Wonkette
Having successfully completed a hilarious stack of FAIL on Tax Day, the Teabagging Cultists will next flap their testicles against the mouth of 9/11, our nation’s most holy day of remembrance. Just six months or so from right now, the fantastic teabagging momentum will strike again, as America sheds its tears over the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks on the places wingnuts and teabaggers hate most: Washington DC and New York City.
On September 12, these fanatics will launch the next treacherous attack on America, as they gather in Washington and fling their black sacks at the American Dream.
Many of you have been discussing the next steps for the “tea party” movement. I’ve heard some great ideas about how to follow up on our historic day. I’d like to share some of those with you, and ask you to save the date for another big day: 9-12-2009.
FreedomWorks will be partnering with other like-minded grassroots organizations and local organizers to plan a massive, historic March on Washington on September 12, 2009 at the U.S. Capitol.
But how to get around DC? The Teabaggers suggest, of course, that you use Washington’s public transportation system, the Metro.
If you want to help the teabaggers piss on the graves of the 9/11 dead, we encourage you to sign up NOW. You must volunteer, make signs, bake special cupcakes, and offer your backyard to these poor saps who need to protest tax brackets they’ll never encounter even in passing unless they happen to be the clerk who sells Bubba the winning PowerBall ticket.
09.12.09 National Tea Party [912dc.org]
There is no better way to remember 9/11 than by pulling together as a country and overthrowing the government.
Oh PLEEEZ let me give them directions here in NYC. We have a surprisingly effective “escort service” for teh wingtards, also.
The wingnuts will brilliantly connect in the minds of america the 9-11 attacks, taxes, tea, and some kind of “low-left” sex act, and also, somehow, the French. Win!
So, they couldn’t get organized enough to pull off a July 4 rehash? What a shock. I guess they have to save up from TWO quarters of disability checks.
Makes we want to rent a crop duster and head for the smell of tea…
No disrespect meant for the real victims of 9/11, even on a snark site.
don’t these people have jobs?
THE 9/12 PROJECT.
Hating terrorists for 9/11= HIGHER TAXES.
Seriously what the hell? Can we get these death-squads going? I’ll sign up.
Oh hey look — it has a comments section that seems to be unmoderated. Is anyone else with me in our determination to crawl through DC on bloody stumps instead of subsidizing government-controlled transportation?
For their next act of defiance, 4/15 Teabaggers will be throwing Rusty Trombones (TM) onto the grounds of national monuments and landmarks. The first runner up for the next protest was to dress and act like Angry Pirates (TM) in remembrance of Hussein B. Teleprompter’s ordering of the murder of three black teenagers on the high seas. They are also considering killing Frothy Walruses (TM) to counteract this new “gives a shit about the environment” policy of the governmental agencies charged with the duty of protecting the environment. Lovers of deviant sex and esoteric jokes about the same rejoice!
Let’s see, what else do taxes pay for? Um. Killing terrorists? Or is the war in Afghanistan now being funded through voluntary remittances?
Grassroots=Glenn Beck campaign. Now it makes sense to me, I had a confuzed before.
I don’t think there were many “black sacks” swinging at the tax day tea parties. Just sayin’.
Next, on Civic Jeopardy:
Alex Trebek: And the answer is ‘Teabagger suggestion that tax protesters use Washington’s public transportation system’.
Wonkette contestant: What are suggestions from people who are unclear on the concept?
Alex Trebek: That is correct!
So, the 9/12 travel agent ? Joanne Griffing, has a little facebook thing going and she links to the local Ri teabagger terror cell on facebook, where we find this insightful gem:
Jesse H. Edwards III we need to gather and let our voices be heard! with talking monkeys like the ones who “represent” us in Washington we should gather @ the state house on 4/15 and let them know how we feel about our slide to socialism.
quell friggin bore
shortsshortsshorts: I’m with you.
Aux armes, citoyens,
Formez vos bataillons,
Marchons, marchons!
Qu’un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons!
Teabagging on 9/11 makes Baby Jebus cry.
RubberSoul: They’re all self-unemployed. As you have surmised, if they had real bosses, they wouldn’t even have time to think up these silly slogans, let alone craft the crappy home-made signs they wave around. Every time I see a picture of one of these “teabagging events” I wonder which government entity that they’re against had to clean up after these fools.
Comment under the Metro map:
“Public transportation? Hell no — we will not subsidize a government takeover of the automobile industry! Enough is enough! I would rather crawl through DC on bloody stumps. Bloody Stumpers Unite!”
