YOU WOULD ASSUME IT IS A JOKE, and maybe, but here’s the brilliant video from the head of the “Ohio Militia” (Lanny Davis?) calling for a “Militia Man March” on Washington. One million wingnuts with guns. C’mon now: “A peaceful demonstration, no shooting, no one gets hurt, just a demonstration. The only difference from any typical demonstration is we will all be armed.” Well we see no problems with this plan. But it will probably just end up being 13 Paultards in clown costumes eating french fries together at Chili’s. [YouTube via "Short Short Short"]
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{ 139 comments }
Mmmmmm, Chilis.
Capital!
As long as once they leave OH, they’re not allowed back.
hahahaha “Be There if YOUR a true patriot”
Nothing bad could come out of that.
But it will probably just end up being 13 Paultards in clown costumes eating french fries together at Chili’s.
Sounds like a Fark party.
in clown costumes eating french fries together at Chili’s
Ah, I see you and I have similar tastes in dating.
The guy speaking in that video moonlights doing voiceover work for Squidbillies on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim.
Lighten up, Francis!
Omigod. That was hilarious. And just a little bit scary.
Can you think of anything better than a bunch of angry red necks toting AK-47′s in a crowded city-center? I mean isn’t that like the best birffffday present ever?
I call dibs on the beer concession.
They’re organizing a Civil War reenactment in DC? What is it, the Battle of Harry Turtledove’s “Guns of the South?”
Well maybe… If we can just get passed the DC Voting Rights Bill as it currently stands, this just might be legal.
[re=296636]chascates[/re]: God, Chas, I’m gonna need something a little stronger than beer.
“But it will probably just end up being 13 Paultards in clown costumes eating french fries together at Chili’s.”
Shouldn’t that be Freedom Fries?
” One million…hey, if we could get ten million, that would be better, A peaceful demonstration…we will all be armed…a million armed millitiamen and millitiawomen….”
Wow, I can’t see how that kind of thing could turn ugly at all, do you? What could be safer or more peaceful than amillion people, armed to the teeth, all packed into a few square miles? Why didn’t we think of this before?
Ok, uhhh..just what the fuck are they protesting??
“A one-million man militia, armed, peaceful demonstration…”
Has the same oxymoronic quality as “Bush Library” or “Palin Reading Room.”
I only live in Ohio, I am not from this God-forsaken state.
This sounds like a relaxing day out. I’ll bring nerve gas and some car bombs.
They need to work on their website, as their current one SUCX
And they plan to accomplish what exactly with this march?
[re=296636]chascates[/re]: And white robe concession.
But how will these fucktards know if they have 1M people there or not? It’s not like any of them can count higher than how much ammo fills a magazine clip.
I remember how supportive these people were during the REAL Million Man March, in which unarmed black men peacefully marched. They were greeted with such enthusiasm.
Their Goddess.
http://patterico.com/wp/wp-content/images/fake-sarah-palin-bikini-photo.jpg
This must be the “Eliminationist Bonus Army” that the libtards at Daily Kos have been sweating about this week. How it works is, you take normal Busheviks and expose them to hate talk radio, and then they become “Eliminationists!”
There’s been a run on guns and ammo in this country, and now these guys want to parade down the street with their new toys. Do not like the looks of this.
Why do you need to be armed for a peaceful demonstration?
Also a million man march? Way to steal an idea from actual black muslins.
On more thing, that guy kind of sounds like White Power Bill from Arrested Development.
I’m not clicking on the link but it looks like they’re using footage from the Million Man (negro) march or Barry’s inauguration. I guess the irony of that totally escapes them, eh?
This youtube is a lot like College recruiting pamphlets. In this case lots of fit guys carrying weapons and know how to use them when in reality it’s 50 fat guys in skin tight camo trackpants calling each other colonel, field marshal or Emperor of Ohio and bitching about how some Muslin fucked everything up for the white man.
That guy is 19 years old at MOST.
@the video:
you’re*
Jesus Christ, these crackers won’t be happy until they taint every damn hobby I have. I’m embarrassed to own a damn gun. Pray god they don’t advocate smokin’ the weed.
What the fuck do they write on the permit request?
[re=296660]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: No, that was footage from a Leni Riefenstahl documentary…
[re=296651]wheelie[/re]: …and i’ll bring the sandwiches.
