Wonkette
NO WE DID NOT BAN YOU (YET): We don’t know what’s going on with the comments, either. But we have our comment boxes again, on our various machines, across this great land. HEADQUARTERS is maybe working on the “can’t comment at Wonkabout” problem? Okay here is a fun challenge: If you can comment, but couldn’t before, please explain what happened, in the comments, and then we’ll have TECH SUPPORT read these comments, the end?
Mother?
“If you can comment, but couldn’t before, please explain what happened….”
I woke up. I had been sleeping.
Tech support? You have tech support? What king of blog is this? Do you also have valet parking service and catered lunches?
Everybody’s Hugging!
What happened was I went into the comments and found a bunch of screeds from Dumfukistan stinking up the joint. On closer inspection they turned out to be my own earlier comments, submitted under the influence of a pharmacological/alcoholical soup whose doses are difficult to titrate.
Oh that and the comment I’m entering now has GOTTEN ME BANNED. I HOPE NOOOOOBAMA IS HAPPEEZ.
When I click on a Wonkabout link, it always asks me to login again. Then I lose my desire to comment because I have the attention span of a gnat and poor Juli Weiner and Elizabeth Askew don’t get my appreciation for her wonderful posts. PLS FIX THIS KEN LAYNE KTHX
I was unable to comment at the end of last week; favicons wouldn’t load, either. I updated IE and SpybotSD, then reset IE because the registry data may have been corrupted. Fixed. Much faster also.
I couldn’t comment because the comment box was full of porn. Your move, Tech Support.
BillyClubb: I assume by ‘tech support’ Ken Layne means he has a starving Indian guy locked up in his basement.
I think it wuz this thing thet broak teh Wonkette Intratoobz…
“Open the pod-bay doors, please, Hal.”
I put SAGE in the email field and it fixed it.
I had 7 “WINS”, a big star by my screen name, a handsome, discernable, avatar, and TruckNutz in my mouth. Then the screen went blank and so did I.
[I'm hoping this post will be excreted to the ether like the last 4.]
I tried following up the Borgen post a couple hours ago by reading the linked post that was supposedly overrun with Borgians. What I got was the regular post (hey, Josh!) but no comments and no link to them, and the regular comment input box at the bottom. I didn’t know if this was normal, but it was sure weird.
Apparently, Wonkette has been “McCained”.
Outsourced your tech support to Mexico, eh?
I refuse to disclose whether I am now, or have ever been, a poster on this website.
Too much Leonard Cohen alt-text. My browser shot itself.
I have no idea if I couldn’t comment before, but I can now.
Bearbloke: you should be at least 81 to watch that… oh god, my eyes, MY EYES!
I don’t know if I can comment here or not, but I can comment on the post that WON THE DAY.
http://www.dailypaul.com/node/91093
Being Australian,I slept through the whole thing. That’s te problem with timezones - we wake up to discover that you lot have painted the world purple on a drunken binge, or elected another Bush and there’s nothing we can do (except wrestle a crocodile or find a compliant sheep).
I was “looking” at a picture of Jim and suddenly went stereoblind.
I’m not really much of techno-whiz when it comes to ‘puters, but my guess would be that somethin’ got shitted up big time. When’s the last time you changed the timin’ belt? Do you have any mexican servers? Could be that swine flu virus?
slappypaddy: …and the take-away lesson here is: DON’T EVER DATE MICHELLE BACHMANN!!!
So I updated to IE 7, then proxied my bookmarks, then I updated my registry, see? Then I went in and manually overwrote my IIRC DLL, then I got a rootkit and hacked the stupid Adobe update wedge, right? You with me still? Then I removed the component for the IIS and forged the root certificate for that. Then, then, then I gotta, I forget, pulled a backup, I had a symantic endpoint for the security client, I reset the permissions for that, but then you gotta make that the default across all users, then,…
Ah, FRAK it. You had me at ‘beer’ -
slappypaddy: Definitely a Republican video. Insanely stupid AND up the ass.
