• February 15, 2012

Multiple people have sent us photos of this local hobo today, so sure, we’ll bite. Operative “John B.” writes: “I talked to this young conservative at the corner of 14th and k. I can’t help him but maybe he could help Miss California. He is a media specialist according to his resume.” (In POLITICS.) And he’s pretty good at it, right? This little stunt has landed him an entire post on an Internet blog! So call him up and hire him okay?

{ 69 comments }

ManchuCandidate April 23, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Why do I get the feeling that the only position he’ll be offered is Anal?

Vartan84 April 23, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Where is his face? Is he one of those evil spirit people or vampires whose reflection doesn’t show up in pictures… or something…

Custerwolf April 23, 2009 at 2:11 pm

In case we thought he meant the comic books.

Naked Bunny with a Whip April 23, 2009 at 2:14 pm

[re=297861]Custerwolf[/re]: He’d be more respectable (and employable) if he meant the comic books.

El Pinche April 23, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Instead of dressing up as minuteman at a tea party, perhaps Steve-o should have attended a job fair.

HomoPolitico April 23, 2009 at 2:15 pm

I have three years experience in field operations, coalition building, and media relations. I’m much more attractive. My only flaw is sometimes I work too hard. Hire me, not that conservative little shit.

bureaucrap April 23, 2009 at 2:15 pm

I think Ziegfields/Secrets is hiring for the happy hour shift.

Lascauxcaveman April 23, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Hey! That’s pretty clever. But he looks almost as gay as Meg(h)’s BF congressman Schock or Schlong or whatever.

But still, pretty clever.

[re=297861]Custerwolf[/re]: Also clever.

sevenrepeat April 23, 2009 at 2:16 pm

i’d hit it.

HomoPolitico April 23, 2009 at 2:18 pm

[re=297868]bureaucrap[/re]: THANK YOU! See folks, thats a real wonketteer, keeping his ear to the ground and looking out for me.

chascates April 23, 2009 at 2:18 pm

He’s not wearing a red tie. He’s gay.

slithytoves April 23, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Or just call him up. Anyone do that, yet?

NoWireHangers April 23, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Jim Newell giving handouts to lazy slobs like a common Government worker? What is Our Wonkette COMING TO?! If this dude is as unemployed and hoboriffic as he purports then he should be able to get a free house from NOOBAMA and ACORN! That’s why we teabagged across America! So losers like this jerk won’t get a welfare handout with my tax money! It’s in the CONSTITUTION!

bureaucrap April 23, 2009 at 2:22 pm

[re=297874]HomoPolitico[/re]: You probably don’t want to know about their interview process. But you could probably guess.

WadISay April 23, 2009 at 2:23 pm

It’s three years apostrophe. Media specialist me arse, tho maybe Fox will take him.

Scarab April 23, 2009 at 2:23 pm

A Conservative ‘Media Specialist’ using a hand drawn sign instead of the internet. Nice.

factnorfiction April 23, 2009 at 2:24 pm

Is that his stuff on the bench in the background?

populucious April 23, 2009 at 2:25 pm

It’s like my gramma always told me: “Never trust a hobo in a suit.”

shortsshortsshorts April 23, 2009 at 2:26 pm

He will get work, but only if he is affiliated with Jeff Gannon.

Than he will get work.

Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin April 23, 2009 at 2:27 pm

He needs the same alt-text as Glenn Beck.

freakishlystrong April 23, 2009 at 2:27 pm

[re=297878]slithytoves[/re]: Thank you, I was just about to say that, how crazy! His stupid, conservative, closeted-gay, racist phone must be ringing off the hook….

taylormattd April 23, 2009 at 2:27 pm

If he wants to be hired, he needs to include either “morans” or “muslin” in his handmade sign.

Texan Bulldoggette April 23, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Someone needs to tell this precious that in this economy 3 years in DC politics won’t get him a job at Starbucks. But if he gave Mark Foley or Larry Craig a call, I’m sure they could scare up some ‘work’ for him.

fishandvodka April 23, 2009 at 2:28 pm

[re=297885]Scarab[/re]: Have you seen the news, aka teabag parties? Hand drawn signs are “it” ietms in conservative media. It is like twitter, it’s grassroots. Post internet paradigm, ftw.

