Wonkette
Oklahoma, a state as thick and red as artery blood, actually had a pretty fun idea for the kids recently! It opened an online vote — they have the Internet there, too! — for the public to select the state’s Official Rock Song, the winner of which would be passed on to the state legislature for final approval. A number of liberal Internet music weblogs linked to the vote, and so the winner by a large margin was the song “Do You Realize??” by those delightful drug monsters, The Flaming Lips, who are from Oklahoma. The resolution to coronate this song passed the state Senate unanimously… but then it got to the House! And all it takes is one wingnut to start yelling “communism” and “death” to spoil everyone’s fun. And all it takes is one liberal Democrat governor to tell that wingnut to eat a bag of dicks!
The wingnuts in the House helped vote down the resolution, and one of their pretend-excuses for taking these lazy conservative-base political points was that, uh, one of them there band members wore a communist tee shirt once.
Some legislators believe that a shirt worn by Flaming Lips bassist Michael Ivins when the vote winner was announced at the Capitol on March 2 was offensive. Ivins wore a red T-shirt with a yellow star-and-sickle logo, underneath a blazer. “I don’t know why he made the choice to do that,” said Rep. Corey Holland, R-Marlow. “The great thing about this country is he has the right to make whatever statement he wants to make. I have the right to be offended by that.”
Holland said the choice of attire was not appropriate.
“I felt that the consequences of that were that I would not be able to support that as our state song,” Holland said.
Another wingnut claimed that he heard one of the Flaming Lips cursing at some point? A few years ago? Something about an alley. (Abortions?) He wants to light them on fire!
Rep. Mike Reynolds, R-Oklahoma City, also spoke against the measure, saying the band has a reputation for using obscene language, recalling band members used offensive language several years ago when the city of Oklahoma City named an alley after the band.
“Their lips ought to be on fire,” Reynolds said.
This made the Flaming Lips very sad, since this guy not only rejected the will of the people but also wants their faces to die in a fucking fire.
Fortunately brave Democratic communist Gov. Brad Henry — how the hell did he get elected? — stepped in last night and told the wingnuts to fuck off, making him a hero among young adults in the Northeast’s major cities.
“For more than 20 years ago, Oklahoma’s own Flaming Lips have produced creative, fun and provocative rock music,” Henry said in a press release Thursday evening. “The music of the Flaming Lips has earned Grammys, glowing critical acclaim and fans all over the world. A truly iconic rock ‘n’ roll band, they are proud ambassadors of their home state. They were clearly the people’s choice, and I intend to honor that vote.”
The signing of the executive order will be held at 2 p.m. April 28 at the Oklahoma History Center in Oklahoma City.
And that is how Oklahoma — OKLAHOMA — will have a Flaming Lips song designated as an official, government-approved state symbol.
Flaming Lips: Are they too communist for Oklahoma? [LAT]
Henry steps in after House blisters Lips [Tulsa World]
You’d think the furry contingent of the GOP would be solidly behind this pick.
NOLEEPS! NO STINKIN’ FLAMIN’ LEEPS!
“Away in a Manger” sounds pretty rockin’ for Oklahoma.
How about that one?
I thought OK just had gospel, country, western & square dance music.
Damn — I might have to dig my hammer-and-sickle t-shirt out of the depths of wherever I’ve forgotten it just for this occasion.
DustBowlBlues, I hope you’re enjoying this — it’s a great day for liberal Oklahomans.
Oklahoma is largely populated by people too vile even for Texas.
I’m very happy this worked out, but if those dipshits wanted to find a reason to nix the song, why would they choose “They swore once sometime” instead of pointing out their album about wasting pigs?
SayItWithWookies: “liberal Oklahomans” I think that’s kind of like Jumbo Shrimp. Glad to see Texas has a state even we can look down on. I mean at least some TX counties went for Barry; OK has the distinction of every county voting for Walnuts.
As Principal Skinner said about Butthead Auditorium “Dammit, I wish we hadn’t let the students name that one.’
Judas Peckerwood: agreed. i had to hide in the backseat as a child when we drove through.
wat is a sicle?also.
This must make the olds in OK feel very uncomfortable. Kind of like I did as a kid whenever a very long, screeching guitar solo came on the radio while mom was driving. Soooo uncomfortable.
“Do we have to listen to this racket, Hobo?”
“Fine, mom. Put it back on that Perry Como song. And pull over so I can gay abort myself.”
Come now. If you had to pick a Flaming Lips tune for a state song, wouldn’t you go with “Vaseline”? Much snappier.
I can’t believe those are the only offensive things they found out about the lips, considering they wrote a song called Jesus Shootin’ Heroin.
Dave J.: “You’d think the furry contingent of the GOP would be solidly behind this pick.”
Of course they are. Only at the cover of night when their mommies might not find out.
I recommend instead, this song by Cross Canadian Ragweed:
Them boys from Oklahoma roll their joints all wrong
They’re too damn skinny or way too long
I ain’t no holy roller so I just use a bong
Them boys from Oklahoma roll their joints all wrong
Oklahoma’s kind of like the South, only with less water and no manners. Drove through there once; don’t plan to return.
On their Oh My Gawd album, part of the promo of one song…
“Then there’s the backwards warbling that forms the first part of ‘Ode To C.C.’ - the second part of which is a classic piece of laidback near groove about being hassled by a Jesus freak while waiting for a bus.”
What’s left, the official state fart odor:
week old gym socks vs. unwashed butt vs.
almish country outhouse?
All that’s needed to make this story perfect is for those pics (you know they’re out there somewhere) of Rep. Corey Holland (named after the most Socialist of Drug & Prostitute Lovin Socialist States n’est pas?) in that French Maid outfit to surface. C’mon blogosphere, do your magic!
Tommmcatt: I would’ve chosen “Talkin’ Bout the Smiling Deathporn Immortality Blues” or “The Sound of Failure” or “Redneck School of Technology”… songs that speak to the real ‘Merikin that make Oklahoma part of God’s Country…
Texan Bulldoggette: I had known that the Gap Band were from Tulsa. But dig this: Color Me Badd were from OKC!
I think Richard Rogers said pretty much all there was to say on the subject…
No matter how hard it tries, Oklahoma will never be Utah; to paraphrase Norm Crosby, before they made Utah, they broke the mold.
Mr Blifil: LOL! Didn’t he even get Clint to sing?
Governor Brad Henry, Are You a
CommunistHypnotist??My lips are flaming just reading about all of this - all of them.
I remember an AM radio station from OK City…KOMA. Used to play some good stuff.
Its time for Cheap Trick to receive the same honors in Iliinois.
I pick “Dream Police.”
kth: If I would have known there was an online vote for this, I would have totally pushed for “I Want to Sex You Up.”
Neat! I had no idea the Lips were from Oklahoma. Good for them - but when the competition is The All-American Rejects and Toby Keith, how hard could it be?
Joey Ratz:
Yeah, not too many greats came out of OK. One of the few redeeming qualities about Georgia is that an absolute shit-ton of great bands have come from here.
I’m from Oklahoma. The Flaming Lips are literally the only thing we have going for us. And yes technically Gov. Brad Henry’s a democrat but only barely, and this is pretty much the most impressive thing he has ever done. Our state legislature went GOP for the first time ever last fall and the wingnuts are actually about to pass a measure that would abolish teaching credential requirements. Because teaching credentials are totally socialist.
If only they’d dump that stupid “Home on the Range” song so “Carry On Wayward Son” could become the state anthem of Kansas. You know, in honor of all the people who moved away from Kansas and will never return. Although maybe “Dust in the Wind” is more appropriate.
Oklahoma is a cancer on the side of this country. It’s for people who think Wyoming is too liberal and Texas isn’t tacky enough. At least Utah has Park City and Idaho has Boise.
So what do we care about commies? We awready whupped them good. Exceptn for those fools down in Cuba who are sellin’ primo beachfront property to the French. And North Korea, which we whupped a half-century ago but they didn’t play fair and stay whupped. And China, which owns the USofA, including Oklahoma.
Oklahoma has both kinds of music. They got got country *and* western.
assistant/atlas: But everyone knows that bands named after places suck…
Suck It Repuglitards!
Bearbloke: Dude, what?
Boston, Chicago, Kansas, the E Street Band, the Sugarhill Gang, Bay City Rollers, Calexico, Cypress Hill, Cafe Tacuba, Linkin Park, Marcy Playground, the Manhattan Transfer, Oasis, Portishead, Rascal Flatts, Sleater-Kinney, and if we count mythical places, the Shangri-Las and Styx.
Granted, some of those bands aren’t my cup of tea, but as a purely statistical matter, some of them have to not suck.
Pop Socket: Win.
Come see majestic Oklahoma! Where you can witness such world wonders as a dude cold eatin’ bacon and gravy like it’s chips and salsa.
I’ve got a new name for the Oklahoma House: The “Flaming Assholes”
Bearbloke: Boston? Chicago? Foghat?
bago: Europe? Asia? Butthole Surfers? OK, maybe not Butthole Surfers.
Kudos to Governor Henry for approving the song anyway.
11,000 Oklahomans chose the song, and they should not have been punished because one perpetual adolescent (in this case, one of the band members) wore a symbol of horrific genocide and systemic destruction on his T-shirt as an ironically-hip fashion statement.
But I’d also like to bring some clear-eyed rationality to this discussion.
I’m from Oklahoma, so I’d ask everyone here if we can also agree that it’s high time to stop treating communist symbols as cute?
