Wonkette
Steve Schmidt and David Plouffe are both shiftless, do-nothing losers who will never make a dime because they did not spend the requisite four-plus years drinking cheap beers and having awkward sex with people they did not particularly like at “college.” Both of them in fact dropped out of the University of Delaware, in the process sealing their fate as unemployable hobos. And this is why you must stay in school, children! Because otherwise you might end up pursuing a tawdry life in “politics,” which is basically just “prostitution for ugly people.”
Delaware is, so to speak, the two politicos’ Almost Mater. Schmidt attended the University from 1988 to 1993 and Plouffe attended from 1985 fall [sic] 1988. Both were – and, in fact, are – political science majors: A spokeswoman for the university, Andrea Boyle, said one part of the day’s visit had been a meeting with school officials to hash out the details of finishing their respective degrees.
Plouffe, who dropped out to work on Tom Harkin’s presidential campaign and caught the political bug and never returned, will do some on line work “via distance learning” and “will come back to campus to finish some in person, while he works on his book, she said.
Schmidt, who is just one math class short of his degree, will complete it online, Boyle said.
These two doomed, futureless sad-sacks believe that finishing college through a goddamn correspondence course will save them from their fate, when in fact it guarantees they will become housebound sociopaths who spend their days writing long ranting emails to every news source on the planet, ending each incoherent screed with “PhD”, to prove that they are “educated.”
Schmidt, Plouffe on long-shot McCain [Politico]
I never get enough of that picture!!!!
Schmidt, when not surrounded by Snowbillys & douche bag Rs, is probably fairly agreeable. I do question that he went for 5 years & still managed not to graduate, but at least he didn’t school shop technical, beauty & community colleges in 6 states until they cried Uncle & gave him a degree. (Wink, wink at you, Snowbilly!)
“…the requisite four-plus years drinking cheap beers and having awkward sex with people they did not particularly like…”
I don’t know — looking at the pic of both of them in Politico, I can’t see how the sex would be anything but awkward. Plouffe usually looks better in photos, but Schmidt — oh, dear. God gave us night for a reason.
Da maths eez hard. I haz a brayn fartz.
Schmidt, who is just one math class short of his degree, will complete it online, Boyle said.
Great Reagan’s Ghost, what kinda half-assed math class is this that you can finish online?
Question #3: In a Tweet of 140 characters or less, demonstrate that the compactness property implies a locally differentiable structure for a manifold M.
Steve Schmidt is three years younger than David Plouffe!? Seriously, Schmidt wishes he looked like the guy in that picture.
PhDs are not for the edumucateds because they are only recognized in one country. Only “Grand PhDs” count which are recognized globally:
http://www.widu.be/demands_to_phd_grand_phd
I can’t wait for Schimdt’s profs to grade his 4th Year Thesis: Why Sarah Palin.
The schmuck will never graduate.
Bruno: “Grand Doctor of Philosophy”? Does Grand Wizard count?
SmutBoffin: You’re talking about Jell-O sculpture, right?
Shouldn’t Plouffe, as one of those hippy-commie-socialist types, be staying up at night arguing philosophy and drinking cheap red wine?
Or am I showing my age?
SmutBoffin: There really isn’t an M, because Twatter actually is using 256-byte chunks, minus a short header, and stealing your brain waves, encoded using steganography.
srsly, I think all sorts of stuff can be done completely online now, although I’m very curious as to how they manage certain things given the purported rise in cheating and plagiarism over the last few decades.
Here’s another reason we need universal military service. I guar-an-freakin’-tee that if the Vietnam War had still been happening in 1985, they would have STAYED IN SCHOOL for teh defermentz.
II-S YES, 1-A NO WAY!
They would have still had degrees in Epic Fail, but they would have been more productive members of society writing for Stars & Stripes.
Bruno: For the decision of global problems the specialists must have fundamental grounding in many areas of a science, techniques, and humanitarian disciplines in a complex.
Yes? Pray, continue.
I dropped out of college way before those guys, and what do I get?
Also, if Plouffe or Schmidt wanna experience the awkward sex thing, they could just as well turn on the Bob Marley, empty half a pitcher of Natty Lite over their heads, wrench on their testicles really hard, then get the dumbass from next door to interrupt the whole process in order to borrow a bong.
so they wont need a bailout?
I found college to be more ‘awkward beers and cheap sex’, but that’s just me.
“The McCain campaign, Schmidt said, was “the strategic equivalent of throwing a football through a tire at 50 yards…”
Six months of working with McCain must make it pretty tough to get the Viagra ads out of your head.
