Wonkette
- Bird-Pig-Mexican Flu! Oh Mayan God of Horror, we are all going to die from this fucking Mexican flu, like it wasn’t bad enough that we lost 40% on our investments since last year, and our houses are worth negative-nothing-infinity, if we even have houses, which we don’t, because come on that was the Death Seed in the Uterus of this Whole Global Depression, so FUCK YOU INDIANA JONES AND THE SECRET FLU OF THE NASAL PASSAGES OF THE SECRET CRYSTAL TAMIFLU SKULL. [Washington Post]
- That’s about it, as far as what’s going on. What will you do today? Weep at home or weep at the CVS, with your face masks, at checkout, while some transvestite crack whore just cold starts SNEEZING all over your mouth-parts? [Death]
- Seriously, do you skip work? Keep the kids home? Day Care Is Filled With Mexi-Germs. [Slow, Annoying Death]
- Those real-life hobbits found in Indonesia are confusing everybody, except for the editors of the New York Times opinion page, who hired beautiful-blonde-fearing neck-bearded actual hobbit Ross Douthat as Bill Kristol’s replacement. Ross hearts, uhm, Dick Cheney …. Sure, whatever, 800 words. [New York Times/New York Times]
- The World Health Organization goes to Level Four Freakout, as the Flu Pandemic inches closer to officially becoming a Flu Pandemic. [True/Slant]
- Some NYC factotum named “Mark Mungos” must be fired for letting those military jets dive-bomb Manhattan for a photo op. [The Awl]
- NO WAIT, some White House factotum named “Louis Caldera” must be fired for letting those military jets dive-bomb Manhattan for a photo op. [Gawker]
The whole HHS team and CDC needs to be fired for the naughty fly by. This is the only way they will learn how to properly control a flu epidemic.
Wonkette business opportunity: Sell Wonkette branded anti-pig flu masks.
I tried to get my pig to wear a mask but it just doesn’t stay on…
Douhat’s article is an awkward kind of “lets make it look at first like I’m a hardcore wingnut who wishes Cheney were pres., but really if you read it closer actually what I’m saying is the opposite, because I don’t want the GOP to be so ka, ka, ka, Krazay!”
plowman: I got the Swine flu from my Harley.
You don’t have to be a Republican to catch swine flu? That’s so confusing.
eh, Douthat, Asshat, whatever.
Has anyone noticed the caption under Ross’s picture in the article says “Susan Etheridge for The New York Times”?
plowman: I just threw out all my pig’s lipstick. Can’t be too cautious.
I hope this flu thing passes soon. I’ve been holding my breath for days, and I’m getting a bit dizzy.
If you think the flu is bad, just wait for the radioactive locusts this summer!
Is it just kids from Catholic schools who are infected? Cuz, I’m O.K. with that.
bitchincamaro: Hey, that was my high school! But I admit, I’m no longer Catholic.
I don’t understand; why is everyone blaming K-Lo for the flu?
Johnny Zhivago: And since when do high schoolers get to go to Mexico on spring break? Pig fuckers.
http://imgur.com/27K39.jpg
First they take our jobs, then they wolf-whistle at our sisters, now they will exterminate us.
Serolf Divad: I KNOW! I had to read it about 17 times to figure out where he was going. First, I thought it was something he phoned in…which would have been odd for his debut column. Then I read it again and thought, no, he’s trying to expose Cheney as a death-loving psycho killer. Then I thought, meh, I don’t want to work that hard when I read the NYTimes. Bring back Kristol…so I don’t have to waste any brain cells.
WTOP had Mike Allen of Politico on to talk about swine flu. When the ‘TOP reporter asked about Republicans cutting pandemic preparedness funds in the stimulus bill, Allen couldn’t dismiss it quickly enough so he could bring up out of nowhere the Air Force One over Manhattan story. Tool.
Ha Ha! I got laid off back in November, so I don’t have to go to the office so I can catch a fatal doze of the flu. I can sit here at home, and watch as all the working stiffs run around with their hair on fire, while I slowly starve to death cause I have no monies. Suckers!
hockeymom: Serolf Divad:
I’m not sure I read him that way.
“In the wake of two straight drubbings at the polls, much of the American right has comforted itself with the idea that conservatives lost the country primarily because the Bush-era Republican Party spent too much money on social programs.”
Is that really what the wingnuts think; that they lost because they were too compassionately conservative? If that’s true, then they are even more out of touch with reality than I ever imagined.
“… argument about the means and ends of our interrogation policy that should have happened during the general election … “
I think having that argument prior to the election, at least on the terms of Cheney v. the rule of law, would have truly exposed the republicans for the idiots that they are.
rcdl: It would be even better if it said Melissa Etheridge.
