DID ANOTHER 9/11 HAPPEN YESTERDAY?  2:16 pm April 16, 2009

And There Was Quite A Teabagger Yiff On ‘Second Life,’ Too

by Jim Newell

We’ll just throw all of these pictures in and not bother with the one-liners this time, because this is Art and must be respected. Here are some important themes, motifs and keywords though: Star Wars, furries, whores, the boardwalk, YouTube Thomas Paine impersonator as Big Brother, French aristocracy, CNN, Osama, Obama, media saturation, Adolf Hitler, attractive hobos, homosexuals, racism, black people, vulgarity, cancer, testicles, death, sadness, misery, failure, and gonorrhea.

 
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{ 96 comments }

ManchuCandidate April 16, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Sweet. Zombie. Jeebus.

Where’s the furries with the ginormous penises and tits?

AfghanVet April 16, 2009 at 2:20 pm

It would seem that GOP men anatomically overcompensate with their avatars too.

InsidiousTuna April 16, 2009 at 2:21 pm

Flying penises, &c.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! April 16, 2009 at 2:21 pm

After the Wonk’d I’d hafta hit the furry McCain supporter.

SmutBoffin April 16, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Heh, apparently the cast of Final Fantasy VII simply does not care for this Obama fellow.

qwerty42 April 16, 2009 at 2:23 pm

lord. this is a parody, right? … right?

Cicada April 16, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Wow. People still do Second Life?

populucious April 16, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Oh gawd. Teabagging is so yesterday.

doxastic April 16, 2009 at 2:24 pm

I love to see that, in their fantasies, teabaggers all have huge, barely covered cans. Sort of like tightie-whitey masked unitard lady–OR MAYBE THEY’VE DISCOVERED A PORTAL….

DollarStorePregnancyTest April 16, 2009 at 2:24 pm

go figure furries would eventually work their way into the debacle. i’m disappointed by the severe lack of ron paul paraphernalia however.

shortsshortsshorts April 16, 2009 at 2:25 pm

It is now confirmed that at least some teabaggers are completely out of touch with reality. SETTLED.

ChernobylSoup April 16, 2009 at 2:25 pm

I guess, technically, you can have been teabagged and still be a vigin. Like these guys.

P Drizzle April 16, 2009 at 2:26 pm

A couple of these shots remind me of the obvious inspiration for the Clarence Thomas nomination: “You commie queers want a black guy? HERE’S YOUR FUCKING BLACK GUY! SUCK IT!”

iolanthe April 16, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Pink-and-white-haired Burner Bitch there is my fave. I hope she tries carrying that sign at Burning Man.

Advocatus_Diaboli April 16, 2009 at 2:29 pm

Meaningless protest? Check.
In virtual world? Check.
Headache in my eye? Check.

shanemacgowan April 16, 2009 at 2:30 pm

I don’t recall reading anything about Posh Spice or Slash attending one of these things. Or even Ziggy Marley with a huge rack. I think I would remember that.

Noodle Salad April 16, 2009 at 2:31 pm

When Battlefield Earth Michael Jackson is on your side, you have won.

psilage April 16, 2009 at 2:31 pm

wait, wait, laughing too hard at fox girl. ok ok ready to keep looking.

ChernobylSoup April 16, 2009 at 2:31 pm

[re=291896]ChernobylSoup[/re]: “Virgin” you dummass.

iolanthe April 16, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Also, in Pic 11, if you can draw yourself with big boobs, why choose to draw in a pair of obvious toilet-plunger-bell-quality wrong-curve-at-the-top half-a-mile-wide-bare-sternum Fakies, like Posh Beckham’s?

Worst virtual tits on the page.

Tragic, girl. Tragic.

TGY April 16, 2009 at 2:32 pm

I admit to chuckling a bit at the ‘Debt Star’. Otherwise, JESUS WEPT!

user-of-owls April 16, 2009 at 2:32 pm

[re=291895]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You need to rephrase that as the null hypothesis, i.e., “at least some teabaggers are NOT completely out of touch with reality,” as that is the more debatable proposition.

Oh, and fuck dauphins.

Turd Way April 16, 2009 at 2:32 pm

You have to admire these people’s work ethic. Losers like us who spend too much time on Wonkette need to get a (second) life. At least Obama doesn’t want to tax their online lives, or take away their liberty to search the web for lesbian pornography and Ron Paul fansites.

freppish April 16, 2009 at 2:32 pm

wow furrys really suck

Czn939 April 16, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Even when given a SECOND chance, these people still can’t get a LIFE.
And btw. all those twin-tail-sporting hotties?
Rule #30: There are no girls on the internet.