Let’s pour some gassoline on this:
“What’s happening RIGHT NOW in Washington, D.C. could spell disaster for YOUR guns and YOUR Second Amendment rights!
Hundreds of gun-ban politicians, political appointees and bureaucrats are now writing regulations, casting votes and passing laws that could all but eliminate your right to own a gun. Their agenda starts with licensing, registering, fingerprinting, inspecting and cataloging every firearm, firearm owner and firearm transfer in the United States …
… And it ends with an outright ban on your guns!
https://membership.nrahq.org/forms/signup.asp?CampaignID=XR021030
So, if it’s possible to put a million (hey, maybe 10 million) heavily armed fighting men and women onto the streets of Washington, D.C. on short notice, how is it we’re still losing in Afghanistan?
That’s either Kanye West or the thickest Rust-Belt accent I have ever heard.
So the guy who won’t use his real voice wants to have a march? Wouldn’t he have to, like, show up to the march and thus reveal his secret identity (Batman??)?
How long before they work a sponsorship deal with Fox?
[re=296673]proudgrampa[/re]: I think this one was called, “Triumph of the Wit.”
[re=296676]gurukalehuru[/re]: what i want to know is where were these wannabes when the army was hiring? assholes
With a gun and pack of sandwiches.
Jim, the next time you post a video narrated by someone using some kind of electronic voice altering dealie so that he sounds like a serial killer taunting the police over the phone while wearing a suit made of human sking, can you warn us please, so we can prepare for the nightmares? Thanks.
Because the only thing July 4th in the District needs to make it absolutely magical is one million guns…
And the YOUR/YOU’RE thing just proves their point so well. Idiots.
Are the gun stores legit yet in DC? There’s a big opening here for Wonkabout: “If you’re planning a leisurely militia march in the nation’s capital any time soon, why not check out Angry Frank’s Weapon World, the delightful new boutique arms dealership. Mention Wonkabout and you will get a free grenade.”
The military doesn’t even issue live rounds to troops until they get to the firing range, live fire exercises, or combat. And about 10,000 different Jim Bobs and Leroys are not going to maintain muzzle control.
oooh… major LULZ this summer.
[re=296676]gurukalehuru[/re]: Here’s a plan to get them to Afghanistan: have a booth at the march called “Meet Sarah Palin.” When they show up, have them sign a form and tell them something vague about it being a photo release — only it’s really enlistment papers. Then tell them she’s in that desert camo truck over there. They get in the truck and … bye, bye.
I’m all in favor. That many idiots with guns? They are bound to start shooting each other at some point.
Think Bentsen/Quayle debate:
Mr. Militia Leader, I grew up in Ohio; I know Ohio; Ohio is a friend of mine. Sir, you’re no Ohioian.
This is a great idea! We need more heavily armed REAL AMERICANS visiting the nation’s capital. Um yeah.
[re=296660]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: You want to sample some real fear? Go to ohiomilitia.com. Warning: scroll to the bottom asap to turn off the Metallica track that plays as background music.
Remember, “no felons, just regular militiamen and women.” (How can they get a million of them together if you discount the felons?)
My favorite part is how he tries to obscure his voice by merely slowing it down. I’m sure the FBI won’t figure that out.
[re=296676]gurukalehuru[/re]: No Afghans within easy commuting distance.
[re=296690]chascates[/re]: You’re obviously one of those liberal fascists for saying that, like the people who run the Army. John Jefferson and George Washington Carver said you could have grenades and Uzis in your pockets, you commie moonbat!
My favorite part is how he obscures his voice merely by slowing it down. The FBI definitely won’t be able to figure it out.
IT IS NOT SHORT SHORT SHORT.
GIVE JUSTICE TO THE NAME!!!!111one!
“BE THERE IF YOUR A TRUE PATRIOT!!!!”
Well, at least they scored 50% on the there/their/they’re-your/you’re test.
The best documentary EVER on whackadoodle wingnuts aka “The Church of the Aryan Nation”, by a Brit, Louis Theroux, on the best TeeVee show ever “Louis Theroux Weird Weekends”, Aryan Nation bit starts at 4:00. This is on Survivalists in America aka Klan members.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OoRMR398cU
why didn’t i think of this? armed protesters for peace,it’s so simple.
[re=296710]rhughes2270[/re]: Ohhh…so it’s the fancy work of a synthesizer! I was thinking this dude must have to pack around his balls in a wheelbarrow.