I think it’s about 50-50 whether it was a Wonketteer or a Tea Bagger. Either hilarious or really, really retarded. Hooray, let’s drive instead on (government built and subsidized roads) and across the Potomac on a bridge whic his inspected by the government and such. We’ll let the libtards and poors ride the Metro.
RubberSoul: Who are the worst unemployed people: teabaggers, or G-8 protesters? Discuss.
“IS Obama French?”
Wrong question.
“DOES Obama French?” That’s what Light Colonel Raphie Peters REALLY wants to know.
I am the Tea, you are the Bag, Play me.
Only you folks will appreciate this insanity:
http://tispaquin.blogspot.com/2009/04/i-am-tea-you-are-bag.html
The Cold Sea: They even have a better national anthem. Day-um.
Oh, hey, another Hopey accomplishment: he got through Patriot’s Day and most of Hitler’s Birthday without some kinda rightwing nutjob attack. That beats Bill Clinton. Has the quality of America’s Nazis fallen off, or is the FBI perhaps paying attention to “conservative” militants?
vitira: Thank you, you’re too kind.
And come on people, let’s pile on!
SayItWithWookies: Done.
http://912dc.org/2009/04/do-you-want-to-be-part-of-the-bloggers-alliance/#comment-25
Canuckledragger: Ha — they have discovered the delete button over there.
Canuckledragger: The fucker’s moderated. So my comment from “Vaj Army” disappeared.
shortsshortsshorts: FEMA Camps FTW.
Canuckledragger:
“Absolutely frightening that we are on the verge of permanently loosing our country”
Damn! The teabaggers are “loosing” now.
So the idea of 9/12 is to evoke the mood of the country on the day after Sept. 11, right? I don’t know about the rest of you, but as I recall, I spent that particular Wednesday alternating between curling up in the back of a closet to suck my thumb and peeing myself at every loud noise. This is exactly what America needs more of.
I think he meant to say I IS a college student:
I am a college student in a big college. I am a history major so I know a lot about history. And let me tell you. The socialists are taking over. I have nothing to look forward to because the government is spending all my money before I even make any. So I will be there on September 12 to protest in favor of liberty and freedom. I will bring many of my college student friends along from many different colleges. We will have fun but also be serious because this is very serious.
See you there!
On April 15th, one of the teabaggers left a pair of Florsheim-looking shoes at the entrance to the Oregon Capitol. In the left shoe was a pair of tea bags. Is this some cryptic teabagger code? Is it a statement of defiance, like We will teabag you from head to toe?
Of course, today somebody left a giant inflatable crab with sunglasses at the entrance to the Capitol, so maybe I’m reading too much into it.
If there’s nothing else that those 3000 people in the WTC died for, it’s for lower capital gains tax.
Lower capital gains tax and the right to bear arms (at a reasonable price)!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
I swear I’m not making this up — this comment is from here:
What a wonderful way to remember our fellow citizens who were brutally murdered on 9/11. I swear, if we had taken control of goverment before, none of that would have happened.
Yeah, the reason 9/11 happened was that nobody in favor of cutting taxes was in charge. Damn that Bill Clinton! When is someone going to bring these scoundrels to justice?
The Cold Sea: Can we at least visit them at home to make a searching inventory of all their good shit for purposes of future socialist redistribution.
The two greatest days in our nations history: The Boston Tea Party and 9/11! Stand up to tyranny and taxes and governments! God is great!!! Aaaaiiiiaaaiii!!
Q. How do you keep a teabagger busy for hours?
A. Give him a card with, “please hand this broom to a fellow teabagger”.
SayItWithWookies: Ssshhh, wookie, don’t blow my cover! Wonder how long my comment will stay up?
The New Deal built something like 20,000 new bridges, 200 airports, and countless new hospitals and libraries. Unemployed people were hired to build them under the supervision of a lot of private contractors.
So we’ve actually had socialism for a long time in this country. And those same New Deal-era projects need to be updated or repaired. So the teabaggers are either with us or they’re against Western democracy and freedom.
SayItWithWookies: Yeah, 9/11 would never have happened if a tax-cutting, deregulating, Christian Conservative was President then
Clearly the force of the 9/12 analogy is that Barack Obama and his presidency are the equivalent of the 9/11 hijackers and their attack on the WTC and Capitol. Pretty fucked up analogy, srsly.
pat robertsons personal trainer: You joke, but on the rain date tea party that los wingnuts held here on Saturday, there was a guy dressed like a pirate, and he looked pretty angry whenever I tried to take his picture.
