• May 27, 2012

Communist EPA Says Global Warming ‘Bad’

by Ken Layne  12:56 pm April 17, 2009

Climate change you can believe in.You knew this was coming: Barack Obama’s “Environmental Protection Agency” announced today — wait for it! — that the theoretical leftist fantasy of Global Warming/Climate Change is somehow “not cool” and therefore your tax cuts will now be used, through FEMA NWO death squads, to “create millions of green jobs and end our country’s dependence on foreign oil,” in the words of EPA administrator Lisa P. Jackson, who probably doesn’t even believe Jesus had a pet dinosaur.

Well, He did. It was named “El Dildo” and it spoke Arabic, and when it died at the age of 666 years old, with Jesus (in France), it instantly turned to sweet light crude, the end.

And how will Nobama’s Nazis go about controlling every single “emission,” including the farts of fat Republican Americans? By using the — wait for it! — 40-year-old “Clean Air Act” put in place by … eh, Nixon.

Come to think of it, the EPA is Nixon’s work, too. Excuse us while we head over to Yorba Linda with shovels. We are going to exhume this motherfucker and see if he’s got a birth certificate.

EPA Proposes Regulating Greenhouse Gas Emissions [Washington Post]

{ 48 comments }

proudgrampa April 17, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Misty Mundae is HAWT!

Gorillionaire April 17, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Does that movie have any, ya know, nudity?

Bearbloke April 17, 2009 at 1:02 pm

There’s no such thing as ‘global warming’! It’s just Jesus farting because of all those street-vendor tacos and bacon-wrapped hotdogs he eats – it’s hungry work being the Savior of all Mankind, doncha know! Also.

Doglessliberal April 17, 2009 at 1:04 pm

I would like to note that when we were toy shopping the Xmas before last for my office’s giving tree, we walked down the aisle with all the action figure sets (knights and horses, Conan the Barbarian types and wild animals). My husband saw one with a Conan riding a dinosaur and said “oh, the Huckabee model!” It was very funny.

Ok, so maybe you had to be there.

Oh, and I think it really is going too far for the EPA to be regulating nocturnal emissions. There are going to be a lot of humiliated teenaged boys out there.

Jerk Cade April 17, 2009 at 1:04 pm

So much better than Dinosaur Girls on Bikini Planet.

SayItWithWookies April 17, 2009 at 1:07 pm

Former president George W. Bush and his deputies opposed putting mandatory limits on carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases on the grounds that it would harm the economy.

Whew — glad Dubya and his crew averted that disaster.

Also, if Sloppy Tuesday isn’t taken, that’s my new porn name.

Mild Midwesterner April 17, 2009 at 1:07 pm

[re=293026]Gorillionaire[/re]: None of the dinosaurs are wearing clothes.

ManchuCandidate April 17, 2009 at 1:08 pm

I wonder if EXXON and TEXACO will be jumping on the ole secession bandwagon.

“If we secede then we can pollute all we want! Yeehaw!” Followed by cowboy hats and bullets fired into the air.

shortsshortsshorts April 17, 2009 at 1:12 pm

[re=293041]ManchuCandidate[/re]: If we actually lived in a FREE country, companies like Texaco could operate without ANY regulation. We could make this place like fuckin’ Thunderdome. Hell ya.

proudgrampa April 17, 2009 at 1:14 pm

I think it was Carlin who said, “The planet is fine. The people are f—-d.”

Barrett808 April 17, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Bikini Girls with Machine Guns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-QbZCPrvl0

And Lux Interior’s dick!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfLRxKIHETs

BillyClubb April 17, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=293041]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Followed by cowboy hats and bullets fired into the air.

How do you fire a cowboy hat into the air, because that just might come in useful next time the rodeo comes to Houston.

Min April 17, 2009 at 1:18 pm

I didn’t know there was light sweet crude in France.

Unless you count Sarkozy.

FMA April 17, 2009 at 1:18 pm

So, is this socialism or fascism? I’m trying to keep up, but it’s difficult to stay focused what with all this teabagging going on.

SayItWithWookies April 17, 2009 at 1:20 pm

[re=293052]BillyClubb[/re]: Just load the ol’ cowboy hat into the cannon. It goes farther if the cowboy is still attached.

Monsieur Grumpe April 17, 2009 at 1:23 pm

Are they going to regulate the air in elevators? I’m tired of getting trapped with people who bath in aftershave or perfume. Gag.

Zadig April 17, 2009 at 1:23 pm

Raptor Jesus does not approve.

V572625694 April 17, 2009 at 1:23 pm

[re=293041]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yeah, Texas, so long, don’t let the door, etc etc…

Oh wait, just one more thing: We’re closing Fort Hood and Fort Bliss and Fort Sam Houston and Brooks City-Base and Dyess Air Force Base and Goodfellow Air Force Base and Lackland Air Force Base and Laughlin Air Force Base and Randolph Air Force Base and Sheppard Air Force Base, and taking all the tanks and airplanes and soldiers and airmen away. Oh wait — there’s also that Coast Guard base in Galveston, and three Navy bases. And we forgot about the big F-16 plant in Fort Worth — it belongs to the US government, you see. And when the Corps of Engineers moves out you’ll have run the flood control works on the Trinity River yourself, but you can probably figure that out before it floods again.

Then you can do whatever you want with all those Mexicans that pick all the vegetables in Zavala County, cuz that’ll be your only food source after the cattle eat all the scrub grass. And we’re keeping the off-shore oil, because how you going to stop us? With your Navy? Oh, that’s right, you don’t have one! Too bad!

Bye-bye, Tejas!