When the assemble on the Mall (yes, yes, theoretically, because goodGodAlmighty this must never happen), why don’t they all form a huge circle, face inwards and let their natural instincts sort of take over from there?
Boy, I’m glad I’m not going to be near Our Nation’s Capital this 4th.
And to various Wonketeers, sorta in reverse order as I comment and scroll upwards:
McDuff, I too was an Ohioan, proudly, for three years back in the mid-70s – you’re spot on. Jukesgrrl, a brilliant solution – send it to DOD.
Woodward’s Friend, another spot on observation. Lay down dem arms if’n you’re (not your *cringe*) so gol-darned pacific.
Mild Midwesterner, you’ve gone to the crux of the matter. Win for you, in my opinion.
This sort of insanity makes me really question the wisdom of the Second Amendment. Could the Founding Fathers have imagined lunatics like these?
Concession stands should sell whiskey, amphetamines and fire-crackers.
Well I for one am glad to know that Lurch has broadened his horizons and decided to be something other than a butler.
“peaceful” demonstation = every demonstrator is carrying a piece
You say this takes place in July? I’m pretty sure we’ll be okay since that’s not nearly enough time for any of them to actually locate Washington D.C. on a map.
[re=296727]Bronkers[/re]: Shhh….don’t say “Mall” or all their girlfriends will want to come.
[re=296636]chascates[/re]: And they’ll be armed! Yip-yip-yipee. I’m willing to empty my savings account (i.e. the pretzel tin under my sink) to place kegs and taps in the middle of the parade route. Let the hilarity ensue and the good times roll.
I’m actually O.K. with this, as long as it has absolutely nothing whatsover to do with teabags. Jeebus.
So, it is the 4th of July and if firecrackers sound like gunshots, what are 1,000,000 (or even just 43) armed rednecks who are afraid of non-white DC “natives” gonna do? RETURN FIRE, of course.
[re=296728]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Also in demand will be pork rinds, text of the 2nd Amendment printed on camo paper, and that fake picture of Sarah Palin holding an AR-15.
What a bunch of deranged fuckwits. They think that Obama is gonna take away
their guns, so they’re all gonna go gather with said guns in one place
really close to the POTUS? Scoop ‘em all up, send them to Afwherethefuckistan.
[re=296739]Custerwolf[/re]: LOL. And what a beauty pagent that would be. Think there’d be a full quota of teeth amongst the lot of them?
I don’t know how to break this to them, but I’m pretty sure every cop, army and secret service handbook on crowd control defines “peaceful” protest as “unarmed”.
Is it just me or does anyone else view this as an act of terrorism?
TRUCK. NUTZ. CONCESSION!!!
[re=296635]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Um…how about those same angry rednecks happening upon a group of vicious, heavily-armed, drug-dealing gang members? Two birds, as they say.
[re=296676]gurukalehuru[/re]: I think you should ask them that very question. And then probably duck and cover.
[re=296680]Scandinavian Fetus[/re]: Regarding Texasbulldoggette’s, Leni Riefenstahl comment, I meant that it looks more like “Triumph of the Twit” instead of “Wit.”
For the love of Christ, the way a missing letter can change the meaning of a post!
Two questions – 1. Is the aspect ratio off on that video, or are the militiamen all really fat?
2. Have any of them tried going to the Mall on the 4th of July lately? It’s tough even getting a diaper bag through all the checkpoints and Jersey walls. I don’t think a couple rifles and a thousand rounds would fare too well.
[re=296769]Scandinavian Fetus[/re]: Actually, it was my comment, but that’s OK.
It’s been a long day of blogging.
Come to think of it, doesn’t The Mall get reserved on the 4th for the Philharmonic’s concert — you know, the one where thousands and thousands of peaceable people listen to beautiful music in the dark evening, cheer the fireworks, and the teevees show pix of current enlisted folk saluting the flag… and I get all teary-eyed as I watch?
Mahousu, as to your 2. – you betcha, also.
A million armed wingnuts standing shoulder to shoulder on the Washington Mall?
Two words: KILL ZONE.
[re=296755]twowheeljunkie[/re]: No. This is a perfectly safe and peaceful veiled threat of bloody insurrection. You’re ruining it for everyone.
Great opportunity for a Soylent Green harvest, if you know what I mean
Uhm, point? Is there a point to this clusterfuck? What are they demonstrating against/for? It sounds like a parade of armed nutjobs.