BlueStateLibtard: Holy crap, and I fell for it? You’re better than all of us.
janejax:
Make sure you dress up in a pirate’s costume, so I know who you are. I’ll be dressed as a Navy SEAL.
Aquannissiwamissoo:
I actually made this one last week prior to all the teabagging. Feel free to distribute as wide as an Idaho Senator’s stance.
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090415182600699
Enjoy!
Roger the Shrubber: Actually, it’s that the occupant of the shoes was likely raptured up to see our Lord. I’ve been finding a lot of shoes around Portland of late. The rapture is happening in slow motion. The main event will be on 9/12 when Jesus whips out his enormous testicles, teabags the entire crowd, and then brings them close to his bosom.
Take the public transportation to the public park and have the police protect you from the consequences of your childish tantrum about not paying taxes. WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
just bought 9/12 project.com on Go Daddy!
IceCreamEmpress: Don’t forget the hated “roads” !
Canuckledragger: Please note: comment moderation is enabled and may delay your comment. There is no need to resubmit your comment. Damn. So much for crapflooding the comments section.
pat robertsons personal trainer: And once again, teh Wonkettes has taught me about yet another obscure sex act (make that two).
rocktonsammy: Yeah! That’s the kind of action the rest of us are too lazy to bother with. Good work. Make it rock like teablogging.net.
Also. FreedomWorks will be partnering with other like-minded grassroots organizations…
I do not think grassroots means what you think it means, tool.
mikeyboypdx: Yose !!! Excellent. Very much like. Thankee sai.
comradepaulson: But G-d the Father laughs them to scorn!
Zhu Bajie
Lazy Media: Wait till next year! Xtn voodoo attacks!
I think mine is subtle. Y’all are welcome. Love, Anastasia
Would someone like to tell the out-of-town, lilly-white teabaggers about the DC area protest route? Starting in Columbia Hts and winding its way thru SE.
mikeyboypdx: The main event will be on 9/12 when Jesus whips out his enormous testicles, teabags the entire crowd, and then brings them close to his
bosombottom.Fixed.
The date is an excellent TeaTard choice.
September 12th:
1938 - Hitler demands the surrender of Sudetenland.
One people, one nation, one mobile park*
“Tomorrow belongs to us.”
* Without their an acknowledgement of having received an FHA-backed mortgage loan.
*****
Long/short: Bitch as they might about paying US taxes for flood walls for Fargo, cancer research, new roads or border patrol or prosthetics for military amputees, the TeaTards will never ackowledge receiving direct benefit from same until their own ox is gored (e.g., house hit by a tornado, kid arrested for dealimg dope instead of Jesus). Meantime, they will be more than glad to suck on the tit of Medicare and Social Security, paid fot by the generation behind them.
End of rant.
Prisoner
Of
Our
Paranoia
rocktonsammy: I don’t say “You da man,” but if I did, I would say it to you, da man.
Wait, wait, wait. Ok, let’s review what these morons want:
1) Their taxes to be lowered… DONE.
2) No terrorist attacks on their shithole towns… DONE.
3) No gay marriage for their “confused” son… DONE.
4) More dead Muslims in Iraq and Afghanistan… DONE.
What the living fuck are they protesting for?
shortsshortsshorts: I would give this the win, but the epic irony of suggesting Metro transportation…it’s such a toss-up.
Wait! The Teabaggers suggest that the protesters use Metro? Whoa, that ain’t gonna work. Metro does not allow food and beverage on the trains, so there will either be mass arrests or a pile of tea bags at the entrance to every Metro stop.
So basically this will be the Branson version of the Million Man March?
Jukesgrrl: When you see all the misspellings & crappy grammar on the signs, it’s clear that at least one government entity (public education) failed them.
problemwithcaring: and also don’t forget that someone will clean up the trash they leave from the safe-from-contamination food and beverages they consume. Gee they’re sounding more and more like socialists.
This comment has to be from one of us, the mis-spelling is just too covenient:
“Shocking on how april 15th’s nationwide anti-tax tea parties really got under the skin of those liberals. The liberals were doing everything they could do to try to critisize the tea parties! This tea party was only a musturd seed. We are already planting more musturd seeds!”
Can Barry pre-issue some kind of RED TERROR ALERT on 9/12 to make those morans duct tape their mouths shut and stay at home?
Can we re-organise gay pride day for 9/12?
I think this would benefit the whole of NY.
Bruno: This is the best idea I’ve heard all week.
“TEA BAGGING FOR EVERYONE!”
“YEAH, TEA BAGGING FOR– Wait, WHAT??”