• February 15, 2012

Here is something for you all to masturbate to on this “Slow News Friday”: a Jell-O sculpture of the White House that magically goes from limp and decayed to proudly turgid, thanks to our new president. Check out the artist, Liz Hickok, who seems nifty! [YouTube/Liz Hickok]

{ 34 comments }

Lazy Media April 24, 2009 at 9:25 am

And it’s so delicious, with the fapping and the putting the spoon in and the yummmm.

Texan Bulldoggette April 24, 2009 at 9:27 am

Turgid? Now there’s a word you don’t hear often enough, unless it’s a “turgid member” which means hard dick. Good for you, Sara K. Smith, working it into Wonkette.

Bronkers April 24, 2009 at 9:30 am

Uh, yup… slooooow news and slow take to turgid. Sorta like a lot of… well, y’all can fill in the blanks.

freakishlystrong April 24, 2009 at 9:35 am

WOTD=”Turgid”

ManchuCandidate April 24, 2009 at 9:38 am

Perhaps Barry can show us Cosby imitation?

hobospacejunkie April 24, 2009 at 9:43 am

Jell-o is made from horses’ hooves. Why does Barry hate horses?

tonytonytony April 24, 2009 at 9:51 am

Obama always said he would restore boner and dignity to the White House.

engulfedinflames April 24, 2009 at 9:51 am

not hard smooth strong and striving enough. turgid, you call that turgid?

x111e7thst April 24, 2009 at 9:55 am

[re=298652]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I thought turgid member was just another way of referring to john boehner

WagTehGod April 24, 2009 at 9:58 am

It’s really subtle so you might’ve missed it, but the White House also rotated so there so it faces Mecca now.

freakishlystrong April 24, 2009 at 10:11 am

Apparantly, it’s also visible on Google Earth now as well.

bitchincamaro April 24, 2009 at 10:12 am

Isn’t socialist art was all about strong women and handsome men striking heroic poses with shiny farm implements? Melt-y desserts? Meh.

Serolf Divad April 24, 2009 at 10:15 am

In 200 days it will inflate to three times its size and float off into the stratosphere.

bitchincamaro April 24, 2009 at 10:16 am

[re=298681]bitchincamaro[/re]: Fucking grammar. Go back to bed.

dijetlo April 24, 2009 at 10:23 am

Did she use gay jello, or did she somehow make the Jello gay during it’s preparation?
This has significant ramifications among the conservative base (yup, all three of them want to know).

Bruno April 24, 2009 at 10:23 am

Yes, but it is now supposed to be the Black House. FAIL

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 24, 2009 at 10:26 am

Needs more Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith, imo.

suchsweetthunder April 24, 2009 at 10:27 am

What is that, a house for ants?

SayItWithWookies April 24, 2009 at 10:36 am

[re=298652]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: That’s our President Obama — bringing throbbing tumescence back to the White House.

Internally valid April 24, 2009 at 10:41 am

I always suspected jell-o was a liberal medium.

SayItWithWookies April 24, 2009 at 11:03 am

[re=298662]hobospacejunkie[/re]: You can get veggie Jell-O made from fruit pectin. And guess where it’s available? Muslim stores. Gelatin is apparently neither vegetarian nor halal, as it’s often made from pigs’ feet too, or so the Syrian shopowner I asked told me. Just wanted to toss another clue out there for birthers.

forgracie April 24, 2009 at 11:23 am

Thinking about Sara using the word turgid makes me feel funny inside…

Uncle Glenny April 24, 2009 at 11:24 am

[re=298670]x111e7thst[/re]: I’ve thought for some time that he should be referred to like that: “Contrary to the statements of the turgid member, …” More generally, in reply to the “Democrat” as adjective infantilism, “I yield the floor to my Repugnant colleague.”

Uncle Glenny April 24, 2009 at 11:35 am

[re=298724]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I used to use Agar for stabilizing mousses/meringues, but it was harder to work with.

Interestingly, back when I did lots of baking, which frequently used stabilized mousses and genoise and ganache containing booze, it was interesting who would find the ingredients (or combinations) acceptable and the rationalizations (strict vegetarianism, religious proscription): two people I remember would justify the alcohol/gelatin (respectively) in spite of religious reasons, whereas some more newagey vegetarians would not (one in particular was really more cow-phobic because of mad cow disease).

Uncle Glenny April 24, 2009 at 11:38 am

[re=298738]forgracie[/re]: yeah. Kind of like when I had to sit through one of those ads where people are diving and flying through the city and I realized I really do suffer from vertigo, or hearing that someone from the Middlesex County Sheriff’s office had been looking for me and came back three times… Maybe when I first developed serious diverticulitis…

Cranky Little Camperette April 24, 2009 at 11:40 am

[re=298724]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I had a friend of mine who was a strict vegetarian and thought he could avoid my Jell-O Shots of Evil (TM) by claiming the moral high ground. I went to the local organic market, found a seaweed-based “gelatin” and proceeded to ply him with shots.

I don’t think he’s ever forgiven me for that hangover.

Lionel Hutz Esq. April 24, 2009 at 12:18 pm

So, what they are saying is that if only someone in the Bush administration actually believed in that science thingy, and passed out some Viagra, we could have saved a couple hundreds-thousand lives?

I’m down with that.

SayItWithWookies April 24, 2009 at 12:27 pm

[re=298748]Uncle Glenny[/re]: [re=298752]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]: I haven’t had Jell-O (or Gummi Bears or Starburst, for the same reason) in fifteen years — though I’ve managed to make up for it with other vices. But I might see if my local hippie store has the veggie Jell-O equivalent — there’s nothing like getting viciously drunk off of children’s food.

northernbassist April 24, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Any Jell-o sculpture – carrot curls = FAIL.

BlueStateLibtard April 24, 2009 at 1:15 pm

I want to see an a jello sculpture of Dick Cheney slowly melting and dissolving into a slimey green pool on the floor, can she do that?

One Yield Regular April 24, 2009 at 1:50 pm

This is astoundingly unpatriotic, almost like not wearing a tie in the Oval Office. I eagerly await fervent condemnation from [insert backwoods Republican Congressperson name here].

But seriously, Liz Hickok IS nifty (hooray Liz and congratulations – from a client..).

Texan Bulldoggette April 24, 2009 at 1:51 pm

[re=298901]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Happens every night & then every morning he has to morph back to a human (that term is used very loosely regarding His Dark One) form.

Mr Blifil April 24, 2009 at 2:38 pm

All I can think about is the Kiss song “Plaster Caster.”

Min April 24, 2009 at 3:39 pm

To complete the phallic imagery, the flag should have shot up into the air at the end.

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