HEADS WILL ROLL  9:57 am April 21, 2009

‘The Lawyers, However, Are Another Story’

by Sara K. Smith

This guy, can we prosecute this guy?Well thanks for clearing that up, “administration officials”! On Sunday Rahm Emanuel suggested that “those who devised policy” around torture wouldn’t be prosecuted, but by yesterday other Obama people were rushing to walk that one back. What he meant, apparently, was that officials who ordered the torture shouldn’t be prosecuted, but the lawyers who devised the legal rationale maybe could.

That is certainly better than nothing, but jesus christ, at the end of the day we may see three (3) bad lawyers disbarred for this? Not even a hearty public shaming for the many high-ranking non-lawyers who were involved, such as the president and vice president and secretary of defense? That is just no fun at all.

Fortunately, Barack Obama doesn’t just get to decide who can be prosecuted and who can’t, and maybe Diane Feinstein and her Torture Panel will make some accusations of their own.

Pressure Grows to Investigate Interrogations [New York Times]


Hola wonkerados.

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Crab1 April 21, 2009 at 10:00 am

Instead of prosecution maybe would should just interrogate them and see what useful information they can give us.

AllHat April 21, 2009 at 10:02 am

Dr. Strangecheney

Zadig April 21, 2009 at 10:02 am

Also good news is that Eric Holder is getting upset about all the Obama people trying to be Attorney General, when HELLO? OVER HERE?

He’s said he might get outside counsel to push forward on this stuff.

pat robertsons personal trainer April 21, 2009 at 10:02 am

fortunately cheney & bush both hate lawyers and the law. they should be in the clear on this one. our long national nightmare is over.

nonbeliever7 April 21, 2009 at 10:03 am

Well, I feel bad for all those Bushies responsible…all this back and forth uncertainty about their life must be like tortu….oh wait…I get it… well played Democrats, well played…

Terry April 21, 2009 at 10:03 am


Waterboarding 180 or so times in a month? Seems reasonable.

snideinplainsight April 21, 2009 at 10:07 am

Cheney will punish them for this

…right after he floods Gotham with icebergs and robotic penguins. Whah! Whah! Whah!

Guppy06 April 21, 2009 at 10:07 am

“and maybe Diane Feinstein and her Torture Panel will make some accusations of their own”

Yes, we can all expect Congressional Democrats to do the right thing, just like they’ve been doing for the past 2.5 years!

This isn’t some Twilight Zone episode, the real Congress makes noise and does nothing.

Bearbloke April 21, 2009 at 10:08 am

Can we waterboard Cheney in his wheelchair?

WadISay April 21, 2009 at 10:09 am

[re=294900]Crab1[/re]: A “stress position” would include driving Chevy Caviliers and drinking boxed Chablis blush.

Cape Clod April 21, 2009 at 10:10 am

[re=294908]Terry[/re]: Especially if it is done at a black site in Poland. Afterwards, they can leave them in the middle of some road in Bosnia.

hobospacejunkie April 21, 2009 at 10:11 am

Extraordinary rendition of Bybee, Bush, Darth Cheney, et. al., to a country committed to the prosecution of torturers would be a win-win solution for everyone. I’m sure Bybee wrote an opinion justifying rendition, and Obama wouldn’t be pissing off the entire CIA by having his DOJ prosecute.

freakishlystrong April 21, 2009 at 10:12 am

Just days after Obama shook hands and received a gift from Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez, Cheney called the images of the encounter “not helpful.” “I think it sets the wrong standard,” Cheney added.

Thanks Dick, we know your standard. Not helpful indeed.

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 21, 2009 at 10:15 am

[re=294917]Bearbloke[/re]: My thoughts exactly. Or, failing that, a witchcraft trial sorta thing, where they tie Cheney to a board and dunk him in the river. If he floats, he’s innocent. If he drowns, mission accomplished!

Internally valid April 21, 2009 at 10:17 am

Prosecuting the lawyers is like going after the Vogons.

randem April 21, 2009 at 10:18 am

The entire Bush administration should be put through the enhanced interrogation methods that they all approved.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! April 21, 2009 at 10:19 am

Hahahaha, you libtards! Cheney isn’t stoopid. He knew there was a 20% chance he’d have to leave office instead of having a coup.