Pizzuti April 23, 2009 at 2:29 pm

That guy’s name should be Chad. Chad Chadderson.

Most white guys woult have that name, but him especially.

Pizzuti April 23, 2009 at 2:31 pm

BTW – Has anyone tried calling the number yet?

Jukesgrrl April 23, 2009 at 2:34 pm

My nieces make better signs for the Jonas Brothers concerts.

slithytoves April 23, 2009 at 2:36 pm

[re=297894]freakishlystrong[/re]: I tried calling; it rang a few times and then he answered, but it must be windy in Washington today (the city) ’cause we had trouble connecting. He just kept saying “Hello?” And then he hung up. I hope he has a plan with extra extra minutes.

Crow T. Robot April 23, 2009 at 2:36 pm

I will hire you young man!

Please provide you DOB, mailing address, phone, and social security number for a routine background check…will call you soon.

Gopherit April 23, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Judging from the quality of that posterboard, he’s probably the douche who made all of those signs republicans used on CSPAN. Fuck him. He assisted in making this giant ball of shit, let him get a few helpings.

TaxWallStreet April 23, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Tommmcatt April 23, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Ha-Ha Douchebag, bet on the wrong pony, didn’t ya? Too bad your “ethics” preclude the taking of socialistic “unemployment insurance” or “welfare”.

The line for McDonalds’ applications starts here. Enjoy that minimum wage you don’t want raised!

freakishlystrong April 23, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=297904]slithytoves[/re]: He probably used his special powers and figured out you were a librul just from the ringtone….

Cranky Little Camperette April 23, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=297867]HomoPolitico[/re]: Seriously? THAT’S all it takes to get a coveted Wonkette Employment Endorsement (TM)?

Jim, you LIED! Send those polaroids of my boobs back immediately!!!

hobgoblin of little minds April 23, 2009 at 2:45 pm

he’s got a purty mouff.

[re=297892]Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin[/re]: win

Gopherit April 23, 2009 at 2:46 pm

[re=297915]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]: Never trust a ginger.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! April 23, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Custerwolf would hit it.

Texan Bulldoggette April 23, 2009 at 2:46 pm

[re=297909]Tommmcatt[/re]: A little OT, but I noticed Mark ‘no thank you stimulus money’ Sanford is begging for FEMA now that God hath wrought his little joke on El Governor Douchebag by alighting SC on fire. Why does Mother Nature, God or the local arsonist hate Mark Sanford?

iwillsavethispatient April 23, 2009 at 2:49 pm

[re=297902]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Don’t worry, we all believe you that it was your “nieces” that went to the Jonas Bros. concert.

One Yield Regular April 23, 2009 at 2:50 pm

[re=297884]WadISay[/re]: In this economy I wouldn’t want to stand between ANYone and a job (except maybe Glenn Beck), but given that he’s ostensibly looking for work in media relations, I wondered the same thing. Also, were I an interviewer, I’d want to know if he was using the unaccented “resume” out of conviction, ignorance, laziness, or Francophobia.

[re=297905]Crow T. Robot[/re]: You forgot “bank account number” – so you’ll, uh, know where to direct deposit his checks.

blackdontcrack April 23, 2009 at 2:52 pm

eh..i’d do him.

mookworthjwilson April 23, 2009 at 2:54 pm

I hear the GOP Natl Comte is looking for an experienced cum dumpster…I am sure he fits the bill…

Monsieur Grumpe April 23, 2009 at 2:57 pm

References:

W
Cheney
Rumsfield
Rice
Yoo
Gonzales
Ashcroft
Rove
Bolton
Miers
Abrams
McClellan

I think I found your problem kid.

Tommmcatt April 23, 2009 at 2:58 pm

[re=297919]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:

The mills of God, my friend….

raysmuckles April 23, 2009 at 3:00 pm

If this darsh really wanted a job, he’d invest in a 202 number. Central Pa. just doesn’t cut it.

Bill_TX April 23, 2009 at 3:00 pm

The “Cum in my hair” alt-text would’ve been fine here too.