The hammer and sickle represents a boot stomping on collective humanity’s face. It represents Pitesti Prison, the disappearance of tank man in Tiananmen Square, the gulag archipelago, the torture of innocent Buddhist monks and nuns in Tibet, those summarily executed by Che Guevera in Cuba, the “Cultural Revolution” in China, the killing fields in Cambodia … and on and on and on.
Tens of millions of innocents died at the hand of dehumanizing communist regimes (interestingly, the 20th century’s decades of mayhem was predicted by the syphilitic Nietzsche, who wrote of “brotherhoods with the aim of the robbery and exploitation of the non-brothers” that would follow his vision of the future).
The hammer and sickle is a hateful symbol. Let’s have the moral courage to call it what it is. It should be every bit as repulsive to Americans as as a Confederate flag … or a Nazi swastika.
That said, I’m glad the Lips’ song is the new official state rock song of Oklahoma! It’s a great song!
bago: Suck, Suck, Suck!
BTW… the 70s called, and they want their mullet back…
Too bad the governor didn’t applaud the guy with the t-shirt. Oklahoma has a rich history as one of the most radical, rabble-rousing, socialist states in the union.
But that was before the plagues of preachers arrived, urging the folk to turn over their coins for a place in heaven. Now we just suck the rich man’s ass and go to church, praying God will remove the taste of shit from our mouths. Hallelujah.
bago: Duuuude, what kind of shitty ditchweed are you smokin; that helps you find “Foghat” on a map?
hobospacejunkie: “whenever a very long, screeching guitar solo came on the radio while mom was driving” Funny, my kids beg me to turn off The Black Keys, ect. It’s “You, you’re all about the guitar Ma” and then I have to listen to some thousand year old Nas thing they think is good for the old people.
Big Ass Belle: Amen!
Houghton: But here’s a key difference - if a band started displaying the swastika at gigs, they would get the Stormfront crowd showing up, all ready for a supremacist meet. Do you really think think a hammer and sickle is going to bring out the Stalinist crowd? Is there even a remotely threatening stalinist crowd who are stirred by that imagery? Symbols are just that: it’s their potency that counts.
Houghton: If the hammer & sickle is such a hateful symbol, used by murderous scumbags like Stalin and Mao and Pol Pot and the rest of those piles of filth who are roasting in Hell if there were such a thing - then why have the good-Godly GOP senators of Okiehomeland just stood by and allowed our government mortgage our birthright, our sovereignty and our future to the ‘godless’ ChiComs?
Houghton: Yeah, the hammer and sickle thing? It’s intended as a provocative, ironic put-on. I’m sure I can speak fr the Lips (heh) when I say they don’t actually think Stalinist USSR was real swell thing.
SpikeyDog: no way maaaaan! - K-D-I-L FM 666!!! - Rawk out witcha cock out, maaaaan!
Guys I’m making two very simple points here, let’s see if we can hold them in tension:
1. A bunch of lawmakers spitefully rejecting a pop song (the recognition of which was intended to be a fun bit of fluffery) is the height of jackassery.
2. Wearing a symbol of genocide (whether it has the power to rouse imaginary Stalinists or not) because you think it’s fun or ironic or … well, whatever … is also the height of jackassery.
I’m compartmentalizing the two, and I’m saying that if we’re intellectually honest about this, we can all agree that the hammer and sickle is a symbol of a terrible century of mayhem and should no longer be regarded as acceptable in polite company.
At the very least, walking around with a gigantic hammer and sickle emblazoned on your chest or a Che Guevera T-shirt is a sign of deep emotional immaturity, and a significant lack of historical knowledge and intellectual depth (or even the barest curiosity about past events).
That said, congrats again to the Flaming Lips.
wheelie: same thing happens at shows where the American Swastika flies…
Why does Oklahoma get a good state song? Shouldn’t it be something from the musical Oklahoma!? California is getting shown up by all the shitty states these days. Lamers.
Houghton: You get right out front there in Oklahoma abolishing the Confederate flag, and when you’re finished I’ll happily take personal responsibility to round up every last state resident who owns a hammer and sickle T-shirt.
Houghton: But wait .. isn’t complaining about jackassery an even higher height of jackassery? And besides, what’s wrong with jackassery anyway? A day without jackassery is, for me like, like a day without sunshine. If you can’t have fun with Pol Pot, then what’s the point?
Houghton:
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here–you’re at least semi-retarded right? visiting random websites concern trolling here and there?
By the way, your Nietzsche quote could be applied just as easily to any of the recent republican administrations, i.e., nixon, reagan, & shrub, and basically any society, including the US of A, in which a majority group explicitly or implicitly acts in ways that supports exploitation of whatever other groups happen to be below it. Context please. Otherwise your quote is meaningless, just like the teabaggers, or religious wingnuts, who like to invariably quote jefferson, madison, franklin in support of their batshit crazy asshattery without realizing that they come off as illiterate, homeschooled simpletons.
“or a Che Guevera T-shirt” You’ll take my Che Guevara t-shirt when you pry it from my cold dead shoulders, or words to that effect.
Wet Work: Also.
Is it really that hard to acknowledge my point? Is this a pride issue or what?
I’m not trolling. I’m making a coherent logical point, and it’s not that hard to follow for those who are at least somewhat intellectually curious individuals.
Frankly, it’s more than a little disturbing that I’m even having to argue the obvious point that Communists were/are murderous a$$holes.
The regional bias on display here is execrable. The Flaming Lips are Okies, so arguing some generalized nonsense that we’re all a bunch of hillbillies is asinine and an ad hominem attack that has nothing to do with the discussion.
And yes, I have spoken out against the Confederate flag and will continue to do so. Your point is incidental to the discussion. And yes, Che Guevera was a sociopathic f#ckstick.
Down the street from Oklahoma’s Capitol building is a thriving Asian district (which was featured in the NY Times last year as having some of the best Asian cuisine in the country) and it is filled to the brim with Vietnamese and Cambodians who fled their countries because of people who decided that if you wore eyeglasses then that marked you as an intellectual who deserved to be sent to the reeducation camps.
How do you think they feel about the hammer and sickle as a symbol of joyous frivolity?
Judas Peckerwood: WIN!
hobgoblin of little minds: If you had actually taken the time to really read what I wrote instead of racking your brain for insults, you would have seen I was making precisely your point. Nietzsche was predicting the entire sad story of the 20th century (and that includes global communism, fascism, right-wing dictatorships, etc.) But more to the point: No single ideology holds a candle to Communism’s all-time genocidal charnel house world record.
This blog makes a great point that no one has yet raised - the real problem with the vote was all of the lazy lawmakers who could have voted FOR the song, but ditched their duty: http://blog.ofrg.org/?p=515
By the way, just for accuracy’s sake, the Wonkette blogger calls Governor Henry “a liberal governor.”
Hardly. He’s the governor of a red state. How do you think he got elected? Let’s just say he wouldn’t be all that welcome in most blue-state enclaves.
Houghton: Yay Stalin! Yay Che! Yay Ho Chi Minh! Yay Fidel!
Now go away with your right-wing PC nonsense.
Houghton: “Che Guevera was a sociopathic f#ckstick.”
Yeah but Che Guevarra did not wear hammer and sickle T-Shirts like everybody in Oklahoma does.
Houghton: “No single ideology holds a candle to Communism’s all-time genocidal charnel house world record.”
except Abrahamic ideology
Lascauxcaveman: You know, I think you’re right. But that’s problem I see with it. I get the joke. I just don’t think it’s all that funny. All I can see when I look at that symbol is some poor priest being tortured at Pitesti. Sorry, that’s just me. I guess I’ve read too many history books and have too much of a sense of humanity’s tragic side — and the all-too easy banality of evil.
hobgoblin of little minds: Beautiful, eloquent and completely lost on the troll. But still, gotta hand it to ya, you have a way with the smack down. Well played.
Also.
If the state of Oklahoma were intellectually honest, their state song would be the utterly depressing “Oklahoma USA” by the Kinks.
“All life we work but work is bore,
If life’s for livin’, what’s livin’ for…”
http://www.lyricstime.com/kinks-oklahoma-u-s-a-lyrics.html
Wet Work: “right-wing PC nonsense” — That’s kind of an oxymoron. I had to snort out loud reading that one. It’s not much of an argument. I notice the replies to my plea for rationality are getting shorter, more irate, and less coherent.
Houghton: The quote from Nietzsche you decided to use here has nothing to do with your point. Either explain how it is relevant or explain why you chose to cut-and-paste it from some wingnut, religious website. Oh by the way, try using teh google before employing a quote to support your point. idiot.
Houghton: after reading the funny about every single sacred cow being made into a tasty burger, me thinks you have no funny, therefore you prolly need to take it somewhere else. Everyone’s been pretty nice so far.
Houghton: I don’t do research. Welcome to Wonkette!
Wayne Coyne rules. Oklahoma, eh, not so much.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
It’s amazing how none of these conservatards ever used a curse word. On the floor of the Senate. While telling someone to go fuck themselves. Even.
skutre: It is really disheartening to see the bigotry and animosity on display here. I haven’t been to blogs in quite awhile, and I see nothing has changed. Everyone, whether on the right or left, retreats to their comfortable corners and makes the same puerile arguments repeatedly.
Communism in the 20th Century: 100 million dead.
That’s the record.
The assumptions that are made about my political stances are quite revealing.