These fucking right wingers. They’re so cute when they attempt to use their primitive brains. Gotta love’em!
[re=296676]gurukalehuru[/re]: 1 million armed men march my ass. Half those over-weight, over the hill redneck fuckers would have a heart attack if they every had to shoot at anything that could shot back. They dress in camo and run around in the woods playing soldier, but wouldn’t get within a hundred miles of a real firefight. Just a bunch of over grown children.
It was impossible for me to watch this and not immediately think of Delocated.
Our Founding Fathers, all rational sons of the Enlightenment, probably had these numb-nuts in mind when they designed the Senate to act as a check on the “passions” of the mob that would be electing the House of Representatives.
However, I doubt the Founders, familiar only with 3-rounds-a-minute flintlocks and militia that usually ran at the first sight of British bayonets, ever considered the “leveling” effect of semi- and full-auto weapons. If the Founders had, my guess is that there would be no House and no 2nd Amendment.
[re=296807]proudcitizen[/re]: “Just a bunch of over grown children.”
Yes, but with guns, lots of guns.
[re=296671]ChernobylSoup[/re]: Sedition.
[re=296755]twowheeljunkie[/re]: I see it as an act of dunderheadedism.
Michael Scott always said Chilis was the best place to get some business done.
Is Richard Poplawski gonna be leading this army into town?
If he wants to be taken seriously that no one will be hurt, he might have tried not using the same voice filter that the killer uses in those Saw murder movies.
I predict this video will mark the point of wholesale rejection of the typeface Papyrus for use as a serious font. Henceforth it will be used only ironically, like Comic Sans.
[re=296719]Nerdalicious[/re]: “Blood in the Face” was pretty informative too.
[re=296787]proudgrampa[/re]: My bad. I have been watching TIVO’s of Glen Beck for 72 hours straight. I will get into the Guiness Book, Goddammit.
pussies took the video down. Wow — I’m impressed by their Militia balls.
[re=296809]McDuff[/re]: The founders (or their children) were pretty dazzled by a demonstration for Congress of interchangeable parts in the early 1800s. A cartridge that incorporated bullet, wadding, spark, and — will wonders never cease? — smokeless powder into one neat, inexpensive, easy-to-use package would have been completely beyond their ken.
Where is this “original intent” I’ve heard so much about?
Holy crap! They locked down the video. Buncha pansies…
It’ll be easier for Obama to put them in his re-education camps, if they come to DC all at once.
Maybe they locked up the video to try and keep LIBRAL MEDIA TANK from talking about it
Dammit. How will I know where to go now?
[re=296828]leftcoaster[/re]: Papyrus lost all credibility when it started appearing on inspirational posters.
This is obviously the work of sad teabaggers whose feelings were hurt when the gay libral media made fun of them.
Bwaa…Wonkette broke their video. Oh and shorts, that imbecile.
man I hope he adds me as a friend so I can reupload this thing. Didn’t any of you fools think to download it?
All this just because The Ohio State University has lousy football teams?
[re=296802]BadKitty[/re]: They’re not demonstrating. They’re *compensating*.
That was like a chopped and screwed version of Red Dawn.
[re=296853]Scandinavian Fetus[/re]: I think you should just drink some Guinness. A lot less painful.
So they want to go and throw a tantrum with the express purpose of trying to intimidate the U.S. government. Cute. Too bad the “evil government” would puss out on nerve gassing the useless fucks.
THEY PULLED THE VIDEO FROM YOUTUBE
http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/?p=2199
BUT WE HAVE IT BACK AGAIN THANKS TO A TIP. MWAH.
Please please wear ski masks and cammo gear.
I know many people who who would volunteer for services protecting the whitehouse.
Can’t we just start selling ammo that explodes inside of guns, blowing off the users hands?
“13 Paultards in clown costumes eating french fries together at Chili’s”
That’s a pretty good description of the Last Supper- we just need Obama to crucify one of them on a cross of gold a week later.
“This mesquite barbecue buffalo wing, this is my flesh, eat of it and remember me. This Strawberry Mango Margarita is my blood, drink of it, and remember me.”
[re=296861]hailripley[/re]: well they don’t want people watching their ad, surely you can understand that! it’s like sexy-parts, you have to cover them up to make the people want them!
[re=296646]Tommmcatt[/re]: Dontcha mean “Armed to the tooth?”