Dinga-dinga dee!
WagTehGod: If there’s ever a http://www.dailymichelebachmann.com I’m going to just walk into a Mexican pig farm and embrace death.
I couldn’t comment, but then I found an empty box of Rings Dings and 2-Liter bottles of Pepsi and a crumpled up note reading “K-Lo was here.”
I can comment, but it never posts as funny as I write it - are you censoring out my funniez?
I couldn’t post before because I was employed. Sorry, I won’t let that happen again. But I know a new avatar when I see one. Thanks SKS!
Its that Cornfuker worm or sum such in teh tubes.
BORING WONKETTE DAY
I DON THING YOU GUYZ AR HALPIN KIN LANE
The Wonkette shuts me down at least twice a day and I have to reboot but it’s worth it to not have to deal with the insanity of my workplace. Save me.
hobospacejunkie: but that’s just how they are
hmm, had just assumed that the “-about” section was for platinum members only. (being bronze at best, didn’t want to push it…)
I can’t comment, also.
Comment? Iz that some librul ting? Fuck libruls! Go USA!
I couldn’t post because I’m a dumb, illiterate rabbit, derrr.
Naked Bunny with a Whip:
Big Wig will fix yer bunny ass!
hobospacejunkie: Do you think Ken really expected constructive comments here? Try to imagine it:
Ken: “OK everyone, that was funny. But seriously this time, please post only details of your technical problems so we can fix them.”
Everyone: BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
FAILed, it must be REDSTATErs. Hah, as if!
chascates: I didn’t go to the michelebatcrazy site because I’m laughing so hard at “walk into a Mexican farm and embrace death.”
Oh, the wonkeratti truly are the nation’s finest minds.
Oh, what were we talking about? Oh, comments. I don’t really understand the internets but I know that when I don’t have a reply function, I don’t comment that I can’t comment because there is no reply function. But that never seems to stop the rest of you, which is why I don’t understand the internets.
John McCain is advertising on a website that shows three McCain heads licking themselves.
Sometimes I can’t comment even though I appear to be logged in. I just wind up at the user account/edit profile thing, and the only options I have are to return to Wonkette (can’t comment when I do) or to log out.
I was busy in my garden. If tech support can help me with my weeding, feel free to send them over.
Naked Bunny with a Whip:
…or General Woundwort.
At least Barry’s attempted strafing of Lady Liberty knocked all the MEXICAN DEATH PLAGUE heads off of Drudge’s site and replaced them with:
“WHITE HOUSE CAUSES TERROR SCARE IN NYC…
WAS UPDATING FILE PHOTO OF AIR FORCE ONE…
Buildings evacuated in panic…
New Yorkers Run Through Streets…
Put City on Edge…
‘We thought we were under attack again’…
Bloomberg Ballistic…
Photo op nightmare…
Video…”
Sounds as bad as 9/11 or the last Godzilla attack.
I was able to comment when i was at my computer and then, for some reason, when I went to grandma’s for spaghetti I couldn’t comment but when i got back to my computer i was able to comment. what do you think was the matter? give it to me straight tech support, I can take it. OOOOooooo! That sounded like I was talking about butsecks!
windupbird: Hey, what do you think this is, some freakin tech support thread?
No comment.
Please send me five dollars.
ihasasad: Spaghetti, eh? Login filters out impastas.
Servo: Okay, now I totally don’t understand the internets. Oh, I get it–you’re talking about Wonkabout. Okay, now I can’t help at all.
BillyClubb: Wonkette’s HQ has marble floors and oak paneling. Plus everyone must wear a smoking jacket. This ain’t no state-school blog.
i see a painted rachel. is there something wrong with my graphics?
DustBowlBlues: Me neither.
Mr Blifil: “submitted under the influence of a pharmacological/alcoholical soup whose doses are difficult to titrate”
It’s contageous. That happened to me too, damn you pig flu!
