Wonkette
You’ve done it, America! You have already shed so many jobs that you are running out of remaining jobs to lose. That means new unemployment filings for last week were not quite as awful as unemployment filings for the previous week, and were the lowest since late January! We have turned a corner, etc!
Alas, every employment expert in the world agrees that things will get worse before they get better, jobs are a lagging indicator blah blah blah, which means that job losses will probably continue throughout the year. They will just hopefully not be quite as dire and awful as what we’ve already seen. Those of you who are already unemployed, give yourself a pat on the back — you have gotten an early start on the inevitable.
Jobless Claims Fall to 610,000, Lowest Since Jan [Reuters]
Jeezus, when are those guys gonna put down that sign??
Wonkette, do your part to help the unemployment rate by hiring me to work at my favourite blog EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
“So get a job then, ya goddam Hippie!!”
Woo hoo! That means I’ll have to beat out only a hundred people for a job at Safeway as opposed to several hundred.
I am ALWAYS late to the bandwagon. I filed for unemployment last week, not know that the cool kids had all done it in February and March.
If I can’t have a job, can I haz handjob?
Mercifully, the starvation has kept lots of people from filing for the unemployment.
ChernobylSoup: Perhaps all of my grammatical mistakes and misspellings are the reason I’m out of a job?
ChernobylSoup: De-fucking-cember, baby. Where’s my prize?
ChernobylSoup: P Drizzle: Don’t worry, you will all get jobs building SUPERTRAINS!
P Drizzle: You get a free month of COBRA as long as you pay $1245.23 for it.
Anyone on Tier II unemployment? I got a letter from the Texas Workforce saying I could apply for it. In February I finished the standard 26 week, then the 13, and then the 7. I hoping for another 6 weeks but I’ll gladly take more regardless of Gov. Perry.
Teabaggerz has saved us all!
I thought it was gonna be highway work which would have been cool cause I have several orange jumpsuits.
Ah, see, I still work for my former employer from home - and he pays me in COBRA. The system works!
SOCIALIST COMMIE MUSLIN LIBTARD TELEPROMPTER DRIVEN SOOPER TRAINS FOR EVERYONE!!!111!!11
I’m surprised people even know what an “economy” is anymore. I thought it was re-named to be “unemployment” back in January, but whatevs.
I hear making guns is a growth industry. And several right wing hate groups have openings in their food and beverage departments.
P Drizzle: I think my former employer was a little confused, or maybe it was me. He laid me off then started paying me my severance in cobras. The upside is I’ve been able to effect a measurable reduction in the number of people filing new unemployment claims in my small, sleepy state. I see my work has had a national impact.
Every community is hiring a corps of hippies and wastrels to pull elderly tea-baggers out of duh ribbuh. [Okay, I get excited and start speaking Gullah when I think about South Carolina tea.]
chascates: Aren’t Texans no longer worried about unemployment, what with y’all forming your country and what not? Certainly an economy based on low taxes, oil, guns, and high school football should take care of everything.
PS- sorry for the Texas joke but we here in California are happy these days because our governor is no longer the laughing stock of the country.
They can take my job when they pry it from my cold dead hands.
Let us celebrate the upturn of the downturn or the downturn of the upturn or wtf-ever.
I’ve got the perfect solution: Jobless people can switch places with the teabaggers. Everybody wins: Unemployed people have jobs again and the teatards don’t have to pay taxes because they’re unemployed (and too thick-skulled to accept unemployment).
Wait, if I’m being paid in Ameros am I already unemployed?
slappypaddy: Whoa, those are collectors’ items! What’s the markup?
P Drizzle: Ten pounds, either of gold or of bullets.
Hooray For Anything: We’d be willing to trade governors with you. Perry will be up against Kay Bailey Hutchison for the governors race in 2010 so he’s very so far to the right he’s about to fall off the edge.
Just as with the teabaggers none of the secessionists realize how much money comes from the feds. We’re too big to be a mental institution though.
in other news, unemployment in michigan caps 12.6%. i love me my midwest.
chascates: How well is that “secession” stuff playing in Texas? Are there people behind it or is the general consensus that the Governor’s gone off the deep end?
Hooray For Anything: Some democrats in the state house have called him an opportunist, some of the wingnuts are happy, but most everyone else just ignores him. I’m waiting to hear his buddy Ted Nugent weigh in on this.
Let me add one further ray of sunshine. Unemployment figures also decrease when people run out of benefits. Even with Hopey’s unemployment stimulus, you don’t get to right that unemployment pony forever. Yay hobo-dom!
chascates: Not sure whether it’s a good thing or not most people are ignoring what Perry said. Or that Ted Nugent is a bud. Of course, there’s never been any photos taken of your governor while naked or shown smoking dope.
chascates: And Chuck Norris. Also.
DollarStorePregnancyTest: Ironically, my cousin just moved from Colorado to Michigan because he found a job there. Don’t know how he pulled that off.
I come home one Friday,
had to tell the landlady I’d done lost my job
She said that don’t comfort me,
long as I get my money next Friday
Now next Friday come I didn’t get the rent,
and out the door I went
19kevin8: One bourbon, one scotch and one beer! Yes!