Wonkette
Her whole life she’d wondered. How could she, a lively and high-spirited young woman, possibly be the child of a deeply depressed and profoundly lifeless pill addict like her so-called mother? She thought she might have the answer now …
Daphne Waters, the charming girl reporter who’d been the toast of Manhattan in the 60s and 70s, had once engaged in a torrid romance with Meg’s own dashing father. Could Meg, a child of the 80s, also be the child of their love?
11:02 AM — Well dammit this Barbara Walters story line isn’t going to go anywhere if she isn’t on the show today.
11:03 AM — Karl Rove isn’t just a man. He’s a metaphor!
11:04 AM — Who’s the future of the Republican party? Fuckable Aaron Schock, of course!
11:04 AM — Well, we will say this for her: she is pretty corrosive, talking trash about Karl Rove.
11:06 AM — “Animals don’t torture each other.” Who was that, Joy Behar? Meghan McCain is such a Democrat. Just look at the bangs.
11:07 AM — This is just weird, that torture is becoming such a common topic of conversation that they are talking about it on the goddamn View.
11:09 AM — “I just can’t even conceive of having children.” That is a pun. All the women on The View hate their children.
11:14 AM — Whoopi Goldberg has, on occasion, considered killing her children.
11:15 AM — Yep, 15 minutes is about our limit. But the bottom line is this: Meghan McCain talks rillyrillyfast, and she does say “like” altogether too much, but she does make some good points about how awful the Republican party is. We can only regret that: 1) Elisabeth Hasselbeck wasn’t on the show for her to argue with; 2) she did not bring up (at least, as of 20 minutes in) the point that all those bitches were so mean to her dad that one time he was on the show; 3) they did not bring up her insane Twitter freak-out. But those three elements combined would have transformed the show from The View into The Morton Downey Jr. Show, so we will just have to live with it.
Ann Coulter isn’t just a man. He’s a metaphor!
How fitting that this thread was accompanied by a colon care ad.
Also, you missed a somewhere.
bfstevie: I got a “find a job” service.
I’ve created myself in zwinky.
Also, according to sci-fi documentary The Matrix, if I say “Whoa! Identical Pictures on Two Consecutive Posts!” it means that there’s a glitch in the internet and Hugo Weaving is about to shoot me in the head.
“Talking trash”? What does that even mean? Sounds ghertto to me.
Jeez America. If you’da ‘lected McCain we coulda had this hottie as first daughter, instead of those awful dark-skinned munchkins trashing the “White” House lawn.
What would she look like without the make-up and fake blonde hair?
Zhu Bajie
rmontcal: There was supposed to be a “end indent” HTML character in there.
Animals don’t torture each other? Jesus, lady, ever owned a cat? My widdle fuzzykins makes Mengele look like Mr. Rogers.
MARCdMan: Apparently the ad keeps changing. Not like good old reliable Campbell Brown, who used to just watch us like a giant distaff Jesus, from the side.
Orcas toss seals (and sometimes humans) into the air and catch them, repeatedly, then hold them under water, repeatedly, as a sort of cetacean equivalent of waterboarding. But, to be fair, they think the seals are having fun.
SmutBoffin: White people can’t be ghetto. Where have you been?
God, I miss Campbell Brown.
Meghan McCain makes me sad and confused, she kinda looks like Kira; but at the same time wouldn’t mind the Skeksis strapping Meghan down and draining her life essence so she would shut up. RArrarawwwwrrrwwarwwarwawarrrrrrr
bfstevie: I know, I just thought it was funny that a thread about Megs had a “Get a Job” add in it.
Lazy Media: Big Liver: Win and win. Between the two of you, I just about outed myself as reading blogs at work.
Big Liver: actually, the orcas have convinced themselves they’re helping the seals speak to Allah.
i can haz legitamicy now?
While I went from not knowing about Meghan McCain to not caring to finding her irritating, I think she is cut out for a gig on The Spew. Hosting the View doesn’t require any discernible talent or intellect and she could replace Elisabitch as the token Conservative.
Ah Meghan, my favorite RILF, even more than that snowbilly from Alaska.
norbizness: Different alt text, however.
Can MMc be a permanent replacement to Hasselbeck? They are both pretty empty headed and whiny, but MMc isn’t COMPLETELY evil.
MARCdMan: Point taken. But there’s always time for good colon health.
BipartisanFizgig: “she kinda looks like Kira”
It’s the full facial wax/incipient female pattern baldness look.
*twiddling thumbs; waiting for the next massacre*
Let’s start a complete ban on anything related to Meghan McCain—please?
In reality, she’s a doofus, a moron, uninteresting, she has not done anything of note or merit–and she’s severely lacking on every level in general knowledge, intelligence, common sense, insight, analysis, government, politics, civics, health, education, welfare, the military, econmics, finance, agriculture, labor, commerce, law enforcement, crime, corrections, judicial proceedings, transportation, business, the environment, energy, global warming, climate change, biology, anthropology, research and development, medicine, health and human services, history, public affairs, entertainment, popular culture, technology, science, architecture, construction, infrastructure, manufacting and industry.
Ugh. She is really unfortunate looking.
thefrontpage: Cosign.
thefrontpage: But she was “officially the first blog in history to document a presidential campaign.”
Big Liver: Oh that’s just tenderizing. Seal tartare and all that.
I so get this chasing Amy vibe from her. I mean you know that she plays for the wrong team ideologically not sexually. Is that wrong?