[re=296678]Dave J.[/re]: Nah- he’ll have his white hood on- that’ll fool ‘em.
[re=297161]Tomthebunny[/re]: LOfuckingL!
[re=296853]Scandinavian Fetus[/re]: I’m picturing William Hurt in “Altered States.”
Note to Militia Members: this is how the Neanderthals got extinct.
Two words: carpet bombing.
Goddamn it. I should have sent this tip to ShortsandPants and Wonkette so I would have gotten credit for this, instead of that Short Short Short guy, whoever he is…
Anyways, WOLVERINES!
And no, these people are not representative of Ohio. We’re not like those fucktards in Texas, who are all a bunch of Tom DeLays, George W. Bushes, and Joe Bartons.
[re=297322]Brendan M.[/re]: Hey! I credited you in the post! JESUS WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME?
[re=297328]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Stop taking credit for Short Short Short’s work. Now that guy is nice and considerate, and always credits people.
But I was merely talking about the prospect of having an acknowledgment to “Brenda” on a big-time blog like Wonkette, rather than just a mega-huge, up-and-coming blog like ShortsandPants.
[re=296676]gurukalehuru[/re]: I can’t agree more!
I am sitting here in Afghanistan right now, 18 miles from the Pakistani border. Where where these a-holes when we needed them out here? Hell, why aren’t they here now?! If they want to play soldier and “defend the country” believe me, there are plenty of opportunities here.
I am so sick of these overarmed, underintelligent, fat-assed children running around playing Army. Some innocent people are going to get killed because of this stupidity.
The other thing I am sick of is when I get back to the US, having to listen to their drivel,and listen to them praise me one moment for going to Iraq, Sudan, and Afghanistan (in their stead, mind you), and in the next breath cursed out as un-American when I tell them I voted for Obama.
I would give every dime I have to send those fucktards over here. Their fat-asses would run back on the transport as fast as their stubby little legs would carry them, crying for mommy and daddy all the way.
I sincerely hope they are in DC when I am home on leave. I will gladly dress down one of these sleezebags, even if he is “armed and dangerous”.
Thank you for your attention, we now rejoin our snark already in progress.
[re=297383]BigLar[/re]: whoa.
[re=297391]Custerwolf[/re]: …and…um….thanks, man.
[re=297383]BigLar[/re]:Oh, forget those losers and have a good time on leave instead.We’ll be sending them to Wonkette Re-educations Kamps once we coax them all into showing up in the same place and signing their names on the email petitions.Then they will be buttsexxed, plural gay married and given pashto nicknames.Not that that will change their minds about anything but it will be fun and no, it’s not torture.
[re=297383]BigLar[/re]: Don’t be a stranger. We’re here all week. Be safe.
Lo and behold:
Have the materials and tools to repair the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, the T. Jefferson Memorial sea wall, and the District of Columbia War Memorial laid out; press gang these retrograde fucks when they arrive en masse, and like a bunch of ‘ol timey Imperial hinterland wog sepoys, and put ‘em to work. Pay them a modest per diem, if you prefer. Shades of Neo-Kommie-Muslin CCC!
They keep complaining about the munniez that O. put forth to spruce up the old place. This will shut ‘em up, and good…
Brought to you, in part by, Ted K.’s Happy Funtime Servin’ ‘Murica Act!
Was there real audio on the original? Because the thing on shorts’ website is just a stupid parody, and about as funny as the median SNL sketch.
[re=297383]BigLar[/re]: My man!!!!!!
[re=297383]BigLar[/re]: and watch your ass! also.
fffuuuuuuck I want to see this. I’m thinking of just starting up a new youtube account with lots of militia/racist shit so I can be his friend and see it.
[re=297383]BigLar[/re]: Well put man. I’m really hoping that this actually happens and that these idiots really do try marching around DC with guns so they all get arrested/shit and everyone realizes how insane these people are.
[re=297322]Brendan M.[/re]: Fuck you. Love, Texas.
[re=297391]Custerwolf[/re]: [re=297394]Custerwolf[/re]: Seconded.
[re=297475]Lazy Media[/re]: Yeah, the original was pretty similar, but more Red Dawn-esque. It also made less sense than the parody.
[re=297658]Aloysius[/re]: Fucking foreigners, always with the whiny anti-Americanism.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfKHH_Fkzzg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfKHH_Fkzzg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfKHH_Fkzzg
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