Former McCain Baldy Says Republicans Should Embrace Gay Marriage

Man, times have changed! These days we only care about the economy and houses and jobs and such utterly boring twattery, whereas just six or seven short months ago there was literally NOTHING in the news except for marvelous McCain campaign premortems showcasing the descent of an idealistic war-hero candidate into madness, confusion, cynical race-baiting, and ineptitude, led over a cliff by a cadre of "savvy" advisers and one attractive Alaskan woman with facial tattoos. And from this swamp of misery emerges one mossy corpse named Steve Schmidt, the bald guru who first convinced McCain of the necessity of "message discipline," of which McCain later proved utterly incapable.

Steve Schmidt once worked for George W. Bush, whodidactually manage to stay "on message," to a pretty infuriating degree. So Schmidt joined the McCain campaign in the spring with the promise that he could help McCain at least have a shot at winning, as long as McCain didn't say goofball things every five minutes.

Of course, this was impossible.

ANYHOW, back to Steve Schmidt: he has decided that his party, the Republican one, has to quit being such prudes about gay marriage if they're going to convince anyone besides 68-year-old Wal-Mart greeters to vote for them. And he will say as much today to a group of known Republican homosexuals, called "The Log Cabin Republicans" due to their fondness for situating their "logs" in capacious brown structures.

"It cannot be argued that marriage between people of the same sex is un American or threatens the rights of others," he says in the speech. "On the contrary, it seems to me that denying two consenting adults of the same sex the right to form a lawful union that is protected and respected by the state denies them two of the most basic natural rights affirmed in the preamble of our Declaration of Independence — liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Hmm, sounds pretty socialist!

John McCain claimed not to support gay marriage, but seriously, does anybody think he actually gave a shit about what gays do on the weekends? And this, "my friends," is why he and his many former advisors are just barely allowed to be Republicans anymore.

 Ex-McCain aide to call for gay marriage support [Political Ticker]