There is a lot of incredibly bad karma on this site. I can feel it, and I’ll leave you to it now before I get mired in it any further.
Peace and lovingkindness to you all.
hobgoblin of little minds: I actually pulled it from a well-known Tom Wolfe essay on the very point that I used it for. I hardly think of the author of Bonfire of the Vanities as a wingnut. Peace to you, hobgoblin. You obviously need some.
Houghton: Like I said, it’s intended to be provocative. You just let some airhead pop star provoke you into a display of huffing, puffing umbrage.
Congratulations!
And I pity your son when he gets his first piercing. (No, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t mean he’s gay, he’s just acting out, like a teenager.)
Jim Newell: Well, at least you’re honest about your lack of intellectual curiosity. Good night.
mush: It was the House that voted the measure down. The Senate passed it overwhelmingly. Get your facts straight.
Lascauxcaveman: Yes, heaven forbid that anyone express any moral clarity about genocide. I’m not sure what that has to do with piercings or homosexuality, though. It’s getting pretty thick in here. Peace to you, cave guy.
Houghton: Oh. pleeze. I live in Oklahoma–rural Oklahoma, that’ REAL Oklahoma to you, frieind. Face it, this state is full of ignorant douchebags. Yes, some of us, me, for instance, are good, kind, smart and libruls but face it: when every fucking county votes for Walnuts, the majority of okies are douchebags.
Right now, Brad Henry is the only thing standing between us and Armageddon. Wait ’till the Repubtards have the guv’s office, too. They’ll be a bounty on anyone with a liberal arts degree from other than a bible college.
So chill, enjoy wonkette and learn to laugh at okies. That’s what everyone else does.
Houghton is right and still should GTFO and take his Fail with him.
Intellectual laziness on the left is as annoying as it is on the right.
But most importantly when it comes to comments, this is a blog where it is mandatory that you check your brain at the login. When i come here i want to read ‘brain dead hilarity’ and ’so much win posts’ and i want to see people fighting for the ’snarkiest comment of the day’.
Teachings about what a saturated and bored rich kid asshole Che Guevara was (every educated human being knows that) simply could never compete.
SayItWithWookies: Thank goodness I decided to stay up past my bedtime. Something told me to check wonkette.
Houghton: How do you think they feel about the hammer and sickle as a symbol of joyous frivolity?
Since you ask, I don’t care how they feel about a member of the flaming lips wearing a hammer and sickle shirt.
Houghton: Right-wing PC is when you tell me that Che or the hammer/sickle are unquestionable, irredeemable one-note symbols of Evil. How shallow. As far as 100 million dead due to teh Commie-ism, I’d refer you to History, which tells us that The Cross is another murderous symbol. Would you like to add holy Jeebus to your list of f#cksticks? He was a Commie too, also.
Wet Work: Wet Work lives up to Manning’s Corollary, which says that in any online conversation about an incident of violence perpetrated by a murderous ideology, the conversation will inevitably devolve into claims that Christians commit the same type and degree of violent acts, regardless of how demonstrably false that is; further, the claim will be made that past historical violence involving Christians means that present-day Christians are morally incapable of denouncing current violence involving the murderous ideology in question.
The problem, Wet Work, is that the Inquisition and the Crusades can’t even get close to the murderous record of Communism. Not even a fraction.
Those Commies were some efficient sociopaths, for sure!
Steeevyo: Thanks. I think.
More than a few years ago there was a punk band in Battle Creek MI that had a lead singer that blew through a bugle he found a garage sale. They called themselves The Lips. His bugle playing sucked but they rocked anyway.
donner_froh: “I don’t care how they feel” … And there it is… Nihilistic honesty! You are commended for openly displaying your unvarnished malice! The first honest commenter to respond to me.
Steeevyo: And I will now GTFO. Really. Won’t let the door hit my behind or anything, promise.
Jim Newell: Brad Henry’s election was one of the flukiest things ever. He beat Steve Largent by a mere 6,000 votes. That was after a third party candidate promised to do away with all state taxes and turnpike tolls and pay for everything with a lottery. He siphoned a chunk of the crazy vote from Largent. The Chickasaws (or the Choctaws, I confuse them) claimed it was their massive voter registration drive.
Steve Largent said bullshit on a radio show when he thought the mike was off, deflating some enthusiasm on the Christian’s part. Plus, Barry Switzer campaigned tirelessly with Brad Henry. But the biggest factor of all was–wait for it–
Chicken fighters! To appease the panty-waist rich wingers in Tulsa, Largent had to come out for amno chicken-fighting bill so heavy-handed it was just short of a capital offense to make chickens fight and Brad said well, the penalty’s a little harsh. For that, the rednecks in Little Dixie voted for the Democrat. My hand to god: Brad carried every county that voted to keep chickens fighting, except for Major county in western Oklahoma that wanted their Republican and a dead chicken in every arena, too.
Brad Henry’s vetoed a draconian anti-abortion bill, appointed an openly gay man and many other good things.
Oklahoma is an inherently funny state. The problem is that most okies don’t get the joke.
DustBowlBlues: I meant to say appointed an openly gay man to state office. He lost in the election though because the Republicans took out big ads about Roth being gay. Nothing about his record, of course. He lost just because he was gay. And that proves that okies are dumbshits.
Houghton: See that was also a joke. I do do research, when I have a factual claim to make! But “liberal Democrat governor” and “Democratic communist” are both jokes. Would referring to him as a “moderate-to-conservative Democrat” be what you call “intellectual curiosity”? It doesn’t take a very curious mind to realize that ironic Che or hammer/sickle shirts are dumb — you don’t need to go on political comedy blogs to lecture everyone about your freshman history class topic, “How Various Communist Regimes Did Not Have Good Human Rights Records.” Mao killed a lot of people?? My stars! You’re banned.
Houghton:
You’ve been getting out for the last ten posts.
Steeevyo: “what a saturated and bored rich kid asshole Che Guevara was” Now that’s intellectual laziness. Is he a Symbol of Evil or just a human rich kid asshole? Houghton wants to ban Che for Evildoing, and you want to dismiss him as a brat. I say he’s earned his place in our culture as a multi-dimensional reference point and is irreplaceable. If Che didn’t exist he’d need to be invented, and thus he was. Don’t try to strip words out of our language with such lame reasoning.
Houghton: NO! Don’t leave us! The light from my burning commie t-shirt covers me with the glow of pure love. The smell, it reeks of vanity. At last, i am free of morally questionable clothing!
Ambiguity Be Gone!…Gaia, i am yours!
Big Ass Belle: Amen. And please add the asshole Gaylord family that has worked since statehood to drag this state back into the stone age. Fuck the Gaylords and the Oklahoman.
And also: Woody Gutherie’s heritage and Red Dirt Music. The state that once declared war on Texas and had the National Guard lined up at the Red River, ready to shoot. And a state that calls the watermelon the official state vegetable. What’s not to love?
And as for all the Texans beating up on us, pleeze. It isn’t easy, living on top of the biggest bunch of blow-hards in the nation.
If there’s a dirty joke last one, you’re going to have find it for me, because I’m going to bed.
Steeevyo: BTW, nothing personal.
I’m so glad that there is finally a full-fledged Okie discussion on my favorite interwebz page Teh Wonkettz. I have the distinct pleasure of having grown up in cosmopolitan Northeastern Oklahoma where my family doctor had a “Get Us Out of the U.N.” sign in his front yard and is now a state representative who wants to put the ten commandments on the capitol lawn (http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=11&articleid=20090424_12_A1_Thelaw595506&allcom=1). Oklahoma has always been a very weird state politically almost always voting for Republicans at the federal level but voting for Democrats at the state level. Fortunately, I was able to flee Oklahoma and move to the new gay-socialist-muslin electing paradise that is Iowa. Now stories like these make me laugh instead of giving me a sad.
Houghton: O.K. I’m semi-wasted; my hockey team and baseball team lost tonight; I couldn’t give a shit about OK, or Laming Flips or your alleged cut and paste habits. I do know, however, the Nazis had some of the coolest uniforms, logos, corporate killer, identity, ever. I’m also convinced that many lamers (read: most consumers) buy into “image” before they buy into “ideology”. I think that might be what happened here with the dude and the hammer ‘n’ sickle shirt.
Ever see a 70’s punk band wearing a Brady’s Bunch tee? I think it’s called “irony”; a concept the righties have not yet grasped.
Furthermore, this is Wonkette. Be dull at your own risk.
Wet Work:
Some call him multi dimensional reference point i call him asswipe.
But everyone is entitled to their own op ….ahhh crap!
Houghton: In the sorta famous words from the ancient scrolls of teabagging yore:
‘nom nom nom nom nom nom’
Houghton: I asked around. Nobody likes you very much. Mmkay? And we don’t do “clear-eyed rationality” around here. Also.
Houghton: I like how you say “goodnight” and then stick around another hour. I do that too….when I want pity sex.
Jim Newell: Noooo.. let us play with him a little more. Come on now; it was starting to get good. Jaba threw in a “nom nom nom”. Bitchincamaro just showed up and we haven’t even heard from the shorts or various tunas yet.
Houghton: FWIW, you do realize this isn’t the place for “logic” and “compartmentalizing,” right?
