RULES AND REGULATIONS  3:43 pm April 17, 2009

Dumb State Laws Kept Joe Lieberman From Running As Republican VP Nominee

by Sara K. Smith

One of these wishes he could quit the other.Here is a Hot Scoop via our nation’s secret spy network, CSPAN: one of the main guys from John McCain’s VP vetting committee spilled salacious details on how and why Joe Lieberman did not get to be John McCain’s Sarah Palin.

Remember when Joe Lieberman gave his speech at the Republican National Convention, and it was supposed to be so awesome because here was a Democrat “speaking truth to power” or whatever but then it turned out that Republicans despised him as much as Democrats did? Your editor was nursing a delicious Boddington’s at the Liffey and watching the television screens as Lieberman gummed his way through his “Barack Obama is a fine young man” speech and no joke, you could feel the icy chill emanating from the convention floor a block away.

So, number one, John McCain could not make Lieberman his running mate because he and Lindsey Graham were the only two Republicans on the planet who actually liked Vinegar Joe.

But number two, according to A.B. Culvahouse, was the fact that many states wouldn’t allow it.

“Five states have sore loser statutes…[making] it very difficult for someone who’s not a member of the Republcian party to become the vice presidential nominee if they only switch parties to become a Republican shortly before the convention,’ Culvahouse said in public remarks at the Republican National Lawyers Association annual meeting aired on C-SPAN.

Institutional antisemitism is just so ugly.

Rather than risk a Supreme Court case over Lieberman’s eligibility to run as VP, McCain instead went with the unknown hillbilly glamazon Sarah Palin and, as we all remember so fondly, got elected in a landslide.

Why McCain-Lieberman wasn’t an option (legally speaking) [Jonathan Martin on Ben Smith's Blog]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 40 comments }

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! April 17, 2009 at 3:49 pm

Actually it could be institutional anti-semitism. It is a well-known fact that Lieberman has always had an “innie” so he could never be circumcised. He is only technically Jewish and remains in the faith due to the entertaining wife monologues enjoyed by all Jewish males.

TGY April 17, 2009 at 3:49 pm

The point is moot. Or ‘mute’ or ‘moo’ or however Teh Intarwebs spells it, these days.

Bearbloke April 17, 2009 at 3:50 pm

Plus, the throbbing sexual TENSION between McWALNUT & Lie-berman would’ve been unbearable…

AnnieGetYourFun April 17, 2009 at 3:50 pm

Wow, I don’t know if Joe could have topped Palin for sheer entertainment value. No, definitely not. So, yay?

pat robertsons personal trainer April 17, 2009 at 3:51 pm

to say nothing of the “jowl-limits for a single presidential ticket” laws that would’ve prevented it in 17 states (including indiana, north carolina, virginia, michigan, florida, and ohio)–all states that mccain won.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! April 17, 2009 at 3:51 pm

[re=293281]Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish![/re]: that should be “it could NOT be…”

SayItWithWookies April 17, 2009 at 3:51 pm

salacious details on how and why Joe Lieberman did not get to be John McCain’s Sarah Palin.

Because he refused to wax?

Serolf Divad April 17, 2009 at 3:53 pm

God, I love the institutionalized two party system. I’m just thankful that the Democrats and Republicans together encompass all possible ideological stances and opinions.

Min April 17, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Dumb laws produced a dumb vice-presidential candidate. There is a certain symmetry to it all.

Hooray For Anything April 17, 2009 at 3:55 pm

We should thank our Founding Fathers for creating a document that ensure that over two-hundred years after the country’s founding, we should be given the epic hilarity that is Sarah Palin and the Palin family. God bless the United States.

prizepig April 17, 2009 at 3:56 pm

McCain-Lieberman: jowls you can believe in

facehead April 17, 2009 at 3:59 pm

[re=293281]Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish![/re]: You mean he’s got a vagina? Own or Rent? In any case, no jew born before 1980 was allowed to have a birth certificate (before then it was constitutional law that all jews were born from miscegenation, meaning they are extra-terrestrial and gay).

Red Zeppelin April 17, 2009 at 4:01 pm

The combined old man smell and man boobs would have been pretty overwhelming. Also.

WadISay April 17, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Reason #3: Lieberman has lousy tits.

bricks April 17, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Any pithy sarcasm I can muster about this issue would have to include my spot-on Lieberman imitation, so screw it.

Godot April 17, 2009 at 4:03 pm

“Rather than risk a Supreme Court case over Lieberman’s eligibility to run as VP, McCain instead went with the unknown hillbilly glamazon Sarah Palin and, as we all remember so fondly, got elected in a landslide.”

Somebody watches Monday Night Raw.

Capricatony April 17, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Yeah I’m sure they really heavily considered having a RINO/DemocratJew ticket.

IslandGirlFL April 17, 2009 at 4:04 pm

And he wouldn’t look good in the Neiman Marcus wardrobe they had alreayd picked out for the running mate.