That being said, he is waiting to unveil exact audio recordings of all sessions. You will hear CIA types pleading over and over, “Why are you hitting yourself? Stop hitting yourself!!”

The defense will rest.

And Miss California will play the Tommy Skin Kazoo.

AngryBlakGuy April 21, 2009 at 10:20 am

…this is going to turn into a full blown “War Crime Tribunal” if they play their cards right. Because anyone who thinks that a lawyer is going to take the fall for this crimes against humanity cluster-fukk is crazy. They are going to maneuver for some kind of slap on the wrist in exchange for selling out the higher ups in the administration(much the same way Libby was going too). That is the reason why Cheney has been coming out of his sarcophagus so much lately pushing the “ends justify the means” meme in the media.

shortsshortsshorts April 21, 2009 at 10:23 am

Feinstein doesn’t believe in torture, not even for the fucks of the previous administration, sadly.

Zadig April 21, 2009 at 10:24 am

[re=294922]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: No, it’s supposed to be that if they float, “they’re a witch, kill it with fire!” If they drown, well, oops.

AngryBlakGuy April 21, 2009 at 10:25 am

[re=294923]Internally valid[/re]: …prosecuting the lawyers is the equivalent of prosecuting the greedy gun shop owner who sells high powered assault rifles out the back door to known to gangbangers for a quick buck.

SayItWithWookies April 21, 2009 at 10:26 am

Not even a hearty public shaming for the many high-ranking non-lawyers who were involved, such as the president and vice president and secretary of defense?

I’m sure if Bybee, Bradbury, Yoo, Addington, Gonzales, Feith and anyone else were to get convicted, we’d find that they acted on their own, independent of any overseeing executive. Though once the smaller fry are prosecuted, there should be so much evidence implicating their bosses that not trying them would be criminal of itself.

And even if Dubya isn’t tried (and it would be hard to do so here, given the Constitutional definition of impeachment) he’s singularly destroyed the credibility of the Conservative movement, the value of the MBA, and shown the Republican party to be such a snakeball of homophobic, authoritarian exceptionalist imperialist medieval throwbacks that the party should end its days in obscurity and shame. Which might be some consolation.

artbot2000 April 21, 2009 at 10:28 am

[re=294904]Zadig[/re]: Zadig, you are hysterical. I mean that in a good way.

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 21, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=294932]Zadig[/re]: Either way, win-win, I say!

Jerk Cade April 21, 2009 at 10:35 am

[re=294903]AllHat[/re]: Dr. Stangehate

AngryBlakGuy April 21, 2009 at 10:42 am

[re=294930]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: …come on shorts! We dont call it “torture” anymore, it ENHANCED INTERROGATION! Oh yeah, we are changing the following legal terms as well:

Murder = Sending people to a better place.

Rape = “Her mouth said no, but her eyes said yes”

Theft = Borrowing without permission

Assault & Battery = Their face ran into my fist

arclight April 21, 2009 at 10:50 am

[re=294900]Crab1[/re]: That was so full of win!!!!!!!!!!!

shortsshortsshorts April 21, 2009 at 10:56 am

[re=294947]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: It is a well known saying in the “enhanced interrogation” world that no means yes, and yes means more.

That is the only way to do it.

prototype April 21, 2009 at 10:59 am

Barry is always a hundred steps ahead of everyone else

BadKitty April 21, 2009 at 11:00 am

“Not even a hearty public shaming for the many high-ranking non-lawyers who were involved, such as the president and vice president and secretary of defense? ”

Put ‘em in the stocks in the village square! Let the citizens throw tomatoes at them! Or rocks. Or grenades. Whatever’s handy.

engulfedinflames April 21, 2009 at 11:07 am

i still question the wheelchair..”.hurt his back moving boxes” just doesn’t smell right, ” lowering his head from the line of fire” makes more sense. in any case fuck this fucking fuck to eternity and back again, twice.

smartypants April 21, 2009 at 12:04 pm

Seems like all that waterboarding would have produced bin Laden. I mean, come ON, Dick. You’re the one dragging poor Walnuts into this. If it worked on him THEN, well…you see my meaning.