Nerdalicious April 16, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Is this all that futuristic hip hop gop weirdness be da man Michael Steele was yapping about? I just fell through the looking glass & I am in Kansas Auntie Em.

bitchincamaro April 16, 2009 at 2:35 pm

“attractive hobos”. You’ve gone too far, Jim.

freakishlystrong April 16, 2009 at 2:36 pm

Well, at least they got the crowd sizes about right. What the fuck also.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! April 16, 2009 at 2:36 pm

[re=291913]iolanthe[/re]: Actually it has the most foresight of anything….you need adequate drainage for low viscosity.

Lascauxcaveman April 16, 2009 at 2:36 pm

Ye gods.

My only hope for our future is that these 2nd Lifers are all in their mom’s basement, alone, subsisting on unhealthy snack foods which lower their fertility rates and therefore will never, ever, be able to to reproduce.

In other words, the odds for a bright future are pretty good!

Judas Peckerwood April 16, 2009 at 2:38 pm

I know that a lot of Second Lifers are progressives who strongly support the issues I hold dear. But you’re all still a bunch of fucking losers.

pat robertsons personal trainer April 16, 2009 at 2:38 pm

pics from the non-animated version. i’ve already spent $375 ordering enough of these to wrap birthday presents in. now i’m just deciding which pagan holiday i can start giving gifts for to justify more paper.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/afptx

TGY April 16, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=291912]ChernobylSoup[/re]: Or Vegan.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! April 16, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=291927]Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish![/re]: High viscosity, that should be.

iolanthe April 16, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=291878]ManchuCandidate[/re]: So strange. I actually know some IRL Furries. Here in *First* life, most of them only have enormous omenta (omentums? And that’s “beer gut” or “donut gut”, if you’re wondering) and glutei, and utterly unremarkable genitalia and mammaries.

Nerdalicious April 16, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=291926]freakishlystrong[/re]:
Good one. So true. Did you see that Hannity or someone at You’re F****d blatently lied about the crowd size on camera?

Sussemilch April 16, 2009 at 2:42 pm

*Paid for by the Committee to Preserve Ron Paul’s Brain in Cyberspace Forever.

DC Hates Me April 16, 2009 at 2:42 pm

NO! Not my Linden Dollars too!

Gopherit April 16, 2009 at 2:43 pm

How truly repulsive must these people be in RL to bring their furrie selves to second life rather than their nearest teabagging protest? The few furries I’ve ever seen in reality one weren’t exactly embarrassed about their lifestyle, looks, or yiffing. YOu have to be something special to keep it on Second Life.

Nerdalicious April 16, 2009 at 2:43 pm

BTW, according to the losers of the election blogs, Santelli has been crowned king of the losers today anyway, tomorrow, who knows? Clarence Page calls the gop the “orphan party with no leader”.

glamourdammerung April 16, 2009 at 2:44 pm

At least they managed to get a black person at one of these “teabagger balls”.

iolanthe April 16, 2009 at 2:44 pm

[re=291911]psilage[/re]: Fox girl needs to have 8 *little* titties in two symmetrical rows, not 2 big ones. Sheesh, if she’s enough of a furry to get the articulation of the hips, knees, and ankles right, you’d think she’d go for verisimilitude with the tits.

freakishlystrong April 16, 2009 at 2:45 pm

[re=291939]Nerdalicious[/re]: They all lie at Fux, but yes, it was Neal “there’s Liberals and Democrats here, this is not a Republican thing”, (yet failed to produce nary a one), Cavuto.

iolanthe April 16, 2009 at 2:45 pm

[re=291943]Gopherit[/re]: Also true of the Furries *I* know.

raysmuckles April 16, 2009 at 2:46 pm

[re=291895]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: The key word there is “confirmed.” That doesn’t mean the rest of these nutbags are off the hook.

blader April 16, 2009 at 2:46 pm

That series pics has paultard fingerprints all over it

randem April 16, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Now if only Second Life could sell them virtual guns, we’d be able to contain all the right-wing nut-jobs in a harmless virtual world where they could stomp out virtual abortions and kill all the virtual fags by stoning… and the real world could silently go on improving around them.

Luke Warm April 16, 2009 at 2:47 pm

Does anyone find it strange that none of the guys seem are looking at the girls or seem remotely interested in them. I though getting laid was the whole point of going to protests.

Lionel Hutz Esq. April 16, 2009 at 2:48 pm

You could at least show a picture of the virtual fuck and suck fest that broke out at the stroke of midnight amongst the 12 Heritage interns who controlled these characters.

Ted Kennedy Breakdancing April 16, 2009 at 2:52 pm

I just realized how fucked we are when I look at a picture of a bunny in a suit and tie holding a sign and think to myself, “Eh, that looks about right”

Fuck me.