Also, hammers and sickles have been worn, as you brought up earlier, in an ironic fashion, since even while the cold war was still going on. You can also get ‘em on your panties, too, should you so desire: http://www.hammersicklestuff.com/index.php?navarea=Underwear
Houghton: “violence perpetrated by a murderous ideology” FAIL. Did you read Marx or did someone tell you he’s a bad man and so you burned the book? Marx doesn’t advocate genocide at any point, but then neither does Jeebus, so you can park your Manning’s Corollary redirect: the analogy holds. Declaiming on the subject of Murkin Ideological Righteousness during National Torture Week is quite hilarious, thanks for teh laffs.
KTHXBAI: There are 4 square blocks of Pocatello that also rival Boise in blueness. ALso
So when we saaaaaaay. Ay yip ay oh ay aaaaaaa! We’re only sayin’ you’re doin’ fine Oklahoma! Oklahoma OK!
Must really piss off the red necks to know their state gets sung about every night in gay piano bars around the world. I’m surprised they haven’t hung Rogers and Hammerstein in effigy.
Well, Houghton seems to have left, but Jim said much of what I was going to say, only better.
OK state legislature seems to have this habit of getting all riled up about dipshit stuff (frequently based around their own idiocy), and it’s *really* *really* *funny*, at least when it’s not sad.
Witness, for instance, the Richard Dawkins affair back on Darwin day… Well documented at
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/
if you go back through the archives. It was funny. People made fun of Oklahoma and/or the legislators. Wonkette is far more irreverent. When this sort of thing comes up, as it seems to a lot these days, between the batshit-crazy political climate and all the conflicts between religion, gay rights, science education, and the like, it can be all of funny, sad, and something in need of addressing.
What the no doubt naively idiotic band member was wearing in particular was, to my mind, almost incidental to the amusement value of the event. Had I my druthers, I would have preferred it to be something promoting atheism, which would no doubt have provoked similar bluster and been more appropriately applicable to constitutional standards. But we don’t always get the perfect jokes (or perfect legal test cases) served up to us and have to make do.
p.s. When you referenced whatever that principle was that I’ve never heard of, you should have been more careful, because you were the one who made the category definition and said that communism was the “largest” yet you reject permitting a comparison a comparison based on particular religion(s). Just sayin’.
WTF? Did the wingnuts in complete desperation really dig up Ronnie Reagan? I’m waiting for the oh so tedious STAR WARS lecture. This says a lot about wingnuts being so entrenched in the past, which keeps this country so far behind. It also speaks volumes for Prez’s mantra about moving forward. The dichotomy is glaring.
Oklahoma do me proud: Fuck the Gaylords.
“Fortunately brave Democratic communist Gov. Brad Henry.” Um, er, aren’t they the ‘Democrat Socialist’ Party now?
Wet Work: You’re referring to National Torture AWARENESS Week, right?
Um, er, aren’t they the ‘Democrat Socialist’ Party now?
Only after they become the ‘Republic Fascist’ Party.
I have high hopes that one day bloodthirsty manson-esque commie hippie band Spoon from Austin will win the Official Texas rock song. Of course, we’ll be a republic and Houston will be the capital.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXyKveeE32U
DustBowlBlues: Yay! Alright, going to bed before I pass out.
“…it is filled to the brim with Vietnamese and Cambodians who fled their countries because of people who decided that if you wore eyeglasses then that marked you as an intellectual who deserved to be sent to the reeducation camps”
Just to belabor the point, this particular remark is totally inaccurate and confuses two very distinct countries and situations, neither of which is correctly referred to by Mr. Houghton, whose knowledge about other issues seems to be equally approximate.
Houghton: If I have a band that gets one of its more popular tunes selected as a state song, I promise to wear the Romanov Imperial Double Eagle on a novelty tee, for balance, aight?
if the Flaming Lips would do a version of “Take Me Back to Tulsa,” the problem would be solved.
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Don’t Wayne and the Lips realize, advancing heliocentrism in Oklahoma is punishable by death?
FTW Nicholas of Cusa RAWKS!1!!!:
“Thus the fabric of the world (machina mundi) will quasi have its center everywhere and circumference nowhere”
I nominate “Mourning Glory” by Ween (New Hope, Penna) as the Keystone State state song…
grandcooliedamn: Just don’t wear jack $h!t from the Ottoman Empire. Barry just got that Armenian thing worked out.
I do not approve at all of these ‘Flaming Lips’ and their double-entendre name. The name of the band itself should be rated R at least. And from what I hear (from Al Gore’s wife) some of their ’songs’ are rather filthy as well. For this to represent the great southern state of Oklahoma is simply something up with which I will not put. Good morning & you’re welcome.
Wet Work: “FAIL” “Jeebus” “teh laffs”
Does an original thought ever pass through your mind, or do you just ape cliched blog-comment-doublespeak?
“To the sentimentalist slogans of brotherhood which are here offered us in the name of the counterrevolutionary nations of Europe, we reply that hatred of Russia was and still is the first revolutionary passion of the Germans; that since the Revolution, hatred of the Czechs and Croats has been added to it, and that we, along with the Poles and Magyars, will only be able to secure the Revolution through the most determined terror against these Slavic peoples. . . Then it’s war. ‘A ceaseless fight to the death’ with Slavdom, which betrays the Revolution, a battle of annihilation and ruthless terrorism — not in the interests of Germany, but of the Revolution.” ~Karl Marx
Houghton: Well fuck me with a spoon. This whole time I thought Marx was a pacifist. Shit. I will now haz a sad (you see what I did there with the aping and the cliched?) every time I wear my Red Army jacket. Can I still wear it if I promise to not kill a Slav?
Spend all night maniacally googling Marx quotes again?
But you’re right; the aforementioned analogy holds no water. For example, Martin Luther never preached violence against Jews. Oh he may have said “their synagogues be burned down” and “they must be driven from our country” but I’m sure he was just kidding. That’s why Christians have never been violent, ever, towards anyone. They’re well-known for the keen sense of irony and fair-play. Also.
I thought Jim banned Houghton. What a buzzkill…yes, murdering people bad; not murdering people good. Happy now? Can we go back to crapping on the crappiest state in the union now without the lecture?? Jesus!
Texan Bulldoggette: As long as you’re aware Texas is redeemed only by the existence of Austin. And better music. And Mexican food. Okay you’re right; Oklahoma is an unredeemable shithole.
Of course, we can all guess the official C&W song: “Okie from Muskogie”!
Zhu Bajie
Big Ass Belle: Now it is the world center of Fundamentalism!
Zhu Bajie
Houghton: Ooh, attack me next, Mr. Super Original Po-faced Cut & Paster!!
WTF is original about any of the self-lubricating quotes and stats you continue to post here in lieu of using your atrophied brain to do the one thing required of all posters, Marx-worshipper & teabagger alike? Of course I speak of the utter lack of humor or processed pasteurized humor-like substances in your pointless & annoying posts of FAIL.
Get funny or GTFO you donkey-raping shit-eater. And go fuck yourself also. After your daily dalliance with your sister/mother (have they told you yet she’s both?) And try fucking her someplace other than her ear and cumming someplace other than her hair. Also. And also.
Jim, thanks for banning Houghton. Man, he was getting tedious…
And Oklahoma is OK. I’m just sayin’…
Houghton: Fake Marx quote. So much for “intellectual curiosity”, ya messer!
Houghton: Shit-faced cockmaster says what?
hobospacejunkie: The Rage! The Rage! Where’s your sense of humor now, hobo space person? Heck, I even got under Mr. Funny Man Jim’s skin as well, with a throwaway line about his lack of intellectual curiosity. That comedy thing only goes so far, I guess. Have a great weekend!
isn’t today concern troll day? how’s your relationship, substance abuse, kitty, etc?
buttsecks
oh and let’s not forget… hot for nursie, also
Houghton: My shoes hurt too, Houghton. My shoes hurt, too.
Houghton: Your ‘Marx’ quote is actually Engels. Different Commie. Excuse me while I haz a public laff at your expense. If you had actually READ Marx, you would know that he was a fairly intelligent (if optimistic) fellow, who thought that he could help humanity by encouraging it to rein in its more selfish impulses for the betterment of all. Jus like Jeebus.
Please understand that the use of teh slangz and catchphrases signifies *irony*, an additional layer of expression sensible to teh literate among us. You’ll take away my irony when you take away my Che Guevara t-shirt, which is to say when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. You whine about the Pol Pots of the world and then you behave just like them. Keep your mitts off my language.
I’m gonna hit the dustry trail for the day ladies and germs. Carry on with funnies while I take in the vistas. I’ll be thinking of you.
http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/birdytrail.jpg
…giddyup.
Houghton:
Okay, so I’m late to the party, what else is new? Also, this may have been said already etc., etc…
Just in case you’re lurking out there; Houghton, are you suggesting the United States has no history of engaging in genocide and oppression? By your logic, if we are to suppress a SYMBOL because its history is linked with murder and the subjugation of innocents, then Goddammit, let’s burn all the fucking flags. We might as well start with the Stars and Stripes.
For all the “evil it represents”, commie iconography is pleasing to the eye esthetically speaking, and the modern uses of it I’ve noticed, e.g. Shepard Fairey, Killdozer have been satirical and ironic.
102415: That happens to me when driving around with younger friends, but with this twist: When the guitars start, all the “kids” start whining, “Eeeuwww! *GUITAR*! ICK!”, and then slap something technoid into the CD player, quick, to get the sound of those damned guitars out of their ears and replace it with the sound of good clean electronic thumps and gurgles and farts and mosquito whines.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
But I still loves me a nice clean guitar solo.
