Wonkette
- CENSUS BUREAU CRIME FREAKOUT UPDATE: “Some guy with a gun jumped the fence @ census bureau. But they caught him now.” [Thanks to Wonkette Operative "Jessica S."]
AT LEAST IT WASN'T THE CHICKEN-PIG VIRUS
Read More:
“i’ll teach you not to count me twice!”
See. The Republicans told you that radical right warning was all BS. Nothing to see here. Move along.
Either it’s a teabagger who hates numbers or one of the stats guys snapped when his mean insanity greatly exceeded his standard deviation.
It was Vince Foster. Trust me, I know.
“I will CUT THE HEDZ off the HEADZ and carry the one…”
Anyone seen Nate Silver?
NEVER FORGET
WIDTAP: Why do you assume a guy trying to shoot up the Census Bureau is a right-winger? Besides not being stupid, I mean.
On a somewhat related note, my 69-year old dad is currently working for the Census as a district manager. People have to take tests to work for the Census, because these are paid positions, though temporary of course. My dad was assigned a government laptop, complete with fingerprint analyzer for logging on. But crazies are attracted to this work as well. Some woman called in sick the first day of her assignment and immediately started asking about “sick pay” provisions (there are none). Another dude went throught the testing and interview process and immediately bolted with the laptop as soon as it was given him. Federal agents had to go to his family home to retrieve the laptop, which he eventually gave back through friends, but supposedly has still vanished. Weird.
Census on Crazed Gunmen Attacking the United States Census Bureau (2009): 1
“Some guy with a gun…” You mean to say we haven’t yet reached the point in our devolution where that phrase is akin to saying, “Some guy with a liver….”?
ManchuCandidate:
I’ll bet you anything he’s from an Atkisson Brigade.
Thanks, Jessica S–our hero! How did you tackle him?
Squiggyfm:
That is a win, but only a Monday morning win, if you see what I mean…
Squiggyfm: (channeling Nate S.) The sample size is way too small to draw any conclusions.
So did the black helicopters have the Presidential seal of your new black overlord?
Because if so, I don’t think it was just due to fashion-oriented colour coordination.
First the census bureau, then Lady Liberty. It’s a blackalypse!!1!!1
4/27, PEOPLE!!1!! NEVA FORGET!!1!!
And 4/20’s worth celebrating too, I guess.
Custerwolf: OMG!! He had a liver??!!?!
Canuckledragger: Learn to close your tags, ASSHOLE!
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Next target: the corrupt and evil Bureau of Mines!
Canuckledragger:
420! NEVAR…uh, wait, what?
He was hunting swine and got lost. He is in fact the pandemic response approved by the GOP in the stimulus bill.
Yews, it’s a clear line of succession from the census bureau to the bliderbergs. I listen to coast to coast.
V572625694: Next target: the corrupt and evil Bureau of Mines!
Oh Lego Jesus now you’ve done it! Get out now or expect a govt knock on your door very soon! NOBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THE ‘BUREAU OF MINES.’ IT IS THE KEY TO THE NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM. PREPARE TO BE DISAPPEARED.
With the sacrifice of the lone gunman, the rest of Swine Strike Force Halliburton quietly exfiltrated after reprogramming the Census Bureau’s Diebold automatic counting machines. The next census will show the United States is all white and Republican.
The intended victim is just another statistic.
Relax, people, it’s just a photo op.
It’s a good thing they stopped him in time. Those census takers can kill a man with their little fingers.
A simple mistake. He was actually looking for the newly activist EPA.
It’s just a shame that “Jessics S.” had to die so we could have snark. Denby is slapping his forehead somewhere…
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Because he went into a place armed, for no discernable reason and without a plan, it didn’t work out the way he figured, and someone else got him out of there.
Everyone knows that the Census Bureau is just a cover for the international headquarters of U.N.C.L.E.
Thank Jeebus and the NRA we don’t have any kind of reasonable gun control in this country, or we’d be denied this delightful entertainment. Oh, and school shooting sprees and presidential assasinations and 3-hour gun battles in residential neighborhoods in Tijuana, but still!…
hobospacejunkie: ZOG must die!!!one!1!
wheelie: WIN.
wheelie: I was almost part of the 1% who didn’t get that joke. ALMOST, I said.
Min: Once he jumped the fence I think he pretty much knew his number was up.
Can the Kos people start screaming how it’s Glenn Beck’s fault yet?
Oath Keeper Oath #37 : We will NOT obey orders to allow ourselves to be counted by a corrupt government seizing all enumerative authority through force. We will fight with our last breath traitorous sensus [sic] takers intent on tallying our numbers under any pretext.
Not on our watch!
wheelie: Very clever. The rest of us need to go on to another thread. This one has been officially snarked.
Was he shouting:
Give up the ACORNS, Librul SCUM!
?
snideinplainsight: and this, from the Ruidoso, NM Ruidoso News–
“Census takers: ‘You can be shot’”
http://www.ruidosonews.com/ci_12214656?source=most_viewed
jasper f. krone: That’s a rather unfortunate headline. You could be shot would be more appropriate. Can be shot makes it seem like he’s almost encouraging people to shoot rather than urging the census takers to be cautious.
Meh. Just a garden variety car-jacking suspect.
Numbers are like scientificals. Scientifics bad. I hunts them with my gun.
hobospacejunkie: I think “Unfortunate Headline” is our Official State Motto. I can’t be sure.