Ted Kennedy Breakdancing April 16, 2009 at 2:54 pm

I guess it should also be noted that in the “Which one are you drinking” picture, there appears to be a midget bankrobbing flasher descending the steps surreptitiously.

rev_matt_y April 16, 2009 at 2:56 pm

WTF?!?! I’ve never been on Second Life, and I now plan to keep it that way.

Mustang April 16, 2009 at 2:57 pm

This is golden. But I have to wonder about the disconnect of sitting on your fat ass and playing like you’re an avatar that looks like it works out about 40 hours a week. If that’s your physical ideal, why aren’t you working toward achieving that look for your own self with diet and exercise?

Squiggyfm April 16, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Virgins, the whole lot.

Custerwolf April 16, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Jimmy Carter’s really retaining water in that first picture.

Nerdalicious April 16, 2009 at 2:59 pm

[re=291951]freakishlystrong[/re]:
Yeah, that’s Glenn Dick’s lament. “We are the third party” BS. SS? Gestapo? Party of spewing Hate? Seriously, I thought David Duke might show up at the teabaggers ball yesterday (sorry, I had to add one more blatent double entendre).

Todomy April 16, 2009 at 3:00 pm

The Government may waste money, but these people are wasting the most precious resource of all…time

qaf April 16, 2009 at 3:00 pm

I know someone’s already made a reference, but it is indeed interesting that the only place you see any non-Euro-Americans at these teabag protests is in a virtual reality.

Custerwolf April 16, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Don’t look now, but I think I just spotted a silly rabbit looking to beat down some fat kid who’s been messing with his trademark.

Nerdalicious April 16, 2009 at 3:05 pm

[re=291987]qaf[/re]:
Honestly, it was like “Village of the Damned” yesterday at the non-event. Who would put their kids up to that freakish, inappropriate nonsense? Sorry, but I have to say Hitler youth.
http://www.bright-white-light.com/diary/wp-content/village-of-the-damned-kids.jpg

Custerwolf April 16, 2009 at 3:05 pm

[re=291913]iolanthe[/re]: I love you.

Bearbloke April 16, 2009 at 3:06 pm

[re=291958]Luke Warm[/re]: but only for us muslin socsialistgayabortionhaving commiefashits nobamakenyateleprompteracron libruls….

twowheeljunkie April 16, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Love that chick in the barrel. Is she holding the sign with her boobs?

The Cap' April 16, 2009 at 3:07 pm

“YouTube Thomas Paine impersonator as Big Brother”: That’s not Lou Dobbs on the town on a Saturday night?

S.Luggo April 16, 2009 at 3:20 pm

The soul patch-dude is modeling the latest in George Will casual wear.

Accordion-o-rama April 16, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Finally, tea parties with hot women and minorities!

NoWireHangers April 16, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Soooooooooooo…these people on Second Life, protest in SECOND LIFE? So they clicked their mouse around while sitting naked in some basement dungeon masturbatorium in the middle of Kansas, and THIS was their idea of protest: changing their furry avatar out of it’s dildo suit and instead putting it in a tight, cleavage baring shirt that shares that they vote for McCain (in Second Life). And they paid money for that virtual t-shirt, real money, not Ameros. But where does the money come from? Disability can only pay for so many Funyuns, and if people stop paying taxes, well that’ll just dry right up.

facehead April 16, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Focus on the first, first.

NoWireHangers April 16, 2009 at 3:29 pm

In reality, aka “First Life” as one Second Lifer said to me (seriously), that big boobed furry is Pastor John, the muscly African American is your local Klansman, and the pink-haired skank is Kathryn Jean Lopez.

choinski April 16, 2009 at 3:43 pm

Whoever wrote the ‘Debt Star’ snark is a worthy opponent.

But the YouTube pick “What’s in a Name?” – idunno, letters?

martinette April 16, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Nobody casts a shadow! Nobody interacts! They’re Zombie Wingnutz!

Guppy06 April 16, 2009 at 3:45 pm

“No new taxes?”

AFAIK, the only ones seeing “new taxes” are the ones making enough money to afford real 5-diamond whores and wouldn’t be in Second Life trying to find a cheap, polygonal imitation, and AIG executives.

WIld Turkey April 16, 2009 at 3:45 pm

I guess it would take up too much bandwidth if their avatars were as morbidly obese as the fucktards who actually show up at the real teabagging events.

AfghanVet April 16, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Is it me, or do all of the screenshots look like a scene out of Brazil?

lulzmonger April 16, 2009 at 3:49 pm

*YIFF IN HELL, FURFAGS*

It needed to be said.

Yeah, I’m sure Obama’s real-life tax-CUT is somehow putting the hurts on their cyber-cash … & nothing says “serious political activist” quite like making your fox-with-bazongas avatar march around on your screen carrying a fucking digital protest-sign – obviously, there is no minimal IQ requirement to own & use a computer.