Wet Work: I understand irony. I just think it’s highly overrated, or at least that we’ve had an overdose of it in current American society. I also think sites like Wonkette can suck it.
You’re right about the quote. See? I can admit when I’m wrong. I don’t get all weird and half-crazed and whip off the Wonkette irony mask to snarl a bunch of expletives.
I think “the funny” here is only skin-deep and veils a lot of boiling resentment and rage. And I think your language is boring and has already become a cliche on the teh Internets — which is why I attempt to write in coherent sentences.
Anyway, Marx and Engels were good buddies, I think. I can’t find a single reference to Marx having disavowed this writing, which appeared in a publication the two wrote for.
Marx intelligent? Actually I’d go furhter than that: He was a genius and a utopianist. That doesn’t mean he was right. His ideology formed the basis for human misery on a scale never seen.
I’m not interested in taking away your Che T-shirt. It’s a free country, and you are welcome to engage in asshattery (another Internet cliche). ZOMG! LOL!
As a matter of fact, wear that thing every day. It’ll help us all identify you as a moral idiot.
Jackasses - they walk among us!
As to my original points: It was idiotic and hurtful for the OK House to vote down the Lips song. It is also idiotic and hurtful to blithely wear a symbol of genocide as a fashion statement.
Seriously, it’s not that complicated.
Garyosu: I grew up in Iowa and thought it a slightly intolerant place. I was very wrong. I’ve spent the last four years in college in Louisiana, and either Iowa has changed while I’ve been gone - Bruce Braley, Dave Loebsack, Obama’s wins in the caucuses and general, and now gay marriage (?!) - or I was wrong all along. Allamakee County, a stronghold of the Klan in the 1920s and until recently one of the most Republican counties in the state, went 54% for Obama.
Iowa is paradise.
Garyosu: Make that 56%. Hot damn.
Jim,
I’m sorry. I never should have doubted you. I don’t know what came over me. I have seen the error of my ways. Boring is the evil and must be burned at the stake….or banned.
Jesus Christ! This is a comedy blog, man. No one reads this site for a fucking political science seminar, they read it because laughing about the *outrageousness* of what passes for political discourse in this country is a way of blowing off steam.
Moreover, I think it’s fairly obvious that neither Jim nor the vast majority of commenters on here are advocates of state communism. So what is the fucking point of this earnest debate? To get everyone to stop wearing Che t-shirts? I don’t want to defend Che or hammer and sickle t-shirts, which I think are often naive at best, but your grasp of political symbolism is totally reductive–the meaning of political symbols shifts depending on not only their history, but their context and the uses to which they’re put. Should we indict every instance of someone wearing or displaying the American flag as an endorsement of slavery, or the genocide and expropriation of indigenous peoples? Do you go around yelling at flag-wavers in Oklahoma for supporting the trail of tears? Or, to invoke more recent history, for endorsing the U.S.’s propping up right-wing military dictators in Latin America (look into what happened in Central America in the 80s) or for torturing people or detaining them indefinitely without trial? No? Why not?
Houghton: Not sure what your complaint is with irony (overrated?, as it’s kind of like verbs and Che Guevara t-shirts: a vehicle for communicating ideas. Personally, I don’t limit myself to having only Morally Correct ideas. Ideas, like words, gain significance only in the context in which they’re used.
Marx/Engels, Jeebus/Judas, Obama/Ayers, good buddies all. So what’s your point? Marx didn’t say it but you can’t find a quote of him denouncing it, therefore he might as well have said it? Not really.
Please get over your Morally Correct/Incorrect approach to expression and thought as it guarantees lame fails in the Real World, for example the shallow self-righteousness you display in this thread. You might even get taken seriously, but then I’m an optimist too.
Houghton: I think I can help. You’ll find the road to clear eyed rationality goes within the cheeks of my azz as I sit on your face. Then all things will be explained. I have towels if you need.
Tron Stuart Mill: See now he’s got you spinning your wheels, which is a fail. This person is the kind of dude who has contemplated masturbating but is scared by the feelings that arise whenever he considers touching himself “down there.” Excess verbiage for this character is nothing more than an erection substitute. Once he figures out that having erections will not result in the instantaneous death of his mother, he’ll calm down.
Damn! I missed a fightin’ troll? The funny thing is I kind of agree with him - those shirts are played-out and retarded. Sid Vicious was known for wearing swastikas and USSR gear and I think we can all stop with him. I’m so fucking liberal I have an aversion to wearing shirts with a corporate logo or message. But still! Trolls? Can we please get avatars and TRY to bring some buttsecks and trucknutz to the discussion?
That said: The Flaming Lips are a pretty fucking great band.
Soooo … anyhoo …
Okie embraces the Flaming Lisp? Can gay marrying be far off?
Houghton: You still don’t get it. This is a political satire site. Say what you will, you unfunny dog fucking ball-licker, but you’ll be banned whenever our editors wake up if you don’t stop being tediously dull. In the meantime, why don’t you enjoy a large bag of dicks while you’re masturbating into your own feces. And take a moment between tastes of your own semen/feces to reflect upon how you came (heh) to your present circumstances, dependent upon your own mother/sister for sexual gratification, and her charity for the lonely basement which you call home. And treasure this interaction because it is apparent that you are being ignored by most of Wonkette, who, unkike me, skip right over the unhinged rantings of donkey fuckers like you. And by the way, could you tell another desperate, incoherent story showcasing your genuis for misquotes? I’m having difficulty sleeping and your lies, hypocrisy & verbal skidmarks put me to sleep. Also you are a homo. Also.
hobospacejunkie: you said “unkike” and that is racist in communist China and I bet you even have “unkike” on your t-shirt. dick. also.
Houghton: Coherent and logical? Down the hall, on the left.
Tron Stuart Mill: I’m so sorry.
It must suck living life as a fat, bitter, angry person. I know that having “Nobama” as president with a dog named “Bo” doesn’t really help much.
Now ,if you excuse me, I’m going to engage in some sexual fucking then do some bong hits. Hang in there , tiger!
bago: Fuck the Gaylords? I try, everyday. In my life–61 years in OK minus 25 or so in Seattle–I have never bought their piece of shit paper. When an old friend was visiting, he actually bought one while the three of us who live here were screaming. “Don’t buy that fascist piece of shit.”
meyotch: Four square blocks of Boise blue? Ha. I’ve got 90 acres of blue. All my own property, of course, and inhabited only by my liberal family, but still. And our United Methodist church is purple, at least.
Houghton: You’re not wrong, Houghton. You’re just an asshole. Also, you’re wrong. The body count racked up by communism pales in comparison to that of capitalism, Christianity, or Western imperialism, for the record. Christopher Columbus has for more blood on his hands than Marx or Engels.
And your misguided earnestness has devolved into little more than petty trolling, so I’d suggest changing subjects or retiring.
DustBowlBlues: Wait a minute… a liberal in Boise? GODSPEED to you.
Houghton: I am glad that we live in a free country, but than I see what you have said, there. Now I want something like the gestapo to re-educate us all.
In fact, because of you, Houghton, it’s very clear at this point that we should eliminate freedom of speech. After all, freedom of speech is not only burdensome, but impractical. You see, what you somehow typed onto that computer of yours (in your mother’s basement) is the definitive reason why the Bill of Rights should no longer apply. If I were your overlord, I would send you to Siberia. That is obviously where you fascist subverters deserve to go.
WAKE UP AMERICA. BAN FREEDOM OF SPEECH. AND IRONY TOO. FUCK IRONY.
Oh and Houghton, be sure to check out the Conservative website http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com. We are all on the same page that Wonkette shouldn’t exist, because it is also exercising freedom of speech. And if you would like to make a hateful comment over there, nobody will judge you!
And what’s with torture? Can’t we have MORE torture. Fucking liberals.
Houghton: Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
I love it here. But then, I love irony and laughter. The state flower is a parasite, the state tree a shrub, “Oklahoma” (which kicks ass and everyone stands and claps and sings at public events, the only moment liberals in this great state can blend with the super-Christians without being called satan) was the state song for years before the Rodgers and Hammerstein estate pointed out that, well, you know, you really ought to get the rights to it. (They gave it to us for a buck a year). And those were the things they chose in the olden days.
Now, we have a cool state rock song (which gave people had a very good time with the online voting) and the satisfaction of knowing it pains the winger. Our state vegetable is watermelon.
The first wave of settlers were forced here, literally, at gun point. The next wave were the losers who didn’t have a pot to piss in then entered the greatest horse races in history to get a little piece of this place. The locals claim hard work is how you get along in life but nobody believes it. You can build a lovely life and lose everything in a tornado though your neighbor doesn’t suffer anything but gathering up their lawn furniture from their neigbors’ backyards.
Okies, at heart, are fatalists. if grandpappy happened to put that stake in the ground and black shit came up, you got rich. If he got dirt, so did you. A guy the highway from me as been blow away three times. First time he rebuilt, he was about to move in when a tornado got him again. He’s rebuilt yet again, a house with almost no window. Why bother? They just get blown out, anyway.
And we will remain ignorant and become moreso because the Republicans in the legislature scare away anyone who might be thinking hey, Tulsa is one of the most livable cities in America and land is cheap. But fuck, those people are crazy.