But maybe you’ve got OBL in your cellar, saving him for a rainy day. So like you, you scamp.

iolanthe April 21, 2009 at 12:27 pm

[re=294914]Guppy06[/re]: Especially Dianne Feinstein, the most useless faux-Liberal piece of shit ever. Terrible Senator.

She won’t do shit. She has the courage — and imagination! — of a retarded guppy, but the “hold onto my seat at all costs!” acumen and fundraising ability of the child of Machiavelli by some old Chicago wardheeler.

Don’t you remember? She never actually met any Bush appointees, or policies, that she didn’t just *LOVE*! Loved ‘em all. Voted to confirm all of ‘em.

And when something like 75,000 of her constituents — you know, three or four Tea Parties’ worth — wrote to her, *begging* her to oppose the War on Iraq, she sent back one of her incomparable “Mommy Knows Best, and Got to Read Important Secret Documents You Will Never See, So She’s Sticking to her Crappy Decision, No Matter *WHAT* You Chumps Who Keep Voting For Me Want!” constituent letters.

It was just like the one about the holy War on Drugs, only with a different issue cut-n-pasted in.

She’s a Law Enforcement pro-Defense War-on-Drugs Whore. That’s all. She’s also the Junior Senator from Israel, as far as I can tell.

How I wish some Cali democrat with cojones would challenge her. At least Boxer called Condi Rice a liar. But Feinstein is absofuckinglutely the bloated self-satisfied face of the Impotent Shiteating Corrupt Wing of the Democratic Party.

Dianne Feinstein is a slender reed indeed, should you ever want any actual justice to prevail.

Snarxon's Holler April 21, 2009 at 12:41 pm

That Nobama is not just a great celebrity, but one clever politician, also.

Good Cop Nobama: We don’t really need to prosecute anybody for THESE HERE CRIMES *flashes torture memos*, do we?

Bad Cop Murkenpeeplz: THE HELL WE DON’T!!

Good Cop Nobama: : )

Pizzuti April 21, 2009 at 12:41 pm

I think Obama knows there will be a legal battle over this. He doesn’t want political fallout.

If he goes on record as having opposed prosecuting so and so, he avoids losing political capital when prosecutions, inevitably, take place.

Snarxon's Holler April 21, 2009 at 12:46 pm

[re=295060]Pizzuti[/re]: We just said the same thing, huh?

madtowngooner April 21, 2009 at 12:52 pm

First, kill all the lawyers.


proudgrampa April 21, 2009 at 1:08 pm

It’s Special Prosecutor Time…

Hooray For Anything April 21, 2009 at 1:34 pm

[re=295036]iolanthe[/re]: DiFi is wimpy, wimpy, wimpy- one of those politicians who gets off on being seen as moderate and so hems and haws over everything and chickens out on all the difficult stuff lest she gets seen as “too liberal.”

Snarxon’s Holler- Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter

bamaboy April 21, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Send the whole goddamned lot of them to the International Court in Hague and let the Europeans sort it out.

lulzmonger April 21, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Obama has this funny habit of making opponents his bitch, & this issue is no exception … Bush is probably well on his way to a case of the DTs, & Cheney must be doubling up on tranquilizers by the day by now.

Watch & see – I think the threat of their names becoming synonymous with “sociopathic toady” might be enough to get some of those lawyers to sing in exchange for anonymity. ANONYMOUS DELIVERS! If not, there’s always Subpoena Tag.

Bruno April 21, 2009 at 8:18 pm


If we decide to persecute the lawyers, it will just make them madder, and more willing to wage jihad on the rest of us with their frivolous class action lawsuits, ambulance chasing, birth certificate challenges and what not.

zhubajie April 22, 2009 at 9:24 pm

[re=294927]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: This is probably what the Spanish judge has in mind. He does have quite a lot of experience dealing with terrorists and war criminals.

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie April 22, 2009 at 9:27 pm

[re=294975]engulfedinflames[/re]: Yes, I wondered about that too. Wouldn’t his CIA guards have done the heavy lifting? Doesn’t he have a 100 eunuchs at hand at all times to do his bidding?

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie April 22, 2009 at 10:53 pm

[re=295060]Pizzuti[/re]: Lots of Dem administrations have been torturing people, as well, over the 50-60 years of the Imperial Presidency. Current senior Dems probably have lots of blood on their hands.

Zhu Bajie

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