Q: “What did Vizinni say when his wife told him she was barren?”
I’d hit it. Hard.
amyazz: she is also fuckable, unlike that shrieking bag of bones and fear. i bet little lizzie stinks 10 ways to hell with the fear-pheromone output
thefrontpage: i said it before i’ll say it again… mammary glands
Big Liver: well that’s interspecies (like tossing your salad), intraspecie it’s pretty much unheard of, excepting us of course. cuddles!
thefrontpage: You’ve just described Joe the Plumber. I’m a gay man, and I’d rather look at Meghan than Joe the Plumber. Also.
i’m glad there was mention of her bangs. thanks for soothing this homo’s savage soul. also. microtrends.
bfstevie: I’m a gay man, and I would totally hate-fuck Joe the Plumber. “You call that a plumber’s helper? Doesn’t it get any bigger? Is that as hard as you can fuck? Give it to me the way you gave to Todd on the bus. What are you, a lesbian with a strap-on?” etc.
Megan McCain is boring. Next!
I met her the other day. In person, it looks like Cindy’s face stretched over her Dad’s enormous head, with way too much (and too light) foundation on it, and layers of caked-on black eyeliner. She wore a nude lip, which was not flattering. It was like Ivanka and Ann Nicole hit the windshield.
this bitch is really not going to go away, is she? god i hate john mccain, his stupid and campaign and all the idiots involved just won’t die.
zhubajie: Susan Boyle
Sorry Meg(h), I know you’re our internet girlfriend and all but I gotta point out here that Chimpanzees torture each other, quite horribly. It was in National Geographic a couple years back. Pulling out fingernails, squishing testicles, etc. They could probably give our Gitmo boys a tip or two. Not that the fact that animals *do* torture makes it inherently OK, since chimps do a whole lot of other really fucked up shit that we would be ahead not to emulate. In addition to.
thefrontpage: so.
how do you look in polka dots?
Country Club Jihadi: Nice.
Line up Hasselbeck & Megh nekkid next to each other & I don’t think you folks will be singing the same tune. I realize, however, that The View is not recorded nude in front of a live audience, so perhaps Megh should replace the short bus demon spawn from hell, EH.
Aww, I hope we don’t break up with Meg(h), I think she’s neat. Our pic, however, is not flattering. Bring back the laptop/hotel sexiness.
I am glad she can’t conceive of having children. She seems like the type who would “accidently” get pregnant to encourage a certain congressman to marry her. Plus, how fucked up would those kids be. Srsly.
hobospacejunkie: I’m trying to imagine that and I’m doing alright with Meg(h) but when I get to Hasselbeck I can only imagine a weird flesh-colored haze between her neck and knees. Its like someone sneezed on my mind’s eye. Probably for the best.
KittyLitter: You win. Although I did throw up a little bit in my mouth.
Another job for the old resume.
Though this does raise a good question: is mom still making the beast with two backs with the Michael Bolton wannabe in AZ?
ellie: Like a Baltic stripper, really.
“Animals don’t torture each other.”
Well, some of them do “play” with prey animals an inordinate amount of time before killing them. Your house cat. Killer whales. A number of other species.
Terry: I just had this mental image of my cat waterboarding the neighbor’s dog…
Why is that everytime I see a picture of MMc, I immediately imagine her finger-cuffing Levi Johnston and Arsenio Hall while Eddie Murphy’s hit single from the 80s plays in the background? Is it just me?
/cue music: “My girl wants to party all the time, party all time, party all the tiiiiime!”
magic titty: Ghetto/Ghertto, White Trash/Potato. It’s all the same to argula-eating bigcitylibrulmuslin terrorists.
KittyLitter: That is all sorts of disturbing….Well done.
KittyLitter: That’s a hate fuck I can get behind
“Karl Rove is creepy” is code for “I know he likes to diddle small boys”.
I miss the Morton Downey Jr show.
KittyLitter: I came.
Looks like Kim Bauer.
KittyLitter: KittyLitter that sounds like JtP fear-fucking you. Not that it wasn’t good for me, I’m just hoping for a play-by-play of you actually hate-fucking him.
She is about as close to “hip” as we’re ever going to get out of Republican DNA, so let us not be too harsh. And compared to Michael’s Steele’s clumsy attempts at “hipness”, the damn girl is practically Writing-for-Rollingstone-in-1968 cool.
Wake me when she start her own line of squirt genre videos.
“Animals don’t torture each other.”
Yeah, Meghan, that’s not true. Animals are assholes. I once saw my darling little one-year-old puppy, in spite of my trying to hide the corpse, rip open a dead possum to find live possum babies. He ate them all (rotting corpse included) while I was too horrified and candy-assed to stop. That said, I still think cats are the biggest torturers I’ve owned.
In spite of the gross factual error she’s made, though, I will give her credit for it being a complete sentence (subject AND predicate)! And no trace of “like” anywhere!
thefrontpage: I’m in too. I want the dark McCain or the much older MCain half sister.
No, I’m wrong no more McCains at all.
Lazy Media: Cats are doing terrible things because that’s what they do and it’s fun.They don’t think they are going to get useful information. So yes, they torture but no, they don’t stoop to harsh interrogation.
This is what it was like for me to read this article:
Liveblogging Meghan McCain Guest-Hosting blah blah blah hot want to do her blah blah blah hot want to do her blah blah blah gotta go the office restroom now if you know what i mean blah blah blah