Having said that, please remember that toothless, semi-literate rednecks have feelings too. Fuck ya’ll for talking shit about my little state. Pick on someone your own size, California and Texas.
iowabosox: It’s nice to know that RS Nation extends to all corners of the Earth, including Iowa. I had to shut off the game last night because the kids would not stay asleep. Thank goodness for Jason Bay.
On topic - “With as many outstanding rock artists as we have in Oklahoma, it was time to recognize this music as well,” said Schulz, R-Altus. That’s just a bit of a back-handed compliment……
shortsshortsshorts: No shorts, 90 acres of blue Oklahoma. Commie/socialist/fascist/muslim/whateverthe wingers areusingnow Oklahoma, where the wind is sweeping down the fucking plain about 40 miles an hour and I’m trying to garden.
Does god just hate us?
El Pinche: Maybe if you let me teabag you, it would make me feel better.
Houghton: the fuck he doesn’t
Houghton: Long thread, eloquently argued.
While you make some good points, I think you’re confusing cause and effect. For example, the imperial regimes that preceded Communism in both Russia and China were equally murderous. So, while Communist regimes were among the most murderous in the (last part)of the 20th century, the earlier, monarchical, empire-based political systems were perfectly capable of slaughtering innocents before Marx or Lenin’s bulb ever popped on (and the warfare tech got better, upping the numbers). And then there’s Hitler…Mussolini (a genocidal aspirant at least).
Stalin, geez, I mean, Stalinsm was kinda like paranoiac Husseinist Bathism ‘done up right.’ There was no system. There was no central planning. It was all strong-arm and fear.
Don’t forget Africa in your analysis, which often gets left out of this equation because -to us- millions of dead all too often sound like another just Saturday night on the dark continent. Rwandan Hutus were communist? The Janjaweed militia is communist? In SE Asia, the Myanmar regime is mostly military junta.
So….good debating, but hardly proof of some overarching evil linked directly to communism as an economic or social system. In fact, I’d argue that genocidal repression is probably more linked to culture and cult-of-personality eruptions.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with collectivism and government control of key industries. Besides, democracy, capitalism, socialism, communism, and fascism always come in blended form. There are no single malts here. So all the pseudo-religious government dogma, whether it’s Italian anarchy, Maoist revolution, or star-spangled God-blessed Galtism, is really kinda retarded.
Kev-O-Tron: Jews of the world unkike! You have nothing to lose but our slurs!
Houghton: What the *hell* are you doing here, still, ruining this thread? It looks like you will have to be SUPERBANNED.
RE: naive t-shirts…
My ex-girlfriend bought this god awful t-shirt that was a Che shirt with Obama’s face. She wore this proudly during the campaign season and I never understood why she would want to equate the man with a communist. I’m not totally familiar with the story of Che but I always thought it was a stupid shirt. Now I understand that she’s not nearly as bright as she thinks.
Jim Newell: You just roll out of bed Newell? I tried to tell him about the buttsex and trucknutz but he won’t fucking listen.
Jim Newell: Thank you, Wonkette Overlord. He never even tried to be funny. The nerve!
Kev-O-Tron: Actually, if you look back at the footage of Che’s speech to the UN in 1964, he’s totally using a teleprompter. Coincidence?
Kev-O-Tron: Truck Nutz should be banned because they are plastic testicles for Truckz which represent real testicles for humans which produce testosterone which causes aggression which has led millions of commies (MEN) everywhere to murder millions of people in such places as China and various Mexicos, “but congratulations to the Flaming Lips.”
Jim Newell: I AM FAKT CHECKING DAT.
hobospacejunkie: why don’t you enjoy a large bag of dicks while you’re masturbating into your own feces.
Thank you Hobo, that was one of the most beautiful takedowns I’ve ever seen on teh interwebs.
DustBowlBlues: “Woody Gutherie’s heritage and Red Dirt Music. The state that once declared war on Texas and had the National Guard lined up at the Red River, ready to shoot. And a state that calls the watermelon the official state vegetable.”
Okay, I’ll count all those things in Okiehomeland’s favor the next time I’m saying something mean & snarky about those hicks…
Advocatus_Diaboli: “that was one of the most beautiful takedowns I’ve ever seen on teh interwebs.”
That was a takedown???? Fuck. Now I feel really stupid sitting here with my bag of dicks next to a pile of shit.
anabellum: ah yes! One of my favorite tunes from back-in-tha-day: “Sheep Farming In The Falklands” by Crass - ENJOY, suxorz!
El Pinche: Don’t think for a second that those pissy queens in Dallas won’t fight you tooth-&-nail to be the Capital of the Sovereign Holy Christian Republic of Texistan!
So either I pressed the delete button, or I’ve had my very first censored post. Being that I have problems with short-term memory loss (I’ve already forgotten what my post said), it most certainly could be the former. If not:
that’s once.
I never like to go back to a bar where I’ve been cut off.
OT but Bea Arthur (Golden Girls, Maude) has died at 86. I’ll miss that tough old broad.
Texan Bulldoggette: Me too. My favorite line from Maude (I had to look it up to get it right) was:
“Walter, if you lay one hand on that kid then all your friends will be dressed in black and driving with their lights on.”
Hey guys - did you know that you’re not allowed to say the word H——n ( I can’t say it because it won’t post, but it’s the first name of a publishing company who’s last name is Mifflin).
Tron Stuart Mill: You finally got the memo on the what teabagging means. Good for you!
I think I’ve been censored. Where be my post?
irisheyesagain: You said the ‘H’ word - didn’t you.
Advocatus_Diaboli: Thank you. You’re very kind.
Custerwolf: Can I buy a vowel? I wanna know the naughty word! I thought I knew them all.
My post was censored because I used a user name?
Kev-O-Tron: It’s the name of the guy that Jim banned. He’s using the techno-lazy-man’s way of making sure the dude stays outta here, I’m assuming. Anyway google Mifflin and the H-word that comes before it will give you the answer.
I used to own a red, hammer-and-sickle t-shirt (it wore out). I bought it in Ukraine while serving on military duty. Stick that in your irony detector and smoke it.
Kev-O-Tron: At this point I lump Che t-shirts in with Grateful Dead and Bob Marley tees, in that they are already self-satirizing. Call me lazy, but they do save time and effort. That said, I too was chagrined/embarrassed/appalled at Shep Fairey’s campy Obamaphancy. But then he won, so whatever.
Custerwolf: or let’s see if this works: Houg-ton.
I guess the best way for a troll to get us all to shut the fuck up is to create a user name that contains the most commonly used words in the English language.
Custerwolf: oops - did I just say that out loud?
El Pinche: It means Ron Paul gets to be president now, right?
H-man, who translated your Engel’s quote? Sarah Palin? I’m surprised it didn’t end in “don’t ya know” or “also”. Engels was criticizing the revolutionaries in Germany for hating on the Russians and the Czechs and the Croats. He was criticizing them for advocating a total war of annihilation against the Slavs. His idea was that the revolution in Germany (and elsewhere) had been hijacked by nationalists. Engels wasn’t advocating a war. He was saying that war was the enemy of the revolution. I know, I know, what a retard! The Germans would never be tricked into supporting a nationalist war of annihilation against the Slavs! That would be crazy! It would be like poor Okies or Alaskans voting for demagogues whose agendas would make those poor Okies and Alaskans (Oki-askans?) poorer. Don’t ya know?
Custerwolf: “AAAGH!! HE SAID IT AGAIN!!!
The troll who-must-not-be-named was active here for 18 hours… is that some sorta record?
Texan Bulldoggette: Oklahoma is my Canada.
Bearbloke: !!
Texan Bulldoggette: & Custerwolf: I agree about Bea Arthur (aka Bernice Frankel). A great specimen of the native New Yorker, liberal variety. I’ll bet she could sing “Oklahoma,” too. Without irony.
I grew up on Lake Eufaula in OK. Used to “drag main” with J.C. Watts, and Dan Kirby (R-OK). Those were the days: Smoking weed, drinking like fish, getting laid…. Like it’s past tense and all…lol
NoSoupForYou: J.C. Watts? The Meathead congressman who had a stick up his ass that had a stick up its ass? That guy useta have fun like a… a … human? I call bullshit - provide pictures and other evidence.
Advocatus_Diaboli: Seconded.
Bea Arthur Trivia: She was originally a stage actress who got her start in teevee (”All In the Family”) just to appease her buddy Norman Lear who wouldn’t STFU about her trying out for a part on his show.
I have no idea why I know that.
Good things about Oklahoma::
1. Woody Guthrie, played by David Carradine in “Bound for Glory,” Hal Ashby’s best film ever.
2. Fred Harris, who ran for prezndent in 1976 but lost, and said, “I had the support of the little people, but they couldn’t reach the voting levers.”
3. It’s the first green you see driving west to east on Route 66 or I-40: lush rolling oak-hickory hills. Very nice, relaxing to the sun-baked eyes.
That is all.
Houghton
See, it works still.
Custerwolf: We do not censor comments, except in extremely rare cases, like if you’re leaking a CIA agent’s name. People are still into that!
Did you have two or more links in your comment? those are filtered out automatically, for terrible reasons that only Hungarians understand.
Jim Newell: It’s a Slav conspiracy, you’re saying. You’re a regular Friedrich Engels.
More Bea Arthur trivia:
She attended the opening night of Oklahoma. The state, not the musical.
Texan Bulldoggette: People don’t kick buckets…cows do. And it was all because of this one time sven gustavson…..