Oh Ross! The Democratic Party may have taken LEAVE OF ITS SENSES!!!1!1!!
What person under 75 would ever consider writing such a thing? This dude is earning WAAAAYYY less then Kristol was pulling down. And Kristol has the in on the sweet sweet wingnut welfare cash. Whereas Ross in 5 years time will be starting a blog with Ben Domenech.
Next it will be the rightwing nano-Cheney mites and NO serum!
Ross can’t smile in any of his pictures because it might pull his flesh back and reveal the second chin he is so desperately trying to hide with that beard of his.
I ride the Metro every day, and get every cold that comes down the pike from the hacking, sneezing, snorting masses, so no doubt I will be dead by next week.
Oh well, it’s been real, Wonkette. Thanks for the memories.
Dylan quote FTW
Advocatus_Diaboli: Yes, yes they do think that. Whatever the question is, the true Republican believer thinks the answer is more tax cuts and less government spending, except for spending on wars, of course.
My former mother-in-law is in the Yucatan as we speak on some sort of Smithsonian trip. I just wish she’d taken her daughter with her….
Wait…you mean staying home from work was an option? Why didn’t I get this memo?
bitchincamaro: I know - in my day, we would go to The Bronx for Summer Break.
@Doglessliberal: Dibs on your stuff.
I mean, I hope you get better soon!
Is this like the 3rd Vision of Johanna in the last six months or so? Awesome! Not so awesome? The Spectrum filled with 15,000 pig bird flu victims this Friday and Saturday. I am pretty sure the government will send us directly to the infimiry camp after the Saturday show…hope the nitrous guys will be there. Pig bird flu FTW.
Mr Blifil: Yeah, last thing I did before going to bed was post my (never to be ‘printed,’ they never are even though I don’t use bad words) comment on Douchhat’s assertion that prosecuting torture = Democrats taking leave of their senses.
So by prosecuting torture and adhering to the treaty signed in 1988 by St. Ronald Reagan, the Democratic Party will be taking leave of its senses? Seriously? This is his rebuttal to confessions of torture and demands for prosecution, that to do so indicates a psychological pathology? How very fitting for the right wing of the party. Projection much?
And the little bearded clam buried it at the end of his word vomit, as if the issue is settled. If he’s this pig-stupid (apologies, pigs) it’s going to be a long year w/o KristolMeth.
Speaking as someone who personally handled casts of every fucking hominoid and hominid in fucking existence during a two-credit course in paleoanthropology at the U of C under the tutelage of Russ Tuttle, these ’scientists’, quote-unquote, see new species EVERYWHERE, because that’s where the money and fame is. Everyone wants there to be more human species and sub-species; no-one wants a sad little pile of inbred microcephalic island weirdos.
HandsomePete: Susan Estrich?
AxmxZ: sad little pile of inbred microcephalic island weirdos
Science Quote of the Year!!
Naked Bunny with a Whip: that includes a cat and a husband, if you want.
@Doglessliberal: I could probably make a few bucks selling them for parts.
hobospacejunkie: So by prosecuting torture and adhering to the treaty signed in 1988 by St. Ronald Reagan, the Democratic Party will be taking leave of its senses?
Yeah, what kind of douchebag comes to that conclusion? Oh yeah, Barack Obama, Ross Douthat, and the entire media/political establishment. I don’t like it, but it is the conventional wisdom.
Conventional wisdom yes, but arrived at from different directions. Obama knows prosecution will cause a shit storm & inhibit his agenda, plus the CIA won’t be his friend anymore. Wingtards don’t want prosecution because they actually believe torture is OK and works, but are too scared to actually try that argument in court. So instead Douchehat projects insanity upon the Democrats, when the real insanity issues forth like green vomit from Linda Blair. Obama doesn’t think prosecution indicates taking leave of his party’s senses, he just thinks its impractical.
Not that i agree with either argument. I’m with Jonathan Turley. Too bad it’s inconvenient. It’s the right thing to do. We signed a treaty. We’re better than that (or should be.) There should be no debate. And if we don’t do it (prosecute) someone will, and then that’ll be a nice little diplomatically embarrassing tête-à-tête, arguing against extradition for prosecution of torture.
AxmxZ: Oh, look on the internet long enough and you’ll find a group of inbred microcephalic island weirdo fetishists
JMP: That is, in fact, why del.icio.us was created.
I used to date a Catholic girl who had swine flu, she said it was OK and would go away but that darn rash on my pecker comes back everytime I get a little stressed out…
If we can’t dive bomb Manhattan for fun or profit, the terrorists have won.