Scandinavian Fetus April 17, 2009 at 4:06 pm

They look as though they are about to join facial labia for a long, long time.

Kinbote April 17, 2009 at 4:11 pm

[re=293290]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Because he refused to wax?

Let us turn to Genesis 27:11, dear friends…

SayItWithWookies April 17, 2009 at 4:13 pm

[re=293286]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Wow, I don’t know if Joe could have topped Palin for sheer entertainment value.

No, Lieberman would only do it for votes or campaign funding. Regardless of how entertaining it might be.

Lionel Hutz Esq. April 17, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Actually, Lieberman has the requirements to be a perfect Republican VP. While he can’t see Russia from his house, he can see New York, which we all know is full of communist.

dijetlo April 17, 2009 at 4:36 pm

They’d have missed out on all that good, clean Christian tingling only righteous, conservative, god fearing men enjoy when she straps on her six inch stilettos and preaches the word of the Lord.(amen)
Also
Joe only reads Hebrew, so he probably couldn’t have answered Katys questions either.

V572625694 April 17, 2009 at 4:39 pm

[re=293297]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Plus our Founding Fathers spared us the Kissinger and Schwarzenegger presidencies. Compared to the three-fifths rule, this seems brilliant.

joezoo April 17, 2009 at 4:43 pm

I think they mean “Sore Loserman statutes.”

NunnaTheSOBs April 17, 2009 at 4:59 pm

Padon my german (or lack thereof), but isn’t

“lieber” = “rather”
+
“mann” = “man”

mean’s Joe’d rather (have) a man?

And if he can’t have a man,
he’ll settle for Lindsey Graham
(a male humanoid).

dijetlo April 17, 2009 at 5:46 pm

Liebe is love. Since German has three genders, they conjugate it.
Hence German Porno.
You can actually watch them, watching the clock while their having sex, they must be in a union or something. All I know is not very erotic listening to some three hundred pound women bellow
” Schell! Schnell! Seine fritzel ist immer mein Kuche!”
at least for me, anyway.
Might put a smile on Joes face though.

Internally valid April 17, 2009 at 6:04 pm

Mmmm, Boddingtons.

ShamWow April 17, 2009 at 6:17 pm

I thought that virgins weren’t allowed to be VP

NunnaTheSOBs April 17, 2009 at 6:31 pm

[re=293455]dijetlo[/re]: ” Schell! Schnell! Seine fritzel ist immer mein Kuche!” ??

Ring, quick, the putz is gone. Come enjoy the coochie ???

WABishop April 17, 2009 at 6:39 pm

Ok, leaving aside for a minute the essential mootness (mootidity? mootitude?) of the question and the fact that on no planet that I can think of would the GOP would have ever permitted Lieberman on the ticket, so what? Wouldn’t it just mean that McCain would appear alone on the ballot in some states? Do votes for VP actually count for anything?

Accordion-o-rama April 17, 2009 at 7:06 pm

[re=293411]NunnaTheSOBs[/re]: [re=293455]dijetlo[/re]: Joe Liebermann = Dudley Manlove?

Alpha O. Mega April 17, 2009 at 8:30 pm

[re=293297]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Thanks too to Abe Lincoln. Without him, Seward never would have been Secretary of State, and we never would’ve purchased Alaska from the Ruskies, and we never would’ve heard of Sarah Palin or Levi Johnston or the rest of that crowd.

Scandalabra April 17, 2009 at 11:50 pm

I hope it is costing Mooselini a fortune to advertise her PAC on here. If we click on it does Wonkette get more dough? Do we get cooties or VD?

davesnothere April 18, 2009 at 2:32 am

[re=293486]NunnaTheSOBs[/re]: Faster, before the valet comes! Flavor my pastry dough with your tea-sausage!

dijetlo April 18, 2009 at 3:45 pm

[re=293486]NunnaTheSOBs[/re]: quickly, quickly, your sausage is in my kitchen.

NunnaTheSOBs April 18, 2009 at 6:36 pm

[re=293528]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: [re=293627]davesnothere[/re]: [re=293684]dijetlo[/re]: Oh hell, my complete ignorance of german is obvious, but I’m sure that MY translation is what Hadassah Lieberman says to the gardener every day, after Joe heads off to capitol hill to look out for his constituents in Tel Aviv.

Boojum April 19, 2009 at 7:31 am

[re=293411]NunnaTheSOBs[/re]: Joseph = Jehovah increases. Lieber = loved. Man = man.

In other words, Joseph Lieberman means God wants moar of teh geyz.

daisy chain April 19, 2009 at 3:17 pm

Why does Sara Pac want to blow a hole in the shape of Alaska in the middle of the United States?

tehbenton April 20, 2009 at 7:50 am

But would he have looked half as good in the tattooed lipstick? Methinks yes!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: