make Twitter their medium, and “swine” anything naturally makes them nervous.

suchsweetthunder April 28, 2009 at 10:35 am

[re=301430]rocktonsammy[/re]: Don’t worry about it. You’re definitely catching the herp or the flu or whateva’. God doesn’t like Iowa this week . . . ask any Christ Potato.

arclight April 28, 2009 at 10:37 am
hobospacejunkie April 28, 2009 at 10:49 am

[re=301420]Deepthroat[/re]: I thought it was going to end with Marburg Virus, like the best ever TV show’s 2nd season (Millennium.)

But yes, ManBearPig Virus is COMING TO GET YOU. I’M THUPER THERIAL!!

dave666 April 28, 2009 at 10:50 am

How will this affect the Baconaise supply?

cranky April 28, 2009 at 11:01 am

well, i have blog-flu. how many people can say that.

hobospacejunkie April 28, 2009 at 11:04 am

♫♪♫Just how much ManBearPig Flu
Will you be able to take
Well there’s no way to tell
By the first kiss

What’s a sweetheart like you
Doin’ in a quarantine like this♫♪♫

Naked Bunny with a Whip April 28, 2009 at 11:08 am

I’m so glad I only fuck kosher animals.

BigBrainOnBrad April 28, 2009 at 11:10 am

I tried to warn everyone about the dangers of ManBirdPig flu. No one thought I was serial.

Custerwolf April 28, 2009 at 11:15 am

Which proves that people’s idiocy mutates and spreads faster than any goddamned virus ever dreamed of.

Custerwolf April 28, 2009 at 11:23 am

[re=301449]Min[/re]: Okay, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and ask – you guys do realize that the virus is not spread by fucking a pig, nor did it originate out of someone fucking a pig?
I just wanted to make that clear.
So please don’t stop fucking pigs on account of all this.

Naked Bunny with a Whip April 28, 2009 at 11:40 am

[re=301519]Custerwolf[/re]: Is it bird flu that you catch by fucking pigs? Science is so confusing.

Custerwolf April 28, 2009 at 11:51 am

[re=301531]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: All species (including ourselves) are nothing but a multi-textured playground for the mutating pleasure of every virus and bacterium wanting to express a desire to multiply and divide.

Naked Bunny with a Whip April 28, 2009 at 11:53 am

[re=301544]Custerwolf[/re]: That explains all the protist porn on the internet.

Custerwolf April 28, 2009 at 12:07 pm

[re=301548]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Jesus you should go out to a eukaryoke bar sometime.

snideinplainsight April 28, 2009 at 12:07 pm

[re=301455]gjdodger[/re]: Uh, THAT was your favorite joke from the 70s?

Barebear April 28, 2009 at 12:29 pm

[re=301519]Custerwolf[/re]: You can still fuck them, just don’t kiss them afterwards . . .

RabidHamster April 28, 2009 at 12:49 pm

I guess this wasn’t the best week for my kids’ 4-h group to finally send home the piglets . . .

Zadig April 28, 2009 at 1:06 pm

[re=301424]bago[/re]: Oh dear, I didn’t know that 4chan was up to some major shenanigans recently. I wouldn’t say that it’s bigger than Obama or whatever, but 4chan is actually insanely influential, on the internets, and I guess by extension moot is too, for keeping it running, and banning people who post CP.

AnnieGetYourFun April 28, 2009 at 3:07 pm

[re=301421]norbizness[/re]: Yes. Twitter is like the number zero in that no matter what you multiply it against, you get nothing of value.

luilah April 29, 2009 at 6:53 am

This website http://www.swine-flu-tracker.com/ shows you in real time how quickly swine flu is spreading.

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