BTW, so, are we in an armistice of expediency with Politico now, or was there a surrender on the deck of the Missouri and I missed it?
So, we can all agree, the University of Delaware sucks.
They should have taken the Palin route and combined their degree-seeking with an eight-year crawl around the various unaccredited universities in the Pacific Northwest, before finally settling on a major in Eyeliner at Couer d’Alene Upstairs Cosmetology College.
Unless you’re going to be an engineer or doctor or
some such, college is just a waste of time.
Uncle Glenny: I think all sorts of stuff can be done completely online now, although I’m very curious as to how they manage certain things given the purported rise in cheating and plagiarism over the last few decades.
One way is to have your students’ hand in their papers on disc or flash drive, then cut n’ paste anything that looks fishy in teh Googles.
Texan Bulldoggette: You forgot to mention Bible Spice’s credits from Clown College (aka the 2008 GOP campaign)…
Lascauxcaveman: Heh, they never learn, do they? Whenever the semi-literate scrawl magically transforms to coherent, polysyllabic English, it’s a dead giveaway. Srsly, just put a fukkin’ footnote in there and voila you have turned plagiarism into good scholarship.
I’m still not convinced Delaware exists at all. I’ve never actually meet anyone from there and you practically never hear of it in the news. I think it’s just a scam.
Although Schmidt is talking like a reasonable person now and nixed the idea of snowbilly getting to give her own ‘concession’ speach,(has anybody ever learned the content of that historical document?), that shouldn’t give him a pass. He realized Senator HENGHHH! was a lost cause and ran a campaign designed to fire up the most despicable elements of the voting population. Furthermore, he found their king in that contemtible ass, Joe the shit poker, who inexplicably has yet to completely disappear from the national conciousness. Good luck, trying to convert the knuckledraggers to thinking reasonably, you twat.
shit… i gotta still finish my mfa.
Well, actually, Karl Rove attended the same Poli-sci school as me… but did so well with the D.C. internship that the RNC hired him on the spot and he dropped out.
SmutBoffin: I took all my college math classes online except for multi-variable calculus. Most math is done on computers anyway.
chascates: Delaware is basically a rest stop on the drive between between New York/Philly and DC.
Overeducated Projecting Girl is Projecting.
Didn’t Biden go to Delaware as well? Weird.
Crab1: Compared to comprehending recent-Asian-immigrant teaching assistants in labs twice a week, I think the Internets would make math easier for most kids. I never had a problem, because I have a natural ear for accents, but some of the Georgia natives at Georgia Tech spend most of their math labs saying, “Do whut now?”
SmutBoffin: has TeX been ported to Twitter yet?
LittlePig: Lawlz! Although. . .I wonder if students might find it useful to collaborate on problem sets using Twitter. God knows it’s not really useful for anything else.
They should go ahead and give Plouffe his degree based on the number of emails we all got from him during the campaign.
Bearbloke: Did she get credit for that or just audit it as a refresher for 2012?
norbizness: Win.
Plouffe is a poof and Schmidt is a shit. The end.
Lazy Media: Got my advanced meth degree at Wasilla College.
chascates: Yea, Joe Biden just made it all up:
Joe Biden: Hey, my train was late coming in from Wilmington, but I’m here now, where’s my office?
Senate Sergeant: Uh…who are you?
Joe Biden: I’m Joe Biden, I’m the new Senator from Delaware.
Senate Sergeant: Delaware? Never heard of it.
Joe Biden: It’s uh, wedged in there between New York and Pennsylvania.
Senate Sergeant: Oh….are you sure that’s not a county or something?
Joe Biden: No! I mean, uh, actually it was the first state to ratify the Constitution. Yeah, the “First State”.
Senate Sergeant: Really, I would’ve thought it was Massachusetts or something.
Joe Biden: Yeah, no, um, Delaware.
Senate Sergeant: Huh, how ’bout that…well, you can take John Kerry’s office. We had to set him up on the lawn, his chin wouldn’t fit indoors.
Senator Joe Biden: Thx!
american mutt:
correction: Shit! I still have to finish my M.F.A. or Shit! I’ve still got to finish my M.F.A.
You’ve got a lot of work to do, I see. Unless your M.F.A is not in writing, in which case, carry on.
I love the phrase: “dropped out to work on Tom Harkin’s presidential campaign.” Where would it look better, a resume or an epitaph?
Joe Barton isn’t fooling anyone. I recognize him even with the beard.
Red State Blue Hens.
TimeCubist: Every single picture of the Grand PhD recipients deserve alt-text:
http://www.widu.be/news