Post. Post. 1 2 3……
Well, it hurts when I bend my elbow, and this rash thing doesn’t seem to be going away.
HELP ME MR TECH SUPPORT. THE TRUCKNUTZ! THEY BURN!!!!!!!
Did anyone notice that after that plane flew over Manhattan today one of the Twin Towers reappeared?
The Confluence will be bragging about how they HaX0red the daily swine
Dear tech support:
This will be no help at all but
I think it was last week I kept trying to log in and after putting in my user name and password, I was still at the login screen. No error or anything.
So I tried again. And again. And around and around it went,
like a ‘how do you drive a stupid person crazy?’ joke.
I got dizzy.
So I went and did some - eh - werk for a few days and then everything was fine.
Also, I like nerds. What are you wearing?
My avatar didn’t like that post about K-Lo and teh pr0n so it deleted itself.
ALIVE!: The best suggestion I can offer is to turn the website off and on again. Try blowing in it a la Nintendo from the eighties.
i don’t understand.
chascates: Anybody checked the MEXICAN DEATH PLAGUE map recently?… It seems that North Carolina, Scotland and New Zealand have fallen into brain-eating-zombie pandemonium…… ummmm, Trucknutz!
qaf: All of that was perfectly normal; what was not normal was that the Comics Curmudgeon post was signed by Alex Pareene, whoever he is.
But yes, the problem source is clearly the Borgen Project. Little known fact: number 7 on the list of Millennium Goals is “The End of Wonkette. Plus Late Night Shots, if we can swing it.” They got close on this one - well, at least closer than they’ve gotten on any of the other Goals.
Of course, an estimated $19 billion could change all that.
Let’s all go snurging. Oh fuck — are comments working again?
WONKAGEDDON IS NIGH!!!!!!!!!!
facehead: http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/22/missing.virus.sample/index.html
If you still cannot comment, I suggest you say prayers to Jeebus via twitter, as recommended by a high-ranking Irish Catholic priest today. It may not work, but you know, sometimes God’s greatest gifts are unanswered tweets.
wheelie: Does God have a Facebook page now?
Custerwolf: you’re so saucy
facehead: Oh yeah, and Michigan has fallen to the zombies, too. Maybe they’ll help the Lions build a decent team next season…
Did you try having your tech support remove their body piercings? I am now again receiving my instruction from Uranus.
Maybe Wonkabout is sick with BARRY IMPLEMENTED SWINE FLU.
Oh fuck today has sucked. HELLO EVERYONE! Sorry that I have not been able to engage in these strange musings. More at 11…
Things that don’t work right now:
1. Stock Market.
2. Chinese drywall.
3. Teabagging.
4. My passenger side window.
5. Orange multi-purpose cleaner.
6. Wonkabout.
7. Ford Motor Cars.
There is a delay after signing in and a 50/50 shot of going back to where I have to hit sign-in, again.
I know my e-mail addy ends in cox.net, I have no choice in the matter, but that shouldn’t cause said issue.
Bearbloke: When Ford’s sales are ahead of Toyota’s, the Lions will win another game.
american mutt: It’s never a boring wonkette day, just boring news. I feared it would be like this forever when Hopey won and we lived in unicorn land. But the Republicans keep things lively but even they run out of retarded things to say once in a while. Given them a day or two.
Wow. Would you look at that. My wolfie has magically blossomed into a Lotus Flower. Something strange is afoot….
shortsshortsshorts: Wonkabout is up and taking comments. Did you check or was it one of your many staff members who told yo that?
chascates: Hahaha my “staff members” are too high on “drugs” to do anything like fakt checking. You pretty much are one anyway, SO HOW IS YOUR LSD DOING?
well it works for me
if I can read this after submitting….. that feels kinda tingly
I like bacon, will I gets teh porky flu now also
shortsshortsshorts: No LSD in many years, though not for lack of desire. No ganja, only for lack of cash and initiative. I did buy a great bottle of Pernod this weekend and made pastis (1 Pernot to 5 water). Currently working through a cheap cab sav and hoping for a Michele Bachmann episode in the next few days.