(Second Life = Pong – Entertainment)

AfghanVet April 16, 2009 at 3:52 pm

(Second Life = Pong – Entertainment)= butt load of awesome!

WeirdInWimberley April 16, 2009 at 3:55 pm

Good griefer!

WalnutsThePlumber April 16, 2009 at 4:00 pm

foxes can vote?

Scandinavian Fetus April 16, 2009 at 4:17 pm

The homeschooled kid is smiling because he is taking literally the new slogan for General Mills, “Silly Rabbit, Prix are for kids.

Scandinavian Fetus April 16, 2009 at 4:18 pm

[re=292138]Scandinavian Fetus[/re]: Crap. Posted in the wrong story. It was hard to see my monitor during the middle of a teabagging session.

Got some corn in yr teeth there, bub April 16, 2009 at 4:45 pm

Hey, aren’t most furries super liberal skinny nerds and junk? I mean, my vast reserves of anecdotal evidence suggest that, but I’d like to know what the commentors on an anime-themed politics site think. LOVE your chibi mascot, BTW.

wickedlittledoll April 16, 2009 at 4:54 pm
DeLand DeLakes April 16, 2009 at 5:33 pm

Would French aristocrats be at a teabagging party? Maybe. Would giant, anthropomorphic foxes be at a teabagging party? probably. Would black people be at a teabagging party? Yep, there’s the giant logistical fallacy of this sad little Second Life pageant.

Baconbits April 16, 2009 at 5:52 pm

So based on the 3rd picture from the bottom, teabaggers want you to drink the tea, then throw it in the harbor? Or do you just drink the harbor water after you’ve dumped the tea? So confused…

keepinitrealyo April 16, 2009 at 6:08 pm

This explains why Fox News’ attendance esstimates are so much higher than Nate Silver’s.

GinnyRED57 April 16, 2009 at 7:21 pm

LOL, I hang out on Second Life at the “Cafe Wellstone” Democratic club, and heard about this demo from a friend who was observing the Teabagger event.

I was busy dancing while wearing a musical teapot, and I didn’t even win a prize. I should have followed my instinct and gatecrashed teh Republicans non-partisan interspecies tax protest

Must report to the General.

anabellum April 16, 2009 at 8:36 pm

i hate my second life..

HedonismBot April 16, 2009 at 8:49 pm

Bondage Abe Lincoln was kind of cool.

HedonismBot April 16, 2009 at 8:56 pm

I can’t believe how many people actually showed up at these things. do they even know what they are protesting? Forgive my lack of snark. What I’m seeing here is a bunch of sore McCain voters who took the first opportunity they could find to protest Obama’s very existence. No matter how much the sane people in our country and the world try to advance and evolve, we have these losers stuck in the medieval ages who want nothing more than to pull us back down into the muck with them. Yuck.

secret_book April 16, 2009 at 11:29 pm

These look cool! It’s only my first day on Wonkette, but I’m impressed already.

http:tinyurl.com/cvvurz

archaeo-angel April 17, 2009 at 2:14 am

haha. I am especially fond of the pink-haired streetwalker, why is she even worried about taxes? Maybe she takes mastercard….

dearmurray April 17, 2009 at 2:56 am

YEAH! We don’t pay taxes and we don’t hold our virtual protest signs in our frail virtual hands. They just hover in the air above us, like a giant I GOT YOUR DIPSHIT LOSER RIGHT HERE beacon.

Can we have them sterilized in Second Life, as well as in real life?

4intelligence April 17, 2009 at 9:51 am

I must say the second life parties look much cooler than the real-life testicle parties that were thrown around the country!

mik April 17, 2009 at 11:50 am

While fun to riff on these allegedly-conservative gun-toting furry cartoon hookers, there’s plenty of material to ridicule teabaggers about without dismissing this particular set as especially out of touch. IMHO, they look exactly as clueless as their real-life counterparts.

FWIW, unlike the rest of the online gaming world, Second Life demographics are near gender-balanced with an average age in the 30s and with substantial numbers of people in their 40s and 50s: not a whole lot different than, say, political bloggers.

dijetlo April 17, 2009 at 2:31 pm

If we’d known they were trying something like this, we could have unleashed thousands of little naked Howard Deans on them. Just have them run up to each Avatar, wave their little fists and shout ” Aiiiiiiiiiieeeeo!” then run to the next one.
Except the barrel girl, she’s just begging for digital termites….
Where is the vaunted technical prowess of the left when we really need it? Homeland security thinks we can launch cyber attacks on government installations, we can’t even get naked Howard Dean avatars on a second life server….

richardwb1 April 18, 2009 at 1:11 am

i didn’t realize how retarded that Second Life shit is.
Thanks for sharing.

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