Jim Newell: There was that one time you filtered out that comment I made about Sarah Palin, but I guess that wasn’t a very appropriate comment, so whatever.
wheelie: It is proven at this point that WE ARE SUBJECT TO A TUSKEGEE EXPERIMENT OF SOME KIND, but it’s fun. YAY.
Jim Newell: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I count myself a part of the wonkeratti. According to his pictures, Jim is only 16 or so years old, but he can flat lay out the parallel ridiculous drivel to the crap whatsit’s been pumping out for two days.
On the other hand Jim, why so long to ban this guy? And what is a superban? Are you not even allowed to read the hateful shit people are writing about you? Or your screen shows ONLY the shit they’re saying about you, and you can’t talk back!!
wonkette’s mutiple rings of hell.
try living in mexico with all the teabagging swine having buttsec with birds and shit. used to be u just had to worry about getting your head chopped off. not anymore. wonkette vacination station vacation. mas cervezas pronto por favor!
sanantonerose: “Oklahoma is my Canada.”
I can’t believe you said that. I get along wonderfully with my Canadian friends because I understand what it’s like to live on top of a bunch of obnoxious, bragging people who are clueless about what dicks they are.
No offense, bulldoggette.
shortsshortsshorts: Sweet mother of god, shorts: What could you have possibly said about Bible Spice worse than what was posted? I shudder to think of the vile epithets floating around in the evil brain of yours.
Jim Newell: Quoth Bob Somerby:
You see, the typical scrotum includes two testicles.
This is the kind of quality reporting we need media critics like Bob Somerby for. What kind of an openly homosexual do you have to be to not realize it?
What is this? J.C. Watts?
Deus Ex called, it wants it’s machina back.
Tron Stuart Mill: WRONG AGAIN.
Dickless Armey/Palin 2012 !!
I can’t believe Wonkette just got trolled by Karl Rove. Or is there another college drop out would quote Nietzsche by way of Tom Wolfe to prove that Communism was just. the. worst.
NoSoupForYou: “I grew up on Lake Eufaula in OK. Used to “drag main” with J.C. Watts, and Dan Kirby (R-OK).”
I used to drag main with JC Watts behind the car.
There…all fixed for ya!
DustBowlBlues: “No offense, bulldoggette.” Well, thank you for excluding me from the ‘obnoxious, bragging people who are clueless about what dicks they are.’ (Actually I know I can be a female dick…so no offense taken!)
As a proud Oklahoman, I really am offended by some of your comments. Honestly, we are not all knuckle draggers here.
Yes, it’s true that Oklahoma has predominantly freaks as politicians, but does that make us different than any other state? Before you judge Oklahoma by the idiots who represent it, let’s look at the winners other states, Louisiana - Bobby Jindal (Hindu Mr. Rogers?) and David Vitter (Diaper Boy); Kansas had a senator that sued God; New Jersey - most of their governors; Illinois - see New Jersey; and even New York - Guiliani (cross-dressing, adulterating Republican), Eliot Spitzer (call girls, muppet face), well the list goes on.
Before you paint us with the same brush as the small minority of bible-thumping, crazy windbags, look at your own mayors, legislators and governors. I think you’ll find we’re all in the same sad boat.
plastigirl: Are you the same person, over and over again?
Texan Bulldoggette: A little private eye on the side then?
nice work if you can get it.
plastigirl: With comment #231 you attempt to defend the honor of your home state, Oklahoma. Good for you and well done. However, you’re a little late to the party, sweet tits. The verdict is unanimous. Oklahoma sucks eight ways to Sunday and on Sundays Oklahoma is blowing the altar boys in the sacristy. But by all means, continue to defend Okieland. We’ll take Dust Bowl Blues and the rest of you can walk your own Trail of Tears.
Nothing personal, mind.
plastigirl: this will not end well for you
El Pinche: Well, I suppose a Dickless Armey/Palin ticket can count on the PUMAs’ support.
plastigirl: “the small minority of bible-thumping, crazy windbags” Uhh…every fucking county in OK voted for Walnuts; it’s the only state in the Union where that occurred. You must have meant that the semi-sane, moderates are the small minority…otherwise I want some of what you’re drinking/smoking.
I was raised in a small town in OK (about 10 miles from where Rep. Corey Holland is from). There’s not a sane, clear-thinking, non-racist bunch in that whole area. Why the hell do you think I live in TX now?
shortsshortsshorts: I remember when you got banned. It was a massive controversy! Didn’t you insult the size of the snowbilly’s birth canal or something?
CONGRADULASIONS FLAMINGLIPS, I enjoyed your christ mass on mars documentary
druranium: probably throwing hot dogs. not allowed.
hobospacejunkie: “We’ll take Dust Bowl Blues and the rest of you can walk your own Trail of Tears.”
Just had a really terrible fight with my husband and found out he takes nitro pills when he’s around me because I give him heart attacks–and not in a good way. Nice to know I’m appreciated somewhere, even by a bunch of potty-mouthed losers.
I’ll put away those Lunesta I’ve been hoarding and go back to my Bollywood movie now. See? You might have saved a life tonight and shit, thunder. Maybe god is finally going to rapture up the ‘tards in the OK state house so the rest of us can live a good, clean life and all the gays can get married and we can go back to having multiple abortions without those morons picketing the clinic.
Texan Bulldoggette: You fled Oklahoma for Texas? Was your map upside down and when you thought you were headed north to Chicago you went south instead? See, high school geography was important, after all.
DustBowlBlues: Ended up at Ft. Hood while I was in the US Army & liked Austin so much I decided to stay when I got out. Pretty simple, but I knew I sure as hell wasn’t going back to OK (no offense).
BTW: there’s a serious religious troll (MariaDevine) on the newest post about swine flu. Go have a gander…they’re probably from OK.
druranium: I cannot believe anyone could possibly say something so gross it would get them banned from wonkette. Boring, yes–ban their ass. Quoting some philosopher with a hard name? Bump them out of there, now.
But for being grossly offensive? Jeepers, shorts. What the fuck did you say? Can you code it in euphemisms or anatomically correct language so it gets by Jim’s eagle eye?
DustBowlBlues: Hahaha. Thank you for that.
plastigirl: As one liberal okie to another, my advice is to accept the fact resistance is futile. The evil cabal of fundamentalist Christians, underfunded schools and the Gaylords have fucked up our state so hopelessly that not a single fucking county voted for the black guy. Yeah, some of us love the funkiness of it and feel a loyalty to the red dirt, but claiming that our state isn’t run by massively douchey ‘tards is hopeless. It’s like claiming if you fry the okra in canola oil instead of bacon fat it’s really pretty healthy.
Just accept it for what it is, hang out with red dirt musicians and live a different reality where you laugh at the idiots. Remember Oklahoma is an inherently funny state. It’s important not to be one of the okies who don’t get the joke.
Jim Newell: I just got back from deep cyberspace where I successfully tracked down and recaptured my comments which had been filtered out. And after re-reading them, it turns out Jim, that they were just too freaking goddamned beautiful. That was their only crime. No links, no Hungarians or CIA agents, or even hungry CIA agents. Nope. They were just too gorgeous, too filled with sheer magnificence and mind-shattering beauty. Truly, this world was never meant for them. And so they go the way of Ms.Bea Arthur who is now laughing her freakin ass off and saying, “Wow! Where did THAT come from?!!
plastigirl: By the way, if you haven’t read Jim Lehrer’s One Eyed Mack series, you should. Lehrer is from TX but spent summers with his grandparents in Little Dixie. He gets the state in an exquisite way. I only wish he would return to the series and do a take on the Republican legislature. Start with Kick the Can–the protag winds up in OK. Then become the only one-eyed Lt. Governor in the history of Oklahoma.
Crown Oklahoma!
Custerwolf: I’m laughing out loud. Thanks.
Texan Bulldoggette: I tried to find the swine flu thread with the troll–since you think she’s from OK, I was just wondering if maybe it’s one of the morons who live in my town. But all I can find on swine flu is your governor asking Uncle Sam for drugs.
I have to add one serious thing: In a year when the Democrats in this state have been absolutely hammered by winger fundamentalists, the Flaming Lips being chosen for the state’s rock song was the one thing we’ve been able to enjoy. And the asshole fundamentalist Republicans had to go and fuck that up, too.
DustBowlBlues: You’re welcome. I was bummed earlier since my first trail ride of the spring (which I was so looking forward to) got rained out, so I came here to lose my sad and instead I loosed my harmless little comment. So I boo-hooed, but now it’s fixed.
Thanks.
Found the pig plague thread. I’ll go fuck with a troll over there. Later!
Custerwolf: Trail rides? Rain? Wait a minute–are you in my backyard?
DustBowlBlues: I live in the (WA) Cascade foothills - where are you?
DustBowlBlues: potty-mouthed losers
Aww, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s said about me all week!
Custerwolf: “- where are you?”
Where the fuck have you been? I’m in Oklahoma, of course–the ‘tard state everyone’s shitting on in this thread. Not that I can blame them. I used to live in Seattle, but avoided hiking and nature as much as possible. I lived across the street from the zoo, which was enough of god’s good earth for me.
DustBowlBlues: I got a good chuckle out of your response to Custerwolf (I think she’s relatively new here). Let me just say unequivocally, that you are the best thing about OK & I actually have relatives there!