Gorillionaire April 17, 2009 at 1:24 pm

[re=293024]proudgrampa[/re]: From Wiki – “Erin (Misty Mundae) was born as Erin DeWright in Illinois.

She is a self-professed hippie[citation needed]; she plays guitar and is a vegetarian. She has identified herself as bisexual.[5]“

Texan Bulldoggette April 17, 2009 at 1:25 pm

[re=293049]proudgrampa[/re]: Aren’t you cute trying not to curse. Stick around Wonkette long enough & you’ll openly be typing things that once only existed in the darkest recess of your mind.

shortsshortsshorts April 17, 2009 at 1:26 pm

[re=293055]Min[/re]: Speaking of Sarkozy— he decided to fucking go off about every world leader, because he is a polite person: http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/?p=2050

He really does exemplify the entirety of France.

Zadig April 17, 2009 at 1:27 pm

Oh holy shit, “Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet” was directed by William Hellfire.

Mustang April 17, 2009 at 1:27 pm

I love the way O is keeping those wingnuts freaked out and jumpin’ around like prisoners in a box of bugs! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, life is good.

Doglessliberal April 17, 2009 at 1:29 pm

[re=293069]Mustang[/re]: Just you wait until the reaction on the NIH stem cell decision that just came out. HE IZ KILLING OUR BABEEZ!1!!! HE IS GOING TO EET THEM ON TOAST!!!11

Min April 17, 2009 at 1:30 pm

[re=293066]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: The French say it best…”Quelle imbecile!”

CivicHoliday April 17, 2009 at 1:34 pm

If I were a conspiracy theorist, I would argue that Mark Felt was ordered by someone within the FBI (on orders from one of the higher-up GOP Senators) to leak info about Watergate because the republican party secretly hated Nixon for all of his pro-environmental and anti-Jew positions. They like war and hate gov’t regulation, particularly of the. We can’t have that if we no longer suck off Israel at every opportunity, and let the EPA actually do its job.

But I’m not a conspiracy theorist, so I’ll just assume that the MSM just got really lucky on that one.

proudgrampa April 17, 2009 at 1:36 pm

[re=293065]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I know, I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’m a recovering Southern Baptist.

Come here a minute April 17, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Mmmmmm………light sweet crude.

Texan Bulldoggette April 17, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=293079]proudgrampa[/re]: Hee hee. I was raised Southern Baptist. It was illegal to dance in the town where I grew up. So no one danced but lots of 16-year olds got pregnant!

vkladchik April 17, 2009 at 1:46 pm

Misty Mundae rawcks.

ifthethunderdontgetya" April 17, 2009 at 1:50 pm

[re=293063]V572625694[/re]: Win.
~

Bypartizoa April 17, 2009 at 1:52 pm

Yorba Linda sounds like a foreign country to me.

illnoise April 17, 2009 at 1:52 pm

+1 on Misty. she makes Showtime soft porn FUN again.

Canmon (the Inadequate) April 17, 2009 at 1:52 pm

[re=293064]Gorillionaire[/re]: “She also appeared in a Columbine massacre-inspired B movie, Duck! The Carbine High Massacre in 2000.”

proudgrampa April 17, 2009 at 1:52 pm

[re=293094]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Wow. Isn’t it a wonder we got out?

CivicHoliday April 17, 2009 at 1:53 pm

[re=293078]CivicHoliday[/re]: was supposed to read “particularly of the environmental protection type”

Hawaiiexpat April 17, 2009 at 1:54 pm

What global warming? It’s like below 32 degrees in my freezer.

*waddling for some Ben and Jerry’s*

Cape Clod April 17, 2009 at 1:55 pm

Can’t wait for the first wingnut to start complaining about how the government is trying to regulate the very air we breathe.

Cape Clod April 17, 2009 at 1:56 pm

And is there a copy of that movie available anywhere?

Hooray For Anything April 17, 2009 at 1:58 pm

Does this mean George Will is wrong? That couldn’t be– he’s got glasses and a bow tie and uses lots of big words in his column so I thought he was smart.

TGY April 17, 2009 at 1:59 pm

Nice pic of Juli in fur.

Zadig April 17, 2009 at 2:03 pm

[re=293119]Cape Clod[/re]: It’d probably be very difficult to find. Even searching illicit download sources only turns up scans for sleazy movie posters. I checked for, um, research purposes.

Capricatony April 17, 2009 at 2:16 pm

It’s a sad state of affairs when Obama is the most liberal president since Nixon.

Lionel Hutz Esq. April 17, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Ken, I must join the chorus congratulating you on your taste in fine Cinema. It sure would make my globe warm.

Custerwolf April 17, 2009 at 3:21 pm

I call bullshit on that picture. There is NO way the Thighmaster existed at the same time as the dinosaurs.

pondscum April 17, 2009 at 3:22 pm

[re=293034]Doglessliberal[/re]: Oh, you’re right. That’s damn funny!

LittlePig April 17, 2009 at 7:30 pm

[re=293119]Cape Clod[/re]: Amazon has it for $20. I’d probably go with Misty’s Euro-Vixens flick myself – it apparently shows more goodies, what with Europeans not being ruled by Puritan nutjobs like the good old Ewe Ess Of Ay.

IgorMarxo April 18, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Old Russian saying…You can tell same lie 1000 times but not change truth!

Difference between USSR Communist media and USA “mainstream media”

In Russia government make media say what they want – even if lie.
In USA “mainstream media” try make government what they want – even if lie..
…..eventually they become same thing?!

I Igor produce Obama Birth Certificate at http://www.igormarxo.org

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