She’s got to have something to say about this porky sickness.
And in case anyone has missed hearing about there is a major cultural and journalistic event coming up on CNN:
“Rock star Bono interviews George Clooney for a Time 100/Anderson Cooper 360 special airing May 1 at 11:00 p.m. ET.”
Let’s see Meghan McCain top THAT!
I just found this through the email account I never use so it is important and omg I won:
http://blingee.com/badge/view/541/user/13824685
I couldn’t comment because Wonkette stopped acknowleding my existence, no matter how many times I tried to log out and back in again. Now I know how inner gay children feel at Republican conventions.
facehead: Well deserved, my friend, well deserved.
I have never been able to get into wonkabout. It wants me to log in again and I have never been able to edit or change my password which since the Great Migration continues to be about 27 mysterious characters long. If I get logged out I have to ask for a temp password to get back in. I would love to go back to my old itty bitty password but IT is busy with porn and youtube. I can however change my avatar anytime I want. Weird.
DustBowlBlues: the nation’s finest minds, on (or maybe off) the nation’s finest meds. manamana.
Okay, I still can’t comment on Wonkabout, but there’s the way I jimmy it so the comments work: Go to a Wonkabout article, then in the url text box (the one that has the whole address and where you type in a website’s address etc.) and change the URL so instead of saying http://wonkabout (then the dot-com-slash-article-name) it says http://wonkette (dot-com etc. etc.) This page suddenly recongnizes my cookie and lets me comment.
I think this whole thing could be fixed if you could get your server to touch the hem of one of President Obama’s garments.
Soooo…where’s the story, “Clearasil killer loses zit.”
Low overhang: That’s not quite how it works… check this out:
http://thumpandwhip.com/2009/04/27/swine-flu-mini-tutorial/
First they came for the intelligent people, and I said nothing because I’m not that intelligent.
Then they came for the clever people, and I said nothing because I’m not that clever.
Then they came for the snarky people, and I said Fuck you, assholes, I voted for Ron Paul.
And they shot me in the knee.
I had the best comment in the motherf$%ing world, Ken. It’s a long story, but it involves a shiny demon. He threatened to eat my soul and so I said the first thing that came to my head. Just so happened to be the greatest comment in the world.
I haven’t tried to comment because I just got back from Costco, and fighting over 10 lb bags of rice and cases of ramen noodles.
I when I saw your commenter problem I thought I’d send Wonkette my Amiga 1000 because it always works. I only used it for playing strip poker anyway. It didn’t fit in the box so I had to use a hack saw and a hammer to get it to fit. Your Welcome! The postage should be about $13.26.
Color me tard, but I believe that some day my chocolate bar will have a Golden Ticket, then I’ll have a chance to visit the Wily Wonkabout Comment Factory.
RobPetrified: If it had anything to do with you voting for Ron Paul, can you blame them?
WadISay: WIN
chascates: He only has one “staff member” and it is currently deep inside a sheep.
The Wonkette interwebs were clogged from a lack of buttsecks. I’ve come to rectify the situation.
To help the Wonkette Masters: The only truthful comments are those that start “I was masturbating….” I mean, you did read K-Lo’s screed, right?
Hey, wow! Now I can comment, when I haven’t been able to do so since before Wonkette became independent or whatever. Of course, not being able to comment meant I spent less time reading comments and thinking of what witty thing I might say, so maybe I was better off before. Curse you Wonkette!
I kans comment hear, but I’m not allowed to post my brilliant, witty bon mot about Specters defection.
And I only voted for Ron Paul in the primary to mess with the Republicans.
In the general election, I voted for the human.
why can’t your lame website open links in a new tab like every other lame website on teh internets? huh?