DustBowlBlues: I did sort of know that from reading your comments (D’oh!), but I always have to check everything before drawing conclusions. I’m a gullible person so you could have said you’re living on Phinney ridge and I would have believed you. I’m better than I used to be. My (ex) best friend in junior high once told me she had a zebra running around in her back yard and I literally spent 2 hours looking for that goddamned thing in the woods and didn’t find out until a WEEK later, that she was bullshitting me. To this day I think she still feels bad about that. I believed in possibilities back then……..
hobospacejunkie: That’s what I live for, to spread good cheer to all around me. You’re welcome.
BTW–The CS Monitor Weekly featured article this week is about Hopey. Linda Feldman wrote it and I think she’s really good. Pisses me off she’s never on Washington Week.
Shit! Where did that come from? My normal side is creeping out. That means it’s my bedtime. Night all!
Oh, one last, pain-killer induced thought (I fucking gardened–did heavy work–for almost 7 hours in spite of taking care of this paralyzed palsied face of mine–whaa, whaa, whaa.). If I win the Powerball next week, the abortions are on me! Enjoy!
(And in a serious last good night note, in 25 minutes it will be April 26 and I will officially hit what my 12 step group would call a birthday–33 years sober. Yippee ti-yi-yo)
DustBowlBlues: Texan Bulldoggette: Holy fuck, I’ve been getting you two mixed up all this time. (I thought TB was responding to her own post, until I looked at it the third time.) Sometimes my brain overgeneralizes.
Soooo….TB, are you from Texas [winces...waits for response]?
DustBowlBlues: “33 years sober.” Good for you Dusty. You are brave/strong enough to face this fucked-up world sober. Next thing you know you’ll be telling us you had all your kids natural…bitch! ;.)
DustBowlBlues: Break out the champa… oh, yeah… nevermind…
DustBowlBlues: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
Custerwolf: Raised in OK (unfort.) & moved to TX after separation from the Army at Ford Hood. I’m semi-drunk so I will not bitch at you to read the 250 other posts prior to this!
Texan Bulldoggette: You are required to read posts 251 through 267, however. There will be a quiz afterward.
DustBowlBlues: Congratulations!! Just don’t tell your sponsor about all those vicodin you’re taking for your palsy!
I kid, I kid because I love.
Texan Bulldoggette: Can I please turn in my work tomorrow?. Maybe I’ll print out the page and read it on my way to work (I found my comprehension level increases when I’m driving, fewer distractions).
OH GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE STILL HAVING FAG SECKS? IT’S THE END OF DAYS WITH THIS FLU THING WE SHOULD ALL BE FUCKING AND SMOKING METH TOGETHER. GAWD. By the way, does anybody know a good mobile dealer? My phone is nearly whack and capitalism demands I buy another one soon.
Brendan M.: “The body count racked up by communism pales in comparison to that of capitalism, Christianity, or Western imperialism, for the record. ”
Jesus, can’t Hitler get any respect around here?
Bea Arthur gave us “Maude,” and “Maude” gave us Adrienne Barbieu. So it is indeed a sad day.
shortsshortsshorts: I can’t recommend one, but given the growing Shorts web empire, you must get one that allows you to do constant Twitter updates about every waking thought.
shortsshortsshorts: “a good mobile dealer” I think if you prove you have the cash up front, any dealer will meet you in any random alley.
DustBowlBlues: Ugh. I can’t believe you were that gentle with me. (and congrats again - my sis has 21 years).I blame my stupidity on the fact that I was forced to spend an hour talking with my rednecked neighbor yesterday. And obviously I’d forgotton to rouse all of my brain cells which had gone dormant due to lack of necessity. Fucker almost ran over my dog so I came charging out of my trailer (yes, I said trailer)at him like a lunatic grizzly. Then of course I had to kiss and make up with him so he wouldn’t shoot me while I was sleeping.
Texan Bulldoggette: Hah I have a neighbor for that.
Bruno: TWITTER! I still haven’t figured out how to use it. It’s a strange thing. People do “#” things. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
Capitol Hillbilly: And Adrienne Barbeau gave…Snake Pliskin crabs?
DustBowlBlues: Congratulations again on your 33 years. In the future can you be sure to include some stories of your wilder days in your posts? Or is that kind of thing frowned upon? Don’t want to pull you back toward the dark side, it just seems you could probably tell us stories that, in the immortal paraphrased words of Ernie Hudson in Ghostbusters, would turns us white (or whatever is the opposite color of your skin.)
hobospacejunkie: Dusty lives in OK; I can guarantee you that unless she plays for the Sooners, she ain’t black/brown/red/yellow.
Texan Bulldoggette: !!
Bearbloke: Yes, there will be blood and civil war .
Therefore the official song for the Texasisinestan will be:
..And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead- Mistakes and Regrets
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=377297
Texan Bulldoggette: I only actually gave birth to one of them and, yes, natural. BUT it went according to the textbook, the way they say they never go. I was 35 and if it had gone on five minutes later I would have been confessing to trading nuclear weapon secrets with the North Koreans in exchange for getting something for the pain.
Men have no idea how bravely we suffer. And I’m staying sober in Oklahoma, so double cheers for me. These dipshits have driven better liberals than me to drink.
Texan Bulldoggette: Thanks. I agree with you.
hobospacejunkie: During the Conflatulence war (the puma group) I shared some drunk, doped-out, over sexed stories from the ’70s. Nothing’s as wanton and the ’70s. Makes me tired to think about it, but I was able to counter all their head-in-ass fake feminism shit pretty well.
And, yes, I’m white. And not a Sooner football player. Barry Switzer, the famed football coach who’s reviled nationally but a hero in OK, built the first of his winning teams by recruiting black football players who couldn’t play for Texas schools because the SW Conference was still segregated. And he’s a Democrat. Hosted a BBQ for Edwards in 2008. (John Edwards, remember him?)
Interesting (to me) footnote: When my daughter was in college in Norman, Barry was moving to his bigger mansion and his neighbors did his garage sale for him. I own two Frankoma mug that say “Oklahoma is OK! and used to belong to Barry.
Cosmic okieness.
i voted for Brother Inferior but whatever
DustBowlBlues: No WAY!! Fuck. I’m jealous.
Crazy Teabagger from OK arrested for threatening mass murder:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/26/tea-party-twitter-arrest_n_191527.html
Forget that he’s from OK. The guy is a psycho getting some guidance from his interstate friends FoxNews, Rush, Hannity, Beck, Bachmann, etc.
I’m late to this party, but plastigirl, wtf?
Before you paint us with the same brush as the small minority of bible-thumping, crazy windbags, look at your own mayors, legislators and governors. I think you’ll find we’re all in the same sad boat.
“Small minority?” . . . When I walk down the streets of Tulsa, I know that two out of every three people I see voted for that fucking idiot John McCain and his loony little cowgirl, Sarah Palin.
Small minority? Honey, u b foolin urself.
Jim Newell: David Denby will have to get a new user name.
(lack of internet access over the weekend = timeliness FAIL)
Big Ass Belle: Hey, I walk down the streets of Tulsa. Well, as much as you can walk. I love how Sun Belt Cities are designed to get in your car and drive it across the street when you need to talk to your fucking neighbor.
I’ve been waylayed by my vile Bell’s Palsy (first time today I’ve mentioned it) that’s endless but I make it to the Circle Cinema when I can. It’s like an campfire of sanity that liberals rub their hands over then the winger wolves are closing in.
What was this about? Oh, yeah. The Flaming Lips. I noticed this thread is almost up to 300 posts. I’ll have to write a quick note to the Reublitards in the OK House of Rep and let them know they’re breaking all records for being discussed on wonkette. I’m sure they’ll be gratified until one of them tells someone to hit “the google” and find us on the internets webtubes,
As soon as they find out a couple of us are from OK, they’ll no doubt try to hunt us down and do an exorcism.
Custerwolf: One of my fave 60s stories was the afternoon I was sitting at a cafe/bar with a friend, going over an endorsement list for a campaign. (Democratic, of course). We had 20 or 30 names on the list, half of them men, at least. She kind of laughed and I asked “what?”. She said, “I’ve slept with most of the men on this list.”
Aaah, what it was like to be liberal in the olden days.
Texan Bulldoggette: DustBowlBlues: As to the skin color thing, I was asking for stories that would turn the listener/reader ‘white,’ or whatever is the opposite of the listener’s/reader’s skin color. The skin color of the teller of tales is of no consequence in my request. Just wanted to clear that up. I figgered DBB was white.
Browsing through Larry Clark’s epic photo book ‘Tulsa’ i can only say
i have nothing but honest respect for the people there.
If you were the Flaming Lips, would you want to be approved by the OK legislature??
Zhu Bajie
I can’t believe I was out of town (away from the internet)and missed this thread!
Paraphrasing Wayne Coyne of the Lips: “One reason we stay here in Oklahoma is to show others that it is about more than the bible and football…”
I’m afraid that I can’t add much more than that to what I’ve already read here.
DustBowlBlues: [cue Streisand's "Memories"....] Ah yes. My days of being the town pump were back in the ’80’s and 90’s. Good times. I do so loves me those men folk.
rocktonsammy: Surrender.
Also:
Yoshimi Battles the Big Hypocrites:
http://www.thelostogle.com/2009/04/27/yoshimi-battles-the-big-hypocrites/
hobospace: “the rest of you can walk your own Trail of Tears.”
isnt that a little racist?
TBB: Barry Switzer also helped get his players exonerated of rape charges and a lot of other questionable things.
hobospacejunkie: that trail of tears comment is incredibly offensive