HomoPolitico April 23, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=297915]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]: You think that’s bad, I had to let Ken teabag me with his ACORNS.

Bill_TX April 23, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=297892]Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin[/re]: D’oh, beat me to it.

hrhkingfriday April 23, 2009 at 3:04 pm

[re=297917]Gopherit[/re]: Never trust a Gingah (I kid, I kid). I’m going to go see if he’s still out there. If he’s in Mcpherson square park, he can totes get a free sandwich at 5:45.

HandsomePete April 23, 2009 at 3:06 pm

717 area code? That’s central PA territory. He probably takes a horse and buggy to work.

JadedDIssonance April 23, 2009 at 3:07 pm

[re=297937]hrhkingfriday[/re]: He’s a little skinny for you don’cha think?

WIld Turkey April 23, 2009 at 3:08 pm

[re=297885]Scarab[/re]: Yeah, everyone knows that the appropriate way list one’s work experience is in a series of Twitter rants.

mrpuma2u April 23, 2009 at 3:09 pm

Can he answer phones, buzz in visitors and update an access database in the few moments someone isn’t yelling at him for coffe or making him go get donutz, maybe he could get work. That is too much like real work for the likes of him I’m sure.

Maybe he could do temp work in the foreclosure dept at Freddie. Make him give up his tie and shoelaces first.

Servo April 23, 2009 at 3:11 pm

AmeriCorps will need some publicity media, taint-breath. Go volunteer!

Accordion-o-rama April 23, 2009 at 3:15 pm

With all these guys out of work, I sense the next few years will be golden for conservative-themed gay porn. Who can suggest some titles?

american mutt April 23, 2009 at 3:20 pm

[re=297898]Pizzuti[/re]: I know a guy named William Wellington Wymore III. He looks like a line cook at a Texas diner. In fact he had a small role a line cook in a diner in the movie Grindhouse.

pat robertsons personal trainer April 23, 2009 at 3:25 pm

this guy will give jeff gannon a run for the money for the Best Self-Loathing Blowjob by a Gay-Hatin’ Republican who likes to Suck Cock.

DagNabbit April 23, 2009 at 3:26 pm

WANTED: Loose assholed, spoiled Ivy League douche nozzle for internship/HJs.

Woodwards Friend April 23, 2009 at 3:33 pm

I feel bad for the person who ends up with his number after he cancels it, which probably happened 15 minutes after it was posted on Wonkette. Some poor grandmother in the 717 area code is going to find her Jitterbug flooded with people calling to talk about TruckNutz and the like.

DagNabbit April 23, 2009 at 3:36 pm

[re=297924]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Queer Looking? Check. Male? Check. Easily disposable? Check.

We have a “Cumpster”!

Gopherit April 23, 2009 at 3:45 pm

[re=297942]JadedDIssonance[/re]: nah. she’ll make a man out of him with a sandwich, and a lot of large women.

Cranky Little Camperette April 23, 2009 at 3:57 pm

[re=297932]HomoPolitico[/re]: …and STILL no endorsement? Can’t trust any of ‘em…

Red Zeppelin April 23, 2009 at 3:59 pm

[re=297919]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: It was all the meth labs in Myrtle Beach spontaneously combusting. Who knows why?

PrairiePossum April 23, 2009 at 4:02 pm

If he is going to stand in the park and beg for work, he should at least dress like a tranny hooker and carry some nipple clamps and a bag of meth instead of the dumb sign.

Custerwolf April 23, 2009 at 4:25 pm

[re=297918]Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish![/re]: I refuse to do ANYONE who has a perfectly square forehead.

hamletta April 23, 2009 at 5:24 pm

14th & K?

Haha. That’s where the hookers use to ply their wares when I was a little hamlettita.

LittlePig April 23, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Why can’t he just hold a box of Prix like the other little douchebag did the other day.

Bruno April 24, 2009 at 10:28 am

Has anyone called yet? If you do say there you are calling from Al-Jazeera and there is a job available for $100,000 year, tax free if he flies to Doha and brings a $5000 facilitation fee.

coffeeyesplease April 24, 2009 at 12:48 pm

[re=297859]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
c’os looks like someone who’s gagging for it…

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