Even fatter in First Life.Regarding George Will’s anti-blue jeans column of today, the Wall Street Journal had a much funnier “denim sucks” column, by your editor’s actual relative-by-marriage Daniel Akst, three weeks ago. DO NOT CLAIM YOU DON’T READ THE WSJ, GEORGE. Dan’s column is also far less elitist than Bow-tie George’s thing, because instead of Will’s example of regular American activity — playing golf, natch — Akst’s “you don’t need dungarees for that” example is “people who spend most of their waking hours punching keys instead of cows.” And then he goes in for the kill with “It looks bad on almost everyone who isn’t thin, yet has somehow made itself the unofficial uniform of the fattest people in the world.” [Wall Street Journal]

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  1. “It looks bad on almost everyone who isn’t thin, yet has somehow made itself the unofficial uniform of the fattest people in the world.”

    Ouch, the truth hurts, America. But not as much as my eyes hurt, when I make the mistake of looking at you in your too-small blue jeans. Cover up, for the love of pete.

    Personally, I wear khakis almost exclusively. I need them for my ‘work uniform’ and they are available at Goodwill in size 34×34 for a nickle a ton. Decent jeans? not so much.

  2. Screw Danny Angst. Denim jeans can go for weeks, unwashed, until they stand up by themselves. I remember this from the hippie times. And thanks to GATT, Americans can buy cheap denim made in pollution-filled Asian textile mills by children earning $2 a day. I remember this from 15 years ago, my best job ever.

  3. These people can go to hell. Of all crap to complain about, sheesh. They could at least attack POLYESTER, which covers a multitude of sins.

  4. I like wearing jeans, damn it! My skinny librul self does agree with Akst’s premise that jeans on fat folks is ugly–they look like 100lbs of fat ass stuffed into a 50lb denim sack.

    Why can’t George Will go shit on something I hate like that insufferable Twilight movie and the shitty books they’re based on?

  5. [re=292055]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I am writing a tween-porn series about a magic girl (Intern Juli) whose headaches power the “beeps” in our editors’ chat room.

  6. George steals ALL his columns during baseball season.
    But I am taking his advice, and I am sure I will look great mowing the lawn in a Fred Astaire suit. (I only wear Grace Kelly gowns after Labor Day).

  7. [re=292049]A Better American Than YOU[/re]: Plus one can tap one’s cigarette ash on one’s denim clad knee, rub vigorously with finger and PRESTO! good as new. Try doing that in your khakis!

  8. This is so weird to me, it’s like these guys are in the twilight zone. I could totally see getting angry at a hipster wearing some vintage Levi’s, especially if you yourself spent any time at a ranch in Wyoming…because that is a popular trend right now. And yes, I suppose very overweight people in gross over-distressed denim (especially mall jeans in the suburbs with bedazzled shit on them) do not look very flattering. Buuut…jeans are cheap, easy to get, and CAN look good, if you wear basic styles. Have these conservatards looked at people lately? There are so many more gross trends to get mad at…HELLO AFFLICTION T SHIRTS??? Literally these rhinestone tribal print tees are worn by muscle guys in Jersey and California and have infiltrated every college in the world. And they cost $80. Is this an official plank in the Republican platform now?

  9. Looks like funny runs in the family–denim, like George Will, needs to take itself less seriously. However, what I really love about the article is the “people who read this also read”: Denim was worn by the sailors who won WWII.

    Argument: YR DOIN IT RONG

  10. [re=292066]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Uhg! “Muffin tops.” I did a google image on that to find out what the hell you’re talking about. This is exactly what the columnist is talking about, and by way of agreement, me too.

    [re=292111]lennixlewis[/re]: Actually, he specifically mentioned fat people in tight jeans (as you did). That was his main rant, and he riffed a bit.

  11. [re=292111]lennixlewis[/re]: especially if you yourself spent any time at a ranch in Wyoming

    But didn’t people write all these “you’re no rancher/cowboy/railroad/farm hand, therefore you shouldn'[t wear DUNGAREES!!!” articles in the 1950’s and ’60s back when Jack Kerouac wrote “On The Road” and you know, this was all relevant?

  12. [re=292219]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: hahaha…he didn’t “riff a bit” on that topic. He had one good joke about it, and blew his wad like Wonkette pointed out. The rest of this garbage is just a fumbling, bumbling mess. I was pointing out the maybe two ok points that could be made by these two ranting dweebs, but to say that Americans are going to stop wearing jeans and they are trashy and unnecessary? Republicans have taken “out of touch” to whole new levels. Besides, not all fat people look bad in all kinds of jeans, so I don’t even fully agree with that. Plus, jeans are good for RAWK N ROLLLLL

  13. All this jeans talk is great, but what the hell is up with the blue face on the avatar?

    Is this chick going for Braveheart? Pictish war paint from a thousand years ago is patriotic? WTF??

  14. Jeans are comfy and don’t wrinkle the first time you sit down in them. Those are important qualities to a keyboard cowboy like me. Little Lord Blackwell and his minions of Fredastairinas can go fuck themselves with a denim-wrapped bottle of Krystal. Honestly, which is douchier–a fat man in denim or anyone under the age of 75 wearing a fedora? I rest my case.

  15. Aw! You re-ran the pic of Blueface and her awful Posh Beckham Virtual Chest Rocks from Second Life. Like they weren’t horrible enough the *first* time.

  16. I wear nothing but Ralph Lauren in public, but no jeans made by anybody, ever. Wearing jeans in Texas is just asking to lose 15lbs in water weight the moment you step out the door.

  17. those which were originally designed for warfare, dangerous work or strenuous sports.

    That must explain the new line of Napoleonic-inspired braided and bedazzled Shapska (ou czapka) de lancier polonais and fashion sumo diapers down at Aéropostale for Spring 2009.

    Both available in camouflage-motif serge de Nîmes.

    I suspect both Bowtie Boi and Akstkisser are in the tank for the moribund seersucker and vicuña wool purveyors…

  18. Denim is the target today, Carhartt will most def be Akst’s scapegoat for all of ‘Muricas troubles tomorrow!

    P.S., Danny, that’s not sartorial racial transcendence!

  19. I’m an engineer and I wear jeans and a t-shirt to work every day,
    as I have for the last 25 years. No ties, no jewelry, no loose clothing.
    When someone in a suit shows up to express his opinion of how thing should be
    I just ignore him. If his opinion had any serious value he’d